Listen, I don't know about y'all but if there is one thing that the past several months has taught me, it's to embrace the space that is all mine that I have total control of—my house. While I have always been pretty domesticated in the sense of wanting my place to feel as warm and inviting as possible, lately, I've been intentionally investing in the rooms of my home so that they evoke intense feelings of peace, tranquility and calm. Basically, every time I walk into my front door, I want to be able to exhale whether I go into my living room, kitchen, bedroom or even my bathroom.
A part of the reason why this is so important to me is because I have worked from home for years now. Yet whether or not that is your personal testimony, I want to take out some time to encourage you to do all that you can to make your weekend hours at your own house feel as much as an oasis as possible. After all, an oasis is the perfect word for what most of us need right through here, don't you think?
Oasis: something serving as a refuge, relief, or pleasant change from what is usual, annoying, difficult, etc.
If this is exactly what you want, but you need a little help finding some inspiration, I've got 15 tips to help to get your started. Ready?
1. Invest in Some Greenery
There are a few awesome reasons to have plants in various rooms of your home. They're proven to be able to help to improve your mood, make you more creative and decrease your stress levels. Growing up, there were quite a few plants in my house, but I must admit that I like my place being on the darker side, so I don't have any around at present. What I do have is a huge faux tree in one of my rooms and I adore it to no end. So, whether it's the real deal (which can also decrease indoor humidity and noise levels) or something that's just for show (click here for some of the best fake greenery around), add some plants to your place. It will definitely—and immediately—create an oasis effect.
2. Make Your Own Scented Candles
Personally, I don't know anyone who isn't close to being totally in love with candles; especially if they're scented. If you happen to be one of them but you've never contemplated the benefits that come from lighting a few of 'em up, candles provide a calming effect. Based on the scent that you choose, they can also appeal your sense of smell and put you into a better mood. Plus, candles are a wonderful complement if you're someone who likes to meditate, pray or journal. And, if your oasis is going to consist of a partner being in your space, candles are mad romantic too.
Thing is, candles aren't always or necessarily the cheapest things on the planet. So, if your budget is super tight, something that you might want to do is make some of your own. It might sound like quite the feat at first, but they're actually easier to make than you might think. You can get a thorough walk-through by checking out this article right here.
3. Get Some Big Throw Pillows
Other than the pillows that you've got on your bed, how many other ones do you own? Something that I dig about big throw pillows is they immediately make a room look warmer and more appealing. Plus, there's nothing more comfortable than putting a couple of them on the floor and laying on them while listening to some music or watching a movie. As a bonus, many throw pillows are pretty inexpensive. You can find them everywhere, from Target and Walmart to Big Lots and Bed Bath & Beyond (Apartment Therapy did a feature on where to get some higher end ones; you can check it out here).
4. Switch Up Your Wall Art
I'm not sure what makes us think that just because we've hung up a particular picture that we can't ever switch it out with something else. By rotating your wall art—based on your particular mood or even season of the year—not only is it a simple way to avoid getting bored with your décor but it can totally shift the energy of any given room in your house. If you want some one-of-a-kind pieces, I've found some really unique and affordable prints on Etsy. Just go to the site and put whatever your favorite kind of art is in the search field.
5. Use Natural Light As Much As Possible
There are a few reasons to make the most of natural light. On the financial tip, it's cheaper than relying on your overhead lights and lamps. Also, natural lighting keeps seasonal depression at bay, helps you to get more Vitamin D into your system and can improve your quality of sleep as well.
If you're someone who is hesitant to open your window treatments up because you're worried that someone can peep in to see what you're up to, there is something called mirror window film that you can apply to your windows. It's cool because it makes it possible for you to look out of your windows while preventing others from being able to look inside of 'em. Just know that this is designed to work during the day not at night (as far as looking outside from indoors). Anyway, you can find rolls of the film at a pretty reasonable price at your local home improvement stores.
6. Add More Neutral Hues
If you speak with interior decorators, many of them will say that nothing welcomes the feeling of calm and tranquility quite like neutral colors do. For the record, the four basic hues of neutral are white (which represents purity and cleanliness), black (which represents sophistication and affluence), grey (which represents maturity and reliability) and brown (which represents authenticity and warmth); however, "near neutrals" (which are lighter or darker versions of the four) are great too. Speaking of colors that are wonderful for creating an oasis-like feeling, pale pastels can also provide a feeling of serenity.
7. Cop Some Seasonal Blankets
I think one of the best things that I ever did to pamper myself was purchase several throw blankets. At this point, I believe I've got around 10 of 'em. I just like stringing some along my loveseat and ottomans, so that I can curl up in one at any given moment while I'm chillin' in pretty much any room of my house. Just make sure to get the ones that match the season you're in. Cotton and fleece are most ideal for spring and summer while wool, cable knit and cashmere are more ideal for the fall and wintertime.
8. Take a Milk Bath
The reason why I wrote the article, "Did You Know There's A Right & A Wrong Way To Take A Bath?" around this time last year is because, the reality is, not all baths are created equal. The reason why I also wrote, "Make 'National Bathtub Party Day' Your Favorite Day Of The Year" (which rolls around at the top of every December, by the way) is because, soaking in your tub is one of the most cost-effective yet also luxuriant ways to pamper yourself. If you opt for taking a milk bath from time to time, depending on the kind of milk that you choose, it can perform mini miracles for your overall health and well-being.
Coconut milk and buttermilk contain lauric acid which supports the skin and the production of collagen. Oat milk soothes dry skin and eczema-related symptoms. Goat milk helps to gently remove dead skin cells. Plus, all of these milks will moisturize your skin in a way that is simply incomparable. Just pour two cups of your preferred milk under warm running water. Then add 1/3 cup of your favorite carrier oil (like coconut oil, grapeseed oil, sweet almond oil, jojoba oil or avocado oil) and a few drops of your preferred essential oil to provide an aromatherapy effect. I promise that you will struggle with getting out of your bathtub once you set the stage with all of this holistic healing stuff.
9. Create Your Own Massage Oil
In a perfect world, we'd all have a man who lived to give us massages on demand. But if that's not your personal testimony (mine either, chile), that doesn't mean that you have to deprive yourself. Self-given scalp massages are divine. So is rubbing your feet while you're watching your favorite show on Netflix, Hulu, UMC or a free streaming site Tubi. Just make sure you pamper your scalp or skin with an oil. Warming up something like olive, avocado or Jamaican black castor oil is good for your scalp. As far as your skin is concerned, why not make a divinely scented one? I actually happened upon a site that lists a whopping 22 different DIY massage oil recipes. You can check it out here.
10. Play Some ASMR or Soothing Music
The reason why there are articles on this platform like, "Before You Pull Out Your Playlist, This Is How Music Affects Your Sex Life" is because, there's no way around the fact that music is powerful—and powerfully influential.
From a scientific standpoint, music is proven to do everything from slow down your breathing and heart rate and reduce stress and anxiety to relieve muscle tension and trigger the production of serotonin so that you're calmer and are able to sleep more soundly.
As far as ASMR goes, while it's only been close to a couple of years now, it has gotten to the point where I never turn in for the night without some rain or ocean waves playing in the background. There is an article I once read that said that ASMR actually has the ability to produce "brain orgasms" from a physiological standpoint. So, if you wish you could be at a beach house, trapped indoors on a rainy day or could hike through a tropical rainforest, hopping on over to YouTube and putting in your favorite nature sounds can be almost just like being there.
11. Sign Up for a Wine Subscription
If there is one thing that gets y'all super hype on this platform, it's wine! I ain't mad about it either because wine is an alcoholic drink that has a significant amount of health benefits; especially if it's red wine. Red wine is scientifically proven to contain antioxidants known as polyphenols that will help to keep your heart healthy, the plant compound resveratrol that helps to lower your blood pressure and improve your cognitive functions, and other properties that assist in lowering depression-related symptoms. Wine also has nutrients that support you having stronger immunity and glowing skin. You can always run up to your closest liquor or even grocery store to get your favorite bottle. Or, if you're like me and you prefer to be indoors as much as possible on the weekends, another option is to join a wine club or subscription box service. You can find over 20 of the best ones by going here.
12. Order Some Takeout
Eating out isn't always the cheapest thing; especially if you're ordering food to be delivered. I'll give you that. But if you want to support local eateries in your area and enjoy a good meal without having to prepare it, that is always an option that you can take advantage of. If you're a bit leery because of the pandemic, check out, "10 Safety Practices For Ordering Takeout (During A Pandemic)". If you'd prefer to help out a Black-owned restaurant specifically, Eat Okra is a new app that features those in your local area.
13. Or, Eat Some Calm and Comforting Foods
Really. What's the point in cultivating the perfect ambiance if you're gonna be a nervous wreck either way? Sometimes, in the effort to find a little peace and tranquility, we mess up by chowing down on foods that ultimately cause us to climb the walls (umm, like sugar). Certain foods that promote a sense of harmony are featured in the article on our site, "8 Foods That Will Keep You Cool, Calm & Totally Relaxed". Some other foods that didn't make the list, that are both calming and comforting, include homemade soup, sautéed spinach, avocado toast, grilled salmon and turkey melts.
14. Put Your Phone on Vibrate
Tell me something. If you were on vacation right now, at your favorite spot, would you have your phone with you, 24/7? Unless you're a parent and your kids aren't with you, if your answer is "yes", please check out "8 Solid Reasons To Put. Your Phone. Down.". We've got voicemails on our phone for a reason; one of them is so that we can have moments when we're not constantly checking social media notifications or even chatting back and forth with other people. If you want to create a sense of calm and serenity on your weekends, put your phone on a charger in another room. Whatever is awaiting you on it…it can wait. It really can.
15. Sleep In
While recently checking out a pretty extensive sleep survey, I noticed that two-thirds of Americans claim to not sleep well during the week. That's a lot of people. If you're one of them, why not use the weekend to get some extra rest in? For the record, there really is no such thing as "catching up on your sleep", but being able to have a couple of days when you don't have to be a slave to your alarm clock—that can be super refreshing and a perfect way to recharge for Monday. So, definitely make it a point to either go to bed earlier or to stay in bed a little longer on the weekends. Get some new bedding. Sprinkle some lavender essential oil on your sheets (lavender oil is a natural de-stressor). Drink a little tart cherry juice (the melatonin in it will have you out like a light!). Sleep is a very simple way to get the peace that you've been looking for while you're in the oasis atmosphere that you created for yourself. Make sure that you get some this weekend, aight?
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'Bel-Air' Actress Jazlyn Martin On Her Ongoing Identity Crisis And Its Influence On Her Creative Journey
Jazlyn Martin is a triple-threat performer known most for her role as Jackie on Peacock’sBel-Air. Her character’s fiery personality and questionable decisions have led to a few shocking moments in the series and quite a bit of convo on social media.
Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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The changing seasons can sometimes affect your mood and/ or your sleep. While it's normal, it can throw your body off and make you groggy and irritable. And no one wants to deal with that. Well, the experts at HAYPP have researched some popular sleep hacks, so you don't have to.
TikTok has become a go-to source for learning tips and tricks for just about anything, and they have numerous videos on different sleep hacks that people swear by. HAYPP rounded up the best sleep hacks found on TikTok that may actually work.
Keep reading below.
Acupressure
@oldtown_acupuncturist Sleep better tonight with acupressure #acupressure #acupuncturist #insomnia How to sleep better with acupressure point
This is also known as the peaceful sleep acupuncture point, aka Anmian, and can be found one cm right behind the middle of your ears. While this hack has been around for ages, Dr. Eileen brought it back to the forefront on TikTok. To try this technique, lie on your back and, for about a minute, apply gentle pressure behind both ears with your thumb.
While you may be familiar with acupuncture as sticking needles into your body, it actually helps to remove blockages that cause imbalances so energy can flow. Acupressure works the same way. In fact, a study of 25 patients with sleep disorders were treated with acupressure, and 60% experienced better sleep within the first 10 days.
Tart Cherry Juice
@naraazizasmith who has tried this?? #fypシ #sleepygirlmocktail #drink #marriage #mocktails
There's a reason tart cherry juice, with the help of magnesium and prebiotic soda, went viral. This concoction became known as the sleepy girl mocktail and has amassed 28.2 million views on TikTok. Tart cherry juice contains tryptophan, which increases the production of melatonin. It has also been linked to reducing stress levels, weight loss, and hydration.
Cricket Feet
@funwithangedhd #adhdawarenessmonth #adhd #cricketing #fidgettofocus #stimming I've cricketed my feet for as long as I can remember, and multiple family members have done this, too. just thought it was a #Bonebrake thing! 🤣 #adhdgenetics
Cricketing, aka cricket feet, is another powerful sleep hack that everyone is talking about on TikTok. The trend, which was made popular by the content creator @notyouraveragethrpst, involves rubbing your feet together to soothe yourself to sleep. Because our feet also have pressure points, applying gentle pressure, like rubbing behind your ears, can lead to better sleep as it reduces the stress hormone.
Cognitive Shuffling
@thesleep_md Have you tried cognitive shuffling? If you have racing thoughts that keep you at night, then you should! This is a cognitive technique that works in a couple of ways The 1st is that it distracts your brain from racing thoughts But the 2nd and most interesting is that the random nature of the activity actually puts you in a dream like state that makes it easier to transition into sleep In order to do this, you start by thinking of a random word like "Bedtime" And you start visualizing random images to go along with each letter in the word For example for the letter "B" you might think of a broom, or a box or a book You continue vizualizing images for each letter until you run out of ideas, then move on to the next letter You continue doing so until you eventually fall asleep Which for many, happens within the first 10 to 15 minutes Share with a friend who needs to try this! #sleepspecialist #sleepstruggles #bettersleep #sleepbetter #sleeptips #fallasleepfast
Cognitive shuffling is a hack that claims to have you asleep in five minutes or less. This technique involves listing random things in your mind until you fall asleep, which may be good for overthinkers who have a hard time shutting off their brain.
Drunken Monkeys
@usamedical I know I look like a drunken monkey 🙈 #sleeptips #sleepbetter #howtosleepbetter #sleep #sleephack
Usamedical originally shared the drunken monkey hack, and it has since been viewed on TikTok 955.5k times. The drunken monkey requires that you move your weight from side to side on your hips, rolling your shoulders back and flapping your arms about (like a monkey who’s had one too many).
It's recommended that you do this technique one minute before bed to increase blood flow, which in turn allows you to relax.
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