I’ve spent over 1,000 days traveling and living abroad, and while some of those days I feel equipped to run a nation, and other times, I’m a mere breakdown away from resorting to pampers, the happy medium in there reminds me that the growth has been incredible over time.
And for those who are about to embark on long-term travel for the first time, I hope this post can help give you some insight as to what there is to know about the crazy world of travel.
1. Become a “YES” gal. They make for the best stories.
Petra, Jordan
I met a guy Dace, from San Francisco, while traveling in Jordan, and when we were swapping stories, he reminded me of the importance of being a “yes” man. And how saying “yes” to every offer and conversation led to one of the most unforgettable days he’s ever had while traveling. And I couldn’t agree more.
Invited for lunch by customs officers at the border in Cyprus? I said YES.
Climb a dangerously steep, massive rock to watch the sunset in Petra? I said YES.
Explore a new city with someone you know from Instagram? ALWAYS SAY YES.
2. Learn to let the universe play its course.
Missed your flight? It happens! Stay an extra day and do something ridiculous and unforgettable. Get super lost? Good news! There’s something everywhere you turn, so you’re never technically “lost”, just completely opposite of where you initially intended to go. The hot guy you met has just left? No worries! He probably has herpes a girlfriend and was looking for an excuse to cheat on her. Dodged a bullet there, soldier. Chat it up with the other guy who’s been eyeing you instead.
Whether it’s patience, resourcefulness, or destiny that the universe is trying to show and teach you, allow it to do its job. If everything always went as planned, we’d all be billionaires, right?
3. Surround yourself with like-minded travelers.
As someone who spends her days constantly pouring inspiration, motivation, and empowering words into the lives of others, you get to a point where you exhaust all your energy and need to be refueled by the words and inspiration of like-minded people. If you drain your mind of all the hope and encouragement you constantly give others, then there’s nothing left for you. Seek mentorship and surround yourself with those who fan your flames, not extinguish them.
4. Don’t ignore your anxiety/stress/depression.
Sveti Stefan, Montenegro
Life happens to everyone, and it’s important to look after your mental health just as much as your physical health. Don’t ignore your depression if/when it comes. Sometimes, there will be no cause of it. Sometimes, you won’t know who to talk to. Sometimes, you won’t want anyone to talk to. But be sure to do something that’s actively combatting or fighting it. You are not above getting help for anything you go through just because your life is coveted or romanticized by others.
5. Know your privilege and don’t abuse it.
London, UK
Whether it’s your privilege of traveling without visas based on your nationality, your privilege of not getting randomly stopped and checked for papers, or even your privilege that allows you to afford this lifestyle.
Keep your privilege in check and don’t ever mistake it as an unwavering right.
6. Call your mom.
Check in with her as often as possible. Any way you can. Calls. Texts. Photos. Skype. Whatever. There is no such thing as over-calling the woman who brought you into the world that you’re currently exploring.
7. Document everything. In multiple ways.
Chiang Mai, Thailand
Journal. Blog. Video. Photos. Letters. Postcards. Stamps. Anything! It’ll be SO valuable [for you] down the line. The one thing you’re promised is your nows and todays. So document them! Remember them in their purest form by writing and recording those moments you want to keep forever.
I wish I took more video of my travels back in 2012. Video is as raw as it gets and whether you do anything with it or not, you’ll have something to laugh and reminisce over years from now when Facebook reminds you that this cyber gold still exists.
8. Don’t confuse a magical moment for a magical guy.
Sunset in Budva, Montenegro
Ah, yes. The inevitable. Falling in love on the road. You’re sitting on a hilltop, overlooking the sea, fireworks lighting up the sky from some random local festival that gave you another excuse to drink, and you’re sharing that moment with a guy you met a few hours ago. All of a sudden, you’re planning out your exotic happily-ever-after when he’ll just turn out to be a miserably-never-again. You ignored the red flags, because when in Rome, right?! Wrong. Because you’re in Barcelona. But also, no. Lol.
Follow your heart, but take your brain and morals with you. I promise you, the two can coexist despite what our Jersey Shore generation wants you to believe.
[Tweet "Don't confuse a magical moment for a magical guy"]
9. Good people are everywhere.
The amount of strangers, locals, and guardian angels I've encountered on the road, are enough to remind me that 99.9% of the human race is innately good. We all love and hurt the same, and when we put our differences aside, we're so much more alike than we think. Before the world was separated by invisible borders and nationalist movements, we all existed as one, and the random acts of kindness I receive daily on the road, are great reminders of that.
10. Travel for more than just the fun of it.
Jerusalem, Israel
Travel to learn. To challenge yourself. To earn trust. To make friends. To lose friends. To experience heartache. Poverty. Refugees. Corruption. Politics. Travel to change more than just your profile picture, because there is so much to gain from this invaluable experience.
[Tweet "Travel to learn. To challenge yourself. To earn trust."]
Originally posted on The Blog Abroad.
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
Courtesy
I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
Courtesy
That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
Courtesy
So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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