

I’ve spent over 1,000 days traveling and living abroad, and while some of those days I feel equipped to run a nation and other times, I’m a mere breakdown away from resorting to pampers, the happy medium in there reminds me that the growth has been incredible over time.
And for those who are about to embark on long-term travel for the first time, I hope this post can help give you some insight as to what there is to know about the crazy world of travel.
1. Become a “YES” gal. They make for the best stories.
Petra, Jordan
I met a guy Dace, from San Francisco, while traveling in Jordan, and when we were swapping stories, he reminded me of the importance of being a “yes” man. And how saying “yes” to every offer and conversation led to one of the most unforgettable days he’s ever had while traveling. And I couldn’t agree more.
Invited for lunch by customs officers at the border in Cyprus? I said YES.
Climb a dangerously steep, massive rock to watch the sunset in Petra? I said YES.
Explore a new city with someone you know from Instagram? ALWAYS SAY YES.
2. Learn to let the universe play its course.
Missed your flight? It happens! Stay an extra day and do something ridiculous and unforgettable. Get super lost? Good news! There’s something everywhere you turn, so you’re never technically “lost”, just completely opposite of where you initially intended to go. The hot guy you met has just left? No worries! He probably has herpes a girlfriend and was looking for an excuse to cheat on her. Dodged a bullet there, soldier. Chat it up with the other guy who’s been eyeing you instead.
Whether it’s patience, resourcefulness, or destiny that the universe is trying to show and teach you, allow it to do its job. If everything always went as planned, we’d all be billionaires, right?
3. Surround yourself with like-minded travelers.
As someone who spends her days constantly pouring inspiration, motivation, and empowering words into the lives of others, you get to a point where you exhaust all your energy and need to be refueled by the words and inspiration of like-minded people. If you drain your mind of all the hope and encouragement you constantly give others, then there’s nothing left for you. Seek mentorship and surround yourself with those who fan your flames, not extinguish them.
4. Don’t ignore your anxiety/stress/depression.
Sveti Stefan, Montenegro
Life happens to everyone, and it’s important to look after your mental health just as much as your physical health. Don’t ignore your depression if/when it comes. Sometimes, there will be no cause for it. Sometimes, you won’t know who to talk to. Sometimes, you won’t want anyone to talk to. But be sure to do something that’s actively combatting or fighting it. You are not above getting help for anything you go through just because your life is coveted or romanticized by others.
5. Know your privilege and don’t abuse it.
London, UK
Whether it’s your privilege of traveling without visas based on your nationality, your privilege of not getting randomly stopped and checked for papers, or even your privilege that allows you to afford this lifestyle.
Keep your privilege in check and don’t ever mistake it as an unwavering right.
6. Call your mom.
Check-in with her as often as possible. Any way you can. Calls. Texts. Photos. Skype. Whatever. There is no such thing as over-calling the woman who brought you into the world that you’re currently exploring.
7. Document everything. In multiple ways.
Chiang Mai, Thailand
Journal. Blog. Video. Photos. Letters. Postcards. Stamps. Anything! It’ll be SO valuable [for you] down the line. The one thing you’re promised is your nows and todays. So document them! Remember them in their purest form by writing and recording those moments you want to keep forever.
I wish I took more video of my travels back in 2012. Video is as raw as it gets and whether you do anything with it or not, you’ll have something to laugh and reminisce over years from now when Facebook reminds you that this cyber gold still exists.
8. Don’t confuse a magical moment for a magical guy.
Sunset in Budva, Montenegro
Ah, yes. The inevitable. Falling in love on the road. You’re sitting on a hilltop, overlooking the sea, fireworks lighting up the sky from some random local festival that gave you another excuse to drink, and you’re sharing that moment with a guy you met a few hours ago. All of a sudden, you’re planning out your exotic happily-ever-after when he’ll just turn out to be a miserably never again. You ignored the red flags, because when in Rome, right?! Wrong. Because you’re in Barcelona. But also, no. Lol.
Follow your heart, but take your brain and morals with you. I promise you, the two can coexist despite what our Jersey Shore generation wants you to believe.
9. Good people are everywhere.
The amount of strangers, locals, and guardian angels I've encountered on the road, is enough to remind me that 99.9% of the human race is innately good. We all love and hurt the same, and when we put our differences aside, we're so much more alike than we think. Before the world was separated by invisible borders and nationalist movements, we all existed as one, and the random acts of kindness I receive daily on the road, are great reminders of that.
10. Travel for more than just the fun of it.
Jerusalem, Israel
Travel to learn. To challenge yourself. To earn trust. To make friends. To lose friends. To experience heartache. Poverty. Refugees. Corruption. Politics. Travel to change more than just your profile picture, because there is so much to gain from this invaluable experience.
Originally posted on The Blog Abroad.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Traveling This Summer? These 10 Layover Hacks Will Get You Through.
With the current administration that we have, I’m sure it comes as no surprise that summer travel is in a bit of a slump this year. Still, that doesn’t mean that many folks aren’t going on some kind of trip that requires air travel, and, in order to keep a few extra bucks in their pocket, they are avoiding direct flights. Instead, they are booking ones that require some sort of a layover.
Layover. Although it isn’t exactly “music to our ears” whenever we hear the word, it doesn’t have to be a tremendous burden if you know some tricks of the trade that will make a layover more bearable. Luckily, I’ve got 10 that could actually make this your best year for summer travel yet, y’all!
10 Layover Travel Tips You’ll Be Glad You Know
1. Research Best Layover Airports (Yes, There Is Such a Thing)
If while planning your trip, if it looks like a layover is going to be more than 90 minutes, it never hurts to research the airports that are the most user-friendly as far as layovers are concerned. From what I can see, several studies reveal that George Bush Intercontinental Airport (Houston, Texas) gets a lot of props, thanks to the food options and the amount of frequent flyer miles that you can stack up.
Some other airports that top the list include Detroit Metropolitan Airport, Seattle–Tacoma International Airport and Denver International Airport. If you want to save money on your travel by having a layover, purposely landing in these cities can make the wait much more pleasurable for you.
2. Download Your Airline’s App
Whatever airline you plan on flying on, make sure to download its app before heading to the airport. There are many reasons why this is a solid hack including the fact that:
1) you can check-in and get a mobile boarding pass; 2) you can get real-time travel updates; 3) you can utilize the entertainment options that they have (including the airline’s Wi-Fi); 4) you can see how to best navigate through various airports; 5) you can easily contact their customer service support; 6) you can oftentimes track your checked baggage, and 7) some apps (like Delta) can even help you to store where you parked your car (if you put it in long-term parking) in your smartphone, so that you can easily find it upon your return.
3. Also Download Your Entertainment Beforehand
If you happen to be on a flight that either doesn’t have Wi-Fi or charges for it, you can still enjoy your movies ‘n stuff by downloading them before you leave. This can also come in handy at the airport when their internet access is running hella slow because so many people are accessing it.
4. Choose a (Layover) City Where You Have a Friend
Although I don’t hate to fly, I wouldn’t exactly say that it’s my favorite thing to do. And so, back when I used to fly to South Africa to see some family, it was common for me to stop over in London for a couple of days because it’s the halfway mark for me — and seven hours on a plane is a lot easier to endure than a whopping 14.
That said, if you’re planning on an international trip, you’re not the biggest fan of flying yourself or, again, you want to save a few coins by booking a flight that has a layover or two — why not use this as an opportunity to hang out with a family member or friend in another city? That way, you can get a break from air travel and get in some quality time with them as well.
5. Pack Some of Your Own Snacks
If you’ve ever wondered why airport food is so damn expensive, one of the main reasons is how much it costs for each restaurant to rent their space is completely insane. Plus, there are things like vendors, commission costs and all kinds of other “blah, blahs” that make the mark-ups so crazy. That’s why it can never hurt to bring some snacks along — non-liquid items that you can pack in your carry-on that will get you through your layovers without you breaking the bank in the process.
6. Put an Empty Recyclable Bottle in Your Carry On
Since a lot of airports have water refills stations available, you can stay hydrated while also keeping coins in your pocket by packing an EMPTY recyclable bottle in your carry-on too. Most TSAs will totally allow it. As far as refills on actual drinks, some airports allow those as well (after you purchase one drink from them, of course); never assume, though. Ask before making the purchase.
7. Have a Portable Charger in Tow
Maybe it’s just me but, even though airports seem to be filled with charging stations all over the place, it’s like only half of them actually work (and I’m being gracious on that!). That’s why it’s also a good idea to invest in a portable charger. I don’t know what took me so freakin’ long to get myself one; however, it’s basically my BFF at this point.
The one that I will cosign on is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W Max Fast Portable Charger. It charges pretty fast and I’ve been able to get about three full charges on my smartphone before needing to charge the portable one all over again. Such a lifesaver!
8. Get Some Lounge Access
If almost everything about airports gets on your very last nerve, you definitely need to get some airport lounge access. It’s quiet(er); you have lots of room to stretch out; the food and drink that they have to offer is typically free; many lounges have spaces that are designed and designated for children; there are convenient work stations, and some even feature spas and showers (I know, right?).
And just how do you get your hands on all of this? You can do so by flying first or business class, using your frequent flyer miles, presenting your military ID or purchasing a membership or even a day pass access into your airline’s lounge.
9. Cop Some Duty-Free Samples
If you are going on an international flight, make sure to take advantage of the duty-free shops, not just because you are usually able to purchase items from there without paying local taxes but they oftentimes have free samples that you can stock up on as well; this is especially the case when it comes to beauty-related items.
10. Stay over a Night
Since a fair share of my friends are in the entertainment world, they tend to travel a lot. What is always funny to me is how most of them talk about flying to almost every city in the country while only actually visiting a handful of them. My point here? If you are headed one place and you decide to not have a direct flight, if the city where you are having your layover is one that you’ve always been interested in, stay over a night or even two.
You can find some hacks for how to find cheap hotel rooms by checking out “Hot to Get Cheap Hotel Rooms: 20 Tips and Tricks” on Travel Mums’ site.
BONUS: Get an Exit Row Seat
If one of the things that you hate about changing planes is how uncomfortable the flights can be, space wise, ask to be put in an exit row seat. You will automatically have so much more room without having to pay what first class passengers do. Brilliant. Happy (and safe) travels!
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