Q: How does yoni massage work to promote sexual healing and a deeper connection with our inner being? 

A: It's a spiritual practice. It's a practice that allows you to connect to your mind, restore a sense of safety, and remind you that this body of yours is deserving of pleasure. When we are talking about sexual healing and being in community with ourselves, we are talking about creating a sacred practice for us to be in union with ourselves.

It's not always going to feel good. It's not always so exciting or enjoyable. There will be moments where you're going to cry. There will be moments when hard feelings and emotions come up. But I always encourage people that instead of shying away from those moments, continue to move through those emotions and allow the movement of massaging yourself to melt away those emotions.

Q: What’s the difference between a yoni massage and masturbation?

A: It's really about the intention more than the act itself. We've been conditioned to think about masturbation as a quick 5-10 minutes to rub it out with our favorite toy, and then we’re on our way.

Whereas yoni massages are more of a mindful practice and the intention behind it isn't to orgasm. You're not in a rush. You're talking very clearly and intentionally about understanding your body. Yoni massages are more of a healing tool and can be a grounding practice as well. You’re coming back to yourself, filtering through your trauma, and releasing all of that pent-up emotion from past relationships, sexual trauma, your childhood, and religion.

Q: Should we be incorporating affirmation during yoni massages? How should we talk to ourselves during this practice? 

A: Absolutely! It kind of tetters on the line of sex magic, and I adore sex magic. If you want to talk out loud, do it. If you want to keep it quiet and talk to yourself in your head, do it. However you want to communicate with yourself during this time, it’s up to you. You definitely should be speaking to yourself with kindness and asking yourself questions.

Speak life over yourself the way you would a partner or friend. Affirm yourself. Tell yourself how beautiful, fine, sexy, important, necessary, and abundant you are. Use that energy to your benefit because it's your energy, and it can absolutely allow you to manifest as well. Visualize your future self and have conversations with her. Again, this is your erotic energy, this is your purest energy, and it's the rawest form to use whatever you want to have a conversation with yourself.

Follow These Steps To Perform Your Own Yoni Massage:

Prepare your mind.

“We want to bring our full self into this, so take a few minutes to meditate and breathe slowly and deeply. Set the mood for yourself, whether that is lining satin sheets, lighting candles, or turning some music on. Court and date yourself in this process. The same way that you would want to set the mood for your partner, set the mood for yourself. Help yourself get into the mindset to explore your body.”

Look at yourself in the mirror.

“Spend time touching yourself in the mirror, standing up, and gently running your hands all over your body before you fully dive into the massage. Take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate your body in the mirror. It can be uncomfortable to be with ourselves in that vulnerable state, but I find it to be empowering to look in the mirror and never break the gaze you have with yourself.”

Find a comfortable space and position.

“It could be your bedroom or the bathroom, wherever you feel comfortable. Bend your legs or place your feet on the ground and spread your legs. Start with sensual touching, massaging your abdomen and your belly, playing with your breasts and your areolas.”

Stay connected to your heart.

“Try to keep at least one hand on your heart and the other hand playing with your yoni. Pay attention to your heart, how your heart rate is increasing, or if it is relaxed. Notice when your body tenses up, breathe, and force that energy back down to your yoni to relax. The goal again isn’t to orgasm — it can happen and more than likely will — the point of the massage is for you to be comfortable, confident, and to communicate with yourself.”

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