There is nothing like giving birth to a beautiful baby. The amazing feeling you get after counting those cute little fingers and toes and knowing that they were born happy and healthy is one that every mother-to-be dreams about. For some women, it is enough to have loved ones present for that special moment and to be able to hold your little bundle of joy after hours of labor, but for others-- they want a little more.
Today, women are looking for special gifts from their men to show their appreciation for giving birth to their children. Some of these gifts are simple and sweet; others are necessary and practical. Then there are the gifts that are so exquisite and expensive that it would be in poor taste to talk how many zeros are at the end of the price tag. We are talking about the latest trend for birthing mothers called “push presents.”
A push present, also known as a baby mama gift or baby bauble, is a gift that a father gives to the mother in the occasion of childbirth. From a simple bracelet to a fast-paced car, this trend is surprisingly gaining more traction.
Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s reality star, Kim Kardashian, requested a “push present” from her husband Kanye West for the birth of their second child, Saint West. She asked for a Lorraine Schwartz diamond choker that is priced at $1M from her husband. She revealed:
“We women go through an entire pregnancy carrying a baby…of course it only makes sense that we get something amazing to show how amazing we are! LOL! Do you guys believe in a push present? I never did, but all of my friends do! We have the funniest e-mail chains discussing it.”
Kim is not the first and only celebrity granted a lavish gift for giving birth. Mariah Carey received a $12,000 necklace studded with diamonds and pink sapphires by her husband, Nick Cannon, after the 2011 birth of their twins. Jessica Alba's $54,000 Franck Muller gold and diamond watch was a special gift from her husband Cash Warren, in 2011. Let’s not forget that Latin crooner, Mark Anthony, allegedly showered his ex-wife, Jennifer Lopez, with a $300,000 canary diamond ring and $2.5 million earrings.
As this trend continues to grow, it makes us wonder, does that mean that having a child now has a price tag? Are women now demanding gifts in order to birth children for
men? Do women deserve these special gifts for giving birth? Will having children become too expensive for men?
According to a 2007 survey by BabyCenter (over 30,000 respondents):
- 38% of new mothers received a push present
- 55% of pregnant mothers wanted one, though fewer thought it was actually expected
- About 40% of both groups said the baby itself was already a present and did not wish an additional reward.
We did our own questioning of everyday women to get their thoughts on push present and here are their interesting responses:
ALL FOR A GIFT
Though it was laughable at first, push gifts actually aren't a bad idea to me now. Listen, if your husband (or Bae) can afford to handsomely gift you for birthing a beautiful bouncing baby after enduring an almost year-long pregnancy filled with cravings, weight gain and pregnant brain, LET HIM! I actually think it’s kind of beautiful that men want to show gratitude this way. I also don't think there's anything wrong with a woman requesting one. As long as the baby will be loved and cared for, why not? And can I also add that I'm for the extravagant gifts, too?! It doesn't have to be, of course, but they're welcome. My older sister didn't get a "push gift" per se, but for her first Mother's Day this year, her husband bought her a car. Like, a whole brand new vehicle. Seriously, lets talk about this! LOL - Ariel WilliamsI wish I wasn't so young when I had my daughter, I didn't know about push presents back then!
I think it's a sweet gesture, but not to be expected. I've seen. Some crazy push presents, like huge diamond rings, cars, etc.....just a card would even be nice. Men have no idea what it's like to carry a baby....it wreaks havoc on our bodies, our emotions, etc....showing a little appreciation is always invited! - DoorBella Rose
I never had a baby but it is a great idea. Bringing life into the world is a big deal! You're welcome. I think that we look at pregnancy as so routine. Pregnancy brings so many changes with not only a woman's body but her mind too. It’s a huge responsibility and a blessing to carry a child. Robin Hardeman
BABY IS GIFT ENOUGH
Isn't a healthy baby the ultimate "Push Present"? I would never ASK my husband for a "Push Present." I think it's ridiculous. Now on the flipside, my husband bought me a new car after I had my son because the car I had was rear wheel drive, and for our safety he wanted me to drive an All Wheel Drive vehicle because we are on the eastcoast and we have snow. Some can argue, that this would be a "Push Present" LOL! As stated before, I would never "demand" nor "request" a present for giving birth to our child. Him blessing me with our son, was the Ultimate Gift! - Aaliyah CastroA healthy baby is far more important than any push present. When a woman gets pregnant and gives birth the one thing that should be on her mind is her baby, not how expensive her push present will be. But if a man chooses to express his gratitude by rewarding you with material things then there is nothing wrong there either. If you have to ask/beg for the gift or drop hints then he probably don't think that you deserve it. - Shanice Jones
My kids are older (14 & 20) so push presents weren't a thing or a big thing when I had kids. I find them tacky and taking away from the gift of the child. Hell, being a mother of a teen and a 20 year old let's me see how a REAL push present would be a lavish spa day as opposed to some jewelry or expensive bag, but I know I'm in the minority with this as many demand it. - Sabrina Richmond Perkins
I GOT A PUSH PRESENT
I think if your mate wants to make the gesture then cool but I don't think it's an occasion for a "wish list". The hubs bought me a third band to go with my wedding ring but he chose to do that on his own when I had our son. - TaKenya HamptonI'm for them but they aren't a necessity nor do they need to be extravagant. When I woke up from a nap after just giving birth to my first child, I noticed my husband had gotten me a bouquet of flowers. It was the first thing I saw and I turned into mush. I wasn't into flowers...until then. - Shanna Fife
I love push presents. For me, I was so consumed with eating healthy and being all natural and preparing nursery... I wasn't thinking about myself at all. My present was my dream car. It felt/feels great driving alone after the baby came and hearing that engine roar LOL. It's nice to have someone think about you when you and everyone else is thinking about the sweet little baby - Shayla Greene
Many sources say that this present giving is mostly inspired by word of mouth and peer pressure. According to Linda Murray, the executive editor of BabyCenter, "It’s an expectation of moms these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body. The guilt really gets piled on."
Although I am not a mother yet, I don’t see the NEED for a push present eventhough it is a beautiful gesture, especially if it is given from the heart. I can’t see myself requesting a gift because I feel that the REAL gift would be my beautiful and healthy child. Plus, I would rather have help changing the diapers!
What are your thoughts on push presents? Will you request one from your hubby?
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
It is Eartha Kitt who once said, “Aging has a wonderful beauty, and we should have respect for that.” I couldn’t agree more. That’s why, it really does get under my skin, that we live in a culture that is almost obsessed with staying young. Why? Don’t you want to grow, evolve…mature? That’s why I’m also not big on people who are damn near obsessed with looking 20 years younger than they are. Nah, personally, I think the goal of looking great for and at your age is where it’s at because, as my mother (who ages remarkably well) used to say, “I’ve earned every year. I don’t want to be looking like a child when I’m not.” (It’ll preach.)
This kind of wisdom is the type of hindsight that cannot be matched. Because again, while getting older shouldn’t be anything that any of us are afraid of or ashamed to do, wouldn’t it be great if we were more proactive than reactive when it comes to how we take care of ourselves — so that as we do age (and it is inevitable), we will age…gracefully…seamlessly…beautifully?
That’s why I took the time to ask 15 women in their 40s to share some things that they wish they had done in their 20s as far as physical beauty is concerned. Look at it as me doing a solid for any of you younger readers who really think that “I woke up like this” will last…forever. It won’t. And if you settle into that very real reality by taking good care of yourself now, the 40s will be where you actually end up looking better than ever.
*Middle names are used in all of my interview pieces, so that people can speak freely, no matter what the topic may be.*
“Some women aren’t gonna like this but, Black can crack. I see it often; especially when I look at a lot of these women’s necks — even celebrities. You can look like you’re 29 in the face but because you didn’t take care of your neck when you were in your 20s, it’s out here looking like it should be in a nursing home. That part of your skin ages and sags like everything else. I wish I had cared about that back in the day. I do now and yes young women, moisturize your neck every night and every morning. I personally use a combination of rosehip oil and lavender because they help to stimulate collagen production. Don’t wait until you have tree rings. Do it…now.”
“I wish I had taken better care of my breasts. Not [just] as far as my health; as far as their appearance. When you’re in your 20s, everything is perky and unicorns. Hit 35 and you start to notice that your girls like your feet more than your neck. Doing some exercises to make your pecs more prominent and applying some cocoa or shea butter every night are little things that can keep them youthful. Don’t wait. A breast lift is an option but those aren’t cheap. And if you can avoid paying what a used car costs to keep your breasts sittin’ high, why not do that now?”
“It might sound weird but I wish I had laid off of my protective styles more. It’s like we’ve forgotten that the point of them is to grow our hair out but that can’t happen if we’re never giving our hair a break from all of the tension that comes from tight-ass braids and twists. Now my edges are suffering and that can make you look older than you are. Those ‘Brandy braids’ are cute, girl, but so is having a full hairline. Don’t live in a protective style — your future self is screaming this at you.”
“I wish I drank less. I had a good time, trust me. But drinking on the weekends and then having drinks a couple of nights a week after work took its toll. My skin feels drier and it takes more work to keep it moisturized. These days, [I] eat edibles instead. It’s healthier and it has compounds in it that can slow down the aging process. Oh, to be young again.”
“I wish I had incorporated some sort of hand care. If anything takes wear and tear on a constant basis, it’s our hands and we’ll be out here having a beauty regimen for everything but those. Now my hands are starting to look older than I would like and so I’m having to work overtime to get rid of some fine lines and fragile-looking skin. What I do is get hand facials every couple of months. Look to see what spas or salons offer them. It makes a really big difference on your hands. Your arms too.”
“I’m the most comfortable sleeping on my side but it’s not the best for my face — anyone’s face, really. I used to hear that it would cause wrinkles but when those aren’t something that you have to worry about, you don’t care. I’m starting to see a few around my lips and so now I’m on my back more often. I’m thinking that if I had cared about this in college, avoiding wrinkles would not be on my list of concerns at this age.”
“Stay off of acidic drinks. Your teeth will age just like everything else and sodas and orange juice doesn’t help. Think about the people you know who look one way…until they smile. Then they look 10-15 years older. Go to the dentist regularly and schedule a professional whitening appointment. White teeth make you look younger. Just take good care of them. You’ll be glad that you did, if you do.”
Jaye. 44.“Gray hair is a blessing but my grandmother always told me that it can come in prematurely — and a part of what causes that to happen is stress and a poor diet. When you’re young, you don’t care about stuff like that. But let those first ones creep in around your hairline and suddenly, you’re looking for all kinds of hacks. My advice? That man, that job, and that relative that is already making you want to pull your hair out? Let them go. Your hair can’t take it. And all of that junk food you’re consuming? I still hit a drive-thru but these days, it’s more like a couple of times a month instead of during every lunch break.”
“Get your legs waxed. All of that razor shaving can cause discoloration or leave razor marks that can make your skin look older over time. Plus, it creates ingrown hairs and something about those can make you look older too.”
“Stop not taking sleep seriously. When you’re 25, you can go on four hours of sleep for days on end but it catches up to you. Sleep is what rejuvenates you and if you don’t get it, eventually you will look like it. I have dark circles that I’ve been trying to get rid of and a part of it is due to years of no sleep catching up to me. Whatever it is, it can wait until you’ve had at least seven hours. Don’t listen if you don’t want to. One day you will look in the mirror and wish that you did.”
“I wish I had spent more time outdoors. It’s no secret that Black people have more of a vitamin D deficiency than anyone else but trying to pile up on supplements when you’re older is a lot. When you’re at restaurants, eat on the patio. Sit on your back deck to read a book. Go for a walk in the mornings. I’m dealing with some hair loss stuff right now and it’s partly because I need more vitamin D. And thinning hair makes you look older than you should.”
“Waist trainers are bad for you. I wish those damn things would go away. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get that a snatched waist can take a few years off. Hell, I know that I took mine for granted back in my 20s. Snack on bananas and berries. Do some cardio even if that’s power walking through the mall. Stop drinking cold stuff so much. It might sound like a mama’s tale, but drinking things at room temperature reduces bloating. There are other things that you can do to get the curves that you want without smashing your organs. Lord.”
“I wish I cared more about my damn arms. Nothing makes you look older quicker than your upper arms not being in good shape. Get some five-pound free weights and set aside 15 minutes. Dry brush those bad boys; it’ll keep dimples from showing up. Keep them extra moisturized, so that those annoying little bumps won’t show up. And use sunscreen. The sun doesn’t know if you’re Black or not. It comes for us too.”
“Have a professional care for your skin. There are a billion things that you can do at home but an aesthetician is trained to figure out what works best and what doesn’t. Facials, microdermabrasion, and chemical peels from time to time have all played a role in me starting to look younger. If I had taken preventative measures, it would’ve kept some money in my pocket because I wouldn’t be going quite as much as I do now.”
“I wish I had been more choosy about my sex partners so that I could’ve had wilder sex. Listen to Auntie here. There is some stuff that good sex will do for you and aging that no cosmetic can. Sweat out those toxins. Work out that core. Take in some of that sperm. Just do it with a man you can trust and you can be totally free with instead of these knuckleheads. Yeah, better mate selection is the beauty tip that I recommend — and stop acting like it’s a rite of passage to start this at 35. Get a good man now and sit down somewhere. So that you can lay down in peace. That’s what I’ve got for you.”
Pass the plate around for Payce, y’all. As far as beauty and maturity go, she just preached — to women of ALL ages! Amen? Amen.
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