For some time now, the Human Design (HD) System has been picking up mainstream traction! And like so many other explorative journeys, the concept of Human Design took off via social media. Similar to Astrology, Human Design requires your birth time and date, and it also provides a map of sorts to help you navigate this world with purpose while being uniquely you (and tapping into your purpose). In fact, if you desire, the information can work simultaneously with Astrology.
The Human Design System is comprised of four different archetypes: Manifestors, Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors. And the first step is figuring out which archetype you fall under, which you can do here. In order to get a better understanding of what Human Design is, we spoke with Human Design experts and hosts of DayLuna Human Design Podcast, Dana Stiles and Shayna Cornelius. Because I’m certain there will be burning questions surrounding love and HD, the DayLuna co-creators also share the best way to use the concept to deepen our romantic connections.
So, how can this information help you connect more intimately with your partners? Well, as excited as we are to share, we should begin by giving you an expert definition of Human Design and go from there.
What is Human Design?
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Though some refer to Human Design as ‘the new Astrology,’ Dana and Shayna expound on the definition, explaining, “Human Design is the science of differentiation. It is a modality that shows us how we are uniquely designed, how we are meant to use our energy in a different way than other people, and what our unique gifts and life purpose is.”
Furthermore, the co-creators add that it “pinpoints the way in which our energy flows as an individual while offering strategies and insight on how to use our energy correctly so that we can find personal alignment as we live our unique life purpose.”
The composition or roots of HD are a combination, utilizing ancient and modern sciences. “It synthesizes wisdom from the Chinese I-Ching, Western Astrology, Hindu Chakra System, and the Kabbalah Tree of Life and integrates this wisdom with Genetics, Quantum Mechanics, Astronomy, and Biochemistry,” they add.
How Human Design Works Similar To and With Astrology
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Earlier we discussed very briefly that there are similarities between Human Design and Astrology and that the two could even be paired together. Dana and Shayna highlight this similarity further by saying, “Like Astrology, Human Design can tell you about your personality and how you operate, however, it is much more specific and detailed because it breaks each zodiac archetype down into smaller traits, which you may or may not have depending on your chart.”
They continue, “Understanding what your Human Design gifts are in these placements along with your own North and South Node zodiac placement is powerful in understanding your life purpose!” Our life purpose is something so many of us are in constant search of, which is why we even find ourselves drawn to religion, Astrology, or Human Design to begin with.
As humans, we are constantly in search of something “more” that informs us of why we were placed on this planet. And we do this to initiate and cultivate day-to-day guidance on the way to finding answers to our questions.
Human Design + You, Me & Intimacy
Getty ImagesNow that we know how Human Design can help us connect more deeply with ourselves, how does HD help us flourish in our external relationships? In a nutshell, the answer is self-love but with HD we can get more specific about what that looks like…thankfully. If you’ve ever been told to love yourself as the solution to finding romantic love, you know how batshit crazy the standalone advice without any guidance can be. But because HD goes in-depth, it can help you get to the bottom of what that may look like for you and how to best honor that.
When discussing the best way to elevate relationships using HD, Dana and Shayna pointed out that “understanding yourself, how you best operate, and how you are interacting with other people around you is so important when it comes to conscious relationships. Awareness always has to start with yourself. When you fully understand yourself and what alignment looks like for you, you can then understand others and release judgment and comparison.”
“This leads to more self-love and love for others. If you are struggling in a relationship, we invite you to get clear on who you are and how you best make decisions that are energetically correct for you (your HD chart can show you how) and then start making decisions within your relationship in this new way! This is the fastest way to transform any relationship in your life and even attract your dream partner.”
HD works by helping you to honor yourself first or so it seems. The one place that it differs from how we (mainstream culture not to be confused with experts) have begun to discuss Astrology is that no archetype is to be villainized. That said, there is no such thing as dating the wrong HD profile. According to our experts, you simply learn what and who feels in alignment with you, your truth, and your journey.
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“There are no Human Design charts that are better or worse when it comes to pairing/partnership. Human Design teaches you how to become your own authority in life and how to feel when something is in alignment with you or not. You then can make your own decision on if someone is right for you or not and trust that the truth you are feeling is energetically correct for you. Understanding your partner's chart is huge in understanding how you are both different/similar to each other. The best way to navigate any obstacle will become crystal-clear with this awareness.”
Additionally, the expert co-founders shared that there are three types of “connections” that you may stumble upon “depending on your charts”:
- Electromagnetic spark connection: You feel the chemistry when you are together, fireworks, and a sense of the feeling of "you complete me."
- Friendship connection: You have a lot of similarities in your charts and you feel a sense of "you get me."
- Dominating connection: One person leads in this area and the other follows and that feels good for both of you.
The two add that this just scratches the surface of how you may be connecting with your partner as you may have a combination of all three.
According to the experts, similar to humans, Human Design is complex and therefore deeply profound when you discover yourself through this system. As much as we seek out love, every piece of wisdom left behind for us indicates that the work begins and ends with us. By no means is this saying you must be healed and whole before you find love, but that you must be aware and have insight into yourself to even begin to know what you’re looking for when it comes to love.
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So, today? Today, we’re going to tackle how sex impacts us when it comes to our energy fields. What (mostly) inspired this is once reading a science-based article about how it is a fact and not a myth that just like plants can absorb energy from other plants, humans can do the same thing by being in the space of other human beings. And when you stop to really think about it, doesn’t that make all of the sense in the world?
Otherwise, there wouldn’t be terms out here like “peer pressure” and big grown folks wouldn’t be out here trying to look and act just like some of their favorite celebrities or IG influencers (and yet, on that point, I digress).
So, since energy impacts us in some pretty significant ways, let’s take a few moments to see how it goes down when it comes to copulation — just so that you’re (even more) aware of what you’re getting yourself into when you “do the do,” as far as your personal energy space is concerned.
Energy. Revisited.
GiphyOkay, so before we get all up in how energy is exchanged during sexual activity, what is energy as it relates to human beings, in general? Well, in some ways, it all depends on who you ask. For instance, the famed Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that energy is about having the capacity to do something. Some medical experts say that energy is all about how something impacts you on a mental or physical level.
For instance, negative energy tends to be very heavy and draining while positive energy can increase feel-good chemicals throughout your system which makes it easier for you to do things like be creative and problem-solve. Something else that I think is important to keep in mind as far as human energy goes is it’s impacted by a myriad of things including a person’s stress levels, how healthy a person is, what their life choices are (as far as how their decisions influence them) and even what their sleep patterns are like.
And if all of this is true, then something else that Aristotle once said about energy would be beyond accurate: “The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
Energy is life. Whew, so if this is indeed the case, does this mean that when you choose to have sex with someone, you are sharing your life force — whatever state that may be — with someone as they are doing the same to/for/with you? YES.
What Does It Mean to Exchange Sexual Energy?
GiphySince I grew up in an entertainment industry household, I think that’s probably why I’ve ended up with some close friends who are in the industry as well. That said, I will never forget when I was talking to one of them one day about a particular artist. When I expressed how much sex appeal that she had, my (male) friend simply said, “Yeah, I’ve been in her presence a few times before. She has some really dark energy. I didn’t even hug her.”
Now from a scientific standpoint, dark energy is simply what causes the universe to accelerate in growth over a certain period of time; however, when a person is described to have dark energy, that usually means that they have an evil and/or negative and/or heavy and/or draining aura about them. And y’all, here’s what’s semi-wild about what he said: did you know that science backs that hugs do indeed transfer energy?
Yep, research reveals that a hug from someone can literally alter your brain and body chemistry — so you definitely need to be discerning about who you let up into your affection space. Straight up. And so, since a hug has the capacity to do that, how much more can SEX?
To further emphasize this, let’s begin with an article that I read on Healthline’s website entitled, “Do We Really Exchange Energy During Sex?” After checking it out, one of the main things that I appreciated was when a doctor who was interviewed for the piece said:
“Every sex act is an exchange of energy [because] every sexual act raises or lowers your energy level…Therefore, a sexual relationship isn’t a purely psychological or physiological, mechanical act…Rather, it’s an energetic action. When we have an intimate relationship with someone, the two energies merge.”
Okay, so according to science, when two people have sex, energies merge. Well, according to Scripture, when two people have sex, oneness transpires (Genesis 2:24-25). Let’s keep going.
There was once a Physician-scientist by the name of Wilhelm Reich (who actually died in prison, in part, because of his radical beliefs on sex and orgasms during his time), who once said that having a healthy sex life (which, to him, including orgasms and is what he referred to as “orgastic potency”) is what played a huge role in one’s emotional health and well-being. That’s because, to him, without the release of sexual energy, neurological disorders would be come to be.
My takeaway from this is when you think about the fact that things like serotonin, dopamine, and the “the bonding chemical” oxytocin are all released during sex (and most certainly during orgasms), and also since sex (and orgasms) reduce stress — you need to tend to your sexual energy for the sake of your holistic health. Let’s continue on.
After reading an article on sexual energy on Cosmo’s website in which one of the sex therapists said that “our sexuality is our power" and then reading an article on the same topic on Well + Good’s platform where another expert stated that, “Many belief systems believe sexual energy is an expression of the soul's connection to the cosmos and the rest of the universe”, I thought about the word “power” and then “soul connection.”
At the end of the day, power isn’t just ability but the capability to influence and even take authority over something or someone. And a soul connection? Several years ago, when I penned a piece for the platform entitled, “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” one of the things that I made sure to emphasize is your soul IS also your life. This means that soul connections are life connections.
And so, it would appear that sharing sexual energy also means that you are making a life connection with someone. And that type of connection has the power to influence you in ways that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. That is how deep exchanging sexual energy is.
What You Should Always Keep in Mind Before Sharing Sexual Energy with Someone Else
GiphyNow are there degrees to this whole sexual energy thing? Of course. The type of connection that a husband and wife of 20 years can make via sex is very different than a one-night stand. However, it would appear that science believes that it doesn’t really matter what you tell yourself about sex with someone (or even how many condoms you may use during sex) — potent energy is exchanged regardless.
That’s a huge part of the reason why I will forever roll my eyes about how ridiculous “casual sex” sounds to me, because, although I do believe that it is very possible to engage in coitus that has no real purpose (casual is purposeless, by definition), what isn’t possible is for there not to be a significant connection made from a scientific standpoint. Because again, if a mere hug can alter you (shoot, a handshake too), do you really think that allowing a man’s penis into the sacred space known as your vagina will not? After reading all of this…do you really?
When it comes to energy, author T. Harv Eker once said, “Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” With all that was just shared about sexual energy, each and every person you choose to “engage” with, they are either going to affect you or infect you — just with their energy alone.
Knowing this, if there was ever a time to choose wisely, this would be it.
Your energy is your power. Who you exchange power with? CHOOSE WISELY.
EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.
And because energy can shift…be cognizant of what you’re doing…EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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