To hear in 2021, a time where existence has been going on for millions of years, that someone is the first Black anything, is almost mind-blowing, but it definitely is still something that happens. And frequently, actually. Thankfully, this label has re-emerged with one of our dear faves, a woman way beyond her time who is everything we love to see in a modern woman, Ms. Teyana TF Taylor.
That's right, she has been named as Maxim's 'Sexiest Woman Alive' in their 2021 Women of Influence issue. The publication took to social media to share the news, showing off Teyana Taylor's infamously insane physique and chiseled facial expressions and abs in tow. Additionally, the cover is accompanied by a full interview with Teyana, as the muse took a moment to marvel at her own damn self and share the backstory of how the organic cover happened. She wrote on IG:
"Somebody pinch me!!!! Maxim Hot 100 to be named the 'Sexiest Woman alive' by literally living in the skin I'm in. WOW....Stepping back in front of the lens has been a journey of self-reflection and self-confidence. Living up to name and title of this shoot wholeheartedly made me nervous."
"This particular day was dope because it made me see another side of myself. I had just dropped JUNIE off at school before heading straight to the shoot; sweatpants a beanie and an army jacket. My hair wasn't done for a "shoot" because I planned on throwing on a wig & I didn't have on any make up. But when I got there the legendary @Gilles_bensimon said and I quote…. "Let's shoot! I want you to stay in this…" Um I guess...." as confused as I was my heart also melted..."
Taylor then goes on to give advice to the ladies in the most 'Teyana Taylor way', by quoting Hepburn and simply saying:
"Embrace and love yourselves for who and what you are because only the purest heart shines through."
And what's amazing about her latest job title isn't that she was named as such, because I mean, look at her. But instead, the celebration for me is that this news is released during a time where she has felt so underappreciated in an industry she has given so much to. Taylor infamously retired from music at the end of 2020, announcing that she was over it all. She then backed up her decision on an episode of Cam Newton's BET series Sip 'N Smoke, telling him:
"Everybody that I'm aligned with should see me. They should hear me. They should feel me. I felt like the label wasn't really hearing me and seeing me. I felt underappreciated. So, for my mental health, my mental well-being, for my kids, let me just put this on ice for a little [bit]. It's not that I retired permanently. It's more like, I just don't feel like I want to move another inch for a company."
Thankfully, sis isn't going anywhere anytime soon and even touches on a few of her upcoming projects, including the viral exchange between her and Auntie Dionne Warwick about her biopic. She also discusses her role in Coming 2 America, her director alter ego, Spike Tey, and showing off her family life in an upcoming E! reality television show premiering this fall called, We Got Love Teyana & Iman.
We can't think of anyone more deserving of the flowers coming her way so to this cover, we say 'thank you' to Maxim for telling the world what so many of us already knew. Congrats, Teyana!
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
As Tracee Ellis Ross preps for her 50th birthday on October 29, the black-ish star is reflecting on the many things she’s learned along the way. One of those things is “wander, ponder, be,” which she uses to help her write speeches. During her interview with Hoda & Jenna, the beloved comedic actress gave insight into what those three words actually mean and how she applies them to her life. “I started figuring out the wander, ponder, be’s whenever I was writing a speech. Because in order to write a speech you just sort of have something come in from the inside,” she explained.
If it’s one thing that the Golden Globe winner is known for outside of acting, it’s her gift of gab. From her hilarious skits on social media to her energetic conversations in interviews, Tracee has always known how to use her voice and it also shines through in her speeches. Her speech during the 2017 Glamour's Women of the Year Summit went viral after she spoke against women’s accomplishments being diminished due to them not being married and/ or starting a family. It appears we have Tracee’s 'wander, ponder, and be' strategy to thank for that.
“I really needed time to wander, ponder, be and social media does not allow it,” she continued. “Because you take all your downtime so I like to give myself a chance to wander, to not know where I’m going but just wander, have time to just ponder, and just kinda play in the imagination of my mind and to be.”
She added, “And my favorite part of my life is my life like making food, and like going to the market and being in my life.”
While she isn’t shy about using her voice to speak on matters of the world, there is one thing she struggled to use her voice for—singing. Tracee shared that she always wanted to sing but was “too terrified” to follow in her mother, the great Diana Ross’, footsteps. She finally faced that fear after starring in the film The High Notewhere she plays a singer. But she recently realized that not using her gift of singing was only holding her back from creating new experiences in her life.
“What was interesting was as I was learning how to sing…I felt like I opened lifeways, not pathways but lifeways,” she said. “Not that I was necessarily meant to be a singer, but by cutting off that part of myself just because I was afraid, I had closed off certain doors to part of my identity and myself, and so things just started to open up when I found my voice.”
In need of a little motivation? Keep reading for 9 more noteworthy gems about life that Tracee has dropped over the years.
Tracee Ellis Ross on the Advice That’s Guided Her Through Life:
"There are two things that have been the biggest guides through my life. The first one is: Follow your heart and trust your instincts. The second is: What other people think is none of your business and even sometimes what you think of yourself is none of your business. Sometimes it’s about staying in action as opposed to trying to decide how to make people think a certain way about you." - via WSJ
On Lessons She Has Learned as an Entrepreneur:
"One is to trust my instincts. Two is, there’s so much more involved than I ever had any idea of—and I knew there was a lot involved. The biggest lessons have been around the consistency of relationships and communication with retail partners and also my team…. Because it is an hourly thing, particularly right now during the supply-chain issues that are going on. And then the last thing is, you don’t need a degree in CEO-dom or entrepreneurship in order to run a successful company. You need to surround yourself with very informed and excellent people and remain teachable without losing focus on your vision." - via WSJ
On Finding Meaning in Life:
"I feel that to a certain extent, we are the first generation of choice for women, who have had the opportunity to actually choose the lives they want to live…. The cultural expectation for women that they are meant to be mothers and married and that that is almost what makes their lives valid creates a scenario that I push up against in general. There's many places where that happens in our culture that I think are very limiting for women in terms of finding meaning in their own lives." - via Good Housekeeping
On Showing Her Full Self on Social Media:
“One of the reasons that I share so much on social media is that I recently turned 49. At this age, self-care, self-love, joy and drinking plenty of water are what keep your body strong. I love posting about this because it gives you the full picture of who I am. I’m not always the perfect Tracee on the red carpet. That’s not how I wake up. Various other things are needed for that.” via Elle Canada
Rich Fury/VF22/Getty Images for Vanity Fair
On Living Life on Her Own Terms:
"I didn’t see enough examples of different versions of how a woman can find happiness and joy and power and sensuality, sexuality, all of that, without it being through the lens of how I’m seen by a man. People are like, 'You’re the poster child for being single.' And I was like, 'Great.' But what I would prefer is that I’m the poster child for living my life on my terms. And that there’s a version of that for everyone.
"I don’t live my life for other people. I just totally live it for me. This is something that has really solidified itself into an unbreakable, unshakable foundation in the last four or five years." via Harper's Bazaar
On the Power of Her Womanhood:
"There's a power I started to feel when I began to call myself a woman that I wasn't tapped into as a younger girl. I've witnessed it in friends of mine and in people I don't know. It's the power that generates from this idea that our bodies can create life—even though not every woman creates life. It's a woman's ability to look at life a certain way, to create in a certain way, to be of service in a certain way, to care in a certain way." - via Glamour
On Detaching Herself From the Opinions of Others:
"What other people think about me is none of my business. Sometimes even what I think about myself is not my business. Opinions are like assholes: We’ve all got them. What I know is that I wake up every day trying to do my best. I know that my heart and my intention is in the right place. And if somebody points something out to me that I actually think is constructive and loving and I agree and I need to take accountability for it, I can do that. My selfhood and my sense of self can withstand appropriate criticism." via The Cut
On Finding Support in Dark Moments:
"The key is you ask yourself, What do I need right now? I’ve cultivated a relationship with myself where I know I have choices…. I have a toolbox of ways I can find support; journaling is helpful, or meditation. And I have had to really make friends with loneliness. And know the difference between choice-ful solitude and lonely. [I find comfort in] being able to name it, to say I’m feeling lonely, then to have a tribe of people I feel safe enough with to share: This is how I feel.
"I don’t have the luxury of not going to work when I don’t feel up to it. Most people don’t. On those days, I acknowledge I am feeling f-cking crappy, and I’m not at my best, and I still want to or need to keep walking forward. I have to do some of my best work on my worst days. I have to look pretty even when I don’t feel pretty. There’s a way to hold both things." - via Glamour
On How She Owns Her Own Narrative:
"By not letting other people’s ideas of me change my idea of myself. It means holding my own counsel and navigating my life on my compass, which is about my relationship with higher power, my relationship with those I trust and love." via The Cut
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My first job was working as a floral assistant and cashier at a local flower shop. It was quite rewarding, engaging with consumers as they picked up bouquets and arrangements for various occasions. I kept that job for a year before transitioning into a completely different industry. From then up to today, I’ve had over 20-something jobs. Now, I know what you may be thinking: “How have you been able to have so many jobs and bypass the flood of questions that come with job hopping?”
Much of job hopping appropriately requires a clear strategy and understanding of what you are hoping to achieve. Leaving an organization preemptively because you are underpaid, undervalued, or treated poorly is a justifiable reason to job hop. Leaving an organization because you feel you have capped on growth opportunities, even if it's sooner than expected, is a justifiable reason to job hop.
You shouldn’t, however, job hop if you aren’t clear on the fundamentals of your job function. For example, leaving your well-paying role as Project Manager after four months because a TikTok video made you feel you could make more money elsewhere is not a good idea if you are still new to the responsibilities of a Project Manager.
There is a right and wrong way to job hop. To keep things easy as you navigate your corporate journey, here are the general steps you should follow:
Is Job Hopping Bad?? No, not inherently. BUT there is a right and wrong way to do it. If you have no idea what you are doing and just job hop to make more money, it will eventually catch up with you and somoone will without a doubt call you out on it. This could make it harder for you to get jobs in the future. The best practice for job hopping is to leave a role once you have mastered it. #corporatelife #corporatetiktok #corporateamerica #jobhopping #jobhopper #jobhop #howtojobhop
Step 1: Stick to the rule of 6 months for entry-level and 18 months for mid-level roles.
Entry-level jobs (0-2 years of experience) are not as challenging as corporations make them out to be. Depending on the industry, responsibilities for early career roles can be mastered in under one year as they tend to be more supporting roles than project-owning roles. Some people may even master their responsibilities within 3 to 6 months. Whether your reasoning is to make more money or have a higher title, you should start looking for new opportunities around the 6-month mark.
Mid-senior level roles are a little different as you’re more likely to own projects from inception to completion. It’s better to remain in these roles until a project completes which spans, on average, from 12 to 18 months. If you leave too many mid-senior roles after 6 months or so, future employers will question or ability to see a projection through completion. It will be a challenge for them to invest in you when you have not shown your ability to invest in a company project.
After this allotted amount of time, you should start to explore other opportunities for higher pay and/or a higher title. Another reason to remain in mid-senior roles for 12 to 18 months is to ensure at least a fraction of your equity vests if you are awarded any at the time of accepting your job offer.
10'000 Hours/Getty Images
Step 2: Leave the job after you have mastered the role.
As mentioned above, it’s important to put a 'skill frame' on your job opportunities as opposed to a 'time frame.' The 6-month and 18-month rule in the first step is in regard to the minimum amount of time you should spend in a role. Many people will remain in a job, that does not serve them, for 5, 10, or even 15 years. They have mastered their role and won’t leave because they don’t think they have spent enough time with their organization.
To be frank, your allotted amount of time means nothing if you’re not growing. The reason a professional with 4 years of experience gets the role over the professional with 10 years of experience is that the person with 4 years (the job hopper) had robust experience. They left jobs that stunted their growth and matriculated into roles that diversified their skill set. Meanwhile, the person with 10 years of experience can only serve future employers in limited capacity. They lack a diverse skill set due to their stagnancy.
Inside Creative House/Getty Images
Step 3: Address your “job hopping” when transitioning to new roles.
When you are interviewing for a new role, and they ask you why you left company a, b, and c, each after 1 year you explain that: (1) you outgrew your role and felt it was time to transition into a more challenging position or (2) you would have loved to continue growing with your previous organization(s), however, there were no opportunities for growth and no transparency as to when such opportunities may become available.
If you are wanting to job hop but fear what companies may say, don’t. I promise you, a good company will care less about the amount of time you spent and more about what you can bring to the table. Good companies will understand that leaving a toxic work environment or a place that stunts you professionally is a viable reason to job hop. Don’t let a company, recruiter, or colleague guilt you into staying in a role or at a company you’re not pleased with.
A recruiter once told me, “You’re going to ruin your career. You can’t just go hopping from job to job thinking companies will still hire you.” August 2022 marked my 9th year working within the pharmaceutical industry. I am gainfully employed, and content with my current employer. I turned out okay and you will too.
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Featured image by JLco - Julia Amaral/Getty Images
I am not a casual sex type of person. I love dick but I love an emotional connection more. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried it once or twice but ultimately sex is better when I have a connection–the penis just feels better. However, pop culture would have you believe that when you meet someone, it’s automatic lust at first sight. You’re supposed to not be able to keep your hands off of each other due to all the sexual tension. Well in reality, especially in my life, that’s not how it works. I need a little more than physical attraction to get my juices flowing.
As a sex expert, I’ve found that most women, more often than not need a connection before penetration. It’s just how we are hardwired. The sexual response cycle for men and women is totally different. Generally, before a woman can get aroused, she has to experience desire. For most men, all it takes is a little visual stimulation, and boom. In fact, most men don’t need to feel an emotional connection at all in order to have sex; all they need is a warm hole. Do with that information what you will. But, women on the other hand tend to feel sexual desire once the emotional connection is formed.
Building an emotional connection can lead to better sexual experiences. Emotional intimacy helps stimulate oxytocin, the love hormone, which creates trust and vulnerability. A study published in American Sociological Review found that heterosexual college women have orgasms more often in relationships than in hookups. Most women value safety, in all aspects of their lives. When I feel safe and comfortable with someone, I’m more likely to take risks and explore new things. I'm also more willing to share my inner thoughts, desires, and fantasies within a safe space.
Knowing one another on an emotional level can help build mutual respect. Having mutual respect means you value your partner and consider their thoughts and feelings. Being shown respect l builds appreciation and appreciation builds connection. It’s important to keep in mind that building emotional intimacy takes time and work.
Being vulnerable can be scary and uncomfortable. But here are some helpful tips you can use to help deepen the bond with your partner while making it less awkward.
1.Open and Honest Communication To Build Trust
Communication is the key to all levels of intimacy. Most women like to communicate, especially about feelings. Sharing about each other’s day and about what’s happening in each other’s life helps women feel more emotionally connected. Try having a conversation before sex. If you want to relate to each other on a deeper level, you'll need to open up and let your partner experience your hopes, fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities.
Also, pillow talk sessions are a great way to build emotional connections after sex. Researchers found that people who spend more time on post-sex affection—like cuddling, kissing, caressing, spooning, or expressing their love for each other—are more satisfied in their relationships and feel more sexually satisfied.
2.Learn Each Other's Love Language
Gary Chapman the author of the popular book, The 5 Love Languages came up with five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love. The five ways we experience love are through Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Oftentimes we assume that our partner wants to receive love in the same way that we do, and this can lead to frustration and disappointment.
If your partner’s love language is quality time but you are too busy working and keep buying them expensive gifts instead, they aren’t going to feel connected to you. Learning how our partner receives love builds connection.
3.Kisses, Kisses and More Kisses
A 2013 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior reported that frequent kissing is correlated with a couple’s perception of the quality of their relationship and specifically, the more kissing there is, the higher levels of happiness that are reported. Kissing usually is the first thing to take place before engaging in other sexual activity. It helps you decide your sexual compatibility and desire for this person before sex and gives you more time to build up that sexual anticipation.
However, kissing can start fading the longer a relationship goes. One study found that 1 in 5 couples don’t even kiss at all. So, try to incorporate kissing throughout the day and during sex as a way to build a connection.
4.Explore Sensuality Without the Goal of Orgasm
Take time to explore each other’s bodies and fantasies without orgasm being the only goal. By taking your time, you will learn to appreciate each other more on both an emotional and physical level. Good communication will come in handy when discussing what ways you like to engage in foreplay and what ways don’t get you as turned on. Think about and enjoy what you are experiencing and how you might give pleasure to your partner in return.
5.Be Friends First
Friendship is at the core of any strong relationship. Research has shown that friendship in a relationship is an important indicator of both romantic and physical satisfaction. Couples who are friends report higher levels of happiness in their relationships than couples who aren’t. Get back to being friends by having fun and being playful. Having fun can be as simple as laughing at each other's jokes or leaving each other silly notes.
6.Share Experiences
Doing things…together…is important. Even if it’s just binging on Netflix next to each other on the couch, have shared experiences in your week. Whatever it is that you and your partner like to do, do it together as a simple way to build a stronger connection in a relationship. If you live completely separate lives you’re not going to be very connected with each other. Shared experiences bring partners closer.
7.Show Empathy and Sympathy
One of the most important things partners can do for each other provides empathy and understanding. Empathy means relating to your partner's feelings and making them feel understood, which helps validate your partner's feelings and gives comfort. When things are tough, expressing empathy or sympathy helps your partner understand how valuable the bond is that they share with you. They learn to appreciate your feelings and often reciprocate too.
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Emmy award-winner Quinta Brunson is keeping busy thanks to her popular ABC sitcom Abbott Elementary. And so her schedule requires her to wake up around 5 a.m. for work which may vary from going to set to promo runs. Quinta gave her fans a peek at her morning routine with Elle Magazine’s series Waking Up With.
Elle/YouTube
Face
“Getting ready in the morning for me means getting ready at night,” the actress started. Quinta, the new face of Olay Retinol collection, uses their products at night, including eye cream, serum, and moisturizer. When she wakes up in the morning, she washes her face with water as she says cleansers dry out her skin. Instead, she goes right into her moisturizers. This time using Olay’s Vitamin C + Peptide 24 collection.
Elle/YouTube
Hair
“Depending on how my hair is, I’ll move to the Bread hair oil,” she said. “I like to put it on. It feels like a really good coat over my hair. I think that Bread was specifically designed for curly and kinky hair.” She also gave a nod to the Bread curling cream as one of the best curl-defining creams on the market.
Elle/YouTube
Body
She moisturizes the rest of her body with the Brazilian Bum Bum cream. “I love a good lotion. I live in L.A. and it’s dry out here and my skin is constantly craving hydration like the moment I get out of the shower, I have to hydrate my skin immediately.”
Elle/YouTube
Makeup
The 32-year-old likes to keep her makeup simple and starts her routine with Benefit brow gel as a way to tame her “unruly brows.” Next is mascara and her go-to is Pat McGrath Labs. “Mascara makes me feel like I put on a full face of makeup even if I didn’t,” she said. “It just enhances my eyes, like I put some effort in. My whole thing is trying to make people think I put a whole lot of effort in when I really did not.”
Sometimes Quinta likes to pair Anatasia’s brow pencil with Benefit brow gel to give her brows more definition. Lip gloss is another staple for the former social media sensation as well as Marc Jacobs Daisy perfume.
“I don’t like a lot of color on my lips. I think it’s just too much for my face but what I do like is something that’s a little bit of enhancement to my natural lip color and that as you can see is this Pat McGrath lip gloss,” she explained.
As a finishing touch, she uses Mally Beauty Evercolor Poreless Face Defender primer powder.
Elle/YouTube
Work Prep
Once she completes her beauty and skin routine, the actress makes coffee while she does her morning stretches. Once her coffee is ready, she checks her emails. “I try to handle as many emails as I can before I go to work because once I get to work it’s nothing but work,” she said.
Quinta Brunson Swears By Hotel Coffee & Morning Stretches | Waking Up With | ELLE
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La La Anthony knows all too well how important having a self-care routine is and it’s all thanks to her bestie Kelly Rowland. The BMF actress has always been admired for her beauty but that doesn’t mean she took the time to invest in her skincare routine. Not until she became friends with the “Coffee” singer.
"She's obsessed with skincare and making sure all of us take care of our skin and our bodies,” La La said of Kelly in an interview with PEOPLE. “She's always sending tips on what to do. So if you're friends with her, she's going to make sure your skin is on point – no matter what. She's all about taking care of yourself and doing things to continue to nourish mind, body and soul. So when I have questions or need advice when it comes to those things, she's definitely who I call."
While she has become "more conscious of taking care of my skin and doing a daily and nightly routine," it’s more than that for the mother of one.
"You only get one face – you don't want to mess it up!"
She continued, "You want to look your best so you can feel your best, whatever that is. It's important to take care of yourself so that you can perform in whatever you're doing at the highest level."
Self-care is important to the 40-year-old actress especially after experiencing a health scare last year. In an August 2021 interview with SELF magazine, La La revealed that she was rushed to the hospital after her heart began racing and she was feeling lightheaded. She ended up having emergency heart surgery performed.
"There were a lot of scary moments,” she said. “They would wake me up during the procedure and say, ‘We’re going to speed your heart up now…. Just take deep breaths. Those doctors were just so incredible [...] But it was a terrifying experience.”
In 2019, the former MTV VJ was diagnosed with premature ventricular contractions (PVCs), which are extra heartbeats that cause an abnormal heartbeat. The health scare taught her to listen to her body and take better care of herself.
“This made me reprioritize myself because it’s always about everyone else and work and this and that,” Anthony says. “And it’s like, if I’m not good, I’m not gonna be good for anyone.”
Those same sentiments are echoed in her recent PEOPLE interview. She encouraged everyone to enjoy life but also take time for themselves whenever life gets to be too much.
"We're reminded constantly how life is short so it's important to feel good and enjoy it while we're living it," she said. "Otherwise, you're just running, running, running until you eventually just run yourself in the ground – no one wants to get to that point."
Featured image by Daniele Venturelli/Getty Images for Fendi
