Over the weekend, darling couple, Saweetie and Quavo set the internet on fire when they (she) announced that they had broken up.
And celebrities break up every day, b. But in this case, it’s more so about how publicly it happened.
Saweetie took to social media to announce the “news" after much speculation. She went on to say:
“I emotionally checked out a long time ago and have walked away with a deep sense of peace and freedom. Excited for this new chapter of elevation."
Sidebar: That's some unapologetic shit right there, love to see it.
Anyway, Quavo went on to basically blame her for her calling out his infidelity (make it make sense). To which she responded with a tweet that traveled around the world:
Twitter
Ouch.
But for me, all this isn't about the fact that they decided to split, or how publicly it was done. It's about the gems our girl dropped when doing so—specifically:
“Presents don't band aid scars."
I felt that. You felt that.
Since the beginning of their relationship, Saweetie has bragged on the extravagant lifestyle that she has, including the gifts that Quavo has given to her. For Christmas, he gave her a custom Bentley to match her brand, and a few months prior, she said on IG Live:
"If he not getting you a Birkin, if he not paying for your bills, then throw that n**** back to the streets, OK?"
She later clarified her comments saying:
"Well, you know, one thing that people have to realize is I'm an entertainer and I come to entertain. So that was an entertaining comment. Like Jay-Z says at the end of 'Ignorant Shit,' he goes, 'It's only entertainment,' and then he does this little evil laugh. I was having a good time promoting [her single] 'Back to the Streets.' And, you know, I'm popping my s**t for my girls. But I feel like a Birkin symbolizes a gift of value."
So, to see her tweet about why receiving gifts in response to being hurt is problematic, shows her maturity and growth as a woman.
And as an empowerment hub for all black women, and as fans of Saweetie and what she represents and provides to the culture, that's the kind of growth we love to see.
We're excited for your next chapter, sis!
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Featured image by Ron Adar / Shutterstock.com
- Saweetie Confirms Breakup With Quavo | Teen Vogue ›
- Saweetie Addresses Quavo Cheating Rumors: 'I Don't Play That Sh ... ›
- Saweetie confirms Quavo break up rumors - REVOLT ›
- Saweetie Announces Quavo Split on Twitter ›
- Quavo to Saweetie after breakup: 'You are not the woman I thought ... ›
- Saweetie Confirms Quavo Breakup & Demi Lovato Collab | Billboard ›
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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