6 Global Destinations To Celebrate Black History All Year 'Round
If there's one thing I love to do when traveling anywhere, it's finding out about the black culture or communities of that region. Even in places where one might be apt to ask, "Are black people even living here?" I'm always curious to find out about the African diaspora and its history all over the world. And trust me, our footprint is everywhere---whether through ex-pats or our cultural and political influences. Since it's indeed Black History Month, here are a few must-see global destinations on my list to get beyond the usual museums and landmarks.
Italy: Rome and Tuscany
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Rome is a top-of-mind spot for travel to Italy considering it is indeed the capital, but let's veer off a bit from the usual gelato, pizza, and wine joints and get into a little history. Take a visit to the Arch of Septimius Severus, which was built in 203 A.D. in celebration of one of the emperor's triumphant battles. Septimus Severus was born in the Roman province of Africa and is described as a nomadic moor by several historians. Though his ethnicity in today's terms might be in question among some circles, it's still worth a trip (and a bit of research) while visiting the northwest end of the ancient Roman Square.
On another note, Rome is also the place where Berry Gordy, Billy Dee Williams, and Diana Ross filmed cult classic Mahogany. The theme song for the movie was a No. 1 hit in 1976, and was nominated for a "Best Song" Oscar that same year. Add a little glam to that suitcase and retrace some of the sites that Tracy, the lead character played by Ross, visited in that legendary photo shoot montage.
You can also take a trip to Tuscany, a hilltop city that includes Barga and the small village of Sommocolonia, where the legendary Buffalo Soldiers played a pivotal role in World War II. (See, Spike Lee's Miracle of St. Anna for a bit of dramatized back-story.) The town is full of beautiful cathedrals and restored castles, and local villages host antiques and food festivals.
Mexico: Veracruz and Mexico City
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Mexico has had its moments of issues with acknowledging citizens of African heritage as well as the African contribution to the country, but with a bit more understanding, more tourism support through travel, I think this can change. Veracruz, a port city has a large population of Afro-Mexicans, has a history impacted by Caribbean culture and foods brought by slaves from island nations. The first free slave community in the Americas was actually founded here and is called Yanga, named after Gasper Yanga who led the revolt for freedom. His statue stands in the city not far from Veracruz's other beautiful beaches, historic chapels, and San Juan de Ulúa, which was once a major fortress, prison and palace where slaves were traded.
Mexico City is where actress Lupita Nyong'o, a Mexican citizen of Kenyan heritage, was born. The Oscar-winning actress who won Best Supporting Actress for 12 Years A Slave (a film that made history as the first film directed by an African American to win Best Picture) spent time in a small Mexican town in her teens and told one publication she had to take a bus more than two hours away back to Mexico City just to find someone to braid her hair. In the city, you can visit the statue of Vicente Guerrero, the first (and only known or widely publicized) black president of Mexico, as well as enjoy their beach resorts (like the super-exclusive Nima Local House Hotel), Afro-Caribbean fusion restaurants, and street food spots in the Coyoacán or Michoacan markets.
Africa: Cairo and Ethiopia
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Everyone knows about Accra, Ghana, which hosts the return of thousands of African Americans to trace their roots, visit the slave castles, and be welcomed back to the native home of their ancestors. But there are other African locales that have a link to African-American history as well. Cairo, the capital of Egypt, has a metropolitan area that's the largest in Africa and was the place where Maya Angelou worked as an editor for the Arab Observer. While there, she counted as friends luminaries like David Du Bois (the stepson of W.E.B Du Bois), and she describes this experience in her book, The Heart of a Woman.
Also, many researchers and historians stand behind the premise that the ancient royalty of the country were indeed black, so when you're visiting the typical hot spots in Cairo like Tahrir Square and the massive Egyptian Museum, think on that. Stop by Khan El Khalili, a massive souk (or street market), for artisan goods, plan a luxe day trip through the desert, or drive just a couple hours away to enjoy nearby 5-star hotels like the Oberoi Sahl Hasheesh.
Ethiopia was once named the world's best destination for tourists---with its beautiful Simien Mountains National Park, majestic Blue Nile Falls, and widely visited Ethnological Museum within Emperor Haile Selassie's former palace---and it has a few historical ties to black Americans. Mignon Lorraine Inniss was a Caribbean-American scholar and educator who traveled with a delegation of African-Americans to the East African country to help with development efforts in the 1920s. She founded the first private co-ed boarding school there. Her husband, Arnold Josia Ford, who founded a black synagogue in Harlem, also helmed the development of a community of African Americans who left the U.S. and the racial discrimination of the time to settle on 100 acres of land gifted to them by Selassie. The historic Abyssinia Baptist Church in Harlem also has links to Ethiopia: The church was founded in conjunction with Ethiopian seaman in 1808.
More African Americans would travel to Ethiopia to relocate, and the emperor was a popular figure during the Harlem Renaissance. He had ties to key black American figures including Duke Ellington, Adam Clayton Powell, Jr., and legendary pilots John Robinson, who served in the Imperial Ethiopian Airforce, and Hubert Julian.
A few more things to try on a trip here---to add to visits to the aforementioned tourist spots---is to stay at the luxury Kuriftu Resorts or enjoy a camel walk with a registered tour group.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Places Every Female Solo Traveler Needs to Add to Their Bucket List
My Job Kept Declining My Vacation Requests---So I Quit & Traveled On Savings
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You're Catching Feelings For Your Guy Friend. Now What?
Let me just start this all off by saying that I will never be the kind of person who thinks that men and women can’t be friends (or that single people and married people can’t be friends). Choosing friends is about looking into someone’s character and how they complement your life; it should never be about their gender or relational status. Don’t get it twisted, though — in order to properly navigate the dynamic between a man and a woman, there are some things that should be pondered and then discussed.
For instance, is the relationship truly platonic? Even though our culture has reduced that word to simply mean that two people are friends and nothing more, the actual definition is that BOTH individuals do not have any type of sexual interest or attraction at all; that only a spiritual kind of love exists. Is that possible? I have a few male friends where that word applies. I won’t lie, though — most of my (unmarried) male friends are more in the lane of, “You could get it. We just value the friendship too much to explore it”…and no, it hasn’t been “game” whenever they’ve brought it up.
Contrary to the notoriously toxic belief of so many folks out here, not every man has coochie on the brain 24/7 and/or lacks self-control and/or is willing to risk it all in order to get some. In fact, not one man in my life is even remotely that shallow.
Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t get that the line between just friends and possibly more isn’t a tightrope for some friendships from time to time. Like, what happens if the person who ends up “with a little extra,” as far as emotions go for a friend, ends up being you? Even further, what if that question isn’t even close to being rhetorical because it’s something that you’re experiencing right at this very moment, and you’re not exactly sure what you should do about it?
If that’s the case, have no fear. I think I might be able to offer up a bit of insight that can get you through the (potential) internal stress of what happens when you look up one day and it really does seem like, out of nowhere, you suddenly want your guy friend to become something…more.
What Kind of Friendship Is It?
GiphySo before we talk about anything else, the first thing that you should get clear on is the type of friendship that you’re in. What I mean by that is, although we tend to use “friend” to cover all of the bases of someone who we’re not romantically involved with (or isn’t a relative or we can’t stand — and chile,don’t even get me started on frenemies), the reality is that friendships definitely have levels to them (check out “Always Remember That Friendships Have 'Levels' To Them”).
Like,is he a work friend? Is he a church friend? Is he someone you’ve recently gotten to know over the past couple of months? Is he an online friend? Or is it deeper, like a guy who you’ve been friends with for a couple of years now or someone who you used to have in the friend zone (check out “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.”)? Or — and lawd have mercy, if so — is he your best friend, and you’re starting to see him in a completely different light?
Do you see how, just breaking down some of these friendship dynamics, the situations are quite different? For instance, if you have feelings for a co-worker friend, you’ve got to take into consideration what your work environment will be like if the two of you date and it ultimately doesn’t work out. If he’s an online friend (especially if he’s in another city, state, or country), the risk of potential rejection probably won’t be as impactful as if you have to see him every weekend at church.
If he’s someone you already put into the friend zone, I’m gonna tell you right now that if he has any sort of self-esteem, you’re gonna have to eat a few slices of humble pie to get him to entertain being more than friends (because guys tend to move on once they find out that they fall into that space). And if he’s your best friend? Well, while it probably won’t cost you your friendship, it could make things awkward for a while at best or shift the relationship a bit at worst.
That’s why I definitely think that getting real about the kind of friendship you have with the guy is what you should get mentally cleared up first. Then, we can move on to the next thing.
What Do You Want to Come from the Matter?
GiphyAnyway, because I do have a nice circle of male friends, many of whom are single or divorced, I get asked often if it’s hard to be just friends with them. It’s not because I really like what we have as being friends only. There is a type of intimacy and balance of energies that come from a male-female friendship that you can never get from same-sex ones. I value it all too much to risk it. What I want from my male friends — a certain level of protection (because I’m single), insight from a male perspective, doing things that my female friends may not want to do, etc. — I get…and that’s worth more than seeing if the sex would be bomb or if we should try something more and it end up being a bad decision that we can’t come back from.
That’s me, though. That doesn’t have to be you and your guy friend. For example, what if what you want is to explore a sexual relationship (check out “5 Things You Should Ask Yourself Before Having Sex with A Friend”) because you can’t seem to get sex with him out of your head? For better or for worse, chile, back when I was out in these sex streets, that was pretty much my pattern: sex with close friends (check out “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners”), and it’s not an impossible feat.
You’ve just got to be real with yourself about whether that’s truly all that you want and if you can handle it gracefully if things don’t go as planned (check out “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”) or the sex is so good that now you can’t decide if you’re into him or just into…it. Oh, and don’t even get me started on if he’s seeing other people (because all you wanted was sex…right?). Yeah, a movie that I like calledSleeping with Other People has a scene where a woman is mad that her casual sex partner is sleeping around. His response was on-point: “Keeping our arrangement doesn’t make me an as-hole, but it does make you a liar.” #checkmate
That’s just one example to emphasize the point that, yes, you need to figure out what you want to come from your more-than-just-friends feelings. Do you just want to get it off of your chest and you’re not sure if you want or need to do anything more than that? Do you want just sex? Would you like to go on a few dates to see ifthe chemistry is mutual? Are you “deeply in” and you’re hoping that he feels the same way so that you two can have a full-blown relationship?
Listen, I have watched enough relationships in my lifetime to know that when it comes to something that needs to be as thoughtfully approached as this, it’s not fair to share your feelings with someone and then expect them to know what you want to come from doing so. You need to know…first. So before bringing it to him, figure it out on your own.
Tell Him the Deal. No Hinting Around.
GiphyAlthough timing and delivery matter, I don’t know one man who isn’t a “straight no-chaser” type of individual. This means no hinting around. No guessing games. No 50 million questions to try and see if he likes you first. I promise you that all of these approaches are off-putting to guys and will get them to mentally and emotionally tap out before you get around to making your point. Besides, if he’s a FRIEND friend, you should be able to express your genuine feelings — and honestly, this is a huge plus to telling him: you will be able to see how mature he is when it comes to handling matters of the heart.
Can there be a reason to not tell your guy friend how you feel? I mean, honestly, if you’re avoiding it, I’m assuming that it’s mostly due to fear, and trying to maintain anything with fear as your “fuel,” ultimately, isn’t going to get you anywhere. Plus, the more that you suppress what is going on inside of you, the more it’s going to alter the energy between the two of you, and that could cause unnecessary stress and strain to where either you start unnecessarily projecting things onto him, or he wants to spend less time around you because you’re making him feel as uncomfortable as you are.
Are there any exceptions to this? Eh. If you’re more like good acquaintances than actual friends, perhaps. Personally, though, I think that solid friendships are rooted in honesty — and how can you claim that you’ve got a healthy friendship with someone if you’re holding something as big back as having feelings for them away from them? Logically, it just doesn’t make much sense.
Prepare Yourself for His Response. And Don’t Penalize the Friendship If He Doesn’t Feel the Same Way.
GiphyOnce you tell him, for the most part, there are three ways that telling him can go: he can like you back, he can want some time and space to consider the possibilities, or he can not be interested. Let’s briefly unpack all three.
Liking you back...
So, what if you tell him how you feel, and he feels the same way (or something close)? My two cents would be for the two of you to still go slowly. Where I’ve seen many mess up is they think that they can go from friend to more-than-friends in two days or less, and that’s super unrealistic. Meaning, someone having feelings for you, too doesn't mean that they can, should, or will automatically stop seeing other people or that you two can or should immediately start becoming intimate.
Take some time to really discuss each other’s feelings, thoughts, and expectations — and what you guys should do trying to move into a different relational space ultimately proves to not be the best thing for one or both of you. If anything should take the “ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” approach, it’s friends who are transitioning into something more — or else.
Wanting time and space...
Going from friends to potentially something different is a lot like shifting gears in a car — and if you move too fast, you can strip them. That said, just because you’ve been sitting with your feelings for a while, it’s not fair to want to rush him after he finds out. Whether he wants time and space to figure out how he feels about your feelings or time and space from you altogether — both are warranted.
Should it be for weeks with no contact? Not if he’s a good friend. On the other hand, should you pressure him into making you feel at ease about what he’s just now learning? Eh. You might want to go to another friend to help you out with that. I mean, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Right…exactly.
He's not interested...
No one likes rejection; that’s real. At the same time, though, it’s not fair to penalize him if he doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Clearly, if he’s your friend (especially a close friend), he adores and values you on some level. However, if that’s not romantically, try and be emotionally mature enough to know and then accept that not wanting all of what you desire from the relationship doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want you in his life at all.
At the end of the day, if it’s too hard to be his friend when you want something else, you’ve got to do what’s best for you. Just make sure that you’re not going to lose a great person in your life because your ego got bruised or your pride couldn’t handle him not reciprocating what you were offering. It’s not fair, and it could end up costing you…A LOT. Take the kind of space you need to redirect your focus. If he loves you, he’ll be there when you get…back.
___
I’ve developed feelings for a friend before; more than once. Was it always easy to work through? Not always. My friendships always survived it, though — whether the feelings were reciprocated or not. And it was because we valued the friendship too much to lose it.
And honestly, I think that is one of the best things to come out of having feelings for a friend: you end up finding out just how solid the bond actually is. And in a world where really good friends are hard to come by…that can never not be a good thing.
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