
How Joy Ekhator Landed Her Luxury Skincare Brand On Retail Shelves Using African Tradition

When it comes to beauty and skincare brands, finding the right fit as women of color can be quite a journey—especially when seeking to support women-owned or Black-owned brands. And when wanting to upgrade to luxury for taking care of our body’s largest organ, it can get even more sticky.
Joy Ekhator, founder and CEO of skincare brand Lovinah, started her luxury skincare brand as a side hustle while balancing motherhood with a full-time job in tech. Founded in 2012 but launched officially in 2016, the brand was set to be a luxury, science-centered solution, according to Ekhator, for skin issues, including eczema, a challenge she saw many people of color face. Fast forward to today: Her products are now sold on Macys.com, and the mother of three is now a full-time entrepreneur.
Lovinah’s line of cleansing balms, creams, oils, masks, and cosmetics includes ingredients like vitamin A derivatives, beetroot extract, and fermented elements with striking names that definitely intrigue.
Here’s more on the Houston-based entrepreneur’s journey to land on retail shelves, how she infused her Nigerian culture’s traditions to come up with her line, and how she’s been able to sustain a luxury Black-owned brand that serves as an innovation-centered presence in skincare:
xoNecole: You have a 20-year background in tech. What inspired you to get into beauty and skincare?
Joy Ekhator: Because of my children and myself, I decided to lead in starting to make skincare products. I have a lot of chemist friends, and chemistry was my minor in school, so it was easy to come up with the formulations.
Between that and getting the product stable, packaging, and all those different things, we had a focus group, and people loved [it], and that’s what inspired me to continue to pursue a career in skincare.
Lovinah
xoN: Your product offers a specific value in terms of luxury and the quality of that. What was the process like to get your product on retail shelves?
JE: It was hard [laughs]. This is one mistake we made: I came into skincare, assuming I have a new business and everyone is going to support me. Friends and family are going to buy it, and it’s going to make money from day one. Once you actually get into business, you realize, no, it doesn’t work that way.
We started with social media, had a couple of brand ambassadors, and we went to a lot of trade shows. It takes money to make money. You have to be with those buyers and make sure your product is retail-ready—the packaging and regulations. You have to have everything set up in a way that when your brand starts getting recognition and visibility, the retailers will come to you, and they don’t have time to wait for you to go and get [things] sorted out. You have to make sure you’re prepared.
"It takes money to make money. You have to be with those buyers and make sure your product is retail-ready—the packaging and regulations. You have to have everything set up in a way that when your brand starts getting recognition and visibility, the retailers will come to you... You have to make sure you’re prepared."
We also pitched—we still pitch today—and we got a lot of no's. When I’d get no's, I’d ask them, "What am I doing wrong?" and gather feedback. Sometimes, it would be something to do with the packaging or something to do with the ingredients. Sometimes we would be told we’re too forward-thinking or too futuristic. I’m thinking my background is in science and tech!
Cosmetic Executive Women had [an award event] they did in 2020, and I was on a panel. From there, Macy’s reached out to us. They wanted to carry us on Macys.com. I worked with buyers, they reviewed my SKU [Stock Keeping Unity] and made sure everything was okay because when you’re selling with a major retailer, you have to make sure—[from] the right insurance to [product stability]. Everything has to be retail-ready.
You have to differentiate yourself, pitch and pitch and pitch, put yourself where those buyers are going to be, and know your ideal store—the companies that you’d like to work with. Not every retailer works for your brand.
And build a good relationship with your customers. They sell for you when the product works, and it becomes a must-have product. This is something that solves a problem.
Lovinah
xoN: A lot of skincare brands focus on one key ingredient that makes their products work so well. What would you say that ingredient is for your line?
JE: This is what makes Lovinah unique: We don’t just base things on one ingredient.
You hear a lot about probiotics and prebiotics in skincare, but if you really look at the origins of probiotics, this started in ancient Africa, where they didn’t have access to antibiotics, preservation systems, [or] refrigeration. So what they did was preserve their food by fermentation. When you’re sick, you have eczema, and all these things, you were given fermented things to drink.
That’s still my grandmother’s first line of defense. And even living in the Western world, when I get sick, I think, ‘Oh, let me drink my [tonic].’ That was what they used for centuries, and it worked.
So when I started Lovinah, that was a big part of my inspiration. I wanted it to center on fermentation. So when you hear about products with probiotics in skincare, we’ve been using that in Africa for [so] long where it actually takes care of your skin.
"When I started Lovinah, that was a big part of my inspiration. I wanted it to center on fermentation. So when you hear about products with probiotics in skincare, we’ve been using that in Africa for [so] long where it actually takes care of your skin."
When the bad bacteria outweighs the good bacteria, that’s when you have those different skin problems. When you use a fermentation-based skin product, what it does is help to balance your skin’s microbiomes so you can fix a multitude of problems.
xoN: There are so many brands to choose from on the market when it comes to beauty products and skincare. What do you want your brand’s legacy to be?
JE: I want it to be known as a brand that came in and solved a lot of problems. One of the biggest things right now is the TikTok world, with people doing a lot of DIYs. They don’t even really know what they’re putting on their skin. I want Lovinah to be known as a brand that caters to the consumer and provides solutions. I want to leave this for my kids and grandkids.
We don’t have a lot of luxury Black-owned brands, unfortunately. What makes me so happy now is that I see a lot of Black cosmetic chemists. Back [in] the day, we didn’t have [that].
Representation is everything. I think we need more luxury Black brands. We talk about La Mer and all those big companies, but we want to have our own as well. We want to be known as a go-to for the Black luxury brand that serves a purpose.
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Women Are (Still) Spelling 'Coconut' With Their Hips. And Guys Are Losing Their Damn Minds.
While prepping for a podcast interview a while back, because I received the questions beforehand, I did a bit of research into one of the inquiries: what are men’s current favorite sex positions? I doubt any of you are shocked by the fact that what continued to pop up (like here, here, and here) was doggy style and the cowgirl position (i.e., when a woman is on top).
When it comes to ridin’, specifically, that got me to thinking about something that was all over the internet a few years ago: women who were advising that you spell “coconut” with your hips, during sex, in order for you and your partner to receive maximum pleasure and satisfaction.
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
From grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
A part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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