And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on...
Every Superman needs a Superwoman, and for La La Anthony, she has become a guardian angel in one very special young man's life.
For those of you who have been keeping up with La La's social media, the media personality has been campaigning for the support and awareness of young Anthony "Superman" Skipper, who has been suffering from an anoxic brain injury after having a seizure in the bathtub and nearly drowning to death in 2015. Although the Sunrise, Florida native was rescued by his younger brother Willie, by the time Anthony was resuscitated, the damage to his brain had already been done.
"It was just sad because I've seen so many pictures of him [before his accident] doing back flips and having fun, but he was born premature and he suffered from seizures. He hadn't had a seizure in two years, but unfortunately the first seizure he had in two years, it was when he was in the bathtub, so he went under the water. His eight year-old brother, who is very close with [my son] Kiyan now, really pulled him out of the tub and saved his life.About the time they pulled him out the tub and actually got a pulse on him, his brain was without oxygen for over 15 minutes, and he was in the semi-vegetative state. He's the oldest one."
Superman's life caught the attention of La La when family and friends of the young boy had campaigned in her comments in hopes of bringing awareness to her about his condition. Before his accident, Anthony had already endured more than a few medical setbacks and procedures. By the age of one, the preemie baby who was born 1 lb, 4 oz, had already endured four different types of corrective surgeries. Since his accident last year, the 12-year-old has had to learn all basic life functions all over again.
La La Helping Superman Anthony to Celebrate his 11th Birthday in 2016.
La La's Son Kiyah Posing with Superman Anthony at his 11th Birthday Party
Anthony is all tired after a whole day of partying with his family and friends
Superman Anthony at 10, before and after his accident
Superman is currently on a ventilator and oxygen tank to assist with breathing. Anthony attempted to breathe on his own at one point and was doing well, until the day his lungs filled with fluid and collapsed. Now, he has to get a trach to help him swallow his foods. His mother has had to quit her job in order to assist with Anthony's round the clock care, as well as be a mom to her three other children.
Superman Anthony and his baby sister "Pooh" last year
Perhaps it was the shared name between La La Anthony and "Superman Anthony," or God Himself, but either way, La La went from making a donation to completely turning around Anthony and his family's way of living:
"This kid has just changed my life. I found his story on Instagram, which is really weird because I see a lot of stuff on Instagram. But for some reason, I really took to his story. And at first, I just did a donation from me and Melo (Carmelo Anthony). And then I found out that he was a fan of Melo's. And as I got more into the story, I became connected with the family and talked to his mom and just wanted to know more about it.
"What we initially did at first was, I found out he was doing a little physical therapy at home, but he wasn't really getting the care he needed [since] certain insurances don't provide certain things. So what we did was we transferred all his doctors now to Miami Children's Hospital, someone from D.Wade's team helped us to make that transition. So now we have all the best doctors trying to at least give him a shot at trying to get better."
But La La didn't stop there; she'd go on to willingly expense most of Anthony's needs, while also using some of her celebrity connections to further assist in Superman's needs:
Superman Anthony and his younger siblings posing by his new wheelchair accessible van!
"I reached out to Kia (Motors Corporation) because I knew Lebron had his deal with Kia, and they were so kind enough to, with no questions asked, to donate a van. So his family got the van this week so he could get to his appointments. Before then, when [his mom] would have to take him places, she would have to go through the insurance two weeks ahead of time and she'd spend more time than none just trying to get a ride. She would be outside and the van would never come pick him up and he'd never be able to get to his appointments and where he'd need to go. So her having a van was really key.
I've gotten so close to his family and with him. I flew down for his birthday [this weekend]. I've never been this connected to one person before because we help a lot of people, but this was just something so different. He has changed my life. It's really an unexplainable thing. I explain it by saying, 'It's God' because I found this person on Instagram and I see stuff like this on Instagram all the time, you know what I mean? But I'm just really so, so connected."
Since going viral, Superman Anthony's story has also inspired others, including La La's husband and NBA Knicks' star, Carmelo Anthony, who has Instagrammed several photos of Superman, with his most recent one thanking the young boy for being his "hero."
Other celebrities who have been impacted by Superman's triumphant battle includes rappers Fetty Wap and Flo-Rida, both of whom La La admits were Superman's favorite rappers before his accident:
"Some of the most unexpected people have reached out to help! I don't even know [rapper] Flo-Rida like that, we actually have a relationship now because of what he did. But when I tell you this man reached out to me and drove 45 minutes, didn't sleep, went to the hospital and was there all day, took pictures, brought $1000 gift cards from Toys R Us, and he had bought custom t-shirts for the whole family that said 'Superman Anthony' with his face on it. Who does that? It was just amazing. The kind of people that really stepped up to the plate. It's just amazing."
[Tweet ""You don't have to look for help. When people want to help, they'll find you." -@Lala"]
Similar to Fetty, Superman Anthony was born with an eye defect as well. Called "Retinopathy of Prematurity," ROP is a disease that occurs in many premature babies and causes abnormal blood vessels to grow in the retina. The growth can cause detachment from the back of the eye and, needless to say, Anthony suffered blindness in one eye and wears a prosthetic one in place of it.
"When Fetty Wap heard him, I told Fetty that he was Superman's favorite artist before the incident. He sent a nice video. I found that, when people find it in their hearts [to give], they'll find you. You don't have to hound people or reach out to them or do that. People will find you and want to help, which has been amazing."
La La also explained to those asking why she feels the need to go so hard for Anthony's ongoing care, despite having already raised a good chunk of change for his family. She addressed people's constant questioning of celebrities who ask for assistance in situations like these:
"It's just funny sometimes because when you're a celebrity and when you ask people for donations or try to raise money, they're like 'Oh, why can't you [pay for it?]' And they don't realize how much money it takes. I've contributed a lot out of my own pocket for this kid. Transportation to get to his appointments, his doctors switched, his wheelchair rushed to be made, getting the wheelchair lift to be put in the van. I don't care about a checklist, but when you ask people to donate, their reaction is, 'Why can't you?' It takes a village.Anthony needs 24-hour care, so his mom had to give up her job, she's with him all the time and gets everything for him because the nurses at times don't even show up. So she has to watch him all through the night and not sleep at all, so she had to give up her job. So the donations are really to help keep all of that going. And she has three other kids. But man, people have been so generous with their help over the last few weeks and it's been amazing."Anthony Undergoing Daily Physical Therapy
Although grateful to have been able to learn more about Anthony and his condition, La La did admit that her time with him has helped her empathize with other people in similar situations, whose stories are lesser known:
"It is sad to me that he was basically sent home from the hospital to kind of just die. But when you start making calls on behalf of me and Melo and down in Miami, D.Wade's assistant making calls to help us out, now all of a sudden everybody moves differently. It's just sad for all the families who don't have insurance, or people that are calling around and pushing for them.
[Tweet ""It's sad to me. He was basically sent home to just die." - @Lala on #SupermanAnthony"]
"I saw today, someone donated, I don't know who it was, $5000 on his page, which was just amazing. Even $5, 10 people donate $5, that stuff adds up. It just starts adding up."
So what's next for the two new best friends?
Well, you can expect this to be a friendship of a lifetime for La, who admits that she's already made plans to see #TeamSuperman again. This time, she is sending all of his siblings, including baby brother Willie who originally rescued the kid hero, to New York City!
"My plan is, I'm going to go there often. Actually, Kiyan's birthday is actually coming up, and I'm going to bring his two brothers up to New York for his birthday. They need love and attention and they need to get out the house a little bit. You know, it must be hard to see your brother like that everyday."
Phenomenal! A major salute to La La and those helping out others in similar situations. If you want to donate to Superman Anthony and his family, you can go to his GoFundMe page here!
Also find out more about Superman Anthony by visiting his Instagram page.
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A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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Featured image by jose carlos cerdeno martinez/Getty Images
