

July! The month we've all been waiting for as we prepare once again to enter the wild wild west of the Eclipse Season.
Once again, we get to take a look at the concepts of fate, destiny, and karma as we all decide whether we want to move up or down on the karmic scale. The beginning of the month kicks off crankily with Mercury in Leo arguing with Mars and Jupiter, making him irritable, quick-tempered, verbose, and loud as hell, as leonine Mercury roars out rallying cries that inspire others around him to act. We all receive an opportunity to speak with pride and passion on the topics and projects that we're deeply invested in as well as using our creative and collective minds to come up with solutions for the difficulties in our personal and shared worlds. It's important to remember that it's not always the loudest voice in the room that has the answers but the voice that is willing to listen and collaborate in order to be effective.
On July 10, Jupiter leaves his retrograde journey to station direct at 13 degrees of Scorpio, bringing our attention all the way back to his retrograde story. (December 12th through March 8th) Jupiter's been working to show us how we've been expanding and relating to the world. Have you been openly passionate about how you meet new experiences? Or have you been running away in fear when opportunities for growth and abundance come your way? During his third and final pass see what's changed about how you open up and have faith or belief in yourself and the world.
July ends with a big bang with a strong, highly martial and potentially violent Lunar eclipse on July 27 at 4 degrees of Aquarius. Remember Mars is retrograde until August 26, so his energy can be both explosive, sudden, and unusual. People will be acting "strangely" so don't be too alarmed. It's a busy, busy month so click through the slideshow below to learn what July has in store for your sign!
Aries
Love
You may be a bit of a homebody for the first part of the month, Aries, so chill out for a couple of days. Your focus is more serious with Venus in your house of Daily Routines and Health putting you in a perfectionist mood where you'll be wanting things to go certain ways especially in regards to your relationships with others. If you're currently single, you could very well meet a potential love on-the-job or find yourself interviewing potential suitors like they're trying out for the job of being your boo. It's not that you're uncaring, or unsympathetic to their obvious interest in you, but you want to be logical about how you express your love and affection to new mate(s).
Work
To be perfectly honest, it could be that your work and career is just more satisfying than spending a lot of time on romance that could fizzle out before summer is finished. That's fine, because Jupiter's forward movement will help you realize that you have the power to take control of your life when you do the dirty business of facing fears and being brutally honest about your underlying desires as motivation. Basically, you're in no mood for weak sauce from anyone right now.
Health
The Solar Eclipse on the 12th will be energizing your House of Home and inviting you to make it more comfortable and less cluttered with mental-emotional baggage, so that it's easier for you to rest and function within that that sacred space. The Sun's movement into Leo will give you a burst of energy to go out and play while Mercury does his retrograde dance in the same house. The two of them will encourage you to tap back into your creativity and rediscover your sense of humor if it's gone missing over the past few weeks. Just stay true to yourself, Aries, it's good for your health.
Taurus
Love
Turn up your natural charm, Taurus. July is a month that revolves around enjoying yourself within your relationships. Jupiter turns direct in your House of Partnerships on July 10, replenishing you with both luck and an abundance of suitors if you're looking. If your one-on-ones with people have been challenging, or if your business partnerships have been an issue as of late, expect kerfuffles to smooth out as Jupiter begins to retrace his steps with his extra wisdom on his side. Think back to March of this year for relationships that might be up for yet another pass. Know that you're in a space where there's plenty of opportunity for love, romance, creativity and playfulness as Venus enters into your house of Creativity and Romance on the same day. With these two benefits on your side, you may find that it's much easier to compromise and find the middle ground with others. This all works out in your favor as the Solar Eclipse on the 12 will be encouraging you to communicate, socialize and not allow boredom or monotony to set into your day-to-day. Go out, meet people, keep your mind engaged.
Health
Pay attention to your health around the end of the month; you could be experiencing some social fatigue with Mercury settling down to go retrograde in your House of Home and Family. Your mind tends towards nostalgia, and cloudy emotionality during this time as he tries to make sense of what's off in your home and work environments.
Work
Chances are that you're spending too much energy in a situation at work that's leaving you drained and uncertain if you want to continue down your current career path. Try to speak up for yourself and see if a solution can't come about through collaborative efforts at work. If that fails, there's nothing wrong with hanging out on the couch with your family until you feel ready to act. Patience is still one of your best virtues, Taurus.
Gemini
Health
July is the month to get your mind back in order, Gemini, especially with Jupiter in your House of Health and Daily routines stationing direct on July 10th. You should feel more like yourself in terms of getting tasks done as opposed to spinning your wheels as you have been since March. Do your best to take in Jupiter's lessons as he gives you yet another chance to handle your details so that your details don't handle you. Don't get too carried away with your endless to-do lists and errands as around July 9, it could quickly become the case of putting too much on your plate and not having the energy to keep up with yourself.
Work
Use the solar eclipse on July 12 to plant new seeds and set your intentions around your money, assets, and you self-esteem. If you've been meaning to invest in a new financial venture or been thinking about financial planning, this New Moon Eclipse will be useful to you. Take it as a moment to consider just how much you want for yourself in terms of money and career, and whether or not you feel like you deserve it.
Love
Keep in mind it's much easier to receive love in our lives when we believe it is our right to have it. You do deserve it, so claim what's yours. Your ruling planet Mercury going retrograde and the Lunar Eclipse at the end of the month will force you to slow down enough to consider the boldness of your ideas and whether or not to act on them. Your mind will take you as far as you allow it, Gemini. Think big.
Cancer
Health
July is the kind of month that will have you saying f*ck it, Cancer. After months of struggling to maintain healthier relationships, this is a good time to reimagine yourself, build confidence, make a little money, and have some fun while you're doing it. Everyone else can fend for themselves while you take care of you and your health first. The beginning of the month sees Jupiter and Neptune lending positive support to your ego, so spend extra time in the mirror with those positive affirmations and blown kisses. The solar eclipse on July 12 will be in your House of Self, meaning you get to plant a new intentions about your self-image, Little Crab.
Work
Think about how learning how to wield some of the power dynamics that you've experienced in your partnerships with others and how you can use them in different areas of your life, including your career. Leave all the negative expressions of power struggles behind and embrace the ones that make you feel confident and able to stand up to whatever or whoever comes your way.
Love
Jupiter stationing direct in your House of Creativity and Pleasure is encouraging you to go outside and play more than you have been lately, get back into your hobbies. Go dancing, play music, romance yourself or somebody else and see how that feels for a change. Venus gives a nod to your House of Communication making her chatty girl who loves conversations with new people that help her to understand the wider world so if you're invited to go out, say yes. Chances are love and excitement are waiting for you to come say hello.
Leo
Health
This month marks the beginning of your birthday season, Leo! Happy Solar Return and many more! Though this month may have you wanting to retreat at times (cuz whoa, talk about crazy intense energy, these days!) don't lose hope, as typically things all work out in the end when you're being eclipsed like you are. First off, make an effort to spend time with people who boost your confidence. Venus moving into your House of Money and Self Esteem will be pushing you to invest in you and your health this month. If it looks pretty, and makes you feel pretty, go for it (within reason and your budget, of course!).
Work
Although Venus in this position tends to get a bit carried away with her spending, she's also good at bringing in additional cash just when you need it most. You could put a portion of your spending towards your home, as Jupiter turns direct and draws your attention back to your roost. If you've been thinking of renovating, expanding, or moving to a bigger place, Jupiter and Venus can work together on your behalf to make it happen from this month forward. Having a strong homebase and foundation will be of use to you as you continue to work on your career and your one-on-one relationships with others this summer.
Love
Partners are still behaving strangely thanks to Mars, so do try to show love by being patient and allow disagreements to blow over quickly as opposed to becoming knock down fights that no one can remember how they started. Choose your words, and your battles wisely, Leo, and if all else fails, just pack it up and go home. Tomorrow is still another day.
Virgo
Love
Sometimes you feel social and sometimes you don't, Virgo. That's fine so long as you're going with the flow of the month. You'll be feeling more inclined to be seen during the first half of the month, with Venus entering your sign and your first House of Self on the 10. Venus in this position should bless you with additional charm and grace while making you seem extremely attractive If you are in the market for a summer love fling or longer relationship. Yes, Virgo, they're looking at you, because they like what they see, embrace that sh*t. Whatever your current romantic status, the point is to seek more pleasure from your everyday life. Jupiter turning direct in your House of Communications will be giving you ample opportunity to connect with others as your voicemail and calendar suddenly fill to capacity. You'll be feeling pretty and witty when you're out engaging in refreshing and enlightening conversations with the people who'll be drawn to your energy.
Work
The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 12 is bringing in even more social engagement energy by activating your House of Friendship and Organizations providing you even more opportunity to broaden your network of friends and involvement with like-minded groups in ways that can boost your career.
Health
All this socializing may have you feeling burnt out towards the end of the month when the Sun enters your House of Unconscious, followed by Mercury turning retrograde in the same house. You may find that you're reluctant to share your deeper thoughts with others or be less inclined to go outside at all and who could blame you after such a busy first half of the month. Use this downtime to clear your head, tend to your health and reflect on what you've experienced in the last 12 months and prepare for a new solar year as your birthday season approaches.
Libra
Work
July should feel easier for you, Libra, as Jupiter finally turns direct in your House of Money and Self Esteem, allowing you to feel more confident about what you believe in and want for yourself. This is perfectly timed since the Solar Eclipse in your House of Career on July 12 will be asking you to plant new seeds and vision around your burgeoning reputation. Pluto is also involved In this Eclipse, but instead of being overwhelmed or frightened by his influence, use that energy as fuel. Pluto in your House of Home helps to uproot all sorts of familial stories good and bad that have helped shape who you are. Lean into the familial traits and characteristics that can propel you forward in your career as opposed to hold you back.
Love
Mercury retrograde through your House of Friendship and Organizations on July 26 will have you paying extra attention to those that you associate with and how they push you to take pride and go powerfully towards your vision for the future. Just be sure to pay attention to Mercury when he's squabbling with Jupiter, on the 9, as he will inform you whether or not your values are on the same page as the people that you love and associate with. Don't be shocked when you find that some people won't be joining you going forward.
Health
Your health is maintained when you Indulge in some good old fashioned fun with your ruling planet Venus In Leo during the first few weeks of the month that she will invite you to go out and socialize and have a good time but once she enters Virgo on July 10, it's a good time to retreat from the world to recharge your batteries so that you have an easier time letting go of whatever doesn't serve you.
Scorpio
Health
You get some of your energy back this month, Scorpio. Jupiter finally turning direct after 4 months of being retrograde should finally see a boost in both your health and your optimism. You now have a better understanding of faith in yourself and random blessings and luck from the universe. Allow Jupiter to push you towards opening up to life again if you've been feeling closed off.
Love
Venus going through your house of friendships and organizations will be encouraging you to socialize and potentially get set up with a new love interest by your friends or meet someone new who just happens to share your interest. It's okay to take it slow and and just enjoy in the company of like-minded people but be careful around July 24 when Neptune comes to chat with Venus and puts a bit of Illusion and haze around romance and money affairs. Use your Scorpio perceptiveness to cut through the nonsense. If it seems too good to be true, chances are that it is, but it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy the ride.
Work
Mercury retrograde and the lunar eclipse taking place on the 26 and 27 of the month will have you thinking about your work to home life balance. Are you spending too much time at home or at work? Do you like the work that you're doing or the home that you're living in? Mercury may have you reconsidering your career and reputation path while he goes retrograde, while the South Node of Fate in your house of home and family will help clear out any family angst, drama, and discontent that might be putting a downer on your home life and dragging on your ability to succeed at work.
Sagittarius
Health
You should start to move out of your funk this month, Sadge, with your ruling planet Jupiter finally turning direct on the 10. Since March, he's been urging you to reflect on some of your more well hidden fears so that they can be processed and released, as opposed to weighing you down as you proceed on your journey. If you're still feeling grayed-out, use Jupiter to help boost your health by finding a spiritual practice that revolves around rebuilding your faith in the Universe and in yourself.
Love
Venus moving into your House of Career and Reputation will have you standing out in the crowd, appearing more attractive and charming to the public and even gain you favor from people in power. If you're in the mood for love and affection, Venus in this position may bring you an older lover interest who happens to like sharing their wisdom and expertise with you. You could use the wisdom you learn from new partners to help you get clear about what you want to transform in your life when the Solar Eclipse on the 12th activates your House of Intimacy.
Work
Once that happens, anything having to do with letting go of fears that block your blessings and straightening out your finances (especially if it relates to debts, loans and taxes) would be ideal. Set a new intention to be more honest in how you relate to others and your relationship with money. An automated savings account wouldn't be a terrible idea to invest in this month. The money you save while being a responsible adult could come in handy by the time Mercury turns retrograde and the Lunar Eclipse lights up your House of Distant Travel and Higher Learning. Can you say, "fly me out", Centaur?
Capricorn
Work
Keep your calendar wide open as the heavens will be pushing you out into the world this month, Capricorn. On July 10, Venus will be entering into your House of Higher Learning and Expansion, leaving you interested in all things related to expanding your heart and mind to new experiences. This could come in the form of taking a new class, or meeting new people with different cultural backgrounds than your own. Think about how to utilize what you learn for your career.
Love
Jupiter will be lending a hand when he turns direct in your House of Friendship and Organizations on the same day making it easier to come across like-minded people who may be supportive of your hopes and wishes coming true. All this socializing is right on time as the Solar Eclipse on the 12th lands right in your House of Partnership. If you're on the hunt for a new love relationship this month will plop you down amongst people that you'd be interested in spending more one-on-one time with. The only catch is that you're not particularly interested in the small talk.
Health
Mercury in your House of Intimacy isn't here for the shallow conversations or frivolous connections with others, so if you find it hard to communicate on a deeper level with potential mates, maintain your health by letting them go to avoid future frustration. If you've been meaning to do research, be sure to use Mercury to your advantage especially when he goes retrograde in this house for you it's a good time to go over your fears and underlying motivations to make sure they match up with how you take action on acquiring your assets, money, and sense of purpose and self esteem. There's no time for fake sh*t Capricorn, if you want to connect in a deep way now is the time to do so.
Aquarius
Love
This month is all about your relationships, Aquarius. ALL the relationships. From your romantic partners, to your family, your co-workers, bosses, frenemies and open enemies, you name it. And most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself.
Venus moving into your House of Intimacy will give you a push to probe a little deeper within your relationships, go beyond the niceties and be real with each other about why you're choosing to be together. You don't have to go over the top with expressing affection, instead go for consistency and reliability. If you do and mean what you say with conviction and a bit of planning, love flourishes.
Work
As challenging as the energy has been for you so far, it's important that you learn to lean into the discomfort of being more welcoming of those who are different from you but still share some of your core values. The Eclipses have been teaching you about compromise and balance, the natural give and take that comes with the act of being in one half of a partnership. You may find that people you engage with have a lot to say this month about how your career ambitions are causing friction due to feelings of neglect. This may not be necessarily true, but listen all the same. This isn't the time to fight, Water Bearer, especially with Mars retrograde in your sign,you just don't have the juice or the direction to throw down the gauntlet.
Health
It would ideal for your health to just chill out for a while. Try instead to to look backwards and review how you can behave differently to get different results from people. Get them onboard with your ambitions, so that conversations become more productive where both parties feel inspired to act toward a shared goal for a change.
Pisces
Health
Get yourself out of the house for the first part of the month, Pisces. Your ruling planet, Jupiter, turning direct on July 10 will have your optimism and desire to socialize with other on the rise. The energy as of late has been taxing on your health but remind yourself that life is good even if things are looking crazy on the outside. Do your best to keep a positive outlook and try not to stress over the little things. If anything, this is a good time to get back into teaching or writing as a way to open up your mind after feeling down and disoriented.
Love
Venus entering into your 7th House on the same day moves you in the direction of forging new relationships with particularly attractive people *wink wink*. If you're already in a committed relationship, this would be a good time to play up the love and romance. The Solar Eclipse on the 12 will be electrifying your House of Romance and Creativity, so if you've been feeling lonesome or out of step, make it a point to go play, to date, and to create, not just the arts but anything that comes to mind.
Work
Career takes somewhat of a backseat this month as Mercury retrograde and the Lunar Eclipse on the 26 and 27 respectively will have you going back inside and into your quiet place where you'll be meditating on your subconscious emotions. Floating in unknown and unseen is typically your domain, Pisces, so be open with yourself. Try not to suppress any emotions that come bubbling to the surface during this time. Should you find that there are emotions and thoughts that are too overwhelming, use Mercury to channel them into productive activities like exercise or cleaning out your closets. Sometimes doing chores can help organize the swirling intangible thoughts so that you can reference them later for deeper understanding.
Featured image by Getty Images
- Horoscopes - Broadly ›
- July 2018 monthly horoscope ›
- Monthly Horoscope for July 2018 | Old Farmer's Almanac ›
- Monthly Horoscope: Gemini, July 2018 - Broadly ›
- June Monthly Horoscope - Free Horoscope for June 2018 ›
- July Horoscope 2018 – Monthly Horoscope – Astrology King ›
- Monthly Horoscope July 2018 - mindbodygreen ›
- Monthly Horoscopes by The AstroTwins, Ophira & Tali Edut ›
Janelle Belgrave L.Ac is a New York City based acupuncturist, astrologer, and clairvoyant intuitive. You can catch her on Twitter chatting about a mixture of Astrology, healing, politics, and her unhealthy love of Game of Thrones.
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
Recently, a client and I were discussing the fact that she really missed her husband. Yes, they are together and yes, they share the same home and bed. They even have a pretty consistent (and fulfilling) sex life. The issue is that she is missing a certain kind of intimacy: kissing.
As I asked her to expound further, she basically said that, with both of their schedules being so tight, and with them also both knowing “which buttons to push” in order to get each other off, they hadn’t been losing themselves in foreplay like they used to — and one of her favorite parts of that is kissing. I get it. Kissing is endearing. Kissing is romantic. Kissing is also sexy AF. Few things can compare to a really good kiss, y’all. Whew.
That said, you should PayPal her for the inspiration that she provided when it comes to me penning this article because, with Valentine’s Day being on the horizon, I personally don’t know if the art of kissing is mentioned nearly enough because a day that is filled with well-placed and purposeful kisses? It doesn’t get much better than that.
And so, here it is. If you want to express how deeply you care for someone special this year, although dates and coitus are awesome, please don’t underestimate the power of a really good kiss. Especially an erotic kiss.
I’ll explain.
Why Do We Like to Kiss So Much?
Kissing is a big deal to me. I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Y’all, it’s so crucial over this way that I once stayed in a relationship longer than I probably should’ve because the kissing (and sex while kissing; that’s an unsung art too) was so damn good. Hmph. I also (finally) ended a relationship that had some good points because the guy was HORRIBLE at kissing (especially kissing during sex; I’m not alone on this either. I once read that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women ended things with someone because they sucked at kissing).
And while I was sitting down to pen this, both of those situations got me to wondering why we (well, at least most of us — check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”) enjoy kissing so much. Sure, it feels good but there’s got to be more behind why most of us are totally down for a passionate kiss — anytime, anyplace.
Well, from a research standpoint, first there’s the fact that our lips are some of the most sensitive parts of our body, thanks to the abundance of nerve endings that are in them. That is actually a part of the reason why lips are considered to be such a powerful erogenous zone. Then there are some scientists who say that kissing is what helps us to literally “sniff out” and select potential partners. How? Well, since scent helps to arouse pheromones and, next to sex, kissing is about as close as you can get to someone else; when you really stop to think about it, that makes all of the sense in the world.
Then there’s saliva. The hormones and compounds in it actually help the brain to process who may be a complementary fit (including who you would be a good match to conceive children with — wild, right?). There’s even a study that revealed that the reason why men are quicker to want to French kiss— you know, kissing with tongues touching — than women (typically) is due to their higher testosterone levels; ones that, in a kiss, can help to heighten a woman’s libido.
Plus, some data states that the love/bonding hormone known as oxytocin increases during a kiss which causes us to feel closer to the person who we are kissing. Also, kissing can increase the feel-good hormone dopamine in your system, which is why the act oftentimes creates warm-‘n-fuzzy feelings whenever you’re sharing a smooch. So, when it comes to science, it is quite apparent that an intimate kiss isn’t just…a kiss.
How Kissing Benefits You
Okay, so now that you know why a kiss is able to draw you in from a science standpoint, let’s briefly touch on what some of its health benefits are. Were you aware of the fact that kissing helps to:
- Decrease stress and anxiety
- Strengthen immunity
- Soothe headaches and cramp discomfort
- Lower allergy reactions to pollen and dust mites
- Improve cholesterol levels
- Increase blood flow
- Reduce tooth decay
- Tone your facial muscles
- Burn calories
- Improve self-esteem
Yep, every time that you lean in for an intimate kiss, it’s not just good for your mental and emotional well-being, your physical health is able to get in on the benefits too. And then, if it’s an erotic kiss? LISTEN.
What Is an “Erotic Kiss”?
So, what exactly is the difference between a kiss and an erotic kiss? Let’s start with what erotic actually means. Something that’s erotic is sexy. Something that’s erotic is sensual. Something that’s erotic is passionate. Something that’s erotic is amatory which means that it’s directly related to sexual love. Something that’s erotic is romantic, steamy, and hella seductive. And so, if you’re going to give someone an erotic kiss, it must be with these words — and this type of energy — in mind.
Let’s keep going. When I was reading Well + Good’s article, “These 19 Kissing Types Prove Lips Can Do Way More Than Just Pecks,” kisses like pecks, closed-mouth kisses, and kisses on the hand, in my mind, definitely didn’t “scratch the itch” when it comes to what an erotic kiss is and does. To me, French kisses, kisses on the neck (including hickeys), and kisses on your favorite erogenous zones fit the bill far more.
Why? Because a kiss that ultimately stimulates sexual activity — that is what an erotic kiss is all about and as I was doing more research on the topic, do you know what seemed to be a common thread? If you want to be a master at erotic kissing,the tongue needs to be heavily involved. Why is that?
Well, a kiss that involves the tongue is sexiest by far because, when the tongue is used, it helps to increase your and your partner’s sensory stimulation levels. When this happens, even more nerve endings are involved and that, along with what the exchange of saliva brings to the table — whew, chile.
Then there’s the fact that — well, let’s not act like tongue kissing doesn’t mimic intercourse in some ways. Mouths are wet. We (as women when we are aroused) are wet. Tongues penetrate mouths. Penises penetrate us. And doing an act simulates a peak intimacy one, that is definitely EROTIC (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”).
So yeah, y’all, if you want to engage in a truly authentic erotic kiss, tongue action needs to happen: kissing in the mouth and involving your tongue and also using your tongue to kiss, lick, enjoy other areas as well — earlobes, collar bones, shoulders, backs…and…anywhere else that stimulates you (and your partner). Make sure it’s hot. Make sure it’s lust-filled. Make sure it’s memorable.
How to Be an Unforgettable Erotic Kisser
Providing you with some facts about kissing wasn’t the only reason why I wanted to pen this, just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s also because, as I’ve said in a couple of other articles before, there is such a thing as a kissing orgasm — and if you’ve never experienced one before, there is certainly no time like the present to do so…and (probably) the best way to get there is through an erotic kiss.
And here’s the thing: Even though an erotic kiss is sho ‘nuf a gateway drug to oral sex and intercourse if you want to get a bit more creative, there is data to back up that you can have an orgasm without your breasts or genitalia being (directly) involved. A kiss — the right kind of kiss — can make that happen too; especially if you follow the following five tips:
1. Go slow. Even though I’ve always found the phrase “make out” to be sort of corny, it does kind of fit when it comes to this article. You know, I’ve shared before that when it comes to the average time that most people want to spend experiencing intercourse, it’s 7-13 minutes; however, something that is both sweet and sensual about making out is, because there is not “set goal” (like an orgasm), there also is no rush. You’re kissing and enjoying each other, pretty much “just because” — and that is a great basis for experiencing an erotic kiss. Just soaking in your partner’s presence. No more, no less.
2. Work your “muscle.” By here, I mean your tongue, everyone (LOL). Gently. Seductively. Intentionally. And get creative too. This tip is not just about the classic French kiss. Lick lips. Lick earlobes. Lick necks. Find ways to use your tongue to turn your partner on without bringing genitalia into the picture as well. Yeah, there’s no doubt that one of the reasons why an erotic kiss is so supreme is because it finds places beyond the obvious to cultivate — not just sexual stimulation but emotional intimacy as well.
3. Enhance the “flavor.” I’m always going to be a fan of sex condiments (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”) and y’all, kissing with a bit of honey or chocolate syrup on your lips? Need I say more? I think not.
5. “Dance.” Something that I don’t think is said enough is kissing is a lot like dancing. There is a “rhythm” to it. Without speaking, couples are communicating. And the longer you do it, all the while paying attention to what your partner is doing, a signature groove can be found. While writing this, I thought about the best kisses I’ve ever had in my life and definitely what made them memorable is the fact that my kissing partner wanted me to really and fully experience them and I felt the same — and the more that happened, the more intensified the kissing got. Wanna have the ultimate erotic kiss? Treat it like a dance, chile.
5. Be in the moment. Then stay there. An erotic kiss is a lot like orgasmic meditation (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) in the sense that both encourage you to get into the moment and then stay there. There’s no pressure. There’s no agenda. There are simply two sets of lips and tongues and nothing but time. Erotic kissing simply encourages you to take full advantage of this fact.
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An author by the name of Sylvia Plath once said, “Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” I’ve always liked that quote because it’s got so much confidence in it. She basically said that one kiss from her and you’ll grasp just how significant, to you, she actually is. And gee, won’t that preach?
This Valentine’s Day, kiss your partner with that kind of resolve in mind.
Take it up a notch by making sure that it’s erotic.
It’ll be hard to forget you or this Valentine’s Day if you do.
I can damn near guarantee it.
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