Just a couple of days ago, I was talking to my client about how, when she’s tired, she has a tendency to overexaggerate things (meaning, she turns "making mountains into molehills" into an art form). Since she works from home (in part, by homeschooling her kids), I presented the option of taking power naps in order to “refuel” a bit so that she’s not running on fumes. I literally laughed out loud when she said, “I think I can do that,” and then followed that up with, “I can read a book for like 30 minutes while the girls have quiet time.”
Chile, I said take a nap — not find something else to do. LOL.
It really is kind of wild that one in three Americans don’t get enough rest because when a person is sleep deprived (or their sleeping patterns are all over the place), that can cause all sorts of issues with their health, including stress, anxiety, a weakened immune system, high blood pressure, respiratory and digestion challenges — and, if you’re a woman, even problems with your vagina.
Yeah, you probably never even thought to connect the dots between sleep and vaginal health; however, we’re gonna get right into that today because I am going to share seven ways that not getting enough sleep can cause all kinds of drama as far as your vagina is concerned.
1. Sleep Deprivation Can Cause a Hormonal Imbalance
GiphyI feel like lately, something that I have been saying more than usual to my female clients is that they should get their hormonal levels checked. Whether it’s due to them suddenly having a low libido, erratic mood swings, and/or feeling exhausted throughout the day (for many days at a time), once a woman is over the age of 35, it can never hurt to see if she is in a later stage of perimenopause than she might think (because you can be there anywhere from a few months to a decade with the average age of menopause being 51) — and when you are going through that season of life, your hormones are definitely going to be a bit off-kilter.
Know what else can get your hormones to be topsy-turvy? Sleep deprivation. When you don’t get enough rest, that can throw off the balance between your estrogen and progesterone levels — and when these are low for a significant period of time, that can put your vagina into a state of atrophy where your vagina starts to become thinner and potential the walls of it can become inflamed.
2. Sleep Deprivation Can Cultivate Vaginal Dryness
GiphySomething else that can happen when your hormone levels aren’t where they should be is it can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to spike to the point where it keeps your sex hormones from functioning what they should. As a direct result, that can lead to vaginal dryness. This is especially common in menopausal and post-menopausal women.
3. Sleep Deprivation Can Lead to Irregular Periods
GiphyIf you haven’t been getting 6-8 hours of sleep on a consistent basis, and it seems like your period isn’t as predictable as it used to be, please don’t just shrug that off. There is plenty of research out here that says if you don’t get enough shut-eye, that can result in inconsistent menstrual cycles and even light bleeding in between them. In fact, one reputable study says that as much as 46 percent of women who have erratic sleep patterns end up with an irregular cycle.
The main reason is that a lack of sleep puts stress on the body; plus, it can disrupt how your body produces melatonin — and since melatonin helps to regulate your period…well, I’m sure you can see how this all ties in together.
4. Sleep Deprivation Can Make You More Susceptible to Infections
GiphyBeen getting more yeast infections lately? How much have you been prioritizing rest? Yep, if you’re not getting enough sleep, something else that can happen is you can find yourself more susceptible to vaginal-related infections. And just how is that? Long story short, plenty of data backs the fact that a lack of sleep can compromise your immune system.
That’s because sleep helps your body to release proteins known as cytokines, and they are what help to ward off inflammation and infections (including bacterial vaginosis because the more rest you have, the less stressed your system is and the less likely it is that type of infection will be an issue for you). So, if you’re sick of buying Monistat or taking a Diflucan pill, think about your sleep patterns; they could be why you have to focus on those things so much right through here.
5. Sleep Deprivation Can Create Fertility Complications
GiphyTwo of the points that I’ve already touched on actually help to emphasize how sleep deprivation affects fertility because if your hormones are all over the place and your period is irregular, both things can affect ovulation and conception. What might surprise you the most, though, when it comes to this particular point is the fact that if your sleep patterns are erratic because you don’t know how to put your phone down at night, believe it or not, the blue light that comes from your device can impact your melatonin levels.
Why that is relevant when it comes to fertility is because melatonin is a hormone that actually helps to protect your eggs. The more you know, chile.
6. Sleep Deprivation Can Tank Your Libido
GiphyOne of the main reasons why I’ve written articles for the platform like, “These 12 Tips Will Improve Your Sleep Patterns. And Your Sex Life.” and “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand” is because it’s a scientific fact that sleep and sex influence one another in some pretty profound ways — and yes, when you’re not getting 6-8 hours of sleep on a consistent basis, your libido can also suffer. A lack of energy, a drop in testosterone (for men and women), less of a desire for sex — these are just some of the things that can happen when you’re not getting enough zzz’s.
So, if you’ve been having a ho-hum attitude about sex lately, ask yourself if your sleep patterns could be the culprit.
7. Sleep Deprivation Can Make It More Difficult to Orgasm
GiphyLast one. Even if you’re up for having sex, if you’re not climaxing as much as you usually do, a lack of sleep can cause that as well. According to science, sleep deprivation can impact your sexual and genital response (including how easy it is for you to get sexually aroused), compromise how blood circulates throughout your system (and the better your blood circulation is, the more intense your orgasms will be) and how ultimately satisfying your sexual experiences will be. So, if orgasms have been pretty hit-or-miss as of late, how much sleep have you been getting, sis? Straight up.
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Honestly, I’m hoping that before you even read this, you were being intentional about prioritizing rest. If not, though, I hope this convinces you to start. Knowing that less rest can cause vaginal itching or no orgasms? CHILE, PLEASE. You better catch some zzz’s!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
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