Most women are taught to be strong, particularly black women. For centuries, we've tended to the slavemaster's children while trying to raise our own. We've endured unequal pay for equal work. We've endured senseless murders by those who were supposed to protect us. Recently, I saw a post on Instagram about black women being called strong, it read:
"Please stop calling black women strong as a compliment. 'Strong' is why our mortality rate in medicine is high. Strong is why our pain is not taken seriously. Strong is why there is less empathy for us. Strong is why we're put last in every movement, because we can 'handle' it."
Reading that post made me realize that this false sense of always feeling the need to be strong is sometimes the very thing that can silently kill us. We take on so much, push past so much, endure so much until it is usually to our own detriment. During one of the happiest moments of my life, I found myself literally crumbling inside.
In April, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. For years, I'd prayed to one day have a daughter. The day finally came and as soon as we arrived home from the hospital, I started to feel everything but joyful.
I felt sad, overwhelmed, and I couldn't shake it. I Google-searched my symptoms and the first thing that popped up was PPD, also known as postpartum depression.
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I had to Google it because this was something I'd never heard discussed among my family or mommy friends. Why is that? It may be because we typically hold these kinds of things inside and deal with them as best as we can. Sometimes we hold it in because we want to feel strong and admitting these feelings could be presumed "weak"... but that is completely false.
Having a child during a pandemic was one of the loneliest, most mentally exhausting things I had ever done.
It was mentally exhausting because of the constant thought of how to best protect my daughter to make sure she doesn't get COVID-19. In addition, due to all of the social distancing, we didn't get to spend this time with family and friends. Although I had my husband and son, I couldn't quite explain what I was feeling so I tried to deal with it on my own. I would pray daily and simply ask God what is wrong with me while crying in the shower. It became an everyday occurrence. Then, I decided to talk to my husband about it.
He was so supportive and understanding, and it was the positivity I needed. I then decided to seek professional help to try and get through it. Nine weeks later, I still have days where I just don't feel like myself but things are getting better. Although what worked for me may not work for the next woman, I wanted to share a few ways that I was able to better manage my PPD.
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Do Something Productive
The work that I do for my clients as a publisher brings me joy so I began to work more to keep my mind occupied and my days productive.
Prioritize Self-Care
Even if it's just a quick walk around the neighborhood, do something that'll get you active. Studies show that even just 30 minutes of outdoor activity can have significant benefits for our mind and health.
Utilize Online Resources
With social distancing in place, there are a ton of virtual therapy sessions available. Open Path Collective is a great, affordable therapy option.
Have A Support System
There are people around you who care and would love to be there for you. Reach out to someone that you trust and share how you're feeling. Their positivity will boost your spirit and help you through.
Remember, you are not in this alone. There are other women battling the same thing. Be patient with yourself. You just gave birth to a beautiful miracle, it's OK to take your cape off for a moment. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to discuss what you're feeling, and to seek help takes true strength.
You'll always be Superwoman, but even the strongest heroes need a little extra love and encouragement sometimes. You've got this.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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