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It's great to check a few of the tried-and-true popular U.S. and global locales off your travel wish list, but it's even better to add a few other spots that are not quite as overpopulated with tourists. You can create a few unique memories and get those IG moments that don't seem so overdone or cliche while exploring a different part of a country.
Now that travelers are packing airports again, it might be a good idea to visit a few top destinations that are off the beaten path. These spots are just as enjoyable, are often much less pricey to visit, and allow for a different travel experience. Check out a few options below.
JAMAICA: Lucea
While tourists often flock to the resorts and beaches of Montego Bay, Ocho Rios, or Negril, Lucea, a region in Hanover Jamaica, is definitely on the come up as a must-visit town. Located less than an hour away from Negril, Lucea is home to the luxe Grand Palladium resort properties, where you can enjoy all-inclusive amenities with affordable and luxe options.
The ride alone, from both Kingston's Norman Manley Airport and Montego Bay's Sangster International Airport, is colorfully lush, peaceful, and beautiful. You can get a glimpse of history with a stop at Fort Charlotte, one of the oldest structures in the region reflecting the days of shipping and pirates, and you can enjoy a bit of water fun at Bull's Bay Beach, Paradise Falls, or Dry Hill Falls.
CAMAROON: Yaounde
While everyone flocks to popular cities in West or South Africa, this capital of Cameroon can be a perfect spot to check out, even if it's part of a tour of central Africa. There's hilly terrain with a city center, and key public monuments to visit include the Monument of Reunification and the National Museum. Other interesting places to go are the Mefou National Park, which houses a world-famous primate sanctuary, or the Boise Sainte Anastasie, an oasis of gardens and groves in the city. And of course, a visit to Africa is not complete without visiting a vast open market for street food, handmade items, and souvenirs, and Marché a Bafoussam is one of the most popular.
NEW ZEALAND: Cook Islands
Travel enthusiasts have said this location often gives Hawaii vibes, and you'd definitely be able to enjoy the beauty of lagoons, particularly the Muri and the Aitutaki, glorious mountains like the Te Rua Manga, and beaches like Black Rock, that aren't as overpopulated with tourists during certain seasons as other South Pacific islands. The Punanga Nul street market is also where you can find fresh fish, fruit, and clothing, and the famous Trader Jack's restaurant is a local favorite.
DUTCH CARIBBEAN: Saba
Known as the region's smallest island, it has a legendary solar park that provides electricity for the whole island, and it has a luxe, but small-town feel with the island vibes. Cove Bay, a swimming area noted for its black rock and park, is a popular place where you can enjoy mountain and ocean views. The town includes delightful white homes with signature red roofs, several of which are vacation rentals or boutique hotels. The region also has a rainforest, which is also a must-stop for hikers. Other spots to visit are the Harry L. Museum, located in a 19th-century home of a sea captain of the day, the Queen's Hotel Restaurant part of the exquisite resort and spa property, and the Kakona, an arts center and shop.
SPAIN: Cartagena
Visitors enjoy coming to the region for Cartagena’s ruins, particularly the Roman theater. The city is full of art deco allure, prominent among buildings found along Calle Mayor, the main street, and another great place to check out is the Punic Walls remains. You can also local cuisine, featuring fresh fish and rice dishes that travelers rave about.
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For some time now, the Human Design System has been picking up mainstream traction! And like so many other explorative journeys, the concept of Human Design took off via social media. Similar to Astrology, Human Design requires your birth time and date, and it also provides a map of sorts to help you navigate this world with purpose while being uniquely you (and tapping into your purpose). In fact, if you desire, the information can work simultaneously with Astrology.
The Human Design System is comprised of four different archetypes: Manifestors, Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors. And the first step is figuring out which archetype you fall under, which you can do here. In order to get a better understanding of what Human Design is, we spoke with Human Design experts and hosts of DayLuna Human Design Podcast, Dana Stiles and Shayna Cornelius. Because I’m certain there will be burning questions surrounding love and HD, the DayLuna co-creators also share the best way to use the concept to deepen our romantic connections.
So, how can this information help you connect more intimately with your partners? Well, as excited as we are to share, we should begin by giving you an expert definition of Human Design and go from there.
What is Human Design?
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Though some refer to Human Design as ‘the new Astrology,’ Dana and Shayna expound on the definition, explaining, “Human Design is the science of differentiation. It is a modality that shows us how we are uniquely designed, how we are meant to use our energy in a different way than other people, and what our unique gifts and life purpose is.”
Furthermore, the co-creators add that it “pinpoints the way in which our energy flows as an individual while offering strategies and insight on how to use our energy correctly so that we can find personal alignment as we live our unique life purpose.”
The composition or roots of HD are a combination, utilizing ancient and modern sciences. “It synthesizes wisdom from the Chinese I-Ching, Western Astrology, Hindu Chakra System, and the Kabbalah Tree of Life and integrates this wisdom with Genetics, Quantum Mechanics, Astronomy, and Biochemistry,” they add.
How Human Design Works Similar to and With Astrology
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Earlier we discussed very briefly that there are similarities between Human Design and Astrology and that the two could even be paired together. Dana and Shayna highlight this similarity further by saying, “Like Astrology, Human Design can tell you about your personality and how you operate, however, it is much more specific and detailed because it breaks each zodiac archetype down into smaller traits, which you may or may not have depending on your chart.”
They continue, “Understanding what your Human Design gifts are in these placements along with your own North and South Node zodiac placement is powerful in understanding your life purpose!” Our life purpose is something so many of us are in constant search of, which is why we even find ourselves drawn to religion, Astrology, or Human Design to begin with.
As humans, we are constantly in search of something “more” that informs us of why we were placed on this planet. And we do this to initiate and cultivate day-to-day guidance on the way to finding answers to our questions.
Human Design + You, Me & Intimacy
Now that we know how Human Design can help us connect more deeply with ourselves, how does HD help us flourish in our external relationships? In a nutshell, the answer is self-love but with HD we can get more specific about what that looks like…thankfully. If you’ve ever been told to love yourself as the solution to finding romantic love, you know how batshit crazy the standalone advice without any guidance can be. But because HD goes in-depth, it can help you get to the bottom of what that may look like for you and how to best honor that.
When discussing the best way to elevate relationships using HD, Dana and Shayna pointed out that “understanding yourself, how you best operate, and how you are interacting with other people around you is so important when it comes to conscious relationships. Awareness always has to start with yourself. When you fully understand yourself and what alignment looks like for you, you can then understand others and release judgment and comparison.”
Moving forward, “This leads to more self-love and love for others. If you are struggling in a relationship, we invite you to get clear on who you are and how you best make decisions that are energetically correct for you (your HD chart can show you how) and then start making decisions within your relationship in this new way! This is the fastest way to transform any relationship in your life and even attract your dream partner.”
HD works by helping you to honor yourself first or so it seems. The one place that it differs from how we (mainstream culture not to be confused with experts) have begun to discuss Astrology is that no archetype is to be villainized. That said, there is no such thing as dating the wrong HD profile. According to our experts, you simply learn what and who feels in alignment with you, your truth, and your journey.
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“There are no Human Design charts that are better or worse when it comes to pairing/partnership. Human Design teaches you how to become your own authority in life and how to feel when something is in alignment for you or not. You then can make your own decision on if someone is right for you or not and trust that the truth you are feeling is energetically correct for you. Understanding your partner's chart is huge in understanding how you are both different/similar to each other. The best way to navigate any obstacle will become crystal-clear with this awareness.”
Additionally, the expert co-founders shared that there are three types of “connections” that you may stumble upon “depending on your charts”:
- Electromagnetic spark connection: where you feel the chemistry when you are together, fireworks, and a sense of the feeling of "you complete me."
- Friendship connection: where you have a lot of similarities in your charts and you feel a sense of "you get me."
- Dominating connection: where one person leads in this area and the other follows and that feels good for both of you.
The two add that this just scratches the surface of how you may be connecting with your partner as you may have a combination of all three.
According to the experts, similar to humans, Human Design is complex and therefore deeply profound when you discover yourself through this system. As much as we seek out love, every piece of wisdom left behind for us indicates that the work begins and ends with us. By no means is this saying you must be healed and whole before you find love, but that you must be aware and have insight into yourself to even begin to know what you’re looking for when it comes to love.
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The more Saweetie prioritizes her mental health, the more gems she drops in the process. The “Icy Chain” rapper has been open in the past about her mental health struggles due to being overworked and not properly taking care of herself. After having a few mental breakdowns, she has been on a mission to put her health first and focus on self-care.
In Jubilee’s Recipe for Change: Amplifying Black Women video, Saweetie opened up to Kelly Rowland, Angelica Ross, Elaine Welterorth, and former Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms about her self-care steps and her three B’s which stand for balance, breaks, and boundaries.
"Balance, not only do we work hard, but we need that love, that girl time, that support because if we're always working, we're not watering that other side of us,” she said. “And I feel like everybody is like plants — we all need to be watered. And if we're not watered, we'll wilt."
Saweetie, whose real name is Diamonté Quiava Valentin Harper, went on to explain the importance of taking breaks.
"Breaks, I always tell the young entrepreneurs, the young go-getter ... team no sleep? No, that's not cute. No, please get your rest, drink your water, replenish yourself mentally physically, spiritually, all that — cause I've done it before."
Lastly, the rapper touched on boundaries and gave an example of how to set them even if it means upsetting others.
"And then, boundaries. Set your boundaries. I'd have a long workday and if it was someone's birthday, I'd feel like I had to go, but I had to create boundaries. Whether you're mad or not, just know that I love you. I respect you, but I can't do it. Because if I'm drained, I won't be able to serve you — and I love serving people. But those are things that I learned 'cause I was burnt out."
In previous interviews, the newly named global cultural consultant for Champion has also shared some other ways she prioritizes her mental health. She believes in meditating and remaining centered. She even chopped off her hair to reflect the woman that she is today. In an interview with The Real, she said. “I just feel like I’m at a very transitional point in my woman life, my human life, my artist life and I wanted to start fresh.”
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Black women have been redefining what wellness looks like since the beginning of time. (I even have a real-life, sassy, still-walking-signifying-driving-gardening example of this via my own 92-year-old Granny, who is the epitome of manifestation and self-preservation, as she has always defined wellness on her own terms.) We continue to shift the narrative, especially when it comes to what "wellness" actually means as a Black woman in a world where it can be so hard to simply exist in fullness.
There are many key voices that have not only solidly, boldly, and intelligently challenge stereotypical and sometimes toxic "norms" of protecting one's peace and maintaining great physical, mental, and spiritual health, and cultivating ideas, methods, and communities that cater to our unique needs. Here are a few you should check out on social and beyond:
Ashlee Wisdom and Eddwina Bright
This duo's digital portal, Health In Her Hue, goes beyond just being a healthcare provider directory for Black and brown women to being a robust resource on topics including reproduction and heart health, LGBTQAI+ inclusivity, and mental wellness via a community of advocates pushing for access and exposure to culturally competent care providers.
Britney Victoria Alston
Britney Victoria Alston is a plant-based chef trained at London's elite Le Cordon Bleu, and while vegan eating is far from a new concept, Britney is leading the charge for a new generation to explore journeys toward wellness in a way that is inclusive and relatable. Through education and recipes, she's using her faith-based platform, The Holistic Fox, to enlighten and empower.
Lalah Delia
Lalah Delia is giving power in peace and balance through her podcast, book, and social platforms. The author, educator, and School of VIbrations founder is representing for sistas in wellness lovely, as seen via herrecent work with Deepak Chopra's app, as well as her own uber-successful wellness platforms on social and IRL.
Imani Tutt
Can't have a list about women in wellness without including someone who tackles matters of the heart. Imani Tutt, a licensed marriage and family therapist, covers issues related to intimacy, heartbreak, and "soul-centered" explorations of both love of self and others, overseeing a private community that provides a safe space to venture.
Dr. Ebony
What's intriguing and noteworthy about this psychologist's work is that there's a focus on trauma recovery, particularly issues related to PTSD and identity, and food relationships, tapping into the mental aspects associated with eating habits and choices. Dr. Ebony is also the creator of My Therapy Cards, a tool that allows users to ask self-exploratory questions to reach their life goals.
Dr. Ala Stanford
A board-certified adult and pediatric surgeon, Dr. Ala Stanford is one of the leading voices on the disparity minorities face related to COVID-19 prevention and treatment. She's also one of President Joe Biden's regional director appointees for the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services and is a featured expert in the Oprah-led documentary, The Color of Care. As a health justice advocate, she's helping to keep the issues of the pandemic—which is definitely not over, especially in terms of the negative impact on Black and brown communities—at the forefront. Talk about taking up space, being a thought leader, and using one's voice for the greater good. Major boss moves, indeed.
Jessamyn Stanley
Jessamyn Stanley has been unapologetically making yoga and fitness more inclusive for several years now. And today, we're seeing more of the now-author and podcast host who further flourishes in front of cameras for brands including Ivy Park, Gatorade, and Target, just to name a few. She reminds us all that the foundation of wellness is strengthened by confidence, authenticity, and self-love.
Dr. Kera Nyemb-Diop
Dispelling myths about food choices while empowering Black and brown women, this trained nutritionist is redefining what healthy eating truly means. Dr. Kera Nyemb-Diop pulls very few punches when it comes to giving the real on the intersectionality of culture and cuisine and what nourishing ourselves really means.
Dr. Janelle Howell
Not to seem biased but the greatness started with the first name. Ha! And anybody combining the use of the word "coochie" with raw but real insights about sex, reproductive and vaginal health—and has the knowledge and training in women's health physical therapy to back it all up—is certainly a winner in the wellness education department. From debunking popular ideas about the benefits of vaginal "washes" to informing her thousands of IG followers about the true makeup of the clitoris, Dr. Janelle Howell is making sure we all remember that responsible conversations about wellness indeed include sex and pleasure advocacy (as they should.)
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We all know what it is to love, be loved, or be in love – or at least we think we do. But what would you say if I were to tell you that so much of the love that you thought you’d been in was actually a little thing called limerence? No, it doesn’t sound as romantic – and it’s not – unless you’re into the whole Obsessed-type of love. But one might say at least one side of that dynamic might be…thrilling.
Personally, I always understood limerence (from my time in college psych) to be a crush. However, not in the cutesy crush way (maybe if you’re 9) that you may be thinking – it’s a very one-sided connection. And though I tend to be good with words, I thought it might be far more helpful to get a more in-depth answer to the burning question: what is limerence? Every expert pretty much said the same thing, give or take. They essentially described limerence as a rash without much logic, and quick to burn with little to no substance.
CEO and Professional Matchmaker with Something More Julia McCurley gives us a more detailed description of limerence, stating that it "often leads people to make impulsive decisions being under the belief that they have found utmost chemistry with someone they have just known for a short time. The love at first sight, or limerence relationship, is based on overwhelming attraction, possibly lust, that may or may not lead to real love."
The Object of Your Heart’s Desire
Katina Tarver, a relationship expert, tells us, “Limerence is all about emotional dependency, intrusive thoughts, and a strong desire for emotional reciprocation. The person who suffers from limerence is called limerent, and the person who is desired is called a limerent object or LO.”
New Limerence
Expert Sheila Eugenio speaks on the early stages of limerence, explaining, “In the beginning stages of limerence, it's easy to tell the difference between limerence and love because they are both very different feelings. However, as time goes on and if you start to feel like you're in love without ever being in limerence before, it might be difficult to tell the difference between them.”
Punching a Clock
Limerence, similarly to love, doesn’t have a timeline, it mostly depends on the variables: commitment, compatibility, and reciprocal interest (at some point). Limerence itself can be as brief as a week or as long as a year(s).
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What Love Is
Licensed Psychologist and Owner of LifeWise David Helfand explains that “limerence is when you can’t objectively assess your partner because you are high off just being with them. Love is when you can see them truly for who they are, and still choose to be with them.”
Psychotherapist Valentina Dragomir provides us with the main differences between the love and limerence in a nutshell:
- Love is founded on trust, mutual respect, and genuine caring. Limerence, on the other hand, often starts with an intense but one-sided attraction.
- People who are in love tend to be more rational and level-headed. Those who are limerent may act impulsively and do things that they wouldn't normally do.
- Love is something that grows over time. Limerence, however, is often a sudden and all-consuming feeling.
- Love is based on reality, while limerence is often fueled by fantasy. People in love see their partner for who they really are, warts and all. Those in limerence may idealize their object of desire and ignore any negative qualities.
- Love is healthy and supportive. Limerence, however, can be obsessive and even harmful. People in love want what's best for their partner. Those in limerence may be more interested in what they can get from the other person.
How Limerence Plays Out
Founder of Find Black Therapist, E.L. Forrestal, points out that “limerence can sometimes develop into love, but it is not always the case. There are many factors that contribute to whether or not limerence will turn into love, such as the level of commitment and investment in the relationship, how well the couple communicates and gets along, and whether or not there is mutual trust and respect.”
Love Takes Many Forms
We like to view love as something that lasts forever, but Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist and Curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum Carol Queen reminds us, “Love comes in many flavors beyond romantic and erotic, the kind of relational love we think of when, say, people couple up. While people commonly think of this as a long-term experience, many couples do not sustain long-term love; and it's possible to experience long-term love with someone outside of the monogamous partnership model that people frequently think of when they hear that word.”
Though there are plenty of similarities, it seems that limerence and love can be distinguished with a little bit of discernment and of course, my favorite word…introspection. Still, as humans, it doesn’t always happen that way. Unfortunately, that’s when it goes from being a harmless crush to a weird obsession.
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