Creative entrepreneur Ri Turner knew exactly what she was doing when she named her wellness brand "for the healthy hoes." The initiative has spawned merch, a community, and a podcast that is all about healing through the safe space of community. In a world where the wellness space can seem sometimes Lilly white and accessed by few due to differences in race, privilege, status, and money, "for the healthy hoes." speaks to the everyday human and makes the journey to healing accessible to all.
At 31, the Arkansas-based creator is all about health being wealth, but also about not needing money or a certain status to be well in life. For Ri, it's wellness, but keep it casual, and that is something we can get behind.
The seed of her online presence was planted in her college days, where Ri says she first fell in love with the process of video content creation. "As I continued to grow and evolve, there was a pivot in my content," she tells xoNecole. "This ultimately led me to creating a podcast where I share pieces of my journey and just have everyday conversations that I would otherwise be having with my partner or myself. What I do for a living isn't a surprise or shock to me at all. I've always known since I was super young that I would somehow connect with the world on a larger scale and build community. I am beyond grateful."
Ri Turner
Courtesy of Ri Turner
As a creative, podcaster, and wife, Ri's online presence is centered around the pillars of consciousness, health, and wellness. If she isn't sharing her perspectives through relatable chats on her "for the healthy hoes." podcast, she is sharing snippets of her life through reset vlogs on her YouTube channel and day-in-my-life videos where her peace radiates through the screen. Ri admits that self-care transformed her life, and it is a message that she shares through the content she produces. Through the gems she has collected in her healing journey, she hopes to connect and help with the healing of others.
In this installment of xoNecole's Finding Balance, we chat with the wife and podcaster about how she spends her mornings, navigating uncertainty, and cooking as the ultimate form of self-care.
Q: How has practicing self-care helped you become a better person?
A: Practicing self-care has completely transformed my life. Simple things like eating well, daily movement, and meditation has helped me get through so many obstacles and challenges. These practices completely changed my perspective on how to approach life. Instead of suppressing my feelings and running away from myself, I now feel everything and embrace all of me with open arms. This has truly allowed me to begin to be the best version of myself.
Q: What is the best advice you could give your younger self on how to navigate your 20s and 30s?
A: F*ck up. Learn from it. Grow from it. Don't force anything at all. Just flow. Embrace the change. It's all part of the plan. Everything is going to work out.
Q: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
A: Breaks are so so so important. It took me a minute to realize it, probably only about a year or two ago in the midst of grind culture. Everything and everyone around us tells us to grind, work, be busy 100 percent of the time. But doing anything, even something you love ALL THE TIME and without breaks, can cause so much burnout.
It'll have you second-guessing if you really love this thing that you thought you loved so much. When in all actuality, all you needed was to press the pause button for a bit. I do not play about my breaks. When I come back from taking a pause, I'm so inspired, refreshed, and ready to work. And that's the point.
"When I come back from taking a pause, I'm so inspired, refreshed, and ready to work. And that's the point."
Q: What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
A: No day is the same. But my work week typically looks like brainstorming and finding inspiration (this could be from my lived experiences or even Pinterest) as well as tons of recording content for my podcast and socials, editing, meetings, working on partnerships with brands, working on designs, or even shipping out orders. Some weeks my workload is heavier, and sometimes it is lighter. I appreciate both!
Q: What are your mornings like?
A: Mornings are my favorite part of the day. I wake up before anyone else in my home does. Before I do anything, I meditate for 5-10 minutes and express gratitude for what I do have and for what's already mine that I cannot see. Lately, I've been going on runs (such an amazing feeling). After my run, I make a smoothie, shower, and get ready for my work day.
Q: How do you wind down at night?
A: Believe it or not, cooking dinner is part of my wind-down routine. Cooking is so relaxing and can really be a meditative experience if you allow it to. After I eat dinner with my family, I do my skincare routine (which is like 2-3 steps) then I like to read and spend time with my family. This usually looks like us all being in the same room, engaging in casual conversation while still all doing our own thing.
Q: When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it? What techniques or tools do you have in place to maintain your sense of self amid chaos?
A: Although I do many things all on my own, like filming myself, editing, etc., none of it is actually challenging for the most part because I've been doing these things for so long. It becomes challenging when my workload increases, and it seems as if there isn't enough time in the day to complete my tasks. What has really helped me out with this a ton is planning. I have always loved planning and writing down my daily/weekly to-do lists. I would be lost without my planner.
Additionally, just taking one step at a time and tying not to think about everything that I have to do because when you think about every single task [at once], it can be super overwhelming. And I find that I actually get nothing done at all because I was trying to do everything. So definitely just focusing on one small thing at a time, and if I'm unable to work through my entire list today, that's okay. I can get to it tomorrow.
Q: Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
A: Self-care can be such a vague term, especially with the up-and-coming popularity of wellness. Although I love things like skincare, my favorite self-care practices are things like meditation, yoga, journaling, cooking myself a wholesome meal, drinking plenty of water, or even writing a love letter to myself.
Q: Oftentimes, when we hear talk about love languages, it is how we give love to others. What is your self-love language, and how do you give that to yourself?
A: I think my love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service. I've had to re-wire my brain because there used to be so much negative self-talk up top. I've made it a priority to speak really nice to myself and just be gentle with myself- which is ultimately words of affirmation. I also love to cook for myself. I believe that this is one of the highest forms of self-love. When you intentionally carve out the time to make sure that you are consuming nourishing meals, that's a form of love that can't be matched. These are two main ways I show self-love and show up for myself.
"When you intentionally carve out the time to make sure that you are consuming nourishing meals, that's a form of love that can't be matched."
Q: When you are going through a bout of uncertainty or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
A: I simply take a step back. This allows me to look at things from a different perspective and remember why I even started in the first place. Going back to my "why" has gotten me through so much uncertainty and helps me see the bigger picture.
Q: Lastly, how do you define "balance" in your life? What does that look like to you in an ideal world? What does that look like in reality?
A: Nothing in this world flows without balance. Balance is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as "an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady." I couldn't agree with this definition more. Not only in the physical sense but also in the literal sense. Without the necessary amount of balance, not much is stable. This is why when I'm overworked or inconsistent with my spiritual practice, my mental health begins to spiral.
Balance to me looks like taking care of your mind, body, and spirit first so that you can effortlessly show up in this world to positively impact those around you.
For more of Ri, follow her on Instagram @riturnerr and listen to new episodes of the "for the healthy hoes." podcast here.
Featured image courtesy of Ri Turner
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When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
I was even more excited about the view from my room. My room overlooked Nichupté Lagoon, and throughout my stay, I would find myself being pulled to take in the view from my balcony or just sit and relax with a good book. The room itself was modern and spacious. The bathroom was a standout, thanks to the grand mirror that hits you when you first walk in and the roomy shower with two waterfall shower heads.
Bedroom
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Bathroom
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Food
If you’re a foodie like me, you’re in luck. Hyatt Vivid Grand Island has five restaurants, a taco truck, a café, and several bars. The first night, I had dinner at their Italian restaurant, Agilo. While I tried many dishes, my favorite was a pasta dish that had a nice kick to it. The next night, I tried their French restaurant, Le Lys, and enjoyed onion soup and ratatouille. But the grand finale was Oishii, a Japanese restaurant that turned out to be my favorite food experience during my whole trip.
The food was excellent, but the presentation for each course was even more exciting. I had a seven-course dinner that included a rack of lamb and mushroom dumplings, and I tried octopus for the first time. The resort is also very accommodating about food allergies and restrictions, which is helpful to those who want to have a stress-free time and not worry about whether what they eat will make them sick.
Octopus
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Rack of lamb
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Activities
As tempting as it is to stay in the room and melt into the cushy mattress, Cancun is all about fun in the sun, and there were many activities to accomplish that. My second day there was mostly spent at the resort’s beach club. It had a couple of pools, cabanas, a full-service bar, and a restaurant that sits right on the beach. As I sipped my many mocktails, I was embraced by the sun’s warmth and immersed in the scenic views of the turquoise waters the Caribbean Ocean is known for.
That morning, I participated in their stretch class that took place on their rooftop. It was a nice way to wake up the body while also being surrounded by 360-degree views of the coastal town. They offer many other activities on-site, including bracelet making, water aerobics, Black Jack, karaoke, and much more. If you’re looking for something a little more relaxed, then you can check out the spa, which offers a range of facials and massages. It did rain on and off during the trip, which made spa day the perfect activity as well.
Rooftop Pool
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Stretch Class
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Beach Club
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Overall, my first time in Cancun was amazing. I met some awesome people, ate some great food, and walked away with a beautiful memory and a tan.
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