

When we speak about certain personal goals, sometimes we don't fully have the expectation that they'll happen sooner rather than later.
Instead, we set goals and allow the Universe to manifest the work we put behind them. For my husband and I, our goal was not to have a baby within our first year of marriage. But, here we are, 36 weeks in our pregnancy, and absolutely loving the journey!
He and I talked about children on our first date, so we knew we were in the same boat with having children…eventually! We got married this past year in May and the original goal was for me to accompany him to China, as he was about to embark on his newest contract as an American Football Coach. I had been teaching high school English in Cairo, Egypt where he and I met and this would be the first time I would not work in 15 years (I'm 30 btw).
So, in the conversation of having children, we agreed on waiting a year “or so", while getting accustomed to traveling together with each new contract and giving me the time and space to start my own business.
Somewhere in the mix, we had enjoyed our “newlywed" status a bit too vigorously.
I remember Mother Nature meeting me a few weeks after he and I got married and then she came no more. I had never missed a cycle and knew that my body had not been playing tricks on me.
And it also helped that the two pregnancy tests that I got from Target popped up two blue lines within seconds. When I told my husband, he was ecstatic. Although planning to have kids was something he and I planned for our future, we were both mentally prepared to be parents in the present as well.
As the time approached to leave for China, I was often flooded with questions and concerns for my health abroad.
People couldn't fathom the idea that I would accompany my husband on a six-city tour in China, while this new life continuously grew and molded itself inside of me. I had friends and family try to convince me to stay in The States, so that I could keep my doctor and be around family and just be on what they considered the “safe side". But, I was going to China with no hesitations.
The decision was mainly because pregnancy was a journey that my husband and I were going to embark on together, much like going to China. We were partners in this venture and I wanted my husband to be around for the first of everything, as this would be both of our first experiences with having a baby.
My husband left out for China a week ahead of me, which left me to fly into the country solo. I had never had a fear of traveling solo because that had been a hobby of mine prior to he and I ever meeting. I flew into Beijing, China in my second trimester at 17 weeks. I had been warned by my husband that the smog level in Beijing was very high and he had equipped me with a face mask for the moments I would be leaving our hotel.
Each week, we traveled to a different city in China, each time I had to fly solo, as the league my husband was employed by purchased all of the tickets in advance for players, staff, and executives – no wives included.
I found myself enjoying the adventures of growing life and maneuvering through domestic airports where “toilet" and “exit" were about the only words in English that were not foreign to me. Tedious, at times, but overall travel gave me a boost of excitement. After Beijing, we traveled to Dalian, China and, as the tour progressed, we ended with six cities that we had explored within a six-week period.
After Dalian, we went to Qingdao, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, and lastly, Shanghai. In those six weeks, I saw the doctor, got my blood drawn, urinalysis, tests, an ultrasound, and all was good with the world. Baby and I both were healthy, even though people tried their hardest to keep me off my feet or from doing anything for myself. We were going to explore as much as his schedule allowed.
I walked a lot and stayed pretty active in China, but as the season came to its end, my husband and I were looking forward to a nice vacation (babymoon) in Thailand. Yup, we were off to another destination. He and I knew that the season would take a lot out of him and we both planned that by this time, we weren't going straight back to The States.
We spent a month in Pattaya, Thailand where we got the most of soaking up the sun, swimming, cheap massages, cheap food, and temple exploration. We also rented a motorbike, that I hopped on readily and some jet skis that I also jumped on the back of with no hesitations. And just for kicks, we flew over to Bangkok a few days before heading out to enjoy what the city had to offer.
The wildest part was as we had enjoyed our vacation, we still didn't have a clue where we were going to be having the baby. I, for my own reasons, had been adamant about not having the baby in The States. Hubby seconded my emotions, however, had two new contracts on the table – one of which was in the states. As we made our way back to the U.S. post-vacation, the Universe had undoubtedly been on our side and we would be having our baby in (drumroll) POLAND! Yes, in Poland.
As nomads, we get up and go.
Onto new destinations, in search of adventure, life, and peace of mind. My husband's career allots the opportunity for us to be in a different country frequently, but only for a few months and then it's onto the next one. As his wife, that's what I had signed up for. My decision to travel while being pregnant stemmed from the notion that traveling provides me a euphoria that could only be a constant release of oxytocin.
For women who have had children and those yet to bear, know that being in your best self and being of a clear, positive mind cultivates an awesome environment for the one you bear in your womb. If I was a celebrity, I'd probably name my child "Zen" because ever since finding out we were pregnant, I vowed that this child would be cultivated and born in that type of atmosphere. Although people have had their concerns, had I listened to others' fears, I don't believe my pregnancy would have been the positive experience that I needed it to be.
So, here we are in Poland at 36 weeks, prepared to bring this new life in the world. Of course, we are making a quick trip to Berlin, Germany as a last adventure before I'm nestled in the house. This is a true testament that pregnancy doesn't have to be done any one specific way. As a pregnant woman, you don't have to be a stereotype or stuck based on the fears and/or standards of others. Life is meant to be lived, for your baby and for YOU.
Granted, not everyone will be able to tell this particular story, but do things in your pregnancy that make YOU happy and allow YOU to feel your best. Just as people find it important to go to a million doctor's appointments or take prenatals, it is just as important to find environments in which you feel you can thrive and be happy.
Go see a movie and a have a nice dinner. Have a girls' night with some friends. Meditate. Travel.
Pregnancy isn't a handicap and we can undoubtedly live life on our terms when bringing another life into the world.
Have you been pregnant or are you currently pregnant? Is there anything that you would do or are doing to get yo' life while you prepare to give life? Let me know in the comments below!
Imani Bashir is a writer, wife, and soon-to-be mother who spent five years as a Sports Broadcaster before a sporadic move to Egypt where she taught English Literature. Imani does not look to stereotypes to dictate her fate and lives by the narrative, "Women everywhere, can be anything they choose!" Follow her journey on IG @SheIsAbroad_ & Snapchat @SheIsImani.
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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