Ariana Grande Talks Suffering From PTSD One Year After Manchester Attack
Last month marked one year since the fatal attack that took place during Ariana Grande's concert in Manchester. The terrorist attack in the U.K. left 20 dead and an estimated 100 people wounded. After the incident, Ariana abruptly ended her Dangerous Woman Tour and began prepping to return to Manchester only 12 days later for a benefit concert dedicated to raising money for the families of the bombing victims.
In the face of tremendous terror, Ariana was able to put on a brave face and serve as a beacon of light to her scared and vulnerable fan base. At the time of the bombing, Ariana was only 23 and in retrospect, this was a tremendous amount of pressure resting on her young shoulders.
Like many of us, Ariana was faced with the task of being "the strong friend", or the one who really can't take time to process their own emotions because they understand the need to be strong for others. Little do we know, those emotions have a way of catching up to us whether we want them to or not.
Jason Kempin/Getty Images
The now 24-year-old songstress recently opened up in Vogue UK's July issue about the long-term effect that the traumatic experience had on her mental health.
"I don't think I'll ever know how to talk about it and not cry."
She shared that the traumatic experience had increased her already high levels of anxiety, and triggered her battle with post traumatic stress disorder. She told Vogue:
"It's hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe, tremendous loss. But, yeah, it's a real thing. I know those families and my fans, and everyone there experienced a tremendous amount of it as well. Time is the biggest thing. I feel like I shouldn't even be talking about my own experience — like I shouldn't even say anything."
She's chosen to open up about her journey because she understands that mental illness is a common issue among our peers, and knows that despite being the "strong friend," she still has to take self-inventory.
"I think a lot of people have anxiety, especially right now. My anxiety has anxiety… I've always had anxiety. I've never really spoken about it because I thought everyone had it, but when I got home from tour, it was the most severe I think it's ever been."
To mend some of the wounds left by the traumatic attack in Manchester, Ariana turned her focus to self-care and investing in her own emotional intelligence. She told People:
"When I started to take care of myself more, then came balance, and freedom, and joy. It poured out into the music. We've messed with the idea of not being able to find the ground again because I feel like I'm finally landing back on my feet now."
Ariana's new song is the first she's released since the bombing. "No Tears Left To Cry" is a joyful tribute to everyone affected by trauma that hope to find happiness again. She says that her new album, entitled Sweetener, is a reminder that each of us can find a way to bring the good out of a bad situation.
As the strong friend, I often forget to check in with me. My ego tells me that I have to be the helper and protector of everyone around me, but I know deep down that I can't fill anyone else's cup if mine is empty. Ariana reminds us that anxiety can be a pain in the ass, but can be managed if we remember to take time to be transparent with ourselves about our own emotions.
Read Ariana's full feature with British Voguehere.
Featured image by Jason Kempin/Getty Images
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images