My life got way more interesting, but my taxes got way more complicated.
Ever studied for a test the night before but found relief that it wouldn’t weigh heavily on your final grade? Well, that’s how I felt with my first move overseas.
It was spontaneous.
It was impulsive.
It was the best decision I’ve ever made, but I wish I was more prepared for the emotional rollercoaster of being 8,000 miles away from everything and everyone I had ever known.
Switzerland
My first move abroad came in 2014 when I took a job in Dubai, UAE. I left all the comforts of home for a new city where I didn’t know a soul, working in a new industry, and living in a foreign land with different cultural, religious and social norms that I would have to learn and obey. After two years in Dubai, my next move brought me to Europe, where I chose to end the long distance and relocate to Switzerland to be with my boyfriend; swapping the sand for snow and prayer calls for cowbells. So, with my second international move, I’ve somewhat conquered the art of being the new kid in town.
Moving away from your home country is an eye-opening experience, but it’s not all bubbles and butterflies. This article may wash away some of that bright-eyed optimism, but I hope that it also leaves you with a more realistic blueprint of how your first few months abroad will go. So, take a few deep breaths, this will only hurt a little.
Here are some things I learned during the process that will help you if or when you decide to move across the pond:
How To Speak Another Language
Well… duh! Moving to a country where English isn’t the official language can be a challenge. I would highly recommend taking some classes to become familiar with your new home language before the jump. It will make your transition a LOT easier. From negotiating rental contracts to navigating your new home on public transit to ordering food, it helps to talk the talk.
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That Getting Residency And Visas Are NOT Easy And Vary Wildly
Depending on your home passport, the restrictions for working and living abroad can vary wildly. You can find the general visa requirements and processing times on the country's immigration site. U.S passport holders can apply for working holiday visas (from 3 months to a year) quite easily in the following countries: Singapore, New Zealand, Australia, South Korea, and Ireland. There are countries that also offer au pair visas. Visas can take days, weeks or even months, but don't be discouraged if you don't hear back for a bit longer than suggested. This also means you should wait until after your visa is approved before booking your flight, looking for a job, and searching for an apartment.
How Excited I'd Get To See Another Woman Of Color
Being an African American woman living abroad sometimes it can be so lonely. I never thought that just by seeing another black girl walking down the street, I’d want to run her down and beg her to be my friend. The struggle is real y’all. There’s just something comforting about having a comrade to vent to about natural hair struggles, lack of pigmented cosmetics or the nightmare of trying to make your soul food staples with subpar ingredients.
That Taxes Get Way More Complicated
All U.S. citizens are required to file annual taxes in the United States even if you're living and working abroad (in addition to your new country), so keep track of your earnings so you're ready to file. If you're leaving early in the year and don't have your W-2 or other tax forms yet, make sure you change your address to someone you trust to collect them for you, like your parents or best friend. There are exemptions you can make to if you live in a country other than the United States for at least 330 days out of a year, but be sure to read up on what applies to you on the IRS website.
How Hard It'd Be To Make IRL (In Real Life) Friends
As we matured, having a group of friends was relatively easy. Chances were that you never had to search for a buddy or two, as you hung out with people you went to school with, lived close by, or had the same interests. But when you move abroad, you must make friends all over again. And trust me, it’s much more awkward than those “will you be my friend?" notes you passed around in kindergarten. As an adult, it takes a conscious effort to meet people and establish close ties. Although social media can mitigate a bit of the awkwardness. Meeting with bloggers you find online, joining local groups, finding a language buddy, or joining expat groups is a great way to meet new people in real life.
That Maintaining Friendships Back Home Takes A Lot Of Effort
In the beginning, everyone will be excited about your new journey, wondering what you’re doing, what you’re eating, who you’re meeting. But the initial period of excitement over your new lifestyle will soon fade. The same things you once cared about aren’t so interesting now. It’s not a bad thing, change is inevitable. Your lives are on very different trajectories and it can be hard for some people to understand what they have never experienced. Ease into this new phase of your life by staying in touch with friends and loved ones back home by using social media, like Facebook, WhatsApp or Skype. Just make sure you have a schedule, a clear understanding of time zones, and a dash of humility.
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How Crossing The Street Would Require Unlearning And Relearning
Pedestrian laws were not all created equal. I never thought that in some countries, just crossing the street would be a #YOLO worthy experience. Observe the flow of traffic, notice whether the cars will stop for pedestrians entering the crosswalks or if you must play a complicated game of survival every time. Also, beware of bicyclists and mopeds that seem to act like cars and bicycles at the same time. I can’t tell you how many times I almost lost my life in Amsterdam trying to cross the road.
That FOMO Levels Are Nearly Inexistent
When I was in graduate school, my fear of missing out (FOMO) was at an all-time high. Having to miss out on homecoming, football tailgates, weddings, or music festivals to study for exams or to prep for a presentation would’ve had me like a cartoon character with steam coming out of my ears. Now, being halfway across the world, I could honestly care less about missing out. Living abroad has turned me into introvert and I don’t mind at all.
Although my experience has been amazing, moving abroad isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen many people who can’t handle the stress and strain of living abroad or don’t bother trying to assimilate the local customs. You have to be able to accept change, have an open mind, be willing to try new things and have a positive attitude.
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Do you want to live abroad? Do you already live abroad? What do you wish you knew then that you know now? Let us know in the comments below!
Related Post: I Dropped Everything to Travel After A Breakup ...And Ended Up Finding Love Again
Coco Hunter is a travel & lifestyle blogger, who has travelled to 30+ countries. She chronicles her global adventures at CocoGoneGlobal.com. Originally from Oakland, CA, she has lived in Atlanta, Dubai, and now resides in Zurich, Switzerland. You can follow her writing, musings and wacky adventures on Instagram @cocogoneglobal and Twitter @CocoGoneGlobal.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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