Beyonce has achieved an entire lifetime's worth of success in both her professional and personal life all by the age of 30. Her journey to this point is so inspirational. To help hercelebrate turning another year older, we've put together the 10 Most Powerful Lessons on Love, Life and Motherhood that we've learned from Beyonce.
Check out her most memorable quotes below!
1. There is Power in Partnership (aka Marriage!)
As a self-proclaimed feminist and humanist, some people were confused when Bey said this on her "Grown Woman" intro. Was Beyonce saying she needed her man to succeed? No. She was successful before her hubby, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter. But did she need her husband to help "enhance" her as a business, brand and wife? Yes. And vice-versa for Jay-Z. Bey also stated in her 2014 "Yours and Mine" documentary:
"People feel like they lose something when they get married, but it doesn't have to be that way. There's nothing more exciting than having a witness to your life... Men and women balance each other out, and we have to get to a point where we are comfortable with appreciating each other
Everybody's not good at everything. It's okay to depend on someone. It's actually what we're supposed to do, we're supposed to depend on each other. And when you find the person that you trust and you love and you feel is going to respect you and take all of the sh-t you have and turn it around and bring out the best in you, it feeds you. It is the most powerful thing you can ever feel in your life.
2. There is Power in Knowing Your Purpose (and according to Beyonce, she discovered her purpose through motherhood)
During an interview with Anderson Cooper a few years ago, a then-new mommy Bey opened up about her love for motherhood and how it has added to her as a mother and overall being.
"We all have our purpose...[Having a daughter] just gives you purpose and all of the things that my self-esteem was associated with, it's all completely different.
[With Blue], I realized why I was born and more than anything all of the things I want to pass onto my child and the best way of doing that is not by preaching or telling her but showing her by example, which is one of the reasons I'm here."
Amazing! As a public figure, it's so important that at the end of the day, leaving an impression on her daughter means more to Beyonce than being impressive as a celeb. Not that she has to try too hard anyway. This definitely gets filed under "The Power of Prioritizing," too. Family first!
3. There is Power in Privacy ("I feel like I'm the property of the public")
Although Bey has certainly learned to live a life of balance, (which is evident from her Tumblr page of various family vacations and the fact that Blue probably has more stamps in her passport at 3 than any of us will ever have in a lifetime), it hasn't been easy being "Bey." The things that come easy to us, come hardest for her. Including a life of privacy- which she forfeited for fame.
"Before I was famous I was a girl, on the heel with a guitar, I was the girl that just wanted a beautiful view of the beach, and now that I'm famous it's really really difficult to do really simple things. I think [privacy] was the hardest thing to give up."
4. There is Power in the ... "Possession" of a Woman
During her Mrs. Carter world tour, Beyonce gave an epic introduction to her "Naughty Girl," track, and it went a little something like this:
“When you become a woman you celebrate who you are and know that sensuality is a gift. This gift gives you power. This power that you can manipulate. This power can celebrate. What would you do with this power? Would you let go? would you surrender? I can make you surrender. If you make the right selection the passion can intensify like a drug. Are you high right now? Can you reach me? Harnessing the power of your body requires responsibility seduction is much more than beauty, it is generous, it is intelligence, it is mysterious, [&] it is exclusive."
5. There is Power in the Process of Success (aka- What "Sleep?")
As a woman who has racked up a whopping 452 total awards in her lifetime, Beyonce is in no way, shape, or form anything less than half woman, half amazing. And of course that doesn't come without a bit of sacrifice:
"I am a workaholic and I don't believe in 'no.' I don't believe in I need to sleep. If I'm not sleeping nobody's sleeping. I'm one human being. It's a lot. If I want to be a businesswoman, I'm a businesswoman. Independence is not easy."
Any questions?
6. There is Power in Pride
After nearly 20 years in the industry, there are a few things that Beyonce has said about independence and having your own, as taught by none other than, "Mama" Tina Knowles:
"My mother always taught me to be strong and to never be a victim, never make excuses, never expect anyone else to provide for me things I can provide for myself. Your self worth is determined by you. You don't have to depend on someone telling you who you are."
Along with our personal favorite, which she once told to Oprah shortly after her marriage to hubby Jay-Z in 2006: "Make sure you have your own life before becoming someone else's wife!" Yes, Bey!
7. There is Power in Pain
"If I hadn't gone through some of the painful experiences in my life, I would not be me."
Beyonce knows a thing or two about pain, conflict and having fear, but she also knows a thing or two about healing and having faith. In her '"Yours and Mine" mini documentary which Bey filmed in honor of the one year anniversary of her self-entitled album, she went on to say:
"I was brought up seeing my mother trying to please and make everyone comfortable. And I always felt like it was my job to fix the problem. A people-pleaser. But I'm no longer afraid of conflict, and I don't think conflict is a bad thing. Because I know that when you grow up, when you learn a few things, you're no longer afraid of letting go, you're no longer afraid of the unknown. You're no longer afraid of going to certain places in your mind and your body and your soul that might make you uncomfortable. And it all starts when you can look in the mirror and say, 'I like that person, you know?'"
8. There is Power in Perception
Beauty is deeper than skin deep and if there is one person who knows that, it is the woman who created the tracks "Flawless" and "Flaws and All," - beautifully ironic, right? Ever the self-proclaimed feminist, Beyonce has once gone on record in her songs and interviews, not only praising the beauty of women everywhere, but embracing their strengths too:
"The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence," while also saying: "We have to reshape our own perception of how we see ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead."
9. There is Power in Imperfection ("Perfection is a disease of the nation.")
"The reality is: sometimes you lose. And you're never too good to lose. You're never too big to lose. You're never too smart to lose. It happens."
Simply said: You win some, you lose some but in the end, only the blessed get to live another day. And another day, means new opportunities. If at first you don't succeed, simply dust yourself off an try again!
10. There is Power in... Power!
"Power is not given to you, you have to take it!"
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
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Unmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
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Okay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
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If off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
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A friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
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It’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
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I once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
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