
Yolanda Adams On The Keys To Success That Have Fueled Her Career & Life

Gospel star Yolanda Adams is more than just a dynamic voice — her wisdom and insight about the journey we call life provides just as much empowerment as does her music. Yolanda's career repertoire expands beyond Gospel and includes roles such as actress, radio personality, author, beauty entrepreneur, and fashion designer. Behind the fame is the story of how Yolanda did it and how we can do "it" in our own lives as well.
During the time we spoke, Yolanda Adams was gearing up for a September appearance at the 2019 Black Music Honors. Yolanda, one of the event's honorees, was looking forward to receiving accolades for her work. "Anytime you're able to be acknowledged for anything you've ever done is a blessing," she told me early on during our call. Yet, she reveals there is a "responsibility that comes along with being applauded and appreciated." The ability to impact is always present. I thought our conversation would be mostly about her career in music, but I soon realized the former schoolteacher and part-time model, turned award-winning singer had a testimony about life and inner purpose to share for xoNecole readers.
Photo Credit: Black Music Honors
"I've always seen my gift as a blessing — to be able to write, deliver, and sing from my heart. I've never taken that for granted. That's a lot of power to be able to get people from a point where they are so low that they feel they can't really go on to making them feel so empowered, they don't even remember feeling depressed or trying to give up. That's huge. You realize you're not doing this by yourself. There's a special power that's allowing you to give this to people so that they can make their lives better. This song makes their life better. This performance makes their life better. They can listen over and over until they are so empowered that they get up and dust themselves off."
Read on to learn more about Yolanda's tips on embracing one's gift, motherhood, entrepreneurship, spirituality, navigating success and more.
Note: responses have been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
xoNecole: Describe your approach to making music.
Yolanda Adams: My goal every time I go into the studio is to take out of my heart and put it on whatever tape and give it to people who need it. If people are dealing with wondering about the economy, let's talk about that. If they're thinking about the love of their life, let's do a song about that. If they're thinking about loss, let's talk about that. Let's sing what the heart of the people need right now. I've never gone into the studio and said let's do a song that will go on mainstream radio or let's do a song that will go to the top of the Gospel charts. That has never been my thinking. My thinking process is always, "Who needs this right now?"
xoNecole: Taking the leap towards our passions and dreams can be tough. What inspired you to embrace your gift?
Yolanda: To anyone who has a specific call on their life and they know they do, never ever think that where God is about to take you is less than where you are right now. God always promotes you. He never demotes you. There will be a leap of faith moment where you have to say, "I can't do this the way I did it before."
I taught for seven years before I went into full-time singing. I had to make a huge decision. It took me a whole year to make the decision that I am really going to do this full-time. It wasn't a struggle to say I'm doing it full-time. The struggle came with doubting myself and doubting the decision I made.
In the face of what seems like a "no" or a deterrent or something that fights what you are feeling, we tend to say, "I shouldn't have done [that]." That's not the truth. You never get to the point of your life where you have nothing to deal with. If you try to avoid resistance, you will never grow.
Yolanda at the Black Music Honors 2019
Photo Credit: Black Music Honors
xoNecole: How do you manage possible discomfort when stepping into your purpose?
Yolanda: We deal with growing pains all of our lives. When you move from having a boss to being your own boss, now everything is really on you. You have to make sure your books are right. You have to make sure you are getting up in the morning. If you are not occupying your time and making sure you are doing something with your talent, you lose your stamina, drive, and purpose. It's the same thing with us when it comes to us thinking life will be problem-less or problem-free. That's never going to happen. You will always have to deal with something. Wisdom and experience teaches you how to effectively deal with what you're dealing with.
xoNecole: What were some of the biggest challenges of your career and how did you deal with them?
Yolanda: One of the things was trying to figure out how to navigate being a single mom and figure out how I'm going to be at home with my child to nurture a great person. Those of us who have been on the road all of our lives, we're always trying to figure out how to make transitions. I said, "God, I have to be home most of the time for Taylor [her daughter]." That's how the radio show came about. I didn't know where it was going to come from. My first degree is Radio & TV journalism.
I knew I was prepared to do it, but I didn't know how it was going to come about. People told me I'd have to move to Los Angeles or New York. Those were out of the question because my child had already established her friendships. I said to the Lord that we were going to have to work things out. Less than a week later, I got a phone call from my attorney asking if I wanted to go into business with [someone]. We had a lot of success with the radio show. I was able to go to every recital and concert. I was able to do everything with her.
When you have to make adjustments...life will make you rethink some of the things you think are permanent. I didn't miss a beat. When you ask God for stuff, in sincerity, knowing that your purpose is not just selfish, God will open windows and doors for you that you never even thought were possible.
Photo Credit: Courtesy of Yolanda Adams
xoNecole: Is there anything about entrepreneurship you wish more people understood?
Yolanda: Brands take work, I don't care what your name is. Every person from Beyonce to Jay-Z to Puffy...everyone who has magnanimous brands can tell you, it takes work. Your hands have to be there. You have to put your foot to the pedal. You have to say, "I believe in this with all my heart. I'm not letting it go." When people tell me "no", I'm still looking for that "yes". One of my mentors B. Smith told me, "Stand on a mountain of no's until you get that one YES." That is one of the biggest lessons I've learned.
If you believe in yourself, it doesn't matter who doesn't believe in you. If you believe in your product, it doesn't matter who doesn't believe in your product. You keep believing until you see what you saw in your vision.
Long-term goals for business is crucial. [You need to] have that marathon runner mentality. Sometimes you may have what seems like an amazing idea in the beginning. You have momentum [and] are doing everything you need to do. Everybody is responding and then the next couple of weeks and months, someone else has a launch [and things die down]. That doesn't negate the amazing product you have. You just have to find a different way to get it to the masses. Social media is wonderful. Build relationships. This is not a sprint. This is a marathon. You still come out the winner if you hang in there.
xoNecole: For those struggling with spirituality and finding their own connection with God, what advice would you give?
Yolanda: Breathe. Give yourself a break. Even the strongest of us have those moments where we say, "Lord, where are you?" Don't worry. You are not by yourself. Those are times when you get quiet. If you want to find God, get quiet. Move away from the phone and people. Ask the hard questions. "What am I doing? What are we doing? Where am I going? How am I going to make it? Is this the end of this? Should I be looking for something else?" The silence and quiet is where you find God. You're not going to find him on Instagram. (Although there are some great preachers and teachers on Instagram.) You find Him in your own spirit, because He's inside. Stop looking for God in the sky.
xoNecole: What are the most important things to keep in mind as we reach for success?
Yolanda: Believe in yourself. If you don't believe in you, no one else will believe in you. You've got to convince yourself that you're the greatest you that was ever created.
Believe in your destiny and purpose. Your destiny is the roadmap to where you are going. It's also the trail you've left behind. What are the lessons you've learned? What kind of knowledge have you garnered about yourself?
Garner great relationships. Your friends, family, and people you put around you will be your cheerleaders and your balcony when you have no idea how you're going to make it. They will be the ones to say you can do this and to keep going. Sooner or later, you're going to hit those goals and you're going to be like, "I did it."
For more on Yolanda, follow her on Instagram. Click here to stay up to date on her 2020 tour and purchase her line of handbags here.
Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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