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To everything, there is a time and a season. King Solomon once said that — and I appreciate him for it because it’s a reminder that, just like earthly seasons come and go, whether we want them to or not, the same happens for seasons in life. And what this means is, at the end of the day, all we can do is prepare.

What’s wild about this pearl of wisdom as it relates to today’s topic is, several years ago, I literally penned an article for the platform entitled, “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?” And, as life would have it, that same year, I also wrote, “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex.” Yes, according to science, when the temperatures drop outside, that is the ideal time to “turn up the heat” indoors.


At the same time, what’s absolutely wild about all of this is, the fall and winter seasons are also when your libido can find itself going through some “not so much in the mood” changes. Yet there goes that seasons thing popping up again because, if after reading this, you can honestly say that you’ve seen yourself in some of these seasonal situations…now you know how to prepare — so that, this year, you can have some of the best sex (in cooler weather) that you’ve ever had.

Let’s get into it.

A Drop in (Natural) Vitamin D Can Lower Your Libido

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Even though vitamins and supplements provide a way for you to get (more) nutrients into your system than what your diet may already be providing you — science definitely believes that the more that you can get nature involved with what you need, the better off you are. That said, it’s no secret that we, as Black folks, have a reputation for being vitamin D deficient and it’s mostly because the natural melanin in our skin makes it harder for us to absorb the vitamin D that comes from sunlight.

Well, since the days are shorter during the fall and winter seasons, what this means is we have to be even more intentional about getting this particular nutrient into our system during that time. And what the heck does any of this have to do with your sex life? Well, vitamin D is a vitamin that actually helps to keep your sex hormones (especially your estrogen and testosterone) levels where they need to be — and so, the less of it that you have in your body, the less of a sex drive you might end up having.

So, if it seems like with cooler weather, you’re not as “in the mood” as you would like, spend more time outdoors when the sun is out, try and keep your window treatments open during the day, take a vitamin D supplement and consume foods like yogurt, tuna, eggs, mushrooms and cheese — they all have plenty of vitamin D in them.

If You’re Less (Physically) Active, It Can Decrease Your Blood’s Circulation

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The more clothes you have on, typically, the less incentive there is to care about your body looking as in shape as it possibly can. Plus, if you prefer to be outdoors when you do get your exercise in, the bitter cold can make you want to do that less and less often. And that is why, it should come as no surprise that it’s common for individuals to pack on a few pounds during this time of the year.

The reason why this is a sexual cause for alarm is because, the more you work out, the more your blood is able to easily circulate throughout your system. Your partner needs this in order to maintain his erections. You need this because your sexual arousal intensifies, plus, you have a greater chance of experiencing an orgasm when your blood circulation is steadily flowing. So, even if running outside isn’t going to work for you right now, at least make sure to do some workouts at home (some videos that you can check out are located right here).

Fall Weather Can Jack Up Your Sleep Which Can Mess with Your Drive

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Something that you shouldn’t rely on is the belief that if you aren’t getting consistent rest, you can just pick a random day and “catch up” on it. Although more studies are coming out that there may be a bit of truth to that theory, it’s far healthier (and more effective) to intentionally get 6-8 hours of sleep every night and to try and take naps throughout the day, if you can.

The relevance of all of this, as it relates to fall (and winter) weather is, something that time “falling back” can oftentimes do is disrupt your sleeping patterns. In fact, what science reveals is, although in theory it might seem like you are “gaining an hour” when time goes back 60 minutes — all it really means is that days are shorter in the sense of nightfall happening quicker…yet it doesn’t really mean that you will sleep for a longer period of time at all.

If anything, you usually end up having your sleep patterns disrupted which can make you irritable, have low-energy and feeling not as interested in sex as usual (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). A sleep schedule can help with this. Definitely consider creating one for this time of year (if you don’t have one already).

Dehydration (from HVAC Units and Consuming Less Water) Can Make You Lethargic

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No matter how many warm lattes, hot chocolates and heated up apple ciders you plan on drinking this fall and winter season — you still need to drink some water (or, at the very least, some herbal tea). The reality is that cooler weather has a way of dehydrating people because cold winds are drying and HVAC units (in order to keep you warm) can be as well. One way that you can remedy this from the outside in is to invest in a humidifier; especially for your bedroom (check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”) — and yes, for the sake of your sex life, definitely drink as much water as possible to keep moisture in your system too.

The method to the madness with this one is water not only helps the blood in your body to flow easier (so that your heart doesn’t have to work as hard), it also has oxygen in it which can help you to feel alert and energized. Not to mention the fact that water also helps your system to produce more natural lubrication, can reduce your stress levels and it can help to keep erectile dysfunction from being an issue (or more of an issue) in your partner as well.

You Might Feel More Emotionally/Relationally Detached in the Cooler Months

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Although, theoretically, it would seem that the fall and winter seasons would make you want to boo/bae up more than ever — seasonal depression (also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder/SAD) can actually make some people pull in and isolate more than what they typically would. It might be because they are moodier than usual. It might be because they feel lonely and depressed. It could even be that the weather, plus the pressure of the holidays, has them feeling overwhelmed to the point where they simply don’t want to be bothered by too much human interaction.

Whatever the case may be, it’s damn near impossible to have sex with someone if you don’t want them around you — which is why the feelings of emotional and relational detachment during fall and wintertime is something else to take special note of.

Your Diet and Your Libido Tend to Give Each Other Mixed Signals

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Cakes. Cookies. Pies. Creamy sauces. Eggnog. Listen, if any time of the year is packed with loads of carbs, it’s the holiday season — not to mention all of the alcohol that’s around. And yes, diet absolutely plays a role in how your libido is gonna act. For one thing, carbs can put your sugar levels on a real roller coaster ride which can have your sex drive all over the place. Then, if you factor in the unhealthy fats that are in a lot of dishes and how fats can lead to bodily inflammation which can, in turn, up your stress levels while decreasing your stress hormones?

Oh, and don’t even get me started on how alcohol can (sometimes) make it challenging for men to keep an erection and men and women to achieve an orgasm. Bottom line here, if you want to have a thriving and fulfilling sex life, there are no seasons to “take off.” Diet is ALWAYS gonna matter.

Holiday Stress Is Well…STRESSFUL

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Spending lots of money. Traveling. Preparing for guests in your home. A busier-than-usual schedule. Trying to keep the peace among all of your family members (check out “This Is How To Keep Your Family From Driving You Crazy Over The Holidays”). Even with all of the “holiday cheer” that comes with the holiday season, there is a ton of stress and anxiety that can come with it as well — and when you’re stressed out, this means more cortisol (your body’s stress hormone) is in your system and that less sex hormones are thriving too.

The irony to all of this is sex is a way to reduce stress levels so…even if you’re not feeling like doing it, try a little bit of “faking it until you make it” — it might just be what your body needs to get you through all of the fall and winter season pressure (and sometimes drama).

Cooler Weather Can Decrease a Man’s Testosterone Levels

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And finally, something that you might want to tell your man is it's pretty common and normal for men’s testosterone levels to drop a tad during the fall and winter seasons — this is due to much of what I’ve already stated: less exposure to natural vitamin D, a compromised diet, not enough rest, etc. This is actually why, when a man is sexually aroused and he takes a cold shower — it works.

The science behind it is it has a way of temporarily decreasing testosterone levels in a man’s blood. Anyway, in order to keep cool weather from wreaking havoc on his testosterone: lowering stress, taking some zinc, avoiding excessive alcohol consumption, getting plenty of rest and putting some ginger or patchouli essential oil in a diffuser can all help out in this department.

Now that you know how to prepare for the weather that is coming, for the sake of your libido, sis…please do.

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