I’ve said before that learning about the most random of things is one of my absolute favorite pastimes (I get it from my daddy). When it comes to this particular topic, though, what inspired it was a conversation that I was having with one of my clients about how to deal with her husband, who is “up” about 70 percent of the time — oh, but when he has a bad day, his energy tends to suck the life out of the house. He’s not mean, he’s just…low. And when she asks him why that is the case, he tends to say nothing more than “I’m just having a bad day.” (When I asked him for myself, he said that stress tends to overwhelm him at times.)
As she was asking for tips on how to deal with him when he’s in that kind of headspace, I ended up reading about the science of bad days, in general. The intel behind it? I don’t think that it will shock a lot of y’all. What it all basically boils down to is, if we think that we’re going to have a bad day or we’re in a bad mood and choose to stay that way, a bad day is exactly what we’re going to have. In other words, our mind has more power than our emotions to create whatever it is that we want (always remember that).
For instance, some studies reveal that more accidents tend to happen on Friday the 13th because a lot of folks put so much focus on it being a “bad luck day” that they end up cultivating circumstances for bad things to happen, oftentimes without even being (fully) aware of it.
Hmm…so if that’s the case when it comes to bad days overall, could there be some sort of correlation between why we have days when we feel way less attractive than others? Let’s do some digging and see.
Is There Really Such a Thing As “Waking Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed?”
GiphyOkay, so before we get into the feeling ugly/unattractive part, since sometimes we call that “getting up on the wrong side of the bed,” how much truth is there to that saying? Good question. Again, when we get science in on all of this, it actually holds some weight and relevance. Probably the easiest way to explain it is our bodies naturally go through what are known as “mood cycles,” and it would appear that our lowest points happen around 5 a.m. while our highest is at 5 p.m. (right after work?!). What can intensify us having a lower mood is if we didn’t get a good night’s rest (or we dreamed something crazy because apparently there is a correlation between dreams and the state of our mental health) — and well, there you have it: waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
So, if there is a scientific reason for being in a bad mood when you get up, can there also be one for not feeling like you look all that great as well?
Why Do You Feel Ugly Some Days and Not on Others?
GiphyIt’s another message for another time, all of the backstories behind why we feel “ugly” sometimes. From the toxicity of the media and its beauty standards to whatever we heard from our parents and caregivers (about what beauty is and isn’t) to how we compare ourselves with our peers to the fact that all of us battle with self-esteem issues at some point or another — the reasons are vast. What I’m tackling today is why it seems like some mornings, we can wake up and grin back at our reflection while, just 24 hours (or a few days) later, we can damn near hate all of what we see…when the reflection hasn’t really switched up much at all.
Are you ready for what I found? When it comes to women, specifically, once again, you can “thank” your period. The word on the street is that when we go through what is known as the luteal phase (which is when our uterine lining thickens in order to prepare for the possibility of a fertilized egg), the increased levels of estrogen and progesterone can wear us all the way out by leading to fatigue, erratic mood swings and, at the end of the day, just feeling kind of crappy overall (especially since that can be when we end up with period pimples and bloating too).
And what if you’re older and you’re shifting out of consistent menstrual cycles as you head towards the latter part of perimenopause and then menopause (and post-menopause)? There is also something known as “perimenopause depression,” where your estrogen levels significantly drop, and that can result in irritability, weight gain, and yes, feelings surrounding low self-esteem.
In fact, since estrogen fluctuates pretty much every month — that can be another cause of semi-unpredictable “ugly” days: when your estrogen is low, you just don’t feel as great as when it is high(er); this is especially the case if your “feel-good hormones” like serotonin and dopamine aren’t where they need to be too.
What Do You Do on Days You Feel Ugly?
GiphySo now that you’re able to somewhat connect the dots when it comes to the reasons why you sometimes just don’t feel your best, is there anything that you can do about it — or do you just have to avoid all mirrors and hope that the next day will be better?
I’ve got a few tips that just might help.
Balance your hormones out (just a bit). Believe it or not, there are certain things that you can do that can help to balance your hormones out rather quickly: exercise; consume more protein (it can help to decrease stress and anxiety); eat less sugar (it can have your hormones going all over the place); take care of your gut (check out “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.”), and take a quick nap (so that you can “recharge”). Also, stepping out into the sun and hanging out with friends can help elevate your serotonin while listening to music and meditating can increase your dopamine.
Put on your favorite color and scent. Color psychology really is a thing (check out “Understanding Color Psychology Will Sharpen Your Lens On Life”). So, when you’re not feeling great about yourself, opt for a hue that professes otherwise. For instance, while yellow represents happiness and, green represents balance, pink represents love and blue represents calm. Also, believe it or not, there are scents that can help you to feel better about yourself, too. Some of those include citrus (it makes you feel joyful and energetic), lavender (it can make you feel more feminine), and sandalwood (it can make you feel sexier).
Do what makes you feel beautiful. I don’t know about y’all, but on the days when I’m “mirror dodging,” it’s easy to stay in that rut. Now I’m in dark colors, I’m rolling my eyes at putting on lipstick, and it’s easier to stay negative throughout the day. If you can certainly relate, the thing to keep in mind is there is “feeling ugly,” and then there is “believing that you are” — and your thoughts are stronger than your feelings.
That said, do what makes you feel beautiful by thinking about the actions that you can take to help with that. Paint your toes another color. Wear something that makes you feel extra pretty. Soak in a long and luxurious bath. Jot down a quick list of things that you love about yourself. Have some really amazing sex! At the end of the day, by definition, "beautiful" is about pleasure and satisfaction — so put your focus on what will cultivate those feelings for you.
___
One of those “days” is coming (again). Hopefully, all of this makes them make more sense.
Sis, you don’t have to take an “I feel ugly out of nowhere” day lying down.
When your hormones are clowning, now you know what to do to feel like your ole’ beautiful self — again.
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
This year's It Girl 100 is a mosaic of brilliance, spotlighting athletes, cultural disruptors, beauty visionaries, and boundary-pushing journalists who embody the spirit of "Yes, And." This digital celebration honors the women who embrace every facet of themselves, proving you can chase the bag and still honor your desire to live life softly.
The women repping for the Sports & Wellness category remind us that greatness is as much about self-mastery as it is about competition. The real flex? Wholeness, on and off the court.
Here's the roll call for xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025: Sports & Wellness.
Rapper and Basketball Player Flau'Jae
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Flau'Jae
Her Handle: @flaujae
Her Title: College Basketball Player
Who's That It Girl: Flau'jae Johnson moves between the court and the booth with rare ease, rewriting the rules on what it means to be multifaceted and unapologetically herself.
Professional Basketball Player A'ja Wilson
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A'ja Wilson
Her Handle: @aja22wilson
Her Title: Professional Basketball Player
Who's That It Girl: A’ja Wilson dominates the court with grace, grit, and unmatched power. We celebrate her as a generational athlete and leader who proves that confidence and compassion are a winning combination.
Professional Tennis Player Coco Gauff
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Coco Gauff
Her Handle: @cocogauff
Her Title: Professional Tennis Player
Who's That It Girl: We honor Coco Gauff for dominating across court and culture. At just 21, she’s collected two Grand Slam titles (US Open 2023, French Open 2025), risen to World No. 2, and launched her own management company — all while using her platform for purpose.
NYT Bestselling Author and Motivational Speaker Tunde Oyeneyin
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Tunde Oyeneyin
Her Handle: @tune2tunde
Her Title: NYT Bestselling Author and Motivational Speaker
Who's That It Girl: Tunde Oyeneyin moves minds as powerfully as she moves bodies. We love her for turning motivation into a mission, inspiring millions to find their strength on and off the bike.
Professional Tennis Player and Entrepreneur
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Naomi Osaka
Her Handle: @naomiosaka
Her Title: Professional Tennis Player and Entrepreneur
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Naomi Osaka as more than a champion, she's a trailblazer who became the first Japanese player to win a Grand Slam and the first Asian woman to hit world No. 1. Her return to the court after motherhood and advocacy for mental health remind us she plays for legacy, heart, and purpose.
Sports Journalist and Broadcaster Taylor Rooks
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Taylor Rooks
Her Handle: @taylorrooks
Her Title: Sports Journalist and Broadcaster
Who's That It Girl: Taylor Rooks is redefining sports journalism with empathy and elegance. We honor her for creating conversations that humanize athletes and elevate storytelling beyond the game.
Track and Field Athlete Anna Cockrell
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Anna Cockrell
Her Handle: @annacockrell
Her Title: Track and Field Athlete
Who's That It Girl: Anna Cockrell runs not just with speed but with purpose. We honor her for her resilience on the track and her advocacy off it, proof that strength of heart matters just as much as strength of stride.
Professional Basketball Player and Comedian Sydney Colson
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Sydney Colson
Her Handle: @sydjcolson
Her Title: Professional Basketball Player and Comedian
Who's That It Girl: Sydney Colson is the WNBA’s comedic powerhouse and heart of the team. We celebrate her for blending humor, honesty, and hustle, showing that laughter is also leadership.
Professional Basketball Player Angel Reese
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Angel Reese
Her Handle: @angelreese5
Her Title: Professional Basketball Player
Who's That It Girl: Angel Reese is unapologetically fierce and proudly feminine. We love her for redefining what leadership looks like in sports and for reminding girls everywhere that confidence is their birthright.
Professional Basketball Player and Model Kysre Gondrezick
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Kysre Gondrezick
Her Handle: @kysrerae
Her Title: Professional Basketball Player and Model
Who's That It Girl: Kysre Gondrezick is a professional basketball player and model, selected 4th overall in the 2021 WNBA Draft. She has played for the Indiana Fever and Chicago Sky
Track and Field Athlete Gabby Thomas
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Gabby Thomas
Her Handle: @gabbythomas
Her Title: Track and Field Athlete
Who's That It Girl: Gabby Thomas races with heart and intellect in perfect sync. We’re inspired by her brilliance both on the track and in public health, proving that excellence has no limits.
Olympic Gymnast Jordan Chiles
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Jordan Chiles
Her Handle: @jordanchiles
Her Title: Olympic Gymnast
Who's That It Girl: Jordan Chiles brings artistry and strength to every performance. We love her for her unwavering spirit and for representing the future of gymnastics with courage and joy.
Professional Tennis Player Taylor Townsend
Credit: Patrice Horton
Taylor Townsend
Her Handle: @tay_taytownsend
Her Title: Professional Tennis Player
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Taylor Townsend for her dual mastery of motherhood and Grand Slam tennis. A former Women’s Tennis Association (WTA) doubles world No. 1 who claimed Wimbledon (2024) and the Australian Open (2025), she also returned to the tour as a mom, proving perseverance, power, and purpose can coexist.
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by xoStaff