Since COVID-19 became a global pandemic in March, the travel industry has taken a major hit. And it's understandable that many people still aren't traveling, even with borders open and stay-at-home restrictions lifted. But, for those of us who live abroad, enjoy taking trips, or have loved ones in other countries, travel during pandemic times is a hard but necessary decision to make.
I'm one of the brave—and to some, crazy—souls who decided to travel shortly after borders reopened. I had my reasons, and so do others who have made the choice to go abroad even with the pandemic still looming. Here are our stories:
(Quick disclaimer: This is in no way meant to encourage travel at this time. It's simply a resource to inform and engage those who might be considering it.)
Image courtesy of Janell Hazelwood
Why I Chose to Travel During a Pandemic:
Janell: I've been in a long-distance relationship for three years, and not being able to see my fiance for months on end became devastating. Jamaica was like a second home, and frequent travel there had been my saving grace. I'd self-isolated for the whole month of March, and I'd been working from home even before the pandemic. I really didn't leave the house—even in the months thereafter—except the occasional walk around my yard or visit to the patio. When I needed food, toiletries, or groceries, I'd just have them delivered and left at my doorstep.
The pandemic brought a lot of hardship to my life, including loss of income, client reductions, and bouts of severe depression. I had flight credits, tickets that could be adjusted, and I was in good health. (I hadn't even had a common cold.) By September, the Jamaican government had reopened borders, so I decided to just go.
Jonathan: I've been in the hotel industry for the past 13 years. In March, I was furloughed as a result of COVID-19 and [was later] terminated. I had planned a trip to Peru in March and the week I was scheduled to depart, they closed their borders. Furthermore, I had planned a five-country tour to India, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, and Hong Kong in April. Needless to say, that was canceled. So COVID changed my life personally and professionally.
I needed a mental break—with being furloughed, moving to a new city, being forced to stay in the house, and the racial tension. That was a lot of trauma to experience first-hand. I needed a quiet place to lick my wounds, recharge, and reevaluate some things.
Francesca: When the pandemic hit, I had plans to return to the Caribbean in time for carnival season. I am a full-time travel and lifestyle influencer, and I cover Caribbean travel pretty extensively. It was shocking to see borders close almost overnight. Some were giving as little as 48-hour warnings before halting flights.
"It was like my whole world changed overnight. It became especially painful as countries started announcing various travel bans."
I wanted to get back to see my partner in Martinique. We had been separated for so long, and I knew once borders started to open that I had to act quickly because just as soon as they had opened, they could very well close again.
Photo by Willy Joseph-Louis
How to Prepare to Travel in a Pandemic:
Janell: Initially there was a bit of confusion on my part about the process. Early on, I'd heard rumors that you needed to download an app and get a COVID test before your trip, but I thought that was only for certain states. I was wrong. There indeed was—and still is—a pre-approval process for all travelers coming from the U.S.
Long story short, instead of confusing myself further by relying on YouTube videos and travel discussion threads, I went to the official authorities via VisitJamaica.com. This was the most detailed, accurate, and up-to-date resource. I had to get a COVID test, submit an application online with the negative test results attached, and then wait. The website indicated that it would take at least 48 hours for review, which was nerve-wrecking. It actually took four days, and I had to push my flight date back (yet again). I didn't mind because I'd be there for a little over a week, so losing a day or two wasn't a big deal.
The travel authorization was sent via email, so I screenshot it on my phone. I also printed out a copy of my negative PCR test, which was the test required at the time to move forward in the authorization process. I downloaded the JamCovid19 app just in case I'd be required to use it. (For more information on travel guidelines and restrictions, you can also visit the U.S. State Department site or the CDC website.)
Image courtesy of Jonathan Curry
Jonathan: I went to Tulum, Mexico. [At the time], they didn't have any restrictions on travel nor did they require a COVID test to enter. The process was very seamless. I made sure I read all of the current government standards of the country. I packed several masks and Clorox wipes to wipe down my seats and table.
(For more information on current travel restrictions or requirements in Mexico, please visit the U.S. Embassy and Consulates website here or the U.S. Department of State website.)
Francesca: I did a lot of research before booking my flight. I was more concerned with safety protocols than I was with flexibility. Ultimately it came down to two different airlines, and I ended up choosing the one that had a blocked middle seat over my usual airline where I accrue miles.
I brought a mask, of course, plenty of hand sanitizer, and my own food. Receiving a negative COVID test 48 hours before flying also gave me great peace of mind. I could assume that since it was an entry requirement, everyone I was traveling with most likely was negative as well.
(For more information on travel requirements and restrictions in Martinique, visit the CDC website or the U.S. Department of State website.)
Photo by Willy Joseph-Louis
What to Expect at the Airport & Upon Arrival:
Janell: I could not check in for my flight online, as I typically do. It was not allowed for international trips. I had to wait for the desk to open at the airport and check in with an associate. Other than that, the airport process and experience in the States was the same as it had always been except there were less people, you had to present your authorization document, and there were masks and social distancing requirements.
Upon arrival in Jamaica, I was delightfully surprised. The lines were typical but there was social distancing and an extra process added to the usual ones that involve customs and baggage claim. I'm always prepared to spend at least an hour at the Montego Bay airport during normal circumstances, and the extra process of checking my travel authorization document, getting information about my health and lodging plans, and listening to instructions on how I would quarantine only took an extra 30 minutes or so.
The officials and airline workers were kind, straight-forward, and efficient. My temperature was taken, and I was given a form with information on quarantining. I was also instructed about the "resilient corridor" limits I was to remain within during my stay and told what to do if I suddenly had any symptoms of COVID. (I wasn't told to download or use the app. I'm not certain as to why, but I kept it on my phone anyway. I suspect it was due to my length of stay and my choice to book at a compliant hotel.)
The experience was the total opposite of the nightmares of three-hour waits, scary soldiers, and double testing that I'd heard about.
Jonathan: Outside of the mask mandate, the airline didn't have any other restrictions in place. Fortunate for me, the middle seat was empty next to me and another young lady occupied the window seat. The flight was about 65-percent full. The airport was quiet, all the lines were very short, and there were limited food options in the concourse. You could cancel and get a flight credit with the airline.
Once I arrived, I had to keep my mask on throughout the airport. They had markers [6 feet apart] on the floor to make sure you weren't too close to your neighbor. Once through customs, I went through a non-intrusive temperature scan.
Francesca: I was impressed by how strictly the airline was enforcing their mask policy. I heard that they had added nearly 100 people to their no-fly list for non-compliance. They meant business!
I found that once it came time to fly, the airport was surprisingly empty. I think I interacted with less people throughout the flying experience than I do going grocery shopping.
Photo by Willy Joseph-Louis
The Trip Experience:
Janell: Typically, I'm able to go wherever I want, and I'm all over the place. I might be in Kingston one weekend, Negril, Savanna-la-Mar, Hanover, or Lucea the next, then off to Montego Bay. That totally changed. It was literally like a ghost town compared to the usual, and a curfew was being enforced. Though I did not have to download the app and check in via video, I didn't feel comfortable going anywhere other than the nearby beach, adjacent shops, the hotel pool, and back to my room. My fiance would bring food or we'd order in. The cleaning staff disinfected my room daily, the few people on site practiced social distancing, and everyone wore masks. (Negril Beach Club is actually a favorite of ours and the vicinity to Seven Mile Beach is divine.) I also noticed that most places required temperature checks and hand sanitizer use before allowing tourists to enter.
At my hotel, the vibes were super-mellow—even for Jamaica—and there were hardly any other tourists to talk to or at least be around—even at a distance. It got a tad boring and monotonous after three days because I'm used to being able to go on excursions or local adventures, however, I remembered why I was there—to spend time with my fiance. That was good enough for me. Due to quarantining, I was also able to watch the landmark general elections on TV with him and witness the honking cars and small celebrations from our balcony—a historical moment for us to share.
Image courtesy of Janell Hazelwood
Jonathan: Tulum still had some action when I first arrived, however beaches closed at 5pm and there was an 11pm curfew.
Francesca: My experience landing was a bit strange because I'm used to landing at an airport and being immediately surrounded by people. There were no large groups eagerly awaiting loved ones, and the airport was nearly empty. I was pleased to see the people who were present were wearing masks and respecting social distancing guidelines.
Travel Tips for Traveling in a Pandemic:
Do your research. Don't just rely on hearsay or online videos. While they might be helpful, look to the official authorities about what's required for travel and the recommendations based on where you want to go. Also, pay close attention to the cancellation, business hours, or booking policies of hotels, airlines, major attractions, and travel agencies.
If you're required to pre-test for authorization, be sure to get the correct test at the correct time. As of recent, test results can't be more than 10 days old and there are specific types of tests required. Ask your healthcare provider or test administrator lots of questions and make sure you're getting the correct type at a certified center or lab. Print out your results and authorization as well.
Go with an open mind and release the selfish vibes. COVID-19 is still very real, and the fears of locals are warranted, so if you're not able to freely do the things you're used to doing on vacation, make the best of it. Be grateful for the front-line workers serving you at the hotels, beaches, airports, and restaurants, and show that gratitude by tipping well and following protocols.
When in doubt, just stay home. If it's not an emergency or there's so much involved with planning that it causes you and your family unnecessary stress, wasted time, and extra money, reconsider traveling at all. Many airlines, hotels, and travel agencies are offering options for cancelling or rescheduling trips, and to be honest, this might be the time to do a domestic solo trip in your town or to focus on other goals.
Jonathan:
Have a plan B. With restrictions returning, have another plan just in case things get canceled.
Assess your tribe. [This is] your community that you come in contact with on a daily basis. Is anyone in your tribe high-risk as it relates to COVID? Are you able to quarantine in isolation if you contract it? We all have to do what we feel is best for us while still considering the community we will return to. Get yourself tested before and after travel, for your own safety and the safety of others.
Francesca: The No. 1 thing is to comply with local health regulations and consult official websites frequently. The situation is constantly evolving, and staying on top of it is critical. And please, wear a mask and wash your hands frequently!
For more of Janell, Jonathan, and Francesca, follow them on Instagram @janellirl, @thejonrobert, and @onegrloneworld.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
From their perspective, their friend should simply know what they should and shouldn’t do. Yeah, one day, I’m going to write an article about how a lot of relationships could be spared so much drama if we all stopped automatically expecting others to think, act, and even love like we do. Anyway, my client did pause for a moment; then she shared that there was one thing, in particular, that she had told her friend that she didn’t appreciate and her friend just kept on doing it — so much to the point where it was starting to feel not only intentional but disrespectful too. In response to that, here’s how the rest of the dialogue between us went down:
Me: “Did she apologize?”
Her: “I mean, after I about lost it and told her that I was sick of her sh-t, she did. I don’t know if I can trust it, though.”
Me: “Has the action happened again since?”
Her: “The last time was only a few weeks ago. It’s too soon to tell. I know I’m starting to put distance between us, though. I’m not sure if I want to be friends with her anymore at this point.”
*le sigh* What to do, what to freakin’ do, when you’ve got a friend in your life who does something that bothers, offends, hurts, or harms you (because those are all different things, y’all), they apologize and you’re not exactly sure what to do with their apology. That is something that I’m pretty sure that all of us have gone through, probably more than once. If you definitely have, and there have been times when it’s left you feeling stumped, let’s unpack it all a bit — just so you’ll know how to move, with complete peace of mind, for the sake of your friendship and, most importantly, your peace of mind.
People with Regrets Apologize (and Every Self-Aware Human Should Have Regrets)
GiphySometime last year, I was talking to a friend of mine about his spouse. As he was raving about all of the things that he adores about her, something that he said caused my eyes to get semi-big: “I mean, she doesn’t believe in apologizing which can get on my nerves but that’s about it.” Whew, chile. Also, another article for another time: It’s very hard for a marriage to function, in a healthy way, if both people aren’t willing to apologize and forgive because there are going to be countless times when doing one or the other is going to be extremely necessary. Why?
Because we all make mistakes and sometimes poor decisions (and no, those two things aren’t the same either) must be corrected with an apology. Not only that but we all also experience times when someone needs to apologize to us and, because of the first thing that I said, we should forgive them and LET. IT. GO.
Yeah, those “I don’t apologize” people? Talk about folks who I don’t trust because that typically either means that they have way too much pride going on or they suck and taking personal accountability for their actions — and neither of those things makes it easy when it comes to trying to have a solid relationship with someone else. Honestly, the only kind of folks who “cause me to pause” more are the ones who claim that they don’t have any regrets in life. Truly…what in the world are you talking about?
If you’ve been rocking with me on this platform for a while now, you already know that I totally and completely loathe the saying, “I don’t regret anything” (check out “Why Regret Might Not Always Be A Bad Thing”). SMDH. Some statements, I just think that they have been popular for so long that people repeat them without really thinking about what they actually mean.
When it comes to regret, if you look up its definition, you should see the word “remorse” somewhere in there and remorse means “deep and painful regret for wrongdoing; compunction” — and if you NEVER feel this way, that low-key sounds like either you think that you never do anything wrong (which is a completely delusional mindset) or you don’t care to “right your wrongs” whenever you do them (which makes you a pretty unsafe individual to be around).
And why am I laying down all of this foundation? Because, before getting into how to discern someone’s apology, it’s important to first surround yourself with individuals who even get that they should apologize from time to time in the first place — not because you think so but because they think so. I’m telling you, it can spare you a ton of time and potential heartbreak to follow this tip.
I say that because I ended a relationship about six years ago, mostly because the person reached out to me to help them out with something, and when I wrote out a full email about something they did that was highly offensive and would result in my not obliging them — not only did they not apologize, they didn’t even acknowledge what I said. What kind of makes it “comically worse” (utter audacity-wise) is the few times that I’ve seen them since, they’ve acted like nothing even happened. Then I had to think back to other times when I’ve brought hurt feelings or offenses to their attention and how they would deflect, play the victim, or change the subject (bookmark that).
Hmph. We talk about narcissism a lot both on and offline — uh-huh, be careful about those narcissistic friends out here. They always want to be the center of attention. They constantly put their own needs first. They have a hard time forgiving and yet think that you should dismiss whatever they do that’s wrong (or damaging). I could go on and on about those jokers. For now, I’ll just bring this point to a close by saying that if you want to trust someone’s apology, you need to trust that they care enough to apologize in the first place. And lawd, won’t that preach?
Next point.
Karma Is Attached to Apologies
GiphyOne day, I’m also going to write an article about how much forgiveness tends to be weaponized — and how absolutely insane that is. Meaning, so many people think that they deserve an apology for all of the things that they do while others don’t — and that’s not really how forgiveness works. If you’re looking at it from a Scriptural standpoint, the Good Book tells us that if you want to be right with God, you’ve got to forgive other people (Matthew 6:14-15). Science says that if you want to be healthy, it’s wise to forgive as well. Adding to both of these things, since karma (which is basically just reaping what you sow) doesn’t discriminate, if you want to be forgiven in the future, you should forgive others in the present.
And that’s what I mean when I say that karma is attached to apologies. When it comes to some completely bold and If-I-were-a-different-type-of-person-things-would’ve-gone-very-differently things that have happened to me throughout the years — what has kept things peaceful and put me on a faster track to healing is choosing to forgive others; especially when they make a point to apologize (check out “How I Learned To Forgive People In My Life Who Weren't Sorry”).
Honestly, a part of the reason why I can do closure so well is because I can accept an apology. What I mean by that is I think a lot of times, we stay in “hamster wheel relationships” (same problems, no new solutions) or we’re so super devastated (because we’re not just sad, we also beat ourselves up with guilt and yes, regret) if something should happen to someone who we used to be in relationship with and it’s partly because we don’t accept apologies.
Me? I never want to be so high and mighty in my mindset that I think I can gamble my relationship with God or my health simply because I want someone to think that what they do and ask forgiveness doesn’t deserve mercy while I’m somewhere thinking that I should be pardoned for all of my mess. I don’t know about y’all but I need God’s forgiveness, plus, it feels good — cleansing even — whenever people who I’ve hurt or harmed have forgiven me and so I give forgiveness in order to receive it — because every single human needs to receive it.
Next point.
A Sincere Apology Doesn't Deflect, Justify or Play the Victim. It Takes Full Ownership.
GiphyNow that we’ve talked about why you should only befriend people who forgive and apologize and how you shouldn’t be in relationships if you don’t know how to forgive (and apologize) — let’s talk about what a sincere apology should even look like.
Years ago, I had a friend who violated a very clear boundary of mine. She kept trying to push something on me that I didn’t want to do until one day, she did it anyway. And boy, was I pissed. When she saw how angry I was, she called me crying and, although she did say that she was sorry, she also went into all kinds of reasons why she thought that she was the bigger victim. The more that I listened, it was like she wanted me to apologize to her for violating me (whew, chile). Yeah, don’t trust those kinds of apologies because they are chocked full of manipulation.
And this is where we start to tiptoe into the difference between accepting an apology and trusting one.
Since she literally said, “I’m so sorry,” I accepted her apology because, although I think that my discernment is pretty keen and she was trying to manipulate matters, at the end of the day, who am I to brush off her efforts to acknowledge what she did? Did I trust her apology, though? Absolutely not because to trust something, you’ve gotta be confident in it, and anyone who decides to make what they did to you totally about them? They don’t really get what an apology is all about.
Hmph. I grew up with people who would apologize and also deflect (shift blame, gaslight, go into semi-denial mode), justify poor behavior (make excuses, follow their apology with some long ass story) and/or play the victim (act like they are more hurt than you are) in the midst of their apologies and those types of individuals typically only apologize in order to “move on” from what they’ve done — not to really make sure that you are okay about what had transpired.
And those people? Whether they are too selfish, not self-aware enough or they’re simply ignorant about what a sincere apology looks like, if those three factors come into play, their apology can be accepted yet not really trusted in the sense of you believing that they will do their best to not repeat the action again. How could you TRUST it if they don’t fully OWN it? Make sense?
Next point.
Accepting Apologies and Actually Trusting Them Are Quite Different
GiphyIf you know that someday, you will need to apologize to someone, you will get again why I say that none of us should really refuse someone else’s apology. Another way of looking at this is if someone apologizes and you don’t accept it, it’s basically saying, “I don’t acknowledge that you acknowledge what you did that you are trying to take responsibility for” — and honestly, what kind of sense does that make?
Because while you are thinking that not accepting their apology is harming them, it’s really only hurting you because you are choosing to hold onto what their apology has actually released them from. Plus, y’all know that I am pretty word-literal and, at the end of the day, accepting an apology simply means that 1) you are responding to what they are saying and 2) you are receiving the effort. Over and out.
Now TRUSTING an apology? Again, that is something entirely different. I’ll give you another example. Everyone who knows me (check out “5 Signs You Really Know A Person”) knows that if I come out to a big function, that’s love — DEEP LOVE. Back when I was an entertainment journalist, I had my fill of stuff like that; these days, low-key is how I get down. Anyway, one time, a friend invited me out to a crowded and pretty important function. After a bit of convincing, I made the personal request of not wanting to go along with someone else in their world who I am not fond of (who they are now not even friends with because they discovered on their own just how shady the person can be).
My friend assured me that it wouldn’t be an issue — only for me to get to the place where we were meeting up and my friend then telling me on the way to the venue that the person would be joining us. When I tell you that we literally had the conversation about that not happening just a few hours before? Chile. My response? I left before we headed there and went back home. I am BIG on my boundaries being respected and I’m not going to be set up to be put in a position to somehow be the bad guy if I’m not kee-keeing with someone who I didn’t want to be around, intimately, in the first place. Plus, my friend needed to fully enjoy her night without worrying about what the energy was going to be like.
My friend owned that it was “bad business” to even move like that — that it was thoughtless and a bit manipulative on her part because a part of her thought that if I was pushed to the wall on the matter, I would just get over it. She apologized. I accepted it. However, I didn’t just accept it, I trusted it because, a few weeks later, she invited me to another event, out of state, all expenses paid.
Listen, if you know me, you know that it wasn’t the free trip that “moved me” because my favorite place is always gonna be at home. LOL. It’s that my friend didn’t just acknowledge what she did, she also took it upon herself to make amends — and that’s what a real apology should always include.
And what is amends? It’s “reparation or compensation for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind; recompense.” That said, when we really get the weight and magnitude of something that we’ve done to another person, it’s never enough to just toss a flippant “My bad” in their direction — it’s important to put forth the effort to set things right.
I got that my friend understood how much effort it took for me to do the initial outing with her in the first place because she took a few steps up from that and turned another event into a girls' trip — just us. That was a couple of years ago now. We’ve not had an issue in that lane since.
Your friend who hurt you and apologized? One way to know if you can trust the apology to the point where you know that it’s okay to move on fully from the matter is if they are willing, on their own, to make amends. If, in their own way, they ask you, “How can I make this right?” If you get that from them, I really recommend that you give them a chance because not only does it seem like their apology is heartfelt, but they also want to help you to heal from what they did — and at the end of the day, because none of us can change the past, just “own” our part in it, there’s not much more that a human can do.
Plus, people who go so far as to make amends, they typically also put forth the effort to try and change their behavior (or not repeat the action). And again, what more can you really ask for from any fallible individual (and we are all that)…right?
____
No one is perfect. We’re all going to mess up. If you really get that, when a friend apologizes to you, let both of yourselves off of the hook and accept it. And during the apology, if they take full ownership which includes making amends, trust your friend enough to have faith that they will try to not hurt you, in that way, again.
Accept is about recognizing.
Trusting is about putting your confidence in something.
When it comes to apologies, specifically, I hope it’s easier to now know the difference.
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