
TalentX Gaming’s Amber Howard Is Shifting The Narrative Of Black Women In Esports

Amber Howard is the Head of Talent at TalentX Gaming (TXG), a talent management company specifically built for gaming and esports athletes and streamers, and has now made it her mission to shake the rooms of status quo, diversity and inclusion within the gaming industry. While only 45% of all U.S. gamers are women, Amber has already demonstrated her commitment to highlighting diversity in the esports and gaming industry by including a diverse A-list roster of esports athletes, gaming influencers, creators and streamers such as Latina gamer and activist Natalie "ZombiUnicorn" Casanova. Not to mention, the boss babe herself is responsible for executing a brand deal between Converse and PAX West, Univision's multi-cultural creators' network by creating all aspects of the business development and talent procurement model, and brand deals with Apple, Epic Games, and Paramount.
In a recent chat, xoNecole caught up with TalentX Gaming's newly appointed Head of Talent about being a boss Black woman in the esports and gaming industry, bringing diversity to the misogynistic industry, and her vision for the future of esports.
xoNecole: What initially sparked your interest in esports?
Amber Howard: While working at IMG, they announced the hiring of an esports agent. A short time later, Riot Games was hosting a League of Legends championship at the Staples Center. I was completely blown away that they sold out the Staples Center in less than an hour. Thinking back, it had to actually be anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes. As a Lakers fan, I understood the significance, given how big the Staples Center is, it usually doesn't sell out unless it's a Championship or playoff game. My interest was sparked from that moment on, and I started looking into gaming and esports more. Shortly after, I took a job at the biggest gaming multi-channel network (MCN) in the world at the time, Machinima, and it was a great opportunity for me to dive into gaming.
What are you currently doing in your role as the new Head of Talent at TXG to ensure and actively bring diversity into this industry?
Diversity is something that is important to me and it's something I actively strive for in all aspects of life. Growing up, I took an interest in watching Pam Oliver on TV who would interview my favorite athletes. Watching her intrigued me, I knew that there were great opportunities if I could break through. As I've continued in my career, it's been important for me to make sure that representation is always at the forefront…seeing people who look like you doing things you and the world both think are exciting matters. As Head of Talent at TXG, my primary focus has been making sure we're recruiting great talent and making sure that we are bringing diversity to the roster.
I've made it my mission to do so, by signing A-list talent, streamers and creators who are diverse, and using my resources to give them the recognition and spotlight they genuinely deserve. It's very easy to go after the top ten percent of talent within the industry, but in order for us to actually bring in diverse talent, we have to actively search and seek them out. We also need to ensure diverse talent have the tools necessary to be successful, so they can grow and be seen as higher tier talent in the industry. Essentially, it's about finding the talent and giving them opportunities to grow. To be sure we're abiding by this in our recruiting efforts, I'm constantly reiterating to my team that we are a creator-first company and need to include all races, genders and people from diverse backgrounds. To ensure we achieve this, I make it my priority to provide my team with the tools needed to achieve this goal.
Courtesy of Amber Howard
"As I've continued in my career, it's been important for me to make sure that representation is always at the forefront…seeing people who look like you doing things you and the world both think are exciting matters. As Head of Talent at TXG, my primary focus has been making sure we're recruiting great talent and making sure that we are bringing diversity to the roster."
Did you have any reservations when going into this role knowing that there was a lack of diversity and representation?
No, because there is unfortunately a lack of diversity across every industry. The lack of diversity exists in traditional sports and entertainment, so I knew gaming would be no different. It's unfortunate and, for me, sadly pretty common but I'm strong enough and willing to undertake all that comes with the circumstances in order to press on. I know TalentX Gaming and ReTKGlobal have the resources in order to elevate and highlight diverse talent. I had no reservations taking this role, because I'm confident in the resources I have available as well as my skill set to get the job done.
With your career, how have you seen Black women be mistreated, talked down to or sexually harassed in the workplace?
I personally can't speak to that, because I'm typically the only one or one of two! As a woman working with other women, I've witnessed the unequal treatment of other women and for a long time we had to sit back and take it. I'm happy to be in a time where women have a voice and are being heard.
Have you, yourself, ever experienced or been a victim of such?
I've spent the majority of my career in male-dominated workplaces, which did not go without challenges as a female to be heard, recognized and respected. It's unfortunate, but as women, that's something we experience and often told to just accept that's how it is. It's necessary to be strategic about showcasing your value, ensuring that your voice is heard and it has just as much validity as any male or white male counterpart. Being a Black woman certainly does not make it any easier, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Being a Black woman in gaming is an added perk, and I've learned to position myself in such a way that who I am is seen.
Courtesy of Amber Howard
"It's necessary to be strategic about showcasing your value, ensuring that your voice is heard and it has just as much validity as any male or white male counterpart. Being a Black woman certainly does not make it any easier, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."
What do you believe work environments can do better to protect Black women?
I think work environments can honestly do a better job at protecting every woman, especially Black and minority women. I've seen how Black and minority women, all generally experience a lot of the same pitfalls in comparison to our white counterparts. As Black women, we're sometimes even at a level, that is a step lower than some of our white female counterparts, only because we're Black. So, I believe that more can be done. I believe companies should ensure that there is diversity training throughout their company, from HR to the executive board.
Also, ensuring there are engaging activities and inclusion programs that are organic and a part of the company culture. We see a lot of companies doing so now, because of what's happening in society, but diversity councils were not commonplace until recently. It's also important to not only ensure that more Black women are hired, but they are placed in positions where they are seen and truly valued for their contributions. We need more Black women in leadership roles who are being recognized for their contributions with articles such as this.
What do you hope for the future of Black female executives in esports and gaming?
I think the tide is starting to change and we're seeing a little bit of it. We're starting to see more Black and women of color in gaming and esports. I've worked with amazing women throughout my career. Someone who immediately comes to mind however, is Johanna Faries who is the Commissioner of Call of Duty Esports at Activision Blizzard. We're here, but I'm not sure there has been a lot of publicity, excitement or promotion that we are entering and have held these positions until now.
What advice do you have for young Black girls who are looking to dive into careers in esports and gaming?
My biggest advice that I'd give to young Black girls looking to venture in the esports and gaming industry is that you have to have a passion for what you do. I grew up playing video games, I was that kid on the weekends in my room, playing video games for hours. I had an interest and a genuine passion for it. After that, it's important to understand what role you'd like to play since the gaming and esports industry is so vast. Would you like to be on the representation side, in graphic design, programming, work for a game publisher, or help create a culture to ensure there is diversity? There are a ton of different options. Whatever you decide, it just has to be authentic and true to you.
What is something you wish you knew sooner about the esports and gaming industry before entering? What is something they don't tell you?
Something I wish I knew sooner, was to get into it sooner. I've been interested in gaming for a while, but did not enter the industry immediately. Gaming and esports have been around for over a decade. While I was forging a path at NFL Network in 2010, the gaming and esports industry was just beginning to take shape. If I would've known it was happening, I would have jumped right in. It's like going into any career; there are lots of things that you'll just have to learn on the job and be there to truly understand.
What are some of the biggest lessons you've learned about yourself - professionally and personally - as a Black woman in the esports and gaming industry throughout the years?
The biggest lesson I've learned about myself is my ability to persevere. As gaming and esports have begun taking shape, there were positions that I've had that didn't last; companies that I worked for that were sold. My route was not easy, but I knew it was something that I wanted to continue to pursue. I've come to know that the gaming and esports industry does not come without its challenges and having the ability to push through is a must. I was thankful to find a position as Head of Talent at TalentX Gaming (TXG), which is a joint venture between global esports powerhouse ReKTGlobal and "creator-first" talent agency TalentX created specifically to serve gamers. The role encompasses all of the things that I was really looking to do when I set out into gaming and esports five years ago and they are in support of my mission to highlight the diversity that actually already exists within the gaming community.
Featured image courtesy of Amber Howard
Your February 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Self-Love & Soulful Alignment
Explore your sign’s 2025 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
February is a coming together, as a culmination of community and abundance is evident. Some significant planets go direct this month after being retrograde since this past year, and we can finally take a deep breath. We walk into the month in Aquarius season, and the focus during this time is on coming together with the people you resonate with on a soul level, opening your heart to love, and gaining perspective in the process. When the Sun is in Aquarius, everything feels more electrified and inspiring, and this is one of the best months of the year to manifest and set your intentions.On Feb. 4, Venus enters Aries, Jupiter goes direct in Gemini, and the energy and passion return. Venus in Aries is fiery, dynamic, and puts self-love first. While Venus is in Aries for the entire month, February is all about going after the things you want in love, and trusting that you will be supported here. Jupiter goes direct on the same day after being retrograde since Oct. 9, and we can see our blessings manifest more effortlessly now, especially regarding communication matters, networking, short travels, education, and the mind. Jupiter finishes its Gemini transit on Jun. 9, so over the next few months, this is a good time to expand your mind and your vision, get creative, and meet new people.
What February 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
The Full Moon of February occurs in Leo on the 12th, and this is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon brings emotions to the surface and creates self-clarity and honesty in the process. This Full Moon is a time to let go of old versions or ideas of yourself that don’t align with who you are today and to focus on what feels authentic and empowering for you right now.
On Valentine's Day, Mercury enters Pisces until Mar. 3, and the mind is on love right now.
While Mercury is in Pisces, we speak in words of poetry and spirituality, and mental connections turn into romantic ones. This is a beautiful energy to walk into on the day of love, signifying an urge to be around people who truly understand you right now.
Pisces season begins on Feb. 18, and we move into a time of closure, healing, creativity, and introspection. On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in Cancer after being retrograde here since Jan. 6, and being retrograde in general since Dec. 6. With Mars now direct, there is more energy and direction at our disposal, and less confusion on where to go from here. Mars will be direct in Cancer until Apr. 18, and there is a lot of love, support, and intuition to be felt right now. Mars in Cancer supports others while also cherishing boundaries, and this is a good time to feel more stability in matters of the home and heart.
We end the month with a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is a time of magic, dreams coming to fruition, and romance in the air.
A New Moon in Pisces reminds us that what has been lost always comes back around in a new form, and helps us see what our heart is grateful for right now. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for the future and to dream the dream. Overall, February is an inspiring and enlightening month, and your heart is the one leading the way right now.
Read for your Sun and Rising Sign below to see what February has in store for you.
ARIES
February is all about love for you, Aries. You are thriving within relationship matters as Venus is in your sign for most of this month. Venus moves into Aries on Feb. 4 and will be here until Mar. 27, however, Venus will be going retrograde in your sign on Mar. 1. So, use February to walk into some new beginnings in love, but remember to take your time with things here as well. You are overall feeling more reciprocity, support, and positive recognition now, and self-love is key this month.
On Feb. 12, we have a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this Full Moon occurs in your 5th house of romance.
This is a beautiful Full Moon for seeing love bloom and for experiencing a sense of fulfillment that brings you closer to another. Before the month ends, Mars goes direct after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with the home, family, close loved ones, and emotional stability. With Mars now direct here, new foundations can be built in your world, and you feel more supported and secure as you end the month.
TAURUS
This month is a time to reflect, accept, and move into your new beginning, Taurus. There is a lot to process this month, and with the Sun in your 10th house for most of February, a lot of your focus right now is on your goals, purpose, and life path. The Full Moon happening mid-month is an opportunity for you to see things clearer in the home, and to create space for more support and nourishment here. You are letting go of what is weighing you down or making your emotional world feel more difficult to process this month.
Mercury enters your 11th house of hope, community, friendship, and manifestation on Valentine’s Day this year, and you move into a time of inspiration. You are thinking of all the things that make you feel empowered, loved, and in tune, and it’s time to create more of this energy around yourself. We have a New Moon in this same area of your chart before the month ends on Feb. 27, and you are ready to look forward in life rather than at the past of what could have been.
Overall, this month is about listening to your heart and spending more time taking care of yourself.
GEMINI
February is a chance to take a break, Gemini. You need more time to process and prepare for what’s ahead of you, and you are taking the time to do so this month. February begins with Jupiter going direct in your sign after being retrograde here since Oct. 9. Jupiter, the planet of blessings, will be direct in your sign until Jun. 9, and won’t be here again for another decade. This is your opportunity to set intentions, focus on your dreams, and make some important achievements happen.
Extra good luck and support from the universe are with you now, and the key for you is to let things come to you naturally through patience and dedication.
On Feb. 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and some important culminations are coming through in matters of the mind. You are coming to some conclusions about something, and it’s changing your perspective overall. Before the month ends we have a New Moon in an area of your life having to do with your career, professional world, and reputation, and this is a good time to set your intentions for what goals you want to see through right now.
CANCER
February is a month of enlightenment, Cancer. You are aligned with the path you are walking on right now, and everything is starting to make a little more sense to your heart. This month we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving away from an emotionally heavy space. You are letting go of a lot of what has kept you conflicted, and there is a sense of peace that is being obtained in the process. This is your month of inspiring others through your resilience and gift of forgiveness.
Mars goes direct in your sign on Feb. 23 after being retrograde here since Jan. 6. With Mars retrograde in your sign since we began the year, there has been a lot for you to reflect on and emotionally process, and you are seeing yourself and your life with a new perspective and passion. Mars will be in Cancer until Apr. 18, and this is the time to take action on the things that you haven’t been ready to move forward with these past few months. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces, and you are leaving the month in the mood for an adventure.
This is the time to get out of your comfort zone, travel, or do something fun.
LEO
February is about protecting your energy and what you are bringing to fruition in your life, Leo. With a Full Moon in your sign mid-month, you are moving through a time of culmination, release, and inner clarity, and there is a lot to reflect on right now. You are recognizing your need to create boundaries from those who don’t serve you or your life path and are focusing on the things that feel good for you.
With the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month as well, you are gaining clarity on the relationships you want to move forward with, and where you need to create more space.
Venus is in Aries and in your 5th house of romance, self-expression, creativity, and joy for most of the month, and your heart is yearning for some excitement. When it comes to love in February, opportunities are coming to the surface for you to get out of your head and into your heart, heed the call. At the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving into a breakthrough. You end February with less weight on your shoulders and more energy to just be.
VIRGO
Trust your intuition this month, Virgo. February is a month of getting organized, gaining clarity, and feeling purposeful. With Jupiter going direct in your 10th house at the start of the month, blessings follow through regarding your career and professional world. The intentions you have been setting and going over these past few months, are coming to fruition for you now, and you are being recognized and supported for your efforts here. This is a month of feeling a level up in your life, and like you are where you want to be.
Mars goes direct on Feb. 23, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with friendship, community, and your hopes and dreams over the past month or so. With Mars now direct in Cancer, it’s easier for you to feel hopeful and to see and experience the magic in life. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your sister sign Pisces on Feb. 27, and love takes on a new beginning. This New Moon is one of the best of the year for you to set your intentions for love, and trust where your heart is being called to right now.
LIBRA
February is all about perspective and the intentions you are setting in your life through the thoughts you are thinking, Libra. The Sun is in your house of romance and Venus is in your house of partnership for most of the month, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. New developments are coming to fruition within your relationships, and you are reaping what you have sown, feeling grateful for what has come to fruition for you.
This is a beautiful month for travel, moving forward in your partnerships, and feeling more commitment and support in doing so.
With Jupiter also going direct this month, your home life and foundations see improvements and expansion. Anywhere you have been feeling limited here is being lifted for you now, and you are able to breathe and think bigger about what is possible for you and your sense of stability in life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is a chance for you to connect with the people who inspire you, and to let go of anything that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are today or how you feel about things.
SCORPIO
February is a month of feeling loved, Scorpio. Everything's coming together for you exactly how you have envisioned it, and with the Sun in your house of family, support, and foundations, you are feeling closer to your loved ones in the process. We have a Full Moon in your 10th house of career in mid-February, and culminations are coming through in your professional world, as recognition for your efforts and hard work are here for you now. This Full Moon is about taking the time to congratulate yourself for how far you have come and to feel gratitude for your progress in life.
On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in fellow water sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education over the past month or so. With Mars now direct, travel plans follow through and it’s easier for you to see the bigger picture. The New Moon of the month takes place on Feb. 27, and this is a beautiful time for you to experience joy and pleasure. You are ending the month by making your inner child happy, showing up, and connecting with the love that surrounds you now.
SAGITTARIUS
This month is a transition month for you, Sagittarius. You are moving on from what has been, and a few of you may even be moving physically or traveling during this time. This is a month of getting into new energy and letting things go where it is needed. February begins with your ruling planet Jupiter going direct after being retrograde since last fall, and you are able to experience more of the blessings in love that you have been looking for.
Love turns a new page this month, and it’s because you are no longer settling for things that don’t align with what you want for yourself or your future.
On Feb. 12, a Full Moon is happening in an area of your life that has to do with your passion, inspiration, travel ventures, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture right now. This Full Moon is about accepting the truths that have come to the surface and following through on plans that you have had for yourself. Mars goes direct in your 8th house of transformation on Feb. 23, and you end the month experiencing a personal breakthrough. A lot is changing for you in February, and you are the one leading these efforts forward because you are owning the life you deserve.
CAPRICORN
A new month is here, and you are looking forward to all of the new experiences you are about to get into, Capricorn. February is an inspiring, passionate, and eye-opening month for you and you are making a lot of progress. With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances, values, and self-confidence for most of the month, you are spending a lot of your time developing new plans and intentions for yourself, especially financially. Mid-month we have a Full Moon in your 8th house of shared resources, and the support that you need to thrive and expand financially right now is becoming clearer to you.
Towards the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your sister sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with love, partnership, and harmony over the past month or so. With Mars moving forward again, so are you in love, and your relationship dynamics feel a little more balanced and empowered for you. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces to close out the month, and this New Moon for you is all about setting your intentions regarding communication, networking, and the ideas you want to build off of right now.
AQUARIUS
Your season is here, and everything is falling into place for you now, Aquarius. This is a month of feeling a positive culmination of everything you have been working towards, and seeing the rewards for your efforts. With the Sun in your sign until the 18th, all eyes are on you and you are focused on your personal goals, investments, and self-courage. Jupiter goes direct as we begin the month, turning things around for you in love and helping you see things with a new perspective here.
Blessings and understanding within relationship matters bloom for you now, and you can finally take a break from the confusion here.
With Venus in your 11th house of friendship for most of February, this is the month for connecting with the people who you resonate with on a soul level and giving your heart more time to enjoy the company. The Full Moon happening mid-month occurs in your opposite sign, highlighting your romantic life and sense of partnership. Love comes full circle as you let go of the past here and see the gifts of the partnerships you have been building in your life.
PISCES
February is your month of abundance and opportunities, Pisces. There is a lot to tend to this month, but you have the empowerment and passion to do so. Jupiter goes direct in your 4th house as the month begins, and you are feeling stronger foundations emotionally and within the home right now. Progress is being made in the spaces that are close to the heart, and you are feeling the blessings of support and stability in your life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is about letting go of unhealthy daily routines or habits and giving yourself more space to figure out what feels right for you.
On Valentine's Day this year, Mercury enters your sign, and your mind is focused on love, understanding, and connection. The conversations you are having now are fulfilling your heart and inspiring you, and you are gaining clarity in relationship matters as well. Pisces season officially begins on Feb. 18, and it’s your time to shine, to love, and to be loved in return.
Before the month ends we have a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is one of the best times of the year for you to set your personal intentions, manifest, and reinvent yourself.
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Why We Get Dating Icks & When To Pay Attention To Them
A lot of us have been there. You're vibing with someone new, things feel promising, and then one night, you're out to dinner, and it happens. The moment that changes everything.
He calls the waiter over to ask a seemingly innocent question about his order because something isn’t quite right with his meal. Okay, fair enough. But instead of just listening to the explanation the waiter gives, he decides to prove how wrong the order is. He goes through his plate piece by piece, making the waiter watch as he dissects his food like a game of Operation. The waiter, clearly biting his tongue, picks up the plate of food and promises to bring him a new menu item that would be more to his liking. Despite the resolution, the entire exchange reeks of entitlement, and suddenly, you can’t unsee it.
It’s a canon event, I fear. And just like that, the chemistry that once had you feeling drawn to this person dissipates. You try to continue your meal like nothing happened, but it did happen. And now? Now, you’re experiencing the ick.
You see, "I got the ick" or "he gave me the ick" isn't something this generation of daters says to just say. The dating ick is very real and once it happens, it's hard to see past it. But what is the ick really telling us? Is it a sign to run? Or could it be exposing something deeper about the other person or, hell, about ourselves?
To get some clarity, I tapped Ashleigh Guice, dating expert and founder of Single Woman Chronicles, to break it all down for us. Below, she shares why dating icks happen, how to tell the difference between a silly pet peeve and a genuine red flag, and how to navigate icks when you're getting to know someone who might actually be worth the effort.
What Exactly Is a Dating Ick?
Guice defines an ick as "becoming completely turned off in the early stages of dating due to an action, characteristic, or physical attribute of a person." What might not have previously been a dealbreaker for you suddenly makes you question being in the relationship or connection. That's how turned off you are. That's an ick.
But where do these icks come from? According to Guice, they usually stem from one of three places. "First, as humans, we all have likes and dislikes—some things simply don’t appeal to us. Second, our past experiences can cause us to be immediately turned off by something that reminds us of a negative encounter. Lastly, some people are emotionally avoidant and use 'icks' as a way to avoid genuine connection with others."
Should You End Things Over an Ick?
This is where things with icks get tricky. Not all icks carry the same weight. At least, they shouldn't. Guice believes icks can be categorized as "shallow icks" and "character icks" and it's important to separate the two.
- Shallow Icks are usually about personal preference: someone's height, clothing choices, how they eat, or even the way they text. They might be annoying, but they don’t necessarily mean someone is a bad partner.
- Character Icks reveal deeper incompatibilities, like a lack of emotional awareness, disrespect toward others, or poor communication skills.
"If you're considering ending a relationship over something superficial, it might be time to reevaluate your criteria for choosing a partner," Guice explains. "But if the ick is character-based—like being rude to waitstaff or never asking about your day—it’s worth reconsidering if this is someone you want in your life long-term."
She adds, "Dating icks can signal potential red flags that should be examined internally first to determine if they're serious enough to warrant ending the relationship. If you realize that an ick is indeed a red flag, it should be addressed with the person, or, if it's still early in the dating phase, you might choose to end it."
Common Dating Icks
Guice has worked with her fair share of clients who have also experienced the ick in dating. Some of the most common ones?
Shallow Icks:
- "He's too short"
- "I hate how he talks"
- "His mannerisms are feminine"
- "I don't like how he dresses"
- "He doesn't like going to fancy restaurants"
Character Icks:
- "He only talks about himself"
- "He never asks about my day or life"
- "He doesn't take the initiative to spend time with me"
- "He is rude to strangers"
- "He talks badly about his ex"
- "He brought up sex on the first date"
- "He is too touchy-feely"
Something to note: If your ick falls into the character category, it might be a sign to pay closer attention. If it’s just about personal preference, there’s a chance you could move past it.
How to Navigate an Ick When You Like Someone
Okay, okay, let's say you like someone, but the ick is steadily creeping in. "It’s all about understanding your dealbreakers, offering grace, and practicing good communication," Guice offers as a solution to navigating the ick. She suggests a simple three-step approach before deciding to walk away:
- Ask yourself: Is this a dealbreaker? "A dealbreaker is something you can’t live with in a relationship," Guice defines. "For example, if your love language is quality time, a dealbreaker might be someone who is too busy for you." If your ick is not a dealbreaker, move to step two.
- Bring it up (if appropriate). If it's a shallow ick (like bad texting habits or being a little too glued to their phone), try talking about it. "Let them know how it made you feel and see if they’re willing to address it. If they aren’t, they may not be a good fit. If they are, proceed to step three," Guice advises.
- Give them grace if they’re trying to improve. "This means being patient, not getting upset if they slip up, and acknowledging their efforts when you see them trying."
Do Icks Happen More When Dating Outside Your Type?
According to Guice, the short answer is yes. "I believe dating icks happen the most when someone is attempting to date outside of their type because it’s uncomfortable," Guice says. "Change brings discomfort, and when you’re trying something new, your brain might create reasons to run back to what’s familiar—even if it hasn’t worked in the past."
So, if you’re dating outside your usual type and suddenly find yourself nitpicking, it’s worth pausing to ask:
Is this really an ick, or am I just uncomfortable because this is new?
At the same time, just because someone is different from what you're used to doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you. In this instance, Guice suggests following the same three-step process we described previously, assessing whether the ick is a dealbreaker, communicating about it, and offering grace, before making a final decision.
Dating icks are real, but they aren’t always dealbreakers. Some icks are just preferences, while others are warning signs that shouldn't be ignored. The key is knowing the difference.
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