Quantcast
T.I. Is Shedding Light On Disadvantages Of Marriage For Men, But What's Really In It For Us?
Culture & Entertainment

T.I. Is Shedding Light On Disadvantages Of Marriage For Men, But What's Really In It For Us?


Marriage in the 21st century is an interesting concept. While some couples choose alternative routes to relationships like polyamory, others are in favor of dissolving the age-old tradition altogether. A quote from a 2015 Fox News piece began circulating around the internet recently, prompting a number of users to share their own views on love and marriage. The post claimed that the reason most men have issues with commitment is because marriage offers no advantage to men. The post read:

"Because there's nothing in it for them: What exactly does marriage offer men today? 'Men know there's a good chance they'll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,' says Helen Smith, Ph.D., author of 'Men on Strike.' 'They don't want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over. Men aren't wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment-phobes. They're being smart.'"

The post even caught the attention of celebrities, including rapper and reality TV star, T.I., who reposted the quote with the following caption:

"Just found some info out there from @nay6ah60d_neal I thought I'd share… and mind you, I DIDNT WRITE THIS,A WOMAN DID…. but I do agree to a degree. I've heard it,& seen this a million times over. Note to women: Happiness needs no validation….The Ego does. Most women out there nowadays just wanna be married to impress they friends,family (his side pieces) and fit into society's standards. THATS NOT LOVE!!! That's how you end up stuck with someone YOU THOUGHT YOU WANTED!!!! No matter what… Whatever you do…
Do what you do to make YOU HAPPY!!! -The End"

His thoughts triggered a variety of responses internet-wide that both supported and refuted his claim.

His response proves that we as women need to evaluate our beliefs as they relate to love and millennial dating. I may be cynical, but it seems that the general synopsis toward marriage among people is that they lose more than they gain after establishing a union for a lifetime with their partner.

Giphy

According to Helen Smith's thesis, a man's life changes as it pertains to finances, friendship, and sex, after marriage. But doesn't a woman's life also change in those same ways? Other than a title and romantic security, what advantage does marriage really have to either party?

Think about the reasoning behind bachelor/bachelorette parties. We use those times as one last night to mourn the glamorous single life and what it meant to us before we head into a dreaded life of monotonous monogamy. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Giphy

Our mothers and grandmothers were raised to believe that marriage was a form of validation. In a time where the primary breadwinner was the man in the relationship, that union was essential to a woman developing a successful life and building a family. But millennial women are on some new sh*t. We can be ballers, have babies, and leave legacies all without the help of men, leaving millennial women to wonder exactly what's in it for them when it comes to marriage after everything that they're forced to give up.

This idea of give and take in this conversation is interesting to me, because from my standpoint as a 25-year-old unmarried black woman, love is supposed to be about sacrifice, not what one loses or gains after solidifying a commitment.

Giphy

The traditional idea that love is a prison, where upon entering you are forced into giving up everything you hold near to you, is outdated. We as women are no longer rushed into marriage due to untimely pregnancies or financial woes. We have the choice to spend our lives with whoever we choose, so it's important that we redefine our expectations of an ideal union and choose wisely.

Women prove every day that the concept of marriage is no longer equal to success or validation, so the only thing to keep in mind when you make that choice is your own happiness.

Featured image by Giphy

TRENDING
ALSO ON XONECOLE
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly

This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.

Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.

KEEP READINGShow less
Could The 'O Method' Be Just What You Need To Have The Sex You Want?

An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”

If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.

KEEP READINGShow less
LATEST POSTS