

3 Modern-Day Spiritual Healers Who Embrace Sexuality
As spiritual woman and lightworker who was raised in a very strict Jehovah's Witness upbringing, it took a lot for me to undo the conditioning that repressed my sexuality outside of spirituality or religion as a whole. Things of a sexual nature were always considered a taboo topic in my household.
Now as a fully grown, and deeply spiritual woman, I have learned that embracing my femininity and my sexuality has no bearing on my ability to heal others, or channel divine information from truth and source. Being spiritual does not have to overshadow being sexy and glowing with the divine feminine energy.
I sat down with three different ethereally divine divas: the Hood Healer, the Trap Witch, and sexual liberation healer Ev'Yan Whitney to break down the spirituality of sexual ownership and healing, the skewed idea of modesty as a virtue, spiritual and religious biases in sexuality, and their own sexual affirmations.
The Trap Witch, @thetrapwitch
The Trap Witch, whose first name is Tatiana, has a very intriguing journey into spirituality, healing, and motivational speaking. Nicknamed the "Card B of consciousness" by her friends, Tatiana is someone who is relatable in an arena where mysticism is overplayed.
"I didn't know that I wanted to be a healer or a motivational speaker until everything I did the 'right way' in my life fell apart. My Master's program fell through, freelance photography and design wasn't going as I had planned, so I jumped into sex work (adult sensual massage) and made that my hustle until I could figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I did that for five years and in the midst of it, my spiritual awakening happened during that time. I found that I liked the healing aspect of massage, but I made the best of the work by actually talking to people. Sex work gets a bad reputation, but that's where I found my confidence to start speaking to people more and understanding more about psychology."
She continued, "After quitting the business with $1000 left to my name, I sat on the porch with my cellphone and some tarot cards and just started to channel my messages into motivational words."
How Sexuality and Spirituality is Linked
"Sexuality is linked to spirituality because we each have masculine and feminine energies within us. We have feminine energy, which is our creative side and how we love, and masculine energy, in how we do things and what we will for our lives. If your dual energies are in balance and you know yourself, then what you are capable of is limitless.
"In our lives, we have to break our own stigmas, that are imposed on us in order to come into our purpose in the world. Being born to a West Indian Christian mother, and then to go on to become a sex worker and then a proclaimed witch, was every stigma my mother was afraid of. My life didn't become fulfilled until I didn't care anymore what anyone thought and because I knew that although sex is often 'taboo,' it's what creates life. Nothing I did in my life worked out for me until I got into the sex industry and understood my raw power to manifest what I needed from nothing but the essence of myself."
What Sexual Healing Means To Her
"Sexuality can be used for healing in many ways. Libido is your sexual desire and is your energy, appetite, and a component of the life instinct. If you look at someone who has a high sex drive, they have a desire to have sex, which is technically used for reproduction and pleasure. Someone with a low libido will be very understimulated and has a lack of excitement. In life, there are some people who have a high drive to be able to reproduce fruits from their labor and creation and to receive pleasure from that, and some people who are the exact opposite. I think we need to look at sexuality as more as a desire to heal our life through creation and how we 'do it' and keeping up the drive to keep doing it over and over again."
Re-evaluating Modesty As Virtue
"Seldom do well-behaved women make history. Women like Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Cardi B are all very sexually expressive women and it doesn't take away from the things they do for people to either empower, or give back. I don't really condone anyone shrinking themselves in order to be accepted. To me, virtue is in the heart. I have big boobs, but also a big heart and if someone wants to judge me based on the fact I'm not modest enough for them, and they can't see my heart and actions, then they can kick rocks.
"I don't really condone anyone shrinking themselves in order to be accepted."
"I don't feel like you should have to be 'holier than thou' to do God's work. Your work from God is to fulfill your mission to serve yourself and people and maintaining good character while doing it. Sexuality is also not just revealing skin, it's a whole attitude. You can seduce someone with simply words or your mind. Either way, you don't need to be modest about something that is a power, even if others want to hold prejudice."
Bias Against Sexuality in Spiritual Communities
"There is definitely many biases in the spiritual community. I recently have found that with the goddess and divine feminine being trendy, women are embodying that energy, but women who have actually walked the path of sex work often don't get treated with the same respect. I've experienced a lot of hatred too for being an open sexual being from even people with the same spiritual practices as me, especially since I'm supposed to be a 'leader.' I've also found that sometimes, women hide their pain still in expressing sexuality. I used to be a woman who held a lot of pain from my sexuality and what I used it for. Sometimes we have to ask if it's solely attention seeking and that is directly rooted to self-love. I feel like where you channel it and what the intention behind it is, is very important."
Her Affirmation for Sexuality and Embodying The Divine Feminine
"A woman who knows the wealth of her love and power, along with the prosperity of her soul, not allowing anyone to take it for granted, is priceless. Overcome your stigmas and master your self-love, and you will unlock your biggest secret weapon ever."
*Featured Image: @evyan.whitney by @extracelestial
- What Is Feminine Energy? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- I Tried Energy Healing, Guide - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- I Tried Energy Healing, Guide - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Sex Is a Spiritual Need | Focus on the Family ›
- Sacred Sex & How To Do It - mindbodygreen ›
- Why Sex Should Be Treated As A Spiritual Practice - mindbodygreen ›
- What is Spiritual Sex - Full Definiton Subject - YouTube ›
- Sex and Spirituality | Psychology Today ›
- Spiritual Sex: Ecstatic Love Beyond The Physical | HuffPost ›
- How to Harness Sexual Energy For Spiritual Growth & Healing ›
- What is Spiritual Sex? ⋆ LonerWolf ›
- Spiritual Sex ›
Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
Chief Mom Officer: 23 Quotes From Working Moms Finding Their Balance
The truth is, Black moms create magic every single day. Whether we're juggling motherhood with a busy 9-5, a thriving business, or staying at home to run a household, no day is short of amazing when you're managing life as a mommy. This Mother's Day, xoNecole is giving flowers to CMOs (Chief Mom Officers) in business who exemplify the strength it takes to balance work with motherhood.
We've commissioned these ladies, who are pillars in their respective industries, for tidbits of advice to get you through the best and worst days of mothering. Here, they share their "secret sauce" and advice for other moms trying to find their rhythm.
Emmelie De La Cruz, Chief Strategist at One Day CMO
"My mom friends and I all laugh and agree: Motherhood is the ghettoest thing you will ever do. It's beautiful and hard all at the same time, but one day you will wake up and feel like 'I got this' and you will get the hang of it. After 4 months, I finally felt like I found my footing to keep my kid and myself alive, but it took vulnerability to take off the cape and be honest about the areas that I didn't have it all together. The healing (physically and emotionally) truly does happen in community - whatever and whoever that looks like for you."
Alizè V. Garcia, Director Of Social & Community Impact at Nike
"I would tell a new mom or a prospective mother that they must give themselves grace, understand and remember there is no right way to do this thing and have fun! When I had my daughter three and a half years ago, I was petrified! I truly had no clue about what to do and how I was going to do it. But with time, my confidence grew and I realized quickly that I have all the tools I need to be the mother I want to be."
Nikki Osei-Barrett, Publicist + Co-Founder of The Momference
"There's no balance. I'm dropping sh*t everywhere! However, my secret sauce is pursuing interests and hobbies outside of what's required of me and finding time to workout. Stronger body equals = stronger mind."
Lauren Grove, Chief Experience Architect, The Grant Access, LLC
"I try to give myself grace. That’s my mantra for this phase of motherhood…grace. I won’t be able to get everything done. To have a spotless house. To not lose my cool after an exhausting day. Those things can’t happen all of the time. But I can take a deep breath and know tomorrow is another day and my blessings are more plentiful than my pitfalls."
Rachel Nicks, Founder & CEO of Birth Queen
"You have the answers within you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Curate your life to work for you. Ask for help."
Tanisha Colon-Bibb, Founder + CEO Rebelle Agency + Rebelle Management
"I know love doesn't pay bills but when I am overwhelmed with work or client demands I take a moment to play with my baby and be reminded of the love, energy, science, and Godliness that went into his birth. I am brightened by his smile and laugh. I remember I am someone's parent and not just a work horse. That at the end of the day everything will work out for the good of my sanity and the love within my life."
Christina Brown, Founder of LoveBrownSugar & BabyBrownSugar
"Learning your rhythm as a mom takes time and can be uncomfortable when you’re in a season of overwhelm. Constantly check in with yourself and assess what’s working and what’s not. Get the help you need without feeling guilty or ashamed of needing it."
Mecca Tartt, Executive Director of Startup Runway Foundation
"I want to be the best for myself, my husband, children and company. However, the reality is you can have it all but not at the same time. My secret sauce is outsourcing and realizing that it’s okay to have help in order for me to perform at the highest level."
Jen Hayes Lee, Head Of Marketing at The Bump (The Knot Worldwide)
"My secret sauce is being direct and honest with everyone around me about what I need to be successful in all of my various "jobs". Setting boundaries is one thing, but if you're the only one who knows they exist, your partners at home and on the job can't help you maintain them. I also talk to my kids like adults and let them know why mommy needs to go to this conference or get this massage...they need to build an appreciation for my needs too!"
Whitney Gayle-Benta, Chief Music Officer JKBX
"What helps me push through each day is the motivation to continue by thinking about my son. All my efforts, though exhausting, are to create a wonderful life for him."
Ezinne Okoro, Global Chief Inclusion, Equity, & Diversity Officer at Wunderman Thompson,
"The advice I received that I’ll pass on is, you will continue to figure it out and find your rhythm as your child grows into new stages. Trust your nurturing intuition, parent on your terms, and listen to your child."
Jovian Zayne, CEO of The OnPurpose Movement
"I live by the personal mantra: 'You can’t be your best self by yourself.' My life feels more balanced when I offer the help I can give and ask for the help I need. This might mean outsourcing housecleaning for my home, or hiring additional project management support for my business."
Simona Noce Wright, Co-Founder of District Motherhued and The Momference
"Each season of motherhood (depending on age, grade, workload) requires a different rhythm. With that said, be open to learning, to change, and understand that what worked for one season may not work the other...and that's okay."
Janaye Ingram, Director of Community Partner Programs and Engagement at Airbnb
"My daughter's smile and sweet spirit help me to feel gratitude when I'm overwhelmed. I want her to see a woman who doesn't quit when things get hard."
Codie Elaine Oliver, CEO & Founder of Black Love
"I try to listen to my body and simply take a break. With 3 kids and a business with 10+ team members, I often feel overwhelmed. I remind myself that I deserve grace for everything I'm juggling, I take a walk or have a snack or even head home to see my kids, and then I get back to whatever I need to get done."
Jewel Burks Solomon, Managing Partner at Collab Capital
"Get comfortable with the word ‘no’. Be very clear about your non-negotiables and communicate them to those around you."
Julee Wilson, Executive Director at BeautyUnited and Beauty Editor-at-Large at Cosmopolitan
"Understand you can’t do it alone — and that’s ok. Relinquish the need to control everything. Create a village and lean on them."
Salwa Benyaich, Director Of Pricing and Planning at Premion
"Most days I really try to shut my computer off by 6 pm; there are always exceptions of course when it comes to big deals or larger projects but having this as a baseline allows me to be much more present with my kids. I love the fact that I can either help with homework or be the designated driver to at least one afterschool activity. Work can be draining but there is nothing more emotionally draining than when you feel as though you are missing out on moments with your kids."
Brooke Ellis, Head of Global Marketing & Product Launches at Amazon Music
My calendar, prayer, pilates class at Forma, a good playlist, and oatmilk lattes all help get me through any day.
Courtney Beauzile, Global Director of Client and Business Development at Shearman & Sterling
My husband is a partner who steps in when I just can’t. My mom and my MIL come through whenever and however I need. My kids have many uncles and aunts and they will lend an ear, go over homework, teach life lessons, be a presence or a prayer warrior depending on the day.
Robin Snipes, Chief of Staff at Meta
"Enjoy the time you have to yourself because once kids come those times will be few and far between."
Monique Bivens, CEO & Founder at Brazilian Babes LLC.
"For new moms, it is very important that you get back into a habit or routine of something you use to do before you were pregnant. Consider the actives and things that give you the most joy and make the time to do them."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Westend61/Getty Images
- 20 Inspirational Quotes That'll Motivate TF Out Of You ›
- Tracee Ellis Ross Breaks Down What ‘Wander, Ponder, And Be’ Means To Her ›
- 20 Quotes About Black Love That Will Make You A True Love Believer ›
- 14 Quotes From Black Feminists To Inspire You To Boss Up ›
- 10 Inspirational Issa Rae Quotes For When You Need Them Most ›
This Is Why Your Bright Under-Eye Technique Is Not Giving
If you are a fan of the bright under-eye, then you have the legendary makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin to thank. The bright under-eye is only one of the major techniques that Aucoin brought to the forefront of the makeup industry in the ‘90s. The purpose of concealing the under-eye area is to hide blemishes and discoloration, redness, dark circles, and under-eye bags. However, according to Aucoin’s techniques, its main purpose is to lift and sculpt the face adding a new level of dimension.
The bright under-eye can be difficult to achieve. These are some of the common mistakes that are holding you back from sculpted bright under eyes that are giving!
1. You are not using the correct concealer shade.
Using two concealers makes a huge difference. Start with a shade 1-2 shades lighter than your skin tone. Followed by a shade that is 3-4 times lighter and placed closer to the inner eye to do the heavy lifting and give the bright effect.
Two shades diffuse well into each other and give a cohesive result.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
2. You are not blending enough.
Don't underestimate the power behind a complete blend-out! Blending your concealer fully is a make-or-break step for the bright under-eye look. Fully blending allows for a seamless transition between the areas of the face meant to be highlighted, and the areas meant to create depth and shadows. So take your time and make sure there are no harsh lines.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
3. You are not properly setting the under-eye area.
Set the under-eye using a loose setting powder or brightening powder. The key here is to choose a powder complementary to your skin's undertone and proper placement to prevent creasing. Focus the majority of the powder on the inner eye and defuse the remaining powder to the rest of the powder under the eye.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Catherine Falls Commercial/Getty Images