Traditionally, many of us have stayed away from having sex during our menstrual cycle because we feel like it will be messy and ugly.
We've even seen plenty of scenarios where a woman says she can't get busy because she's on her period. And in most cases, we are that woman.
I know I've been guilty of being super self-conscious; wondering if I have that "period odor" or if I'll leave a gross, bloody mess behind and completely ruin the vibe. But in reality, period sex does wonders for the body in more ways than one. So, instead of letting our period block us from experiencing a sensational high that we've been craving, we can embrace the idea of it actually enhancing our sexual experience and bodies as a whole.
Get you some!
Ease Those Cramps
It turns out an orgasm is quite the remedy for period cramps; which we all know are the worst. Apparently, when we reach our sexual peaks during an orgasm, our bodies give off oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins that make period cramps a little less painful and more bearable. It might even be great enough for you to replace your cramp medicine with good, old-fashioned sex. I'm here for it!
You’ll Want It Even More
Once you get past the awkward moment of having your first sexual experience during your period, don't be surprised if you find yourself wanting to do it even more. Having period sex boosts the desire to, well, have more sex while on the cycle. There's a variety of things that play into this, from hormone levels to physical changes our bodies experience while on our period. But either way, it looks like going for it could work out better than waiting for your period to end.
Sex More, Stress Less
Yes, period sex can even reduce stress! If anything, this serves as an excuse to get it on as much as possible during our cycles, because we all know that stress can get out of control. According to Very Well, a study conducted by Arizona State University showed that the women in the study who had affection and sexual behavior with their partner had less stress and were in a better mood the following day. Enough said.
Treat Headaches
Along with cramps, one of the most irritating side effects of being on our period is having headaches. Thankfully, having sex while on the cycle can also help alleviate that. And it's not always just for the time being. According to a study obtained by PopSugar, 70% of people who suffered migraines said they felt "moderate to complete relief" concerning their headaches while having sex. That's as good of a reason as any to enjoy intercourse while on your period.
Your Period Can Get Shorter
Isn't that ironic? All this time a lot of us have been worrying about having sex during our period, when doing so can actually reduce the number of days we're actually on our cycle. Here's how it works: Whenever you have an orgasm, the uterus tightens and shrinks; its lining diminishes even quicker. Along with making your period shorter, which is a score in itself for some, period sex can also push out the particles in the uterus that make us get cramps.
Help Get Your Cycle On Track
For the ladies who have an irregular cycle, research has shown that period sex can help you have more steady cycles. But the reason why is so bizarre, sis. Women's Health reported that "frequent boot knocking" (their words not mine) can help you get more up close and personal with the sweat of your male partner's armpit. Legit, and you don't actually have to smell his armpit. Here's a fun fact: While being on our period has taken the slack for not wanting to have sex, the actual hormone that does this is at its all-time low during your cycle.
Catch More Zzz's
Apparently, period sex can actually put you to sleep; which is a huge bonus for those of us who stay up tossing and turning in search of a pillow to put between our legs. Sex creates more oxytocin and lowers the amount of cortisol (reducing stress) – enhancing hormonal changes that help your body relax even more. On top of that, there is even more estrogen in the body than a typical day, which causes us to fall into an even deeper sleep.
No Need For Lube
If you're someone who is typically drier down there during sexual moments, your fluid from your period can actually serve as an amazing and natural lubricant. Keep in mind that, according to Hello Flo, women typically lose four to 12 teaspoons of fluid during their period. And it's not all blood. Still, this fluid not only cancels out the need of interrupting the moment to apply a lubricant, but it also improves and heightens the overall level of satisfaction that you and your partner can experience.
It Improves Overall Intimacy
When you let go of the worry of having sex during your menstrual cycle, it can actually enhance the intimacy between you and your partner. You'll want it more, and your sex drive will be at a very high peak (if not the highest), which will result in turning on your partner even more. Plus, it can probably make your significant other feel even more special because you trust them enough to have this moment despite feeling awkward about it initially. It's like the circle of life.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
