'All The Queen's Men' Actress Nzinga Imani On Unapologetically Taking Up Space
Nzinga Imani is a name you may want to get familiar with. She is an actress, the owner of Nimani Boutique, a singer, and a plus-sized model who has wowed fans with her talent on social media and TV. She can currently be seen in shows including BET+'s All the Queen's Men, BET Her's Curves and a YouTube series, "Pretty for a Big Gurl." While she is steadily taking over the small screen, she's also using her social media pages to spread body positivity by proudly embracing her curves.
The first-generation Guyanase-American beauty has even addressed the criticism she has faced online for displaying her body and even spoke out about TikTok flagging her videos because of it. However, Nzinga has remained positive and continues spreading her light across social media. Besides landing TV roles on a major network, the actress just released her collab with popular online fashion boutique Fashion to Figure.
xoNecole caught up Nzinga with to talk about body positivity, her role on All the Queen's Men, and why she unapologetically takes up space as an actress.
xoNecole: You star in several projects on BET+, BET Her, and YouTube. How does it feel to see your stock literally rising in the acting world?
Nzinga Imani: It feels incredible. It feels affirming. It's everything I've been working toward these past several years. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to pursue acting, and it's been a steady climb ever since consistently working and being able to do what I love. There's nothing better than that—to see progression in the field—because as much as I've worked, a lot of times it felt like roadblocks were put up.
I'd get somewhere and then the project would be sidelined or I think I'm cast in a lead in a major production that's funded by this network and that network, and then they table the entire show even after we've filmed it. So, there's so many times that you'll think that you're moving forward and then the roadblock will hit, but it's in some ways connected to where you're supposed to be.
"As much as I've worked, a lot of times it felt like roadblocks were put up. There's so many times that you'll think that you're moving forward and then the roadblock will hit, but it's in some ways connected to where you're supposed to be."
Kaylin James of Howell Designs
In 'All the Queen's Men,' you play a character named Dawn, and you have a nude scene. What was your first reaction to finding out that you were going to do that?
I knew that the scene was nude when I auditioned for it. The moment I auditioned for it, I had some reservations for maybe five seconds and then I was like, 'Hey, it's an audition. I'm just gonna submit and see what happens.' When I got the call that I actually got it, I was first in shock because I was like, 'Really?'
Although they allowed me to audition for it, I still wasn't sure once they got the tape and physically if they would still [be] interested in using me. But I just had fun with the audition, and when they told me I got it, it was a little shocking, but I also knew I had killed that audition because it was a fun one.
Did you know this role would be a game-changer, as far as being a plus-sized woman having a nude scene on TV?
I absolutely knew that it was going to be a game-changer. I know, for myself, seeing all these shows and seeing how there's more and more nude scenes on television, a lot of the time, it's the stereotypical body that they show. It's the perfectly flat stomachs and the perfectly proportioned women and you don't see a lot of typical body types because 67% of women in the U.S. are plus-sized. But when we show that in the media, it's not reflective of what the reality is. You just see a bunch of what they consider perfect-type bodies on screen.
I had seen someone who was just barely plus-sized before in a sex scene, and I knew how much that meant to me to see her even though she doesn't really represent me or my culture, and she didn't look like me. Just the fact that she wasn't the stereotypical body type, it meant a lot to me. So, I was excited to be that for someone else and I've been receiving so many messages about what that meant to other women. To see me, 3XL body out there on TV and how they felt represented and seen—it was a big reason why I felt comfortable to do it and felt like it was something I could do and be proud of doing.
"To see me, 3XL body out there on TV and how they felt represented and seen—it was a big reason why I felt comfortable to do it and felt like it was something I could do and be proud of doing."
Kaylin James of Howell Designs
You're also a content creator who posts many photos and videos on social celebrating your body. While you receive lots of love, how do you rise above criticism?
I think that I always remember that there will always be someone who has something negative to say about what you're doing. No matter what you are doing, there's always going to be a group of people who hate what you stand for, and you just have to remember who you're standing up for and what your goal is. For me, it's just not to let something as benign as my weight stop me from doing everything that I want to do.
I've been part of a community that showed me that plus-sized women can be mothers, business owners, entrepreneurs. They can do anything. They are just powerful beyond measure. So often society tries to make us feel like we're less than if you're plus-size, then you're undesirable, but that's just not true.
I think [it's about] just kind of pushing [away] that stereotype and showing other women and girls like me that you don't have to listen to what they say and that you are desired and you are phenomenal and you can do anything despite your weight and that shouldn't even be such a big deal as people make it out to be.
You posted a video on TikTok calling the platform "fatphobic." Other TikTok creators have spoken out against TikTok in relation to censorship. What are some things you've experienced?
Although I do have a nude scene on BET+, I have not posted anything nude or in any way sexualized, to me, on my platforms. I don't violate community standards. I don't post sexual content. So, for them to continually take down posts and the content that I spend sometimes hours creating because of "nudity" or "sexually explicit" content and it would just be me in a crop top, it kind of got to the point where I just was overwhelmed and just irritated that they were consistently able to take down my content that wasn't hurting anyone. It was only promoting self-love—never anything sexual. They were consistently taking it down for violations that didn't exist.
Meanwhile, other people can wear the same things, if not less, than me and their page is not taken down. People can say horrible things and be mean on there, and they don't suspend them or block those pages, but in the meantime, they take down my posts. So, it just became very [irritating] to see that kind of behavior repeated over and over again. So many of my videos were deleted. So many of my videos were banned, and there was even a moment where I thought my page might get taken down. When you put so much time into a platform, to know that your page can be taken down—[due to] no fault of your own, just based on someone else's bias—I was done.
We see so many people talk about body positivity, more now especially with celebs like Lizzo in the forefront, but what does body positivity mean to you?
To me, body positivity is just loving yourself where you are right now. It doesn't mean that you can't be working toward a different body goal or you can't be disciplined. [It also means] not letting other people's opinions or biases affect the way you move throughout the world because there's always going to be people who look down on you or have something to say, but if you can stand up tall with your chest out and really defend yourself and not let their negative comments affect you, I feel like that's what the whole body positivity movement is about—having that community to back you up so you know you're not alone.
You know you don't deserve less and just having a support system—I think it's what the whole movement is here for. When I was growing up, I didn't really have that around or I didn't know there was this community of plus-sized people who were killing the game and successful in every avenue of life. Once I grew up and was introduced to that world, it made me realize I don't have to settle. I don't have to hide.
"If you can stand up tall with your chest out and really defend yourself and not let their negative comments affect you, I feel like that's what the whole body positivity movement is about. Once I grew up and was introduced to that world, it made me realize I don't have to settle. I don't have to hide."
Kaylin James of Howell Designs
What do you want people who are following your journey to take away from it?
I would just like to be an example of how resilience and authenticity can put you in the places where you want to be. I'm just trying to be 100% myself all the time, showing my personality whether it be a goofy day, a sexy day, whatever it is because we're not one-dimensional.
So, just being authentic with my audience, I feel has given me the momentum I need to feel confident when I walk into those rooms and when I walk into those auditions and I hope that my audience continues to see that authenticity in me and my performances, and my characters. No matter who they are, I always try to bring a little of myself into the characters to find that truth, because we all have that in common.
For more of Nzinga, follow her on Instagram @nzingaimani and on YouTube or check out her website is NzingaImani.com.
Featured image courtesy of Kaylin James of Howell Designs
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How To Tell If You're Disciplining Your Child Or Seeking Revenge
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images