
What Self-Care Looks Like To Black Girl Beautiful Founder Nikia Phoenix

In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
If nothing else, Nikia Phoenix is proof that there is undeniable power and wherewithal in a name. Symbolically, a phoenix is flamed bird that represents renewal and rising above challenges to succeed and be powerful. As a multifaceted woman, the Atlanta-based creative has made waves in a bevy of industries: as a model, a writer, a managing editor, an influencer and anything else that she sets her mind to accomplish. "No one can put me in a box. I am stepping into my stride and becoming the person I always knew I could be. A title or occupation does not define or limit me," she told xoNecole. "What I am doing now in this moment is part of the evolution."
And the evolution encompasses what she's doing now, which is being a light in the efforts to propel black female empowerment with initiatives like her movement Black Girl Beautiful. Black Girl Beautiful began as a beauty and shopping event for women of color by women of color after Nikia realized the needs of black women weren't being met. "We were and still are spending all this money on beauty products yet not enough brands were catering to us," she explained. "I figured it was time to educate us, empower us, and mobilize."
With the much-needed mantra of "Hey black girl, you're beautiful," the initiative has since bloomed into a safe collaborative space for black women and all women of color. "I want BGB to ignite the flame in other women so we can set this world on fire. I truly believe in the power of black womanhood," Nikia concluded.
In this installment of Finding Balance, we talk to Nikia about affirmations, a typical day in the life, and ultimately how she finds balance.
Why do you think it’s important that we hear, “Hey black girl, you’re beautiful”? What are some of your favorite affirmations?
Nikia Phoenix
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
It's critical that we hear and see this simple affirmation "Hey black girl, you're beautiful" or "Hey brown girl, you're beautiful" because all of us still have yet to completely believe it. We've gotten so used to the world tearing us down and the lies that we can be so self-deprecating. In order to combat this negativity, we have to tell ourselves that we are loved, we live in abundance, and that we are worth it.
And what makes you feel beautiful?
My heart makes me feel beautiful. It leads everything that I do. It allows me to come from a place of love and deep intention. My heart allows me to see the beauty in everything.
You recently unveiled a Brown Girl Beautiful mural in Atlanta, how did that idea come to you to create this mural?
Atlanta is a city full of black people. We are the majority, however there have been very few murals specifically dedicated to uplifting women of color. I'm an agent of change and knew I needed to fix this. I knew what the message would be. I knew the artist, Faatimah Stevens, who could help me create it. What I didn't know is how it would actually come to fruition... In steps Pledge World, who said they wanted to help me fulfill this dream.
I think of the mural as my love letter to brown women. In bold print alongside a beautiful sketch of my friend Mary Akpa donning a crown, the mural says "Hey Brown Girl You're Beautiful." Talk about powerful! The colors, the imagery, the words literally stop people in their tracks. Brown girls are able to see themselves reflected in this piece of art. The message affirms what I know to be true of us and I hope every black and brown girl feels this love.
What does the average day or week look like for you?
Every day is a bit different. Every week is a bit different. I am always working on a project from conception to completion. With everything I do, I'm very hands-on. But inspiration has to come from somewhere, so I make time to live. Maybe one week, I'm traveling. Maybe I'm ideating for the next adventure. I breathe creativity.
What are your mornings like? How do you wind down at night?
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
Mornings are my favorite time of day. I ease into it. I wake up with prayer and meditation then make my way into my daily affirmations. I love, love creating peace to start my day. At night, I wind down by lighting candles or incense and meditating. With all is hectic in this world, I have to bookend my day with love.
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week?
The most hectic part of my week depends on what I'm working on. I do my best not to have a Case of the Mondays. Starting my week in a frenzy is not the business. Other than that, if there is a hectic time of the week, it's most likely Thursday afternoon, because I know I'm trying to complete all my tasks before the weekend.
Do you practice any types of self-care?
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
Self-care for me is daily. It's saying affirmations. It's unplugging from technology. It's spending quality time with people I love without talking business. At night, I love turning down the lights, lighting a candle, and dancing in my bedroom. This allows my soul to be free. Simply put, self-care is literally me loving on me.
What are some products and rituals you swear by in the name of self-care?
Washing my hair on the weekends is also self-care for me. While my hair is deep conditioning with SheaMoisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil hair masque, I'll put on one of those Korean sheet masks from The Face Shop and chill out. I'm also obsessed with rosewater face mist and my jade roller. Talk about an instant face massage to lift my spirits.
How do you find balance with:
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
Love/Marriage?
When I love, I love hard. I give it my all or nothing. I guess that is my balance. I do know that love fuels me. It's essential to my being.
Friends?
It's about making the conscious effort to be present. Any relationship, whether that's romantic or platonic, needs to come from a place of respect and not obligation. I feed into what feeds into and nourishes me.
Exercise/Health? Do you ever detox?
A year or so ago, I began practicing kundalini yoga, and it's become my saving grace. It helps me release the frustration and work through difficulties by pushing my body and realigning my spirit.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I have to give myself the space to work through the feelings fully. That may mean hanging upside and screaming my head off or whatever I need to do to relieve the tension in a healthy way. I'll talk out the problem. I'll meditate. Then I come up with a solution. The trick is not to dwell in the hole. Dig your way out.
What does success mean to you?
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
My intention is to evoke feeling... to evoke love. At this point, I get so much joy from watching a complete stranger being moved by my work. If what I create encourages and lifts someone else up, that's my goal. Success means feeling like I am living on purpose and being fulfilled.
Ultimately, how do you find balance?
I laugh. I cry. I do both at the same time. And most importantly, I LOVE. Love brings balance.
For more of Nikia Phoenix, follow her on Instagram. And check out previous installments of xoNecole's Finding Balance here.
Featured image by Vanessa Hamb, courtesy of Nikia Phoenix
Originally published March 31, 2019
After Decades-Long Career, Terri J. Vaughn Is Finally The Main Character: Exclusive
Terri J. Vaughn first captured our attention in the late ‘90s as Lovita Alizay Jenkins on The Steve Harvey Show. Decades later, she is starring in her very own series, She The People, which is now available to stream on Netflix.
The political sitcom, which she co-created with Niya Palmer and later teamed up with Tyler Perry Studios, is about a Black woman named Antoinette Dunkerson who runs for lieutenant governor of Mississippi. She wins and becomes the state’s first Black lieutenant governor. Now, she’s forced to balance working with a racist and sexist governor while also trying to keep her family from running amok.
According to the beloved actress, this project was a long time coming. “I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff,” she says in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“But just keep going, because this is what I do. This is what I love, and I know how important it is for us to continue to show up and make sure that we are seen, make sure that our voices are heard. For several reasons. I just never give up. So here I am, 20 years later, finally sold my show.”
She The People is inspired by the true story of London Breed, who became the first Black female mayor of San Francisco, Terri’s hometown. And to help make the show more authentic, the Cherish the Day actress tapped former Atlanta mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms to come on as a producer.'“I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff."
After bringing the former mayor aboard, it was time to pitch again. And this time, the companies were pitching them. Ultimately, Terri decided to work with Tyler Perry on the series.
“We decided to do it with Tyler for several reasons. I love that. Well, most of the companies we met with were Black-owned companies, but he was the only studio,” she explains. “Tyler is like Walt Disney. That's literally what he is. He has the studio, he has the content. He operates just like Walt Disney.”
And thanks to the cast, the show is nothing short of laughs. The series also stars social media creator Jade Novah as Antoinette’s crazy cousin/ assistant, Shamika, Family Mattersstar Jo Marie Payton as Anotinette’s mom, Cleo, and Terri’s husband, Karon Riley, who plays Michael, her driver and love interest.
While we’ve watched Terri’s career blossom in various ways. From directing to producing, and playing diverse characters, the mom of two says her The Steve Harvey Show character will always be her favorite.
“Well, Lovita was definitely my favorite, especially for my time, the age and everything that I was. Now as a grown ass woman over 50, Antoinette Dunkerson is everything that I've wanted to play. She's everything. She's a mother of two teenagers. She's divorced, so she's co-parenting with her ex-husband. She has to wrangle in a very eclectic family,” she says.
“So I like playing characters that are really flawed and trying to figure it out and doing their best to try to figure it. And she's very flawed and she is trying to figure it out, and she fucks up sometimes. But her heart and what she's trying to do and what her vision is and purpose, it's all for the people. I mean, she the people. She’s for the people, she is the people.”
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Feature image by Jamie Lamor Thompson/ Shutterstock
Black, Outside & Thriving: This Camping Itinerary Is The Reset You Deserve
Here's something many Black folk don’t always see us doing—but we absolutely should: camping. Yeah, I know. Bugs, wild animals, dirt, and no WiFi? That Black camping itinerary might sound like the start of a horror movie, right? But hear me out.
Many of us may have grown up thinking camping was something we just don’t do, and we have good reasons to decline or be apprehensive. I mean, none of us, our parents, nor our ancestors grew up jumping for joy to add a sprinkle of redlining, discrimination, exclusion, cultural disconnection, and access challenges to our outdoor recreation activities, right?
Well, I’ve been on safaris in South Africa, hiked waterfall-lined paths in Jamaica, and enjoyed sunset tequila tastings at high-end Mexican resorts, but camping? It was definitely a surprisingly fun 10-out-of-10 adventure I’d gladly embark on again. When Kampgrounds of America (KOA) invited me to join a Black camper’s retreat hosted by Black People Outside at the Cape Charles Chesapeake Bay KOA Resort in Virginia, I couldn’t say no.
I mean, while camping for some of us might be a hard pass, for me, it was an opportunity to reconnect with a childhood memory, try out glamping in a state-of-the-art camper, and see a part of Virginia that I didn’t grow up visiting as a child in the Hampton Roads communities my maternal family called home back then.
RISE IN INTEREST: Black Folk Camping And Creating Safe Spaces
Kameron Stanton, left, and Chevon Linear, founders of Black People Outside
Courtesy
And my adult curiosity and affinity for the outdoors are shared by a growing number of my peers. Black people made up 14% of campers in 2024, an increase from 11% in 2019, according to a recent KOA report. There’s an emerging trend of Black campers taking on nature-centered adventures like skiing, foraging, hiking, and van dwelling.
We’re definitely not new to this, but certainly true to it—from author and anthropologist Zora Neal Hurston to pioneering park ranger Betty Reid Soskin to Outdoor Afro founder Rue Mapp to the many other women who have boldly advocated for liberation, inclusion, and exploration in outdoor spaces.
And with Black People Outside, founded by Chicago-based couple Kameron Stanton and Chevon “Chev” Linear, the Black camping experience reflected something that happens whenever we show up to the party: cultural connection, unapologetic fun, good vibes, and our own unique flair for soul-stirring memories. I enjoyed a luxe VIP stay in a Platinum Salem RV among the who’s who of media, and it was divine.
So, whether you’re looking for a reset in a world where we’re constantly navigating microaggressions and systemic stress, or you just want something fun and off-the-beaten path for your next travel rendezvous, take a nod from this camping itinerary, perfect to celebrate Black joy and community:
WHERE I STAYED: Glamping In A Luxury RV Rental In Cape Charles, Va.
The beach side of Kampgrounds of America's Cape Charles, Va. property
Courtesy of Kampgrounds of America (KOA)
For this trip, I stayed in a Salem Fsx Platinum RV that was rented via RVShare.com. (Think of it like the Airbnb of camper rentals.) You basically filter for the type, location, and other amenities, and you book the camper.
With KOA, you can visit their website or use their app to find a campsite for parking the RV among one of their more than 500 campgrounds across the U.S.
You can have the RV delivered to the KOA campsite of your choosing (depending on the rental, host policies, and rates). I highly recommend letting the host set it up, especially as a newbie camper. The KOA staff was also very helpful in assisting when I needed anything explained or a small hiccup resolved. (I’m no expert on the ins and outs of outdoor plumbing, electrical hookups, and camper pull-out features, so this comes in handy.)
Cabins at Kampgrounds of America's Cape Charles, Va. site
Courtesy of Kampgrounds of America (KOA)
Let’s get into the top-tier features of this camper: It had a master bedroom with a smart TV, a closet, and shelf space. The bathroom had a vanity, cabinet space, and a shower (with an adjustable shower head and hot water with great pressure). There was digital AC and heating in both the bedroom and the front of the camper, along with a dining nook and a kitchen with lots of cabinet space, a full-sized stove, refrigerator, and microwave.
I enjoyed a lot of time in the camper's lounge area with a smart TV and fireplace. The RV was decorated like a modern studio apartment on wheels. There was also a guest room with bunk beds, storage, and games. Outside, there was a retractable awning, LED lights, and a sound system (that played music by the fire pit!)
I stocked my fridge with all my dream camp snacks, hosted an impromptu late-night pow-wow (to bring the party inside during the campsite’s “quiet hours”), and used KOA’s inclusive WiFi access, which was strong and reliable my whole time there.
WHAT I DID: Lodging Options, Town Exploration & Recreation
Hiking in Kiptopeke State Park in Cape Charles, Va.
Courtesy
If you don’t want to rent an RV, the Cape Charles KOA campground also offered safari tents (that look just like the ones I saw in South Africa), grass lots to build your own tents and set up, cabins that reminded me of Bermuda cottages, and drive-up options for groups with RVs. There was an on-site pool, private beach access, a beach-side restaurant and bar, and a welcome center that offered souvenirs, information, and snacks.
I also learned how to pitch a tent from scratch (via a completion where my teammate and I won a bottle of sparkling wine), how to start a fire from scratch (a lesson led by Kameron), and the best ways to find a good hiking trail in your community (Kameron and Chev walked us through Kiptopeke State Park, where there are opportunities for bird watching, kayaking, yurt camping, fishing and swimming at the beach.)
And if you want to take things to another level, charter a boat or rent one via a hosting platform or with recommendations from the KOA staff. Go fishing or just enjoy a recreational day out on the Chesapeake Bay.
SAFETY & INCLUSION
The winning tent-building duo at the KOA campground in Cape Charles, Va.
Courtesy
Now, safety: The whole time, I felt loved and welcome, as the KOA campground in Cape Charles was a secure property that required access cards, had staff readily available day and night, enforced rules on speed limits and quiet hours, and had decent lighting around the grounds. I also felt a sense of peace and rest because nobody really bothered me. Either people were super-friendly or just minded their business, and I didn’t mind that.
There was lots of laughter, ish-talking, roasted s'mores, wine, and dancing among a diverse group of Black women creatives, journalists, PR pros, podcast hosts, and authors—and that brought on a profoundly magical sense of security and connection in and of itself.
Also, camping—as any experience for me, due to my worldview—is what you make it. The KOA staff were super-helpful and personable, Chev cooked divine breakfast tacos and a crab boil with locally sourced seafood, our hosts created a Spotify playlist filled with reggae, dancehall, salsa, R&B and hip-hop hits we all loved, and I even met the owner of the camper, a kind, tatted, middle-aged family man who shared his journey into entrepreneurship and his love for customer service.
We spent the final night of the trip with a little party by the fire pit and a viewing of Super High, a clever animated film about fibroids, cannabis, and self-care by a fellow camper on the trip, Bianca Lambert, and celebrated the upcoming birthday of another amazing media entrepreneur, Nneka M. Okona.
Time well spent with amazing Black creatives, journalists, PR pros, and authors in Cape Charles, Va.
Courtesy
We took a drive into “town,” which for any small community near water is where all the action is. There were breakfast diners, seafood spots right by the water, art galleries, and bars. While there may have been a few blank stares here and there, I found most folk to be friendly enough to return a “Hello,” or a smile. (And those who didn't, I really don't regard as worthy of disturbing my peace and openness to fully enjoy a new experience.)
The shops were diverse both in nature, vibe, and offerings. One shop even had items made in Kenya, Mexico, and Guatemala, and, according to the woman behind the counter, advocates for the women creatives and artisans who made the items.
Camping offers revolutionary rest, freedom, and healing—an act of self-care and reconnection. When Black folk show up in nature, for ourselves and for our communities, it’s powerful, reminding everyone that the mountains, the trees, the oceans, the rivers—they all belong to us, too. It’s now a bucket-list travel adventure I'd gladly repeat.
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Featured image courtesy of Janell Hazelwood