Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Meisha Amia, originally from Cambridge, Maryland, has changed the game in the healthcare industry. While she has been in the industry for over eight years, she has taken her passion in helping people into multiple streams of income, where she can live the lifestyle she deserves. In 2012, Meisha Amia started blogging to share her journey as a travel nurse. This led to her writing her own self-help book entitled The Bedside Boss: From Scrubs to Six Figures. This book has inspired so many other nurses to step outside of their comfort zones and strive to generate more wealth.
Courtesy of Meisha Amia
In 2016, Meisha Amia created the online platform, Chicks with Cheques. Chicks with Cheques is a full membership based curriculum that teaches hundreds of digital strategies needed to run an online business and grow a profitable brand. This community has grown to more than 30,000 female entrepreneurs and nurses. Meisha Amia is not only passionate about helping nurses create wealth for themselves, but she is adamant about changing the narrative of black women who deserve to have the finer things in life. Meisha does not believe in the idea of cheating ourselves in financial freedom and is determined to teach others how it's done.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with Meisha Amia about how she pivoted from dealing with a traumatic loss, the importance of being strategic with money, and how every woman deserves a Chanel bag.
xoNecole: How much money do you make in a year? A month?
Meisha Amia: I am used to having a $20K - 40K monthly income since becoming a travel nurse. Basically, I am contracted independently or through a third party via hospital organizations that are short staffed. I usually negotiate my contracts and before the pandemic, I was making around $20K a month. But during the pandemic, it has been $40K a month.
What do you define as “wealth” and “success”?
Wealth to me is freedom. What I mean by that is having the freedom to say "no" or taking a vacation for a month when you feel like it. Just being able to have the freedom to make choices that doesn't jeopardize your net worth. That is what wealth looks like to me. Now success, success is being able to serve and make an impact on others. It's not really the monetary side in my opinion. I can find success through the amount of people I've helped during this journey or the amount of people I've inspired because of my story.
What’s the lowest you’ve ever felt when it comes to your finances?
Being a contractor can be up and down. So at those low moments, I have definitely felt hopeless and depressed. I went through a traumatic loss two years ago and within those two years, I was not motivated to work. I unfortunately lost a lot of money that eventually got me into debt. What got me through was getting into therapy. Therapy was a game-changer for me and I was able to find my motivation again. Once I gained my motivation, I also became more aggressive in paying off the debt I created within six weeks.
"I unfortunately lost a lot of money that eventually got me into debt. What got me through was getting into therapy. Therapy was a game-changer for me and I was able to find my motivation again. Once I gained my motivation, I also became more aggressive in paying off the debt I created within six weeks."
Courtesy of Meisha Amia
Be honest, what’s been your biggest splurge so far and why did you purchase it?
I have always been a saver. I usually save 20 percent of my earnings a month. But I also live a lavish rich lifestyle. I'm not gonna lie, I am definitely into buying the finest of everything. So I would say my biggest splurge last year was a Chanel bag. I really want the world to normalize women of color, especially black women, having luxury and wealth. It can coexist. Us women just have to learn more about financial literacy and we would be good (laughs).
Never cheat yourself or feel you are not worthy of something nice. If your bills are paid, your savings account is good, and you have your investments, you deserve that bag, girl.
What are some unhealthy habits about money or some unhealthy mindsets about money that you had to let go of to truly prosper?
That 'spend a check and get it right back' attitude (laughs). I say that in the most humble way. Being a nurse, you can get used to having that mindset. But we forget about the physical part of putting in those extra hours and what it does to our bodies. I have taught myself that once I see my account at a certain amount, I am in panic mode. I still have a good amount in there, but it helps me be more intentional about my spending. It's important to be very strategic about how you save, how you invest, and how you splurge.
"I have taught myself that once I see my account at a certain amount, I am in panic mode. I still have a good amount in there, but it helps me be more intentional about my spending. It's important to be very strategic about how you save, how you invest, and how you splurge."
Courtesy of Meisha Amia
What is the money mantra you swear by?
"I don't work hard for money, money works hard for me." For me, that is when I use my earnings and invest it into my other businesses. I am always thinking about if I put an X amount of dollars here, then Y amount should be my return. This is how we should all be thinking when it comes to money.
What is the most important lesson you’ve learned through being a business owner and running multiple businesses?
The most important lesson I've learned is having multiple streams of income does not mean you need to have multiple businesses. You should not exhaust yourself being a CEO of multiple things. That is where the burnout will come from. If you are passionate about different things, focus on that. But make sure you are thinking about how to create most of your revenue under one roof.
What’s the best advice that you’ve received about finance during your first year of entrepreneurship?
One thing about being an entrepreneur is that I do not do this alone. I have my mentor and I have invested in multiple coaches to help me reach my goals. The best advice I have received is to set those prices and be firm with them. When you are starting a business, people usually start with low prices. We have this mentality and fear that people are not going to show support if we come off too "expensive". But what I have learned is that we are actually cheating ourselves when we set the bar low. Because when you want to change your price and increase it, the people that were supporting you before are no longer interested. You have already told them your worth.
To be better respected, set those prices at a quality rate and the right people will pay you exactly what you are worth.
To learn more about Meisha Amia, you can follow her on Instagram and check out her business here.
Featured image by Meisha Amia
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Well, the next time we met up, she told me she had met someone and was moving to Houston to live with him. Imagine my surprise and concern. Later, I’d find out that this decision, like so many other elements of their relationship, flowed naturally and organically. Their whole partnership has been full of peace and vulnerability.
Fast forward to today’s conversation, they’re still living together, celebrating four years of marriage, and planning to create a family. And while this stage of their story sounds generally normal, the way they got there is nothing but. Check out the "How We Met" feature below to see how a couple who never spoke on the phone and lived in different states ended up in a loving marriage full of ease, art, and authenticity.
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
Walk me through your ‘How We Met’ story.
Amanda: We met on Instagram (laughs). He followed me first, and I followed back because he does art, and I was intrigued by that. Honestly, we followed each other for a while before we connected. But I remember one day I saw a post where he had on a Martin t-shirt that I liked, and that sparked our conversation. He ended up telling me he made the shirt and actually mailed me one. So when I got it, I made a post wearing it, and that’s where the conversation started. Since that day we’ve communicated every day since.
Will: Yeah, I initially saw her on a short-hair Instagram page and followed her because I thought she was attractive. I actually showed her to my co-workers on one of our monthly outings as an example of my “type” – something I had never done. But one thing I will say is, I noticed she had on a Nina Simone shirt in one of her photos, that’s what got me. It showed she had more depth.
I guess that answers my next question. Did you have an initial attraction to each other?
Will: (Laughs) Yeah, I did.
Amanda: For me, no. I just wasn’t looking at him through that lens. I didn’t follow him because he was attractive. I don’t follow people online because of that. I actually remember a time when we were going back and forth, and I was like, “Aye, you kinda cute.” It was a specific moment. Once I started looking through his page more often, I started to view him that way, but it still was more of an acknowledgment. We really connected primarily because of our creative interests.
So, how did it go to the next level?
Amanda: I was in Nashville, and he was in Houston. But I’m somebody where if I feel like doing something, I’m going to do it. I had been meaning to go to Houston for a while to see a friend, so I felt like it was the perfect combination of a circumstance. We had been talking a lot, and I knew I liked him as a person and really wanted to meet him, but of course, I was aware of the idea that it could blossom into more. I remember I sent him a text saying, “Would you think I was crazy if I pulled up to Houston?”
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
What was your reply? Did you think she was crazy?
Will: In my mind, I was like, I don’t know. (Laughs) I wanted her to, though, so I wasn’t going to say yeah. It was a little wild, but I encouraged it.
Okay, so tell me about the date.
Amanda: I don’t know if you’d call it our first “date,” but the first time we met, we went to a skating rink. I was a little nervous about meeting him in person. Like, what if we don’t have chemistry – that was in the back of my head a little. But I brought my friend with me as a buffer, and thank God I did because he was so quiet the whole night. I literally can’t think of one thing he said the entire time. But the saving grace was that we had built a rapport. We reconnected the following night and were together until 5 a.m. – just sitting there talking. We ended up spending the whole weekend together.
Will: I’m socially awkward if I don’t know you. Also, before the date, I didn’t know what she sounded like or anything because, that’s another thing, we hadn’t talked on the phone. (They both really don’t like phone calls, so everything was through texts at this point.) I guess I could say I was kinda nervous, too. I had never met someone through social media, and then here I was, meeting her in person at a skating rink. I hadn’t skated in years, I was hoping I didn’t fall. But we had just been talking so much that I was open to it.
What made you want to take that risk?
Will: She has a level of authenticity that I’ve never seen in any other woman before, and once I saw her, it solidified that. I knew I wanted her around.
Amanda: I don’t think it was anything specific. It’s not hard for me to connect with people. But there were no red flags. We align across the board. That was different. We really connect on how we see the world.
"She has a level of authenticity that I’ve never seen in any other woman before, and once I saw her, it solidified that. I knew I wanted her around."
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
Out of curiosity, what are your love languages?
Amanda: I connect with all of them. I think it just depends on what I’ve been lacking. I appreciate words of affirmation because I’m so big on actions that I like those bold statements of love, and of course, I appreciate quality time. The older I get, the more I appreciate physical touch, but that’s not something I need. With receiving gifts, I like thoughtfulness, and I like giving thoughtful gifts, too. But acts of service is for sure my biggest one. I love when someone considers me and makes my life easier. That speaks to me most.
"I love when someone considers me and makes my life easier. That speaks to me most."
Will: I think it all depends on how I’m feeling, too. But probably also acts of service. I like how Amanda will buy me deodorant when I run out (laughs). She just does so much all the time to show that I’m thought of.
At what point in your connection did y’all have the “what are we” conversation?
Will: I don’t think we ever had that convo. We never defined anything, we just kinda went with how it was going. However, I knew I wanted it to be more serious when I went to visit her. She had been coming to Houston once a month, and I went to Florida (she was there for work) to see her. I realized I felt comfortable coming into her space, too. That gave me that last little bit of whatever I needed.
Amanda: Yeah, I can’t say I had a defined moment like that. But again, as we had more and more interactions, there were just no red flags. The more we thought about it, the more we realized no matter where we went relationship-wise, we were adamant about being a part of each other’s lives. We never had the “talking to other people” conversation or anything. But we did both understand we weren’t going anywhere. Eventually, it graduated to convos around building a life together, but even that was over six months in. I just liked him as a person.
Have there been any negative revelations that your partnership and marriage have taught you about yourself?
Amanda: I’ve always felt that partnership is supposed to make the other person’s life easier. For me, it was a struggle to let someone help me in all the ways I didn’t really know I needed help. As I started having less capacity, I had to realize that it doesn't work anymore. It was hard for me to acknowledge and ask for help. I think that’s something I am still coming to terms with, even with other relationships in my life.
Will: I think I’m learning and still learning how to get out of my head. I’m the kind of person who always has to visualize stuff before it happens. And this relationship is the first thing that I don’t do that with. Of course, we plan stuff, but I know it’s gonna be good regardless. It allows me to stay in the moment. If I can do that with this, which is the most important thing to me, why can’t I do that with other things?
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
What challenges have you faced together?
Will: For me, the preconceived challenge was living together. I’ve never lived with a woman before. Even in my previous relationship, it was long-distance. I’m also the type of person that likes my space, but as soon as she got here, that was out the window. It was so smooth it made me feel stupid for questioning it.
Amanda: I’m grateful to say we don’t necessarily have challenges between each other together. But we have been struggling with infertility and health issues. Our biggest challenge thus far is trying to get pregnant. Even articulating that makes me realize I’m grateful it hasn’t caused a rift between us. I think we have been able to face it in a healthy way. But that’s an example of how having someone else there can be helpful. I was so functional as a full-blown individual doing everything by myself.
So, in my head, I don’t need anyone, but having someone there who is happy to support me has taught me it’s okay to welcome that. It’s made us stronger because it’s taught us how we both function under duress – it’s good to know it’s not terrible (laughs).
"Our biggest challenge thus far is trying to get pregnant. Even articulating that makes me realize I’m grateful it hasn’t caused a rift between us. I think we have been able to face it in a healthy way."
What are some of the shared values that are important to your relationship?
Will: How we see life, what we’re here for, and how you’re supposed to treat people. It sounds really simple, but it’s not as common as you think.
Amanda: We value being really good people – without strings. We both don’t value money, but we value stability. So we don’t have to endure the “why are you not hustling” arguments. We were both stable people individually, and we came together. Also, we both value meaningful connections, alone time, reflection, and family. That guides us in what we do and how we build a life.
Finally, what is your favorite thing about each other?
Amanda: I’ll say one of my favorite things about him is that he’s brilliant. I view myself as a smart person, but in my head, he can do what I’m doing ten times faster. There are times I want to push myself to do stuff, and I’ll just ask him because I know he can do it. It’s incredible.
Will: My favorite thing about her is how people see her. Being a witness to how important she is to other people’s lives is amazing. Standing to the side and seeing how she affects them is really special.
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Feature image courtesy of Amanda Hicks and Will Ford
Should We Be Dating for Practice?
As a dating coach for women of color for the past 13 years, I tell my clients all the time that dating is an opportunity for practice. Dating for practice is often characterized by meeting new people, broadening your horizons, and enjoying the process of getting to know others without the immediate intention of tying the knot.
This less pressurized environment is a prime opportunity to learn about yourself, your preferences, and your values in a relationship. By interacting with diverse individuals, you discover what traits, interests, and personalities resonate with you!
Dating for practice and without immediate commitment allows you to take your time and make informed choices. There's no pressure to rush into a serious commitment, and it's acceptable to date multiple people concurrently to find the BEST person for YOU. Dating, like parenting, brings up all of your ‘ish’ to the surface, which gives you the opportunity to heal it (without serious repercussions).
Any unresolved inner child wounds, lack of boundaries, and fear of vulnerability can be examined and changed by using dating experiences to explore the parts of ourselves that we don’t normally acknowledge.
Charles Olu-Alabi/Getty Images
The Argument for Dating for Marriage
“I’m dating with intention (marriage)” is something you’ve probably heard often if you’ve been in the dating scene for a while. While it sounds great, there are some potential pitfalls that you may want to avoid. The aim of dating for marriage is clear: to establish a committed relationship that may lead to marriage. Conversations about the future, family, and life goals are often on the table from the start, which brings a level of clarity to the courtship.
By being goal-oriented, most people dating for marriage will stick to dating longer. This is important because dating is a marathon, not a sprint. The longer you are dating, the more successful you will be. The downside of being goal-oriented is that some will be so focused on getting married that they will overlook some serious red flags because they want to be married so badly and end up in horrible relationships.
Dating for marriage requires a level of selectivity to know what you want, which is great. The downside is that what you want is maybe not what you need.
As someone who helps women get into amazing relationships every week, most of the time (90-95%), their partner doesn’t look like what they imagined, but they feel the way they always imagined. Individuals hyper-focused on marriage may be eliminating people who would be good partners for them because they don’t align with their pre-existing vision of marriage.
Zia Soleil/Getty Images
How Do We Balance Dating for Practice With Dating for Marriage?
It is important to remember that these two dating approaches aren’t mutually exclusive, and people often shift between them as their life circumstances and personal preferences evolve. My recommendation is to combine both and date with strategy!
Dating with strategy looks like:
- Dating online and offline to give yourself the best chance of finding love
- Date without expectations – 97% of people you talk to won’t make it past date three
- Having a phone date before going on a physical date
- Getting clear on your needs (based on what you didn’t get from your parents), not just wants (based on what looks good)
- Widening your net and evaluating potential mates based on your new clarified needs
- Practice your vulnerability (sharing feelings) and boundaries (expressing desires) often
Dating for practice and dating for marriage are two distinct approaches to romantic relationships, each with its unique merits and intentions. The key is to have a dating strategy with your personal goals and values, ensuring that you are on a path that feels right for you at any given stage of your life.
Ultimately, dating is about personal growth and building meaningful connections, regardless of the specific goals you set.
Coach Anwar is a certified dating and relationship coach who has 13 years of experience helping Black and brown women date with strategy, meet relationship-ready men, and get into the best relationship of their lives.
To learn more, you can follow Coach Anwar on IG. Wanna work with Coach Anwar? Click here to book a dating consultation.
Featured image by Lorado/Getty Images
