LeToya Luckett Wants New Role To Serve As A Reminder That Women Should Go After What They Deserve
In her latest transformative role, LeToya Luckett sheds her glamorous persona to embody a character who survives a harrowing near-death experience, only to rise from the ashes and reclaim everything she lost in Lifetime’s I Thought My Husband’s Wife Was Dead.
The suspenseful movie, based on the novel Unmissing by bestselling author Minka Kent, also stars Sherilyn Allen, former pro football player Jamall Johnson, and Angela “Blac Chyna” White. The story centers around Lola Winters, played by Allen, who is an expectant mother and wife of Leo Winters, played by Johnson, with a penchant for donning all-white ensembles.
Together, the affluent couple live a lavish lifestyle and maintain a ritzy restaurant. However, their lives are disrupted when Tori reemerges at her husband’s doorstep after being missing for five years and declared dead.
Luckett admitted that the role triggered some deep-seated emotions but was also liberating, which drew her to the role.
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“I felt like she was different from any character I've ever played. I'm used to being suited and booted and glammed and all the things [but] Tori was the complete opposite of that, you know what I mean? Her story was so layered - going through such a traumatic experience, coming out, finding her way back, and going after what she asked, ultimately, what was hers,” Luckett explains.
I felt like she was different from any character I've ever played. I'm used to being suited and booted and glammed and all the things [but] Tori was the complete opposite of that, you know what I mean? Her story was so layered - going through such a traumatic experience, coming out, finding her way back, and going after what she asked, ultimately, what was hers.
“She was fighting for her life. I think that there are so many people out there that are, you know, going through traumatic situations or feel like they're fighting the good fight alone. I wanted to play this character or help in telling the story to let them know, ‘Nope, you're not alone. You're not by yourself. There are other people suffering, other people going through it, other people climbing the ladder, feeling like they're going nowhere.’ But then, somehow, there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel.”
Luckett’s empathy for her character, Victoria, also propelled her to do a deep dive into her complex background and mysterious return in preparation for filming. The two-time Grammy award winner also took time out to speak to women who were domestic abuse survivors in shelters and were undergoing treatment for their traumatic experiences while also tapping into her experiences.
“I found myself tapping into some things that I thought I had healed from, and it wasn't until they yelled, cut, [that] I was still crying. I was like, ‘Wait a minute, hold on,’” she says.
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“If I use that as motivation, and I'm still feeling it as though it happened yesterday, and it probably happened years ago, I my might need to call my therapist, we might need to talk about some things, or just kind of revisit some things, but I really just allowed myself to be open and free and not judge her character and not put the emotions that I was feeling for her and to honestly just step into her experience as best I could.”
Her performance reflects the time she spent understanding the nuances of her character, especially Victoria’s motivation to actively pursue all that she lost during her five years away. When asked if women should feel entitled to go after what they deserve, Luckett answers a resounding ‘yes.’
“Why not? Men do it every day. Why not? It's almost a thing that women have, this nurturing spirit, and they want to take care of everyone before they take care of themselves. I think that we do a disservice to ourselves by doing that,” she says.
“We can't keep trying to pour and give and be okay with operating out of an empty glass. You know what I mean? And taking second best, like, I'm glad that we are finally waking up, and I feel like the rest of the world is waking up from that to just being a common thing that women have to sacrifice themselves and everybody be okay with that or not get what the man next to us, who probably isn't as capable of the job, him getting more. No, go ahead and go get what’s yours, and when you get the ‘no’ the first go around, try again, and turn that thing into a ‘yes,’" she emphatically states.
Why not? Men do it every day. Why not? It's almost a thing that women have, this nurturing spirit, and they want to take care of everyone before they take care of themselves. I think that we do a disservice to ourselves by doing that. We can't keep trying to pour and give and be okay with operating out of an empty glass. You know what I mean? And taking second best, like, I'm glad that we are finally waking up, and I feel like the rest of the world is waking up from that to just being a common thing that women have to sacrifice themselves and everybody be okay with that or not get what the man next to us, who probably isn't as capable of the job, him getting more.
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As the newlywed previously said, she had to protect her mental health during filming by being in contact with her therapist. She admits that she began seeing a therapist around the age of 19/20 to deal with her claustrophobia and soon realized she needed to unearth some childhood trauma, “Baby, I haven’t been able to let her go since,” Luckett says.
“I feel the biggest part of self-care also is listening to oneself. If your body is saying ‘sit down, [then] sit down.” If your body is saying, ‘hey, the stress is getting to be too much,’ then we have to use our wisdom and awareness to believe what our body is telling us. I'm starting to finally listen to myself and trust my instincts and trust what my body is saying.”
Luckett's self-awareness also aids her in motherhood as she cares for her two young children. She reveals that she cherished quiet moments before having children and takes the time to give herself a break. The 43-year-old actress also listed going to the spa and disconnecting from her phone as another vital self-care go-to that she incorporated into her day-to-day life.
“I have made it a point at least twice a month to go into my favorite spa, shutting my phone off. I mean logging off completely and being okay with it. We let our phones control us, and especially with social media we have this fear of missing out on what's going on in the world, and we don't know how to detach from that,” she says. “I feel like a form of my self-care recently has been, for real, detach, let go. Let those people out there on social media live their lives and I want to be present in mine.”
Luckett admits she isn’t slowing down soon as she has more projects on the horizon, like her fashion capsule In The Trunk (a statement she made on the Terrell Show) that now has t-shirts and hoodies for sale. “When I said it, so many people came up to me and we're like, ‘Yo, that line changed my life. Like for real. It really helped me to kind of get out of my own way.’ So we made a shirt, and it is available on my website.
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"We have two colors right now, which would be the cream, and black. I can't wait for hoodie season because I'll rock it at the airport right now. When I tell you I can't go nowhere and somebody not say, ‘Oh my god, I love your shirt. Oh my god, I love your hoodie because of what it says and the cute little graphic that I came up with.”
She intends to expand her line by Christmas. In addition, fans can also anticipate the return of her YouTube channel “Leave It to LeToya” within the coming months.
“Of course, we're promoting the film right now. So August 3rd is a big day. But I love connecting with my people via my YouTube page and also my Instagram, so I will definitely be coming back with a show, but it'll be based around my life, being a single mom and raising the two littles and asking the hard questions and my healing process, my journey, having more conversation with my therapist, all the things that people loved. We're going to be getting the ball moving on that again,” she assures.
Be sure to tune into the anticipated thriller I Thought My Husband’s Wife Was Dead, which debuts Saturday, Aug. 3, at 8 p.m. ET on Lifetime.
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Feature image by Marcus Owens
'Love Island USA' Star JaNa Craig On The Reality Of Black Women On Dating Shows
Love Island USA just wrapped up its sixth season, and it has been the talk of the town. According to Nielsen, it's the No. 1 show on streaming, proving it's just as entertaining as the UK version. One of the reasons this season has been successful is due to the authentic relationships formed between the islanders in the villa.
You have the sisterhood between Serena Page, JaNa Craig, and Leah Kateb, aka PPG, and the real relationship moments between couples like Serena Page and Kordell Beckham, who were named the winners of this season. The other finalists include Leah Kateb and Miguel Harichi, Nicole Jacky and Kendall Washington, and JaNa Craig and Kenny Rodriguez.
While JaNa made it to the finale with her boo Kenny, her journey in the villa was far from perfect. Viewers saw the Las Vegas native get her heart stomped on a few times after many of her connections didn't work out.
At one point, it even looked like she was getting kicked off the island. While she had a lot of support from people watching the show, it was clear that she was in a position that many Black women on reality dating shows find themselves in: not being desired.
It has been an ongoing conversation among Black women watching reality dating shows as we see time and time again that non-Black women or racially ambiguous-looking women are often chosen over Black women, especially dark-skinned women. In a discussion with Shadow and Act, JaNa opened up about the support she received from viewers.
@cineaxries i love them 🤧 #janacraig #janaandkenny #loveislandusa #foryou #peacock #loveisland #janaloveisland #xybca #kennyloveisland #janaedit #loveislandedit #janaedits #loveislandusaedit #viral #loveislandusaseason6 #foryoupage #peacocktv
"You know what’s so crazy? I’m so grateful, because when I got my phone, the way they’re making us The Princess and The Frog…I felt honored. I will be that beautiful chocolate queen if I need to be. And the comments like 'beautiful chocolate girl,' I’m like, all Black women are beautiful. There’s the whole light skin versus dark skin, which breaks my heart. I just really don’t understand that, but I will take pride and represent us well," she said.
She also candidly discussed her experience as a dark-skinned Black woman on the show. JaNa and Serena had been in the villa since the first episode, and they were the only dark-skinned Black women there. As new men aka bombshells came into the villa, they found themselves not being wanted by many of them.
"Me and Serena literally had a heart-to-heart before Kenny came in and she’s like, I just don’t think it’s fair that the Black girls don’t get enough fair chance.' Every islander that came in, we were not their top pick. And we just [thought], maybe because we’re Black girls, and the dark-skinned Black girls. It sucked," she said.
"I’m like, 'Serena, we know what we bring to the table. We’re great personalities. A guy’s going to come in for us.' That’s when we manifested what we wanted, and that’s when I manifested Kenny."
@ashleyvera__ We love to see it 🥰 #loveislandusa #loveisland #loveisland2024 #janaandkenny #loveislandseason6 #peacock #realitytv #fypage
After many failed connections, Kenny came in and immediately turned JaNa's experience around. America watched the model get the care and attention that she deserved.
"I’m not going to hold you. When I was in the bottom for a quick second, I’m like, ‘There’s no way America doesn’t [ride for us]. I know Black America had to ride for me, but maybe because I’m a dark-skinned … hmm … maybe … you feel me? And you saw the Casa Amor lineup. Beautiful, beautiful light-skinned [women]," she said.
"We looked at each other like, 'Damn, Love Island did their big one with this. And every single Casa Amor girl was like, 'You girls are gorgeous, you guys are stunning.' They expressed love. You guys are beautiful and it felt good."
Although she and Kenny came in third place, JaNa is happy that she got her man in the end. "I think the thing I’m most grateful about is the fact that this is a beautiful love story like you guys complement each other and there’s no hate toward the skin color. It’s all love and support. I love that more than anything," she said.
"That’s why I was like, 'I won,' even though I didn’t win. And the fact that Serena won, we were like, 'Yeah, run that.' Either way, we won. And I love the support from all communities."
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You're In A Relationship. You Wanna Pause Sex. What Now?
With the way our culture is going, Grandma (it’s probably more like great-grandma at this point) would be proud.According to semi-recent findings, not only are folks out herehaving fewer sex partners, but abstinence seems to be on the rise as well — and whether you choose to believe it or not, it’s actuallymore young men who are choosing to chill out on the bedroom activities more than young women are (interesting).
The reason why I’m leading with this when it comes to this particular topic is that if you’re someone who has been sexually active for a while, you’re contemplating going into a season of abstinence or celibacy, and a part of your hesitation is you think that you’ll be one of the very few who’s done it, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s becoming more common than ever for individuals to at least go 6-12 months without sex…for a variety of reasons.
Okay, but what if you’re thinking about doing it, and you’re in a relationship with someone who you’re currently sexually active with? Not only that, but your partner is absolutely not on the same page with you when it comes to making this type of move. If that’s your challenge of the day and you’re not sure what you should do about it all, I’ve actually got a few tips, ones that, hopefully, will at least give you some of the clarity that you may be seeking in this particular season of (temporary) transition in your life.
What Is Your Reason?
GiphyPopular life coach Michael Hyatt once said, “When you know your why, you’ll know your way,” and when you’ve made the decision to go without sex, no matter how long that season may be, no greater words could be spoken. So, if abstinence is what you’re considering, definitely ask yourself what is your reason for that. Is it Scriptural or religious? Is it because you feel like you are confusing good sex with a solid relational dynamic?
Is it because you think that you and your partner are in an endless pattern of “making up to break-up” (check out “Make-Up Sex Might Be Doing Your Relationship More Harm Than Good”)? Perhaps you’re on some form of birth control, and you want to give your body a break from the hormones. Maybe you recently had a pregnancy scare that has caused you to do a bit of life reevaluating, and you don’t want to risk another chance of having a positive sign on a test until you get clear on how you want the next couple of years of your life to look.
I know when I decided to enter into my LOOONG season of not-getting-any, it was because I decided to see if I was in a pattern of counterproductivity — not just when it came to sex but with the people I chose to have sex with.
For me, I entered into my abstinence phase without being in a relationship (I did it after breaking up with the last boyfriend that I will ever have in this lifetime — check out “Why I'll Never Call Someone A 'Boyfriend' Again”), so my shift was virtually drama-free (well, minus all of the detoxing that I went through; that first six months or so without sex is a MUTHA). However, I have had times when I’ve wanted to go several months without sex, after having sex with someone, and it did not make for a smooth sailing between the two of us.
Anyway, when it comes to figuring out what you should do about your own situation, being very clear about your reasons can make it so much easier to do the next thing: come up with a plan.
What Is Your Plan?
GiphyFor the sake of time and space, I can’t address every dilemma for this, so let’s go with one of ‘em. Say that the (main) reason why you want to be abstinent is because you know you have a pattern of mistaking good sex for actual intimacy (check out “What If The Sex Is Great? But The Relationship Sucks.”). The guy you’ve been seeing, the relationship is under six months old, yet you could see a real future with him. Thing is, you’ve been having sex with each other for about three months now, and you just recently decided to go exclusive.
You know, with everything in you, that a big part of the reason why he was cool with not seeing anyone else is because sex is consistent (and good) between the two of you, so you’re not (completely) sure how he’s going to handle your new decision.
Well, what’s your plan? What I mean by that is, well, a few things:
- How long do you plan on being abstinent?
- What kind of abstinent do you want to be (no oral, no foreplay, no making out, etc.)?
- When you remove something, it’s wise to replace it with something else; how do you want to fill that void in the meantime?
- Where do you see the relationship going as a result of making this kind of shift?
- While you’re thinking about what’s best for you, what do you think is best for your relationship as well?
You know the saying goes “Fail to plan, plan to fail,” and when it comes to being abstinent when you’re in a relationship, I’ve dealt with this myself (and via clients) enough to know that when men are approached with this, what they tend to be the most interested in is 1) abstinent for what; 2) abstinent for how long, and 3) why abstinence would ultimately be beneficial for the relationship overall.
Listen, in a lot of relationships, sex is a significant part of it. That’s why you don’t want to go into something this paramount with a “winging it” mindset. The clearer you are about how this can be helpful for you both, at least on some level, the more open “he” will be willing to hear you out and take it into some serious consideration.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyLight at the end of the tunnel. I’ll tell you what, when you’re in a season of abstinence, and you know that there is some end in sight (because very few folks want to be abstinent forever), it can make going without so much easier to bear. That said when it comes to abstinence while in a relationship, there’s a big difference between telling someone who you’re in a new relationship with that you want to “press pause” for an indefinite period of time vs. telling someone who you recently got engaged to that you want to wait until your wedding day. The first one? Who knows where things are headed? The second? There is a date that is attached to the decision; indeed, there is “relief” on the horizon.
So yeah, that’s something else that needs to be considered because I’ll be real with you — based on how serious the relationship is, your decision to be abstinent may be a “me” decision or a “we” decision. Meaning, a guy who you’re just starting to see and dig, if there are no real lasting guarantees on the table, you really need to focus most on what’s best for you and kind of let the chips fall where they may. On the other hand, for someone who you are in it to win it with long-term (mutually so, not just in your own estimation), you would be silly to think that abstinence wouldn’t have the potential to significantly impact your relationship’s future. Why?
Because if sex was a part of your “house’s” foundation, if you pull some of the foundations out, it can cause the house to “shake” a bit — especially if some trying times present themselves during that same season. So yep, you factoring in the “weight” of the relationship is also what needs to be taken into some serious account. (Tip: You probably need to get him to weigh in on this as well. It’s not uncommon for one person to think a relationship is one type while someone else estimates it to be something totally different.)
Please Remember This at All Times: You Have Free Will. So Does He.
GiphySomething that I will forever say until the cows (and all of the other animals on Noah’s Ark) come home is people really need to stop dating like they are married — if you want to be married, get married. At the end of the day, dating is all about seeing if you’re a good fit for someone and if they are a good fit for you. Unlike marriage, no vows were taken before the Lord, your family, and friends. There is no paperwork involved. There is not the all-in intention of being with someone, no matter what, until death parts you. So, you know what that means? If one or both people come to a fork in the road where there isn’t room for compromise, no one is the bad guy for deciding to end things — yes, even when it comes to something like one individual wanting to remain sexually active while the other doesn’t.
I mean, how would you feel if the guy you were seeing decided that he didn’t want to spend money on dates or special occasions anymore because he needed to focus on getting out of debt? I’m not talking about for a couple of weeks either — I mean, several months or even a couple of years. If you can hang, he needs to keep you because you’re a real one. You know what, though? If you can’t, that doesn’t make you a gold digger or siren. If dates and gifts are what you feel like you need, again, especially if the relationship is relatively new, you need to do what’s best for you….just like he needs to do what’s best for him. It would be totally unfair on his part to expect you to be as invested in his self-development as he is.
IT'S NO DIFFERENT WITH YOUR DECISION TO BE ABSTINENT.
You are doing what’s best for you and he is not the devil incarnate if what is best for you is not what’s best for him. Husbands and wives have to make life-altering sacrifices; boyfriends and girlfriends (or the “untitled”)? They don’t. As unpopular (and perhaps even difficult) as it may be to hear, just like the Bible, Quran, Torah, and taxes don’t give a category for boyfriends and girlfriends (you’re single, married, divorced, or widowed), you should live your life in a similar fashion.
What I mean by that is, you’re single until you’re not. This means that you need to prioritize yourself above all else until someone vows to provide for and protect you (as you vow to help and nurture him). If you need to be abstinent, you don’t owe someone your body. If your partner doesn’t want to follow suit, he doesn’t owe you the sacrifice of going without either.
And so, if you can’t find any compromise, break up. Maybe you’ll cross paths in the future, maybe you won’t. What this season will reveal to you, rest assured, is what is best for you, who complements your life in the now, and how you should move as far as interactions with others go. Yet again, he’s not a villain for not wanting something that is different from what he initially agreed to. Don’t gaslight yourself or him into thinking otherwise. It’s not fair.
Always Do What’s Best for You
GiphyListen, as someone who knows long-term abstinence very up close and personally, very few things in life will teach you more about yourself than going without sex for a season will. It will teach you self-control. It will teach you how to figure out the difference between loving someone and “loving it.” It will teach you how to not settle just because someone makes you feel good. It will teach you how to exert self-discipline in other areas of your life. It will teach you how to not be afraid of losing someone if that means gaining more of yourself.
And honestly, that’s the biggest takeaway that you should get from all of this because, while there is a chance that your relationship is solid enough that your partner can roll with your decision if he chooses not to, choosing you above him and your connection, that is already making abstinence a bomb decision. Because when you do what’s best for you, you tend to choose who is ultimately best for you — whether it’s immediately or eventually — too.
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Bottom line, if you know that putting sex on pause is best for you, for now, PLEASE don’t let a relationship keep you from doing that. It might feel good to ignore your innermost needs now…yet I can almost guarantee that you will regret it later.
And it’s NEVER worth it, while you’re single, to ignore or push aside you…for “him”.
Trust me on that, sis.
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Featured image by Tom Werner/Getty Images