YouTubers Latoya & Adam Ali Give Us The Real Behind Relationship Goals
In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
You might know LaToya and Adam Ali from YouTube where the couple share their life and love alongside their two adorable children, Samia and Zayn.
And if you watched any of their videos on their hit family channel LaToya's Life, it won't take long for you to label these two "relationship goals." With their obvious love for one another, coupled with their strong friendship, LaToya and Adam give us a look into a modern day life of black family and all its realness. But regardless of how much they personify "relationship goals" and all we may seek in our own love lives, the Ali's want us all to know, they are just like any other couple.
LaToya, best known as LaToya Forever, is a YouTube personality, author, and founder of health and wellness site ShesTough.com. Her husband, Adam best known as @AdamWontLose, is a YouTube personality, fitness professional, and brand marketer. Within the last 8 years, these two have gotten married, expanded their YouTube brands LaToya's Life and LaToya Forever, started a family, and have been involved with multiple business ventures together.
But before their success as a couple, it all started down in the DMs.
Back in 2011, Adam reached out to Latoya in hopes of collaborating on a fitness video. At the time, he was expanding his own fitness brand and reached out to LaToya, hoping to build a team of influencers that support one another. She obliged and before the collab could even officially take place, they met up and had an instant connection. Although their initial meeting was completely professional and they then went on to shoot the first of many video collaborations, the connection between these two was quite obvious. Soon after, they began dating, fell in love, got married, and started their family.
But what makes their love story so admirable, is their authenticity. These two aren't trying to be some perfect fairytale love story, nor do they wish for you to idolize their relationship, they are simply showing their own life and love with all the chaos and realness that comes with it. "Don't look at us as perfection, yes we may do some things that you can aspire to want in your relationship but just focus on your relationship and how you can improve individually and together with your partner," Adam expressed.
While other social media couples may aim for perfection, likes, or subscribers, these two focus on the authenticity of their life, love, and their family.
It may have all started unintentionally with a DM, but their relationship has since grew into a loving marriage, a family of four, and a YouTube brand of positive black love. And by the looks of it, the Alis are just getting started.
Here's their story.
The One
LaToya: I knew that Adam was the one for me because he never let me walk all over him like my ex boyfriends. He's super manly, super business oriented, and he puts me in my place and I needed that at that time in my life because I was like crazy, wild, super energetic, kinda lost and he knew how to get me to become a better version of myself.
Now, we play so many roles together, we do business together, we're parents, we're lovers, we're best friends.
Adam: I felt like we complemented one another and we were both looking to build and that's what was important to me, someone that I could build with so that's what showed me she was the one.
Building Together
LaToya: Before marriage, we had already been living together so we knew each other's habits and what irritated each of us. Now, if you want to talk about how was life after purchasing our first home, that's a whole other ball game! We had to be smarter with our money, especially with a newborn. We had to figure out how to keep this place in order, especially because we worked from home. We hired a cook because we had no time to prepare all these meals because we had to film. Adam took it upon himself to manage our finances because if I were to do so, I would be serving Louis Vuitton bags for dinner.
Love Work
LaToya: One thing that makes our relationship work, would be love. Putting love first makes it work! I'm at my best when he shows me he loves me, shows me he appreciate me, shows me that I'm worthy. I'm an emotional person so love, love is the answer (laughs).
Adam: Communication! I think we're at our best when we communicate with each other.
Learning Each Other's Love Language
LaToya: It takes a lot to be mindful to showcase a love language that you're not too accustomed to do. Again, it requires intent, eqo dropping, and emotional investment to make love work. It's been a process of reading and learning.
We both come from different cultures, which means we [have] seen love displayed in different ways.
The Real Behind Relationship Goals
LaToya: Don't compare your relationship to other peoples' relationship that you see on social media because that's not even half of their story. There is so much people go through off of the pictures, off of the videos. So, just put your best selves out there every single day and do your best.
Nobody's perfect and we show that in our videos.
That's why a lot of the times if I do something crazy in our videos, it's expected because I put myself out there in a real way. Just keeping it real, you know! (laughs)
Adam: Whenever you look at a screen, it's so natural to typically look for perfection. Whether it's TV, or a movie, anything that's a tube, your expectations typically are that it should be perfect and that's not reality, this is not the movies and they can't come look at our content expecting that everything is lovely and dandy, that's just not how real relationships go. And then you guys want to be surprised when you look at these other couples you adore, all of a sudden are no longer together or they divorce or stuff like that, you know they can't fake it forever. I would say don't look at us as perfection, yes we may do some things that you can aspire to want in your relationship but just focus on your relationship and how you can improve individually and together with your partner.
For more on their journey be sure to subscribe to their YouTube channels LaToya Forever and LaToya's Life as well as follow them at @LaToyaForever and @AdamWontLose.
Ashley McDonough is a writer and producer in New York City. When she's not busy writing or producing culturally conscious content, she is patiently waiting for Oprah and Stedman to adopt her. Keep up with her journey via social @Ashley_Milani or check out her work on www.AshleyMcDonough.org.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images