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YouTubers Latoya & Adam Ali Give Us The Real Behind Relationship Goals

Marriage

In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.

You might know LaToya and Adam Ali from YouTube where the couple share their life and love alongside their two adorable children, Samia and Zayn.


And if you watched any of their videos on their hit family channel LaToya's Life, it won't take long for you to label these two "relationship goals." With their obvious love for one another, coupled with their strong friendship, LaToya and Adam give us a look into a modern day life of black family and all its realness. But regardless of how much they personify "relationship goals" and all we may seek in our own love lives, the Ali's want us all to know, they are just like any other couple.

LaToya, best known as LaToya Forever, is a YouTube personality, author, and founder of health and wellness site ShesTough.com. Her husband, Adam best known as @AdamWontLose, is a YouTube personality, fitness professional, and brand marketer. Within the last 8 years, these two have gotten married, expanded their YouTube brands LaToya's Life and LaToya Forever, started a family, and have been involved with multiple business ventures together.

But before their success as a couple, it all started down in the DMs.

Back in 2011, Adam reached out to Latoya in hopes of collaborating on a fitness video. At the time, he was expanding his own fitness brand and reached out to LaToya, hoping to build a team of influencers that support one another. She obliged and before the collab could even officially take place, they met up and had an instant connection. Although their initial meeting was completely professional and they then went on to shoot the first of many video collaborations, the connection between these two was quite obvious. Soon after, they began dating, fell in love, got married, and started their family.

But what makes their love story so admirable, is their authenticity. These two aren't trying to be some perfect fairytale love story, nor do they wish for you to idolize their relationship, they are simply showing their own life and love with all the chaos and realness that comes with it. "Don't look at us as perfection, yes we may do some things that you can aspire to want in your relationship but just focus on your relationship and how you can improve individually and together with your partner," Adam expressed.

While other social media couples may aim for perfection, likes, or subscribers, these two focus on the authenticity of their life, love, and their family.

It may have all started unintentionally with a DM, but their relationship has since grew into a loving marriage, a family of four, and a YouTube brand of positive black love. And by the looks of it, the Alis are just getting started.

Here's their story.

The One

LaToya: I knew that Adam was the one for me because he never let me walk all over him like my ex boyfriends. He's super manly, super business oriented, and he puts me in my place and I needed that at that time in my life because I was like crazy, wild, super energetic, kinda lost and he knew how to get me to become a better version of myself.

Now, we play so many roles together, we do business together, we're parents, we're lovers, we're best friends.

Adam: I felt like we complemented one another and we were both looking to build and that's what was important to me, someone that I could build with so that's what showed me she was the one.

Building Together

LaToya: Before marriage, we had already been living together so we knew each other's habits and what irritated each of us. Now, if you want to talk about how was life after purchasing our first home, that's a whole other ball game! We had to be smarter with our money, especially with a newborn. We had to figure out how to keep this place in order, especially because we worked from home. We hired a cook because we had no time to prepare all these meals because we had to film. Adam took it upon himself to manage our finances because if I were to do so, I would be serving Louis Vuitton bags for dinner.

Love Work

LaToya: One thing that makes our relationship work, would be love. Putting love first makes it work! I'm at my best when he shows me he loves me, shows me he appreciate me, shows me that I'm worthy. I'm an emotional person so love, love is the answer (laughs).

Adam: Communication! I think we're at our best when we communicate with each other.

Learning Each Other's Love Language

LaToya: It takes a lot to be mindful to showcase a love language that you're not too accustomed to do. Again, it requires intent, eqo dropping, and emotional investment to make love work. It's been a process of reading and learning.

We both come from different cultures, which means we [have] seen love displayed in different ways.

The Real Behind Relationship Goals

LaToya: Don't compare your relationship to other peoples' relationship that you see on social media because that's not even half of their story. There is so much people go through off of the pictures, off of the videos. So, just put your best selves out there every single day and do your best.

Nobody's perfect and we show that in our videos.

That's why a lot of the times if I do something crazy in our videos, it's expected because I put myself out there in a real way. Just keeping it real, you know! (laughs)

Adam: Whenever you look at a screen, it's so natural to typically look for perfection. Whether it's TV, or a movie, anything that's a tube, your expectations typically are that it should be perfect and that's not reality, this is not the movies and they can't come look at our content expecting that everything is lovely and dandy, that's just not how real relationships go. And then you guys want to be surprised when you look at these other couples you adore, all of a sudden are no longer together or they divorce or stuff like that, you know they can't fake it forever. I would say don't look at us as perfection, yes we may do some things that you can aspire to want in your relationship but just focus on your relationship and how you can improve individually and together with your partner.

For more on their journey be sure to subscribe to their YouTube channels LaToya Forever and LaToya's Life as well as follow them at @LaToyaForever and @AdamWontLose.

ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
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Featured image by Shutterstock

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