At one point or another, some of us have had to sit with the question, is monogamy really for me? Stay with me for a sec, I said some of us, not all of us.
Maybe you've been in a relationship where all the ingredients for love that lasts are there, but it still feels like it's missing something. Maybe you've watched couples around you try to go the traditional route despite the very visible cracks that etch its surface. Or maybe, in a day and age where situationships and no-label relationships are king and conversations around ethical non-monogamy are becoming more mainstream, maybe you're asking yourself, Do I want this because it's what I believe, or because it’s what I’ve been taught to want?
In 2025, dating looks different. The illusion of options is stronger than ever, making commitment feel both abundant and fleeting. Social media gives us a front-row seat to endless types of relationship dynamics, from high-profile polyamorous unions to couples who swear by traditional monogamy. And as we all navigate what love means in this modern world, Kofi Siriboe is doing the same, both in his personal life and in his latest role in Harlem.
In the final season of the Prime Video series, Kofi plays Seth, a charismatic MLB player who is upfront about practicing ethical non-monogamy while dating Quinn (Grace Byers). And while fans have long admired Kofi as a walking embodiment of melanated magnificence, anyone hoping to lock him down might want to manage their juuuust expectations. Turns out, his character’s approach to relationships isn’t too far off from his own evolving perspective on love.
In a recent interview with Level Mag, the Harlem and Queen Sugar star got real about his evolving views on relationships, monogamy, and what he truly wants when it comes to love. And let’s just say...art is might be imitating life. He shared:
"My first two real relationships lasted three, four, five years each. And then to fast-forward, my life changed. I started working every day. Then there’s the fame element, and the abundance of people and exposure. I’ve just had different shifts and different seasons where sometimes monogamy feels like role-play, and it sometimes feels restrictive. So there's an element of it that feels performative."
Kofi's take isn't an unpopular one for folks who've decided to opt out of relationships under the guise of traditional views. What's traditional and acceptable for most doesn't necessarily mean it's right for all, and though Kofi admits he questions the societal script, he doesn't downplay the value of committed partnerships. He continued:
"I understand the tradition of it. But then there's a part of me that just had questions. So I went through some phases where I’m like, well, why? Why do we do it like this? And is this how I want to do it?"
Expounding on his perspective about monogamy feeling like "role-play," he touched on observing couples and how they embodied their roles, including his parents, and noticing "blind spots." Still, that doesn't mean he is anti-monogamy, the 30-year-old actor added:
"Does that mean we have to throw away the whole system? Not necessarily. Like I honor the tradition and I love the simplicity of monogamy, and how can we still remain whole and still remain true to ourselves as individuals, as independent people and thinkers living this life while still honoring the safety and the principle and the tradition of you know loyalty or connection."
Kofi made it clear. His approach to love these days is more about intentionality and making sure that whatever dynamic he chooses, it’s one based on authenticity rather than obligation.
"Whatever you do, just do it wholeheartedly, and that’s what I respect about Seth (his character). He was ten toes about what he needed and what he wanted."
And isn’t that the real goal? Whether it’s monogamy, non-monogamy, or something in between, the key is choosing what feels right for you, not what tradition, expectations, or the illusion of endless options tell you to want.
Whether he’s redefining commitment, questioning traditions, or just blessing us with his reflective musings on life uttered from a jawline so sharp it could cut glass, Kofi is proving once again that a man who thinks deeply and looks that good is an undefeated combination.
Featured image by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
