Jidenna Explains Why He's Single & Prefers For It To Stay That Way
When I was younger, I associated singleness with loneliness and as I approach my late twenties, I realize that I was dead ass wrong. Although relationships are seen as a trophy or reward to be posted and paraded, I've grown to learn that I'm looking for much more than a man that will buy me Chic-Fil-A and blow my back out from time to time.
As I consistently glow TF up and walk further into my purpose, I know that being single isn't a punishment, it's a time for preparation. R&B "Classic Man," Jidenna agrees with me and says that although he's known to walk alone, he's alone for a reason.
As much as I hate when men ask me why I'm single, I'm currently wondering the same thing about this R&B Classic Man, but on a recent episode of the Yes, Girl! podcast, Jidenna spilled all the tea about why he's choosing to live the single life for now. He explained:
"During the 'Classic Man' era, I was closed. I did not trust. I already had my own trust issues just coming off previous relationships [and] my parents' relationship, because it was not healthy. So, I was like, 'nah, I'm not going to date.' You start just re-dating exes. Then there's an expiration date at a certain point. So with this campaign, I want to be open. That was me talking to myself and putting it out there."
Last month, the 34-year-old "Bambi" singer got real about his views on monogamy and said that his experience with polyamory was one of the "worst pains" he's ever felt in his life. After a tumultuous breakup and a series of short-lived affairs, Jidenna has decided to press pause on his romantic life for a very relatable reason.
I've grown to believe that falling in love and wanting commitment is all about timing, and Jidenna echoed this sentiment in the interview:
"I like connection, but the time's not there. I don't want to say I don't have it, but I'm not going to make the time right now. Not in the middle of '85 To Africa'. Maybe in between albums. The tough part is artists have to be in stock more than ever now and you have to push out content."
Any hardworking creative in the digital age can relate to the time management struggle, and Jidenna says the impersonal nature of online dating only makes matters worse:
"All those things make it really hard for anybody to date. And you're so swipeable now that you might like, 'eh, I just didn't like the little bump behind her earlobe.'…it's ridiculous now."
While Jidenna let's time do the matchmaking when it comes to meeting his one-day wife (it's me, I'm over here), he's making sure that his time spent waiting is well-utilized:
"The thing that I'm always trying to rewire is the bits of misogyny and sexism that still exist in me every day constantly. If it's not in me and I see it in another man, I'll have to educate [him] and clear it out at a certain point.
As a true ally to the movement, Jidenna is taking the time to check himself and the people around him for misogynistic defects that may have been previously overlooked:
"I've fired so many men over the years. I work with a lot of women on the team, and I don't want an environment where women don't feel comfortable. That kills everything I stand for."
To listen to the full interview, click here!
Featured image by @Jidenna.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & More www.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images