

When I was younger, I associated singleness with loneliness and as I approach my late twenties, I realize that I was dead ass wrong. Although relationships are seen as a trophy or reward to be posted and paraded, I've grown to learn that I'm looking for much more than a man who will buy me Chick-fil-A and blow my back out from time to time.
As I consistently glow TF up and walk further into my purpose, I know that being single isn't a punishment, it's a time for preparation. R&B "Classic Man," Jidenna agrees with me and says that although he's known to walk alone, he's alone for a reason.
As much as I hate when men ask me why I'm single, I'm currently wondering the same thing about this R&B Classic Man, but on a recent episode of the Yes, Girl! podcast, Jidenna spilled all the tea about why he's choosing to live the single life for now. He explained:
"During the 'Classic Man' era, I was closed. I did not trust. I already had my own trust issues just coming off previous relationships [and] my parents' relationship, because it was not healthy. So, I was like, 'nah, I'm not going to date.' You start just re-dating exes. Then there's an expiration date at a certain point. So with this campaign, I want to be open. That was me talking to myself and putting it out there."
Last month, the 34-year-old "Bambi" singer got real about his views on monogamy and said that his experience with polyamory was one of the "worst pains" he's ever felt in his life. After a tumultuous breakup and a series of short-lived affairs, Jidenna has decided to press pause on his romantic life for a very relatable reason.
I've grown to believe that falling in love and wanting commitment is all about timing, and Jidenna echoed this sentiment in the interview:
"I like connection, but the time's not there. I don't want to say I don't have it, but I'm not going to make the time right now. Not in the middle of '85 To Africa'. Maybe in between albums. The tough part is artists have to be in stock more than ever now and you have to push out content."
Any hardworking creative in the digital age can relate to the time management struggle, and Jidenna says the impersonal nature of online dating only makes matters worse:
"All those things make it really hard for anybody to date. And you're so swipeable now that you might like, 'eh, I just didn't like the little bump behind her earlobe.'…it's ridiculous now."
While Jidenna let's time do the matchmaking when it comes to meeting his one-day wife (it's me, I'm over here), he's making sure that his time spent waiting is well-utilized:
"The thing that I'm always trying to rewire is the bits of misogyny and sexism that still exist in me every day constantly. If it's not in me and I see it in another man, I'll have to educate [him] and clear it out at a certain point.
As a true ally to the movement, Jidenna is taking the time to check himself and the people around him for misogynistic defects that may have been previously overlooked:
"I've fired so many men over the years. I work with a lot of women on the team, and I don't want an environment where women don't feel comfortable. That kills everything I stand for."
To listen to the full interview, click here!
Featured image by @Jidenna.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022