Three months after my first child, Brendan, was born, I weighed less than my pre-labor weight. I was like Woohoo!
What Kelly Ripa said is true, breastfeeding is the key!
Breastfeeding makes all of your baby weight go away!
The baby literally sucks all of the fat out of you!
It just makes sense. Mother nature you are the best!
While my body definitely wasn't shaped the same as it was pre-pregnancy, at least I had lost weight to the point that my friend Gloria was a little concerned because my face kept slimming down and my collar bones became more and more defined. I was satisfied with my weight loss and figured I would moisturize the hell out of my stretch marks, do some crunches and maybe just maybe, one day I would be able to wear a bikini again. So every morning I lathered my belly, but somewhere between working, taking care of an infant, getting dinner on the table and managing other family and social relationships, those crunches just never happened.
By the time I was ready to come out of my baby hibernation, rejoin the world, and start working out again…surprise, surprise…I became pregnant with my second love biscuit, Grayson. Almost everything with Grayson was easier. I was still seeing the therapist I had to start seeing after I gave birth to Brendan, so I knew what to expect. And this time around, my body healed much faster.
But there was just one problem – my stomach.
Every morning I'd stand in front of the mirror in my underwear, and sometimes I would make it a point to identify a positive aspect about my appearance. Although this was a routine I'd been doing since high school, when I was around 4 months postpartum, I started to realize that I wasn't slimming down like I had done after my first child. I now had an outie belly button, a pooch that made me look about 3 months pregnant, and a chandelier of excess skin hanging from that outie belly button. I thought,“maybe I just need more time to recover."
During this time, I remember every magazine cover at the grocery store being about celebrity moms' rapid weight loss after having children, and I started to feel like there was something wrong with me. That I was doing something wrong. I should be eating healthier. I should be working out.
Two more months passed and there was no change in my body. And I began to realize that I had lost all the baby weight I was going to lose. I found myself sucking in my stomach and smoothing out my skin in the mirror every morning. My husband and I would try to figure out how I could fit in a run or a workout, but between being a teacher (which means I also have homework), my daily commute, and really wanting to spend quality time with my children, we just couldn't figure out how to fit it in. I tried some workout videos OnDemand and did crunches sporadically, but ultimately I just became super frustrated with the constant cycle of feeling bad about my body, wanting to change it, and yet having no time or energy to do so. Trips to the grocery store only added fuel to my frustration.
I wanted to see a celebrity mom with a pooch, stretch marks, saggy boobs, anything! But all I got were smooth bellies, pushed up boobs, spanx, photoshop, and myths about how I too could look perfect like that.
My frustration soon evolved into anger. I was pissed that I allowed the media to make me feel bad about myself. I was furious that society had gotten to a place where women's bodies aren't honored for bringing life into this world, but are instead expected to “snapback" to their pre-baby figures.
What kind of backwards shit is that?
Are we rubber bands?!
As a black woman who grew up constantly having to refute Eurocentric ideals of beauty, I am aware that the lens which I view beauty through is counter to dominant American culture. Dominant American culture views my nephew as a potentially dangerous thug, and my afro as wild unkempt mane.
I view both as magnificently beautiful, and I needed to view my post-baby body in the same way. I needed an outlet, a sanctuary, somewhere I could receive affirmation that other mothers look just like me. Because while this whole time I was fixated on a physical change, what I truly needed was a change in my way of thinking.
Naturally, I started where everyone starts when you want to explore what is out there. I Googled “post-baby body," but a majority of the results were just multiple workout blogs. There was one blog that had pictures of natural, post-baby bodies, but the pictures were just of women's bodies without their heads. I found another blog that took pictures of women's post-baby bodies across the country, but they were predominately white women and the pictures were in black and white.
What I needed was a site and community for mothers of color who were on the same journey of owning their bodies and their beauty again. I wanted beautiful media that counteracted every sexist magazine cover with a celebrity “rubber band" mom on it. So you know what I did? I created that community.
With the support of my family and my best friends, last August I launched MyPostBabyBody.org!
The goal of MyPostBabyBody.org, is to help women feel good about their bodies especially after having children. The site features vibrant photos of women of color showing off their post-baby bodies and sharing stories about their new self-love journey. There is also a blog portion where I bring attention to body positive stories and other women/body issues.
As I have put myself in this body-positive blogger position, it has pushed me to lead by example, and really work to adapt a body-positive attitude for myself. I still suck in my belly occasionally in the mirror, but I make it a point to appreciate my body, and remind myself that hating my insecurities only plays into the sexist, capitalist and other systems of oppression designed to keep us from focusing our energy on tearing down those very systems.
I still have a ways to go, but I know one thing…
I have been every size between 0 and 10, and I am more accepting of my body now than I have ever been before. Watch my story below:
RELATED
And why is it so rough during the spring season? The main reason is because the spring and fall seasons are when pollen likes to run amuck. And although there are medications that you can take to help to ease your allergy symptoms, there are also natural remedies that are proven to provide you with some much-needed relief as well.
Below, I have 12. Ones that are easy on your system, don’t have side effects, and can help you to enjoy spending time outdoors without all of the…allergy-related drama.
1. Consume Local Honey
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I can’t say enough how I think it’s amazing that we live in a country that will push all kinds of medications down our throats (billions of side effects and all) and yet when it comes to natural remedies, “experts” will go out of their way to disprove those. Take consuming local honey, for instance. Although I am fortunate to not have to deal with allergies (food, seasonal, etc.) at all, many people in my world do and, in spite of folks who say that using local honey in order to treat them minimizes their symptoms (because there is local pollen in local honey), some health folks think that is just a myth.
However, there are some studies that say there is some truth to this approach, especially since honey contains enzymes that help to boost your immunity and as well as reduce inflammation. My two cents: take a teaspoon of local honey every morning and see how you feel. If it works, awesome. If it doesn’t — well, with all of the other benefits that come from honey (its antioxidants, how it improves gut health, how it aids in sleep, etc.), you’re still doing your body a world of good by consuming it.
2. Use an Essential Oil Blend
I’m telling you — no matter what is going on in your life (that is health or beauty-related), there is going to be an essential oil, somewhere, that can improve it. When it comes to allergies, specifically, you should look into using a blend of sandalwood, frankincense, and Ravensara oils. Sandalwood is good for you because it helps to reduce inflammation, it has antimicrobial benefits and antioxidants and it helps to relax your system.
Frankincense has anti-inflammatory, expectorant, and antiseptic properties; it contains compounds that can bring relief to asthma-related symptoms, boost immunity, and reduce stress; frankincense makes it easier to sleep at night. And although you may not be familiar with Ravensara, it’s one that you want to get familiar with because it also strengthens your immune system and it helps to keep your lungs clear. You can put this blend into a diffuser or you can mix it with a carrier oil and rub it onto your chest before turning in for the evening.
3. Make Some Stinging Nettle Tea
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If you’ve never heard of stinging nettle before, it’s a plant that is used for a variety of health-related issues. Aside from the fact that it’s packed with vitamins A, C, magnesium, iron, calcium, amino acids, potassium, beta-carotene, and flavonoids (plant pigments that have antioxidants in them), stinging nettle also has anti-inflammatory and anti-infectious properties that help to lower your blood pressure, regulate your blood sugar and it can even help to treat prostate issues in men.
The reason why you should consider taking it as a supplement or drinking some stinging nettle tea during allergy season is it helps to reduce inflammation, and block histamine (the chemical in your immune system that causes your body to have allergy-related symptoms like sneezing, itching, and having a runny nose) receptors and reduce symptoms that are directly associated with hay fever.
4. Put a Cold Washcloth on Your Eyes
If one of the things that irks you to no end about allergy season is how itchy your eyes can get, it’s always a good idea to keep a cold washcloth close by. Not only will it help to soothe your irritated eyes as it reduces mild inflammation and puffiness, but this type of cool compress can also help to wipe away the pollen, dander, and whatever other allergens that are causing your eyes stress in the first place.
5. Eat Foods That Contain Quercetin
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There are certain foods that can help to get you through the allergy season. For instance, foods that are high in quercetin are good for you. And just what is quercetin? It’s a plant pigment that contains properties that help to lower your blood pressure, improve the quality of your workouts, and even slow down signs of aging. As far as allergies go, quercetin can help you out because it also has anti-inflammatory properties; plus, it helps to block the production of histamine. Foods that are high in quercetin include apples, kale, broccoli, red onions, and green tea.
6. Decrease Your Dairy Consumption
Something that allergies are prone to do is produce mucus. That’s because mucus is your body’s way of trying to keep allergens from going too deep into your system. And even though mucus is needed (whether we realize it or like it or not), dealing with thick mucus can oftentimes make you feel pretty miserable. That said, if you’ve heard somewhere before that consuming dairy will only produce more mucus and make it thicker too — here’s the deal. What science states is dairy doesn’t so much cause mucus to transpire so much as trigger additional production of mucus — meaning, most research says that there isn’t a direct correlation between dairy and mucus.
HOWEVER, since research also reveals that milk contains properties that are linked to diabetes and heart disease, a lot of it is full of hormones and pesticides and milk can increase inflammation in your system and inflammation is what happens when you have allergy symptoms (although yogurt is a dairy-based food that decreases inflammation) — sounds to me like it can actually work in your favor to decrease your dairy consumption during allergy season and go with some dairy alternatives (like coconut milk, almond milk, hemp milk, oat milk or cashew milk, etc.) instead.
7. Try Some Butterbur
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If you’re looking for some all-natural allergy relief, you definitely should give (the plant) butterbur a try. As I was doing some research on it, I noticed that it has a pretty solid reputation when it comes to treating migraines, hay fever, and asthma as well as bringing relief to symptoms like sneezing, itchy eyes, and nasal congestion. Although many people are fans of it, if you choose to take it in supplement form, make sure to run it by your doctor first.
For one thing, it could affect how other medications are processed in your system. Also, too much of it has the potential to stress your liver out. Oh, and if you are allergic to ragweed, it won’t help you much because it is actually a part of the ragweed plant family (sorry).
8. Enjoy Outdoors Before Noon
If you’re someone who enjoys the great outdoors yet wants to keep allergens from getting on your last nerve, it’s best to spend time outside between the hours of 4 a.m. and noon. Apparently, that is the time of the day when pollen is at its lowest. And when does it like to show out the most? That would be between 2 p.m. and 9 p.m., to be exact. So, if you like to meditate or exercise outdoors, doing it before lunchtime is going to be your best bet…as far as your allergies are concerned.
9. Change Your Clothes As Soon As You Get Home
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Some of us are old enough to remember having grandparents who hated the mere thought of us wearing “outside clothes” for too long after coming inside their house. Well, if you’re someone who deals with allergies, you should actually keep that tradition going because your clothes probably have pollen all over them. And, if you wearing those same articles while sitting on the couch or resting on your bed, you’ve just tracked all of that into your house…and your body will react similarly to how it did while you were outdoors.
10. Take Your Showers at Night
Just like it’s a good idea to change your clothes during allergy season, you should consider taking a shower before turning in at night as well. Not only does that significantly decrease your chances of ending up with allergens in your bedding, but showers before bedtime also help to reduce stress, lower your blood pressure, and clear up any nasal congestion that you might have. For tips on how to have a fabulous nighttime shower during the spring season, check out “How To Turn Your Showers Into A Tranquil DIY Spa.”
11. Close Your Windows. Turn on an Air Purifier.
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There is nothing like fresh air, I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Still, if you’ve got allergy issues, opening up your windows is going to bring some of what’s outdoors indoors. That’s why it’s best that you keep your windows closed as much as possible and that you turn on an air purifier. Air purifiers are bomb because they help to decrease allergens, contaminants, and dust particles and they can even reduce the spreading of certain viruses that may be in the air.
Just keep in mind that although air purifiers are effective, they can’t totally remove any of these things nor are they the best at getting rid of mold, nicotine, or animal dander. Just something to keep in mind.
12. Have Sex
I mean, you can check out articles like “10 Irrefutable Reasons To Have An Orgasm A Day” to see why it can never hurt to get some (safe) nookie in as much as possible; however, when it comes to your allergies, specifically, science says that engaging in sexual activity can help to strengthen your immune system.
Case in point: one study revealed that participants who had sex no less than three times a week ended up having more of the antibody immunoglobulin A in their saliva which helps to fight off viruses, bacteria, and health-related issues like bronchitis, asthma, sinusitis, eye and ear infections too. Hmph. As if you needed convincing to have more orgasms, right? I’m sayin’.
BONUS: See a Reputable Allergist
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And finally, definitely one of the reasons why allergy season is irritating for so many is because they aren’t able to find the proper relief — and that is because they are playing “Google expert” instead of actually making an appointment with an allergist. Why should you do that? Because they are professionally trained to test you in a way that will help you to get to the root of what you actually are allergic to.
So, if you do indeed have allergy symptoms yet you’ve never been officially diagnosed with what is causing them, it’s worth the investment to see a specialist in the field. The sooner you know what the issue is, the sooner you can find some much-needed relief. Zocdoc is one site that can help you find an allergist who is in your area and network. Go here for more info.
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