We are all blessed with gifts that are innate and undeniable. However, sometimes, life's twists and turns can make us feel robbed of our talent and opportunity.
Consequently, we are seemingly forced to forfeit our dreams to the many misfortunes we encounter along our journey. For professional ballerina Paige Fraser, despite being met with obstacle after obstacle, she stands firmly in the face of opposition. She was built for this.
The young dancer has an extensive resume that includes her work with Beyonce, BET, Intel, and a number of other industry giants but did not rise to fame without overcoming her own personal challenges. Paige first discovered her inclination toward dance at just four years old, and had decided to become a professional dancer by the age of 10. After becoming the first African-American girl at her studio to play the lead role in The Nutcracker, her career path was set, and it was clear that Paige would be a force to be reckoned with.
At the time, the vivacious preteen had no idea that less than five years later, she would receive a diagnosis that would change her life forever. She told xoNecole, "I was diagnosed with Scoliosis when I was 13. I had just started attending the Professional Performing Arts High School where I would receive free dance training at the prestigious Alvin Ailey School in Manhattan. As you can imagine, this was a very tough thing to deal with as a freshman in high school."
Scoliosis is a disorder that causes an abnormal curvature of the backbone or spine that occurs most often during or right before puberty. Upon diagnosis, the condition put her lifelong dream of a dance career on hold, and doctors recommended surgery. This was understandably devastating to the aspiring dancer who recalled, "I remember hearing the words surgery come out of the doctor's mouth. I cried like a baby as he described that surgery would consist of putting metal rods in my back, affecting my range of motion. I knew I wanted to be a professional dancer and having spinal mobility was imperative."
"I cried like a baby… I knew I wanted to be a professional dancer and having spinal mobility was imperative."
Luckily, Paige's parents were a strong support system who were empathetic of her love for dance, and understood that invasive surgery would stifle her opportunity to practice her craft forever. With their support and against her doctor's wishes, their family sought alternative solutions. "We found a Chiropractor in NYC (Dr. Alex Eingorn) who adjusted my spine twice a week. He also suggested I wear a back brace; one that I would wear to school and one that I wore to bed. I was only able to take my brace off when I was training in dance. Those were the best hours of my life."
With persistence, dedication, and the support of a teacher who had also been diagnosed with scoliosis, Paige became a master of her craft. The Bronx-born dancer says that since her diagnosis, her physical imperfections have only fueled her desire to conquer the challenges that had once tried to conquer her. "My drive fuels me even when the days are hard and dark. Each day is another chance to strive to be better than yesterday. Do the work and stay in your lane and remain in faith that it will always work out as it should."
Despite her queen-like stature, persistent hustle, and fearless demeanor, Paige, like most of us, had to learn to find resolve in rejection. The 27-year-old creative professional said that it was only after learning how to manage constructive criticism and defining her purpose that she was able to ditch the idea of giving up to reach her fullest potential.
"As artists, we deal with a lot of rejection," she explained. "Over the years, I have developed a tough skin. Being a professional dancer is very humbling. There are going to be moments when you don't get the job you want or a specific role in a piece. What keeps me going is remembering why I started and thinking back to the beautiful moments make it all worth it. I also grew to understand that timing is everything."
"What keeps me going is remembering why I started."
When you realize your purpose, you have the power to be unstoppable. The 10-year-old girl who once played Clara in The Nutcracker, was later diagnosed with a life-changing physical disorder. Now, that same little girl has has graced some of the biggest stages the world has ever seen. "By fully trusting in my path, I can avoid stressing over what is next or comparing myself to others. Days when I want to quit, I quickly remind myself that I have persevered my whole life, and I'm built for this."
Despite the bumps and bruises that she's acquired along her path to success, Paige was prepared for the ride before she even got in the car. She said that even if you don't quite know where your destination is, if you continue to walk in purpose, you'll end up exactly where you should be.
"Life is going to throw you a lot of curveballs, but it is how you respond to them. As I said earlier, being a dancer is not easy but if you love it, you will find ways to navigate through. For those dealing with a Scoliosis diagnosis, reach out to others who are in the same boat. There is a huge Scoliosis community and now, with social media, it is easy to connect. No one should suffer alone. Remind yourself everyday you are beautiful, strong, and unique. Having Scoliosis is not the end of the world and everyone has something they are dealing with."
"Having Scoliosis is not the end of the world and everyone has something they are dealing with."
We can all learn a lesson or two from Paige, who used her obstacles to create a platform. Now an advocate for Scoliosis, as well as a major player in the dance industry, Paige seeks to use her story to inspire other women. "I hope that my story inspires people to never give up. I am a black girl from the Bronx who has dealt with many challenges, but I chose to persevere through it all. I refuse to let anything hold me back. I am guided by my purpose and I want to give back to the next generation. I want people to look at my story and be inspired to go after their dreams. Nothing about me is perfect. I am unique."
"I refuse to let anything hold me back. I am guided by my purpose."
This year, Paige plans to raise awareness for Scoliosis on an even larger scale with the launch of her foundation. The Paige Fraser Foundation is dedicated to giving inner city students with or without physical challenges a safe space to study art.
Paige is a reminder to be diligent with the gifts that we are given. Many times, the fruits of our productivity aren't meant for self-nourishment, but to feed others. It is your responsibility to use your gifts, despite your personal challenges and obstacles. She proves that if you continue to walk in your purpose despite life's curveballs, you can ultimately win the game.
For more Paige, follow her on Instagram.
*Featured image of Paige by Melika Dez for The Black Iris Project
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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