When it comes to the perfect date, sometimes the least obvious way is the absolute way to conquering a woman's heart!
There is nothing like a romantic date planned by the one you love. Wouldn't you love a warm bath filled with bubbles waiting for you after a long day at work? How about a candlelight dinner for two after a long day of running errands? Or maybe you can appreciate a really nice piece of jewelry that expresses his feelings for you? These are the things that pull at our heartstrings whenever they're done, and surprisingly, some men actually get it!
We were inspired to speak with some of our xoNecole readers about romantic dates planned by their favorite guy that was the most thoughtful, romantic, or even sappiest dates ever; dates that embodied the perfect date in their hearts and mind, only proving that the right man is out there waiting to be the king to your queen.
Check them out below:
Baby Let Me Be Your Vacation
“I had a stressful year. I didn't mean to take it out on my boyfriend, but I did. At this point in our relationship, I thought he might leave me - or worse - cheat on me. I wouldn't blame him for doing both. I'd lost my job as a banker, and my blog was losing sales. I was the breadwinner, and he was a high school teacher. I paid and provided everything. Even bought his sister a bar.
The week prior to Valentine's day he asked me, 'This Valentine's Day, you won't throw a vase at me, right?'
I laughed and replied, 'No.'
I promised not to do that again. He chuckled and said, 'Good, because when we go to Hawaii, I'll ensure there aren't any vases,' he winked.
Initially, I hadn't realized he meant he purchased tickets for Hawaii on Valentine's Day. My eyes widened with glee and I jumped on him. Unfortunately, we broke up a year later due to my work obsession. All in all, this was the best Valentine's Day date EVER!"
- Scarlett K.,@DodedahJones
On Bended Knee
On Bended Knee“My boyfriend told me to reserve Friday night for our date night. He said we were going to a play near our favorite date spot, the Washington Monument. The summer before, we went out for hibachi, then we walked around the monuments and talked for hours. It was one of those nights that you want to relive.
So Friday comes and we finally got to the monument.
I'm looking around and don't see anywhere that a performance would take place. I start asking questions like, 'Are we late? Where exactly is this play that you speak of?'
Walking up, I had the strangest feeling overcome me like something was about to happen. As I look up, I see his friend come around the corner with a camera and my family and friends appear out of nowhere. He asked to spend the rest of our lives together and if I would be his wife. Of course I replied, 'Yes!' It was a night filled with laughter and cheers."
- Vecoya G., IG: @vecoya
School Daze
“When you are in college, you are typically strapped for funds unless you have employment. I was fortunate to not have to work in college, but I was broke. When I would come home to Delaware from college in Florida, my boyfriend and I wanted to spend every moment with each other. Money didn't really matter much, as long as we were together.
One evening, we really wanted to have a date, but didn't want to break the bank. So, we created a romantic candlelit dinner for two right in my mom's house in a spare room. He took a suitcase and covered it with a tablecloth, lit beautiful long-stem candles, played some old school tunes (our favorite), and cooked dinner.
It's the small things, the thought and effort to make me feel special. That's why my boyfriend from senior year of high school is now my husband."
- Sara C.- IG: @anaraoriginal
Special Affair
Special Affair“I work long hours as a hairstylist. One random evening after work, I came home to a dim home with rose petals meeting me from the garage door all throughout the kitchen. My living room had a small card, table set with a tablecloth, roses and candles, for dinner by our fireplace. Music was playing. I was greeted by two small hostesses (my children) that sat me at the table with a printed dinner menu. My husband cooked and served dinner.
We talked over wine and dessert, and we danced cheek-to-cheek. Following dinner, I went upstairs to a nice bubble bath with more rose petals. He washed me from head to toe. I relaxed and fell asleep to a body massage with Eucalyptus Spearmint lotion. It was the most romantic surprise date and random act of love from my husband. It was perfect."
- Ebony S.- IG: @Ebonynstroder
Jason's Lyric
“My husband once surprised me with a romantic interlude. He told me we were going for a hike. Being competitive athletes, we were always going for a run, a bike ride, or swimming, kayaking, etc... Ugh! Another workout, I thought. But then I saw him remove a blanket and some snacks from the back of the van and stuff them into his backpack.
We hiked into a field with tall shrubbery off the beaten path and he spread the blanket out with the hopes of an impromptu picnic. And then he intended to make love to me right out in the middle of nature. The tall shrubbery and the time of year created a situation with yellow jackets and bugs. We ate fast and never got past a few kisses before the bees were just too much.
Still, I thought it was impossibly romantic that he wanted to make love to me in a beautiful setting of nature."
- Stacey G., @staceygreene47
I Was Martin And You Was My Gina
Friend Nominated Story by Soraya J.:
“I am a friend to one of the cutest couples on the planet. They even call me the Pam to their Martin and Gina
When we met, Mecca and Monte (soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Henson) were very fresh, and in a short time, quickly became the best things in each other's lives. Anyway, Mecca, who can plan an event with her eyes closed, got the script flipped on her recently when Monte asked a few of her friends and employees to help him plan a surprise at-home dinner.
He even got the celebrity chef Mecca usually books to do a favor and cook a dinner for two. Monte filled their place with flowers, candles and decorations, and got matching sweatshirts for them to wear during dinner. He even created a Snapchat filter to be used at home so they could snap everything."
Watch the video of Monte's surprise for Mecca below.
Was there a time when your BAE did it right and surprised you with a thoughtful, romantic, or even sappy date? We all want to read about it in the comments below!
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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