Friends to lovers, is there a trope in media that hits quite as satisfying? Well, there is also the bad boy gone good for the love of a woman trope that also piques my interest in romance and fiction. However, in this article, we’re leaning more towards my lover girl side who feels both seen and heard when watching the slow burn of a love story play out between two souls destined to be a thing.
When done right, it’s more Lois and Clark from the later seasons of Smallville, or who could ever forget the life, rhymes, and chemistry that sparked between Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs in Brown Sugar? When done wrong, that’s a whole ‘nother story.
And it’s why we are here today. Join me in recounting 5 friends-to-lovers storylines that didn’t quite work (for me) in some of our most coveted TV shows. As a brief disclaimer, I understand that art depicting life is just that, art depicting life. In life, you have relationships and sometimes they will not work out. This list is for fun and in no particular order. Now, let’s get into it!
Friends-to-Lovers Fails in TV
1. Laura Winslow and Steve Urkel, Family Matters
Maybe I was blinded by what I felt was chemistry between Laura Winslow (Kellie Shanygne Williams) and Stefan Urquelle (Jaleel White), but I think when I first watched this, I saw it for this eventual couple. However, rewatching it years later and seeing all the ways Steve Urkel (also Jaleel White) pined after Laura to the point of stalking and desperation for most of the series’ nine-season run, and the way Laura didn’t return his affection in a significant way until the last season of Family Matters, the characters finally getting together ended up feeling anticlimactic.
Although it was framed as growth for both characters, their eventual romance ultimately felt like Steve just wore Laura down (nearly a decade of his persistence, mind you).
As one of the main romances explored in the iconic show, when it boiled down to actual moments of budding love between the characters, they left much to be seen. A lot of that could be attributed to the length and the perpetual drawing out of the question of "will they, won't they?" As a viewer, you knew they would get together by watching nine seasons of buildup. However, as a viewer, it also got a little old, and with each passing episode, reasons they shouldn't be together stacked up more than reasons that they should be. At least, for me.
Between Steve spending most of the series obsessed with Laura and Laura’s consistent indifference, dismissiveness, and lack of attraction towards Steve without a change in physical appearance, I was left wondering why we ever saw it for these two in the 90s.
2. Hakeem Campbell and Moesha Mitchell, Moesha
Whew, I hated the Hakeem-Moesha storyline with a passion. The reason behind my why is partially selfish but I also like to think it is partially in the right. The selfish side wanted to see a healthy platonic relationship between opposite sexes on television and I felt like Moesha (Brandy) and Hakeem (Lamont Bentley, R.I.P.) represented that for much of Moesha’s series run. I even thought having an episode or two here and there that showcases one or both of them thinking about wanting more was realistic because sometimes when you’re just friends you have questions about why you have to stay just friends. So whispers of a crush popping up in these storylines didn’t bother me.
I loved that Hakeem and Moesha were best friends, had each other’s backs, and disagreed at times, but through maturity, they were able to grow. It was beautiful.
However, all of my good feelings about this pairing were completely thrown out of the window during the college arc of the last two seasons when they put the friends-to-lovers storyline in overdrive and the sweet daydreams of each other were replaced by a sour reality. Hakeem as a best friend was great, but Hakeem as Moesha’s boyfriend felt like such a departure from the character he showed himself to be throughout the four seasons prior.
Hakeem was one of those characters who got "the girl" but ultimately wasn't ready for her when he had her. What played out instead was a clear display of their sheer incompatibility.
He was insecure, he was jealous, he was borderline possessive, and then when he and Niecy (Shar Jackson) kissed, I was through. Don’t even get me started on the episodes where he tried to “win” her back after that. I legit wanted to throw the entire show away. These days, I pretend the college seasons don’t exist. I’m more at peace that way.
3. Thaddeus “T” Radcliffe & Stevie Van Lowe, The Parkers
Continuing on the Moesha train, we are making a quick stop at their spin-off, The Parkers thanks to the noteworthy inclusion of a friends-to-lovers storyline between “T” (Ken Lawson) and Stevie (Jenna von Oy). On a personal and somewhat unrelated note, I loved the trio of Kim (Countess Vaughn), T, and Stevie on The Parkers. Something I especially admired about their friend group and the friend group of Moesha, Niecy, and Hakeem was that it never felt like T and Hakeem had to present differently to fit with the women they were friends with in their respective groups. An example of this is the guys weren’t “one of the girls” in their conversations just because they were best friends with two women, they were themselves. I liked that. And again, I loved that it was strictly platonic.
That all changed in season 4 when T and Stevie had a romance arc and briefly dated. What I will give them credit for is that they didn’t draw it out for a long time (ahem, Moesha) and it also didn’t impact the plot (aside from some jokes scattered here and there). It was quick and mostly painless. Still, when the couple unraveled, I didn’t like how similar it felt to some of the issues I took with the Moesha-Hakeem storyline in the end, i.e. T’s jealousy. Speaking of which, Hakeem’s season 4 guest appearance on The Parkers as Stevie’s former flame is what ultimately ended this short-lived friends-to-lovers storyline entry.
4. Joan Clayton and William Dent, Girlfriends
'Girlfriends'
On my first watch of this Girlfriends arc, I loathed this storyline. It felt abrupt, unnatural, and dare I say, desperate. I didn’t get them and couldn’t understand why the Girlfriends writers were taking Joan Clayton (Tracee Ellis Ross) and William Dent (Reggie Hayes) in this direction. But giving the series a rewatch in my adult years forced me to look past the numerous ways I thought their romantic storyline was implausible and unrealistic when I was younger. Now, I saw it for what it was.
They were best friends, they got each other in ways that others in their lives sometimes didn’t, they saw each other (I beam at every holiday episode where Joan’s girlfriends are complaining about everything Joan has them do but William gleefully falls in line because it’s their shared joy). Aside from the very apparent lack of physical and sexual intimacy between them, I understood them as a couple more. But, I’ve come to realize I still don’t like them together.
Not only was it a plot that felt like they touched on in a different way through William and another character on the show Lynn getting together for a fling (as well as a kinda-sorta one-night stand with Joan that wasn’t completed because Joan was, and I quote, "an ooch-ouch girl"), but the way they built up the relationship as something meaningful just to throw it away because of a few comments by Toni, Maya, and Lynn (who were making some good points, but still), it just felt like, what was the reason?
Admittedly, as a change of pace, it was interesting to see that their trying to be a couple romantically did impact their friendship. I’ve always admired that Joan tends to take the high road in her breakups and seems to be on good terms with most of her exes, but it seemed like she wasn’t able to effortlessly revert to being “best friend Joan” to “best friend William” which was interesting because their split was more amicable compared to other boyfriends she had had in the series.
However, that juxtaposition was also something I took issue with because I enjoyed their chemistry as friends far more than lovers and it felt like a long road getting back to the dynamic I once loved them for.
5. Freddie and Ron, A Different World
By now, it may or may not be obvious that I am not a big fan of diminishing yourself to get the person you’re trying to be with. In my entry about Laura and Steve, that was one of the things I didn’t appreciate about Laura’s nature to soften for Steve mostly as Stefan or when he is a more subdued version of the guy he is repulsed by. A Different World didn’t seem to be relaying that message with this pairing, but I just didn’t appreciate the way it felt like Ron only saw Freddie (Cree Summer) after she brushed her signature curls into a tight bun and exchanged her boho chic for corporate chic.
Though Freddie’s change in appearance was meant to be viewed as a personal evolution several seasons into the series and post-grad, there was something about the fact that she had always been there, and for some reason, Ron never looked twice at her until that dramatic physical change. What hurt their cases even more for me was the fact that both of them were cheating on their respective partners at the time with each other. Hated it. Hated it. Hated it.
Funnily enough, Freddie’s boyfriend Shazza Zulu (Gary Dourdan) was meant to be a parallel to Ron, showing that whereas Ron was accepting the new Freddie, Shazza wanted Freddie to be the “old Freddie.” I didn’t like either approach truth be told, but the fact that they were sneaking around behind their partners’ backs solidified the fact that the storyline just wasn’t it for me and that’s okay.
It’s just another season of a show I love that I don’t need to revisit. Again, I am at peace.
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Featured image via Girlfriends/The CW
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023