There's a great debate on social media platforms, from TikTok to Instagram, among travel credit card holders: What travel credit card is actually worth the annual fee? Asking yourself this lofty question with your fancy card in hand might feel counterproductive. However, it's always good to reevaluate any financial investment early and often to ensure you're getting the most out of it.
Credit cards are already a minefield because, without financial planning, you can end up in a boatload of debt. Been there, done that, and got the wasted money on interest to show for it. After paying off $15,000 in debt, I was reluctant to use any more credit cards. But after tons of research, I saw the value of the American Express Gold Card. I got points on my everyday spending and was diligent about paying off my monthly balance. But for me, as an avid traveler, it was time for either an upgrade or a new card with lots of research, of course.
Spoiler alert: I upgraded to the American Express Platinum Card, but I wanted to break down some of the benefits of all of the most talked about cards so that you can both use every benefit you’re paying for if you already have these cards in your wallet or get to know some of the perks if you’re in the market for a travel credit card so you can invest in a card that’s best for your everyday and travel needs.
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American Express Platinum Card Benefits and Perks
Because I was already an Amex customer, I started here. The introductory offer—100,000 points after spending $6,000—for upgrading to an American Express Platinum Card was difficult to pass up. But I needed to see how the benefits stacked up if I was giving up 4X points on groceries and dining and opting for a lofty $695 annual fee. So how does the Platinum card stack up on earning points? Platinum cardholders get a point for every dollar spent, 5X the points on flights, and 5X on prepaid hotels booked through the Amex travel portal.
1. Lounges
Before gaining status with Delta, I always felt some FOMO passing the Sky Clubs. However, with the Platinum card, you can get through the velvet rope into Centurion lounges. You can also access Priority Pass lounges and Delta Sky Clubs with a same-day Delta ticket. One of the biggest gripes I've seen in online forums is how packed Priority Pass lounges can be as they serve many other luxury credit card holders, and during peak travel season, this could feel less like a perk.
2. Hotels Perks
Accommodations are the second most crucial part of planning a trip. Before booking through a third-party site or directly through the hotel, the Amex portal offers the ability to earn 5X the points when prepaying for accommodations. But there are more benefits aside from points. First, there's the complimentary Gold status with Hilton Honors and Marriott Bonvoy.
Next up, the credit card company provides The Fine Hotels + Resorts and The Hotel Collection. The Fine Hotels + Resorts benefits are as luxe as the five-star accommodations that are a part of this collection. When booking, your perks are: daily breakfast for two, free Wi-Fi, guaranteed 4 p.m. checkout, a $100 hotel credit, and noon check-in and room upgrade when available.
For The Hotel Collection, the hotels are among some of the best in the city, and cardholders receive a $100 hotel credit and a room upgrade when available. Additionally, another hotel benefit instantly helps offset the $695 credit card fee: $200 back in statement credits each year when you book a prepaid Fine Hotels + Resorts or The Hotel Collection reservation. I used this credit at the Conrad Hotel Midtown in New York City. It was so worth it.
3. Transportation Perks
We've covered lounges, so what about transportation benefits? Well, they're quite a few. Firstly, this card gives you a $200 airline fee credit per calendar year. So this covers everything from baggage fees to seat upgrades. Just be sure you go into the portal to select your airline.
Don't want to spend an overabundance of time in TSA or have to take off your shoes? The Platinum card credits back on your credit card for Clear ($189), TSA-Precheck ($85), and Global Entry ($100). In addition to taking care of the cost of breezing through TSA, if your flight is delayed six hours due to an airplane mechanical issue, the loss of your passport, or inclement weather, the card offers delay insurance reimbursing expenses like hotels and meals up to $500. After my flight from Paris to Atlanta was canceled due to mechanical issues (while I was on it), this came in handy and was very easy to use with a call to American Express customer service.
Additional transportation benefits:
- If your bag goes MIA, the card baggage insurance plan protects against damage or loss of up to $3,000 as long as you've paid the total cost of your trip with your card.
- Uber Benefit: $200 in Uber cash ($15 a month with $35 in December).
- Car Rental Loss and Damage Insurance (be sure to pay for the rental with your card and decline the collision damage waiver).
Some of the other American Express Platinum Card benefits:
- Up to $300 in annual Equinox credit.
- SAKS Benefit: Earn up to a $100 Saks Fifth Avenue credit, split into two $50 statement credits between January and June, then July through December.
- No Foreign Transaction Fees.
- Free shipping with ShopRunner (offers two-day shipping with select online retailers).
- Up to $240 in digital entertainment credit.
The Best Way to Redeem American Express Membership Rewards Points
Amex rewards points can be used on everything from gift cards to Amazon purchases and on, of course, travel. Each point is worth one cent, so let's say you book a flight through the portal for $150. You'd need 15,000 points to pay for that fare. Not worth the trade-off, right? So if this is your card (or your future card), you'll want to research before you turn over those points. Typically, you can get more bang for your points when transferring them to one of Amex's airline partners. But again, you'll want to see what airline makes the conversion worth it.
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Chase Sapphire Reserve Benefits and Perks
The Chase Sapphire Reserve card is another beloved option at the center of the luxury travel credit card debate. This one is a contender with an annual fee of $550. When it comes to earning points, you earn 5X points on flights. 10X points on hotels and car rentals when you purchase through Chase Ultimate Rewards. 3X points on travel and dining worldwide and 1X on all other purchases. So Chase's points-earning system does have some leverage on alternative cards. However, before earning 3X points on travel and dining, you must first use the $300 annual travel credit offered for flights and hotel stays.
1. Lounges
The Chase Sapphire Reserve card offers access to the Priority Pass lounges. But there's been a new development. Chase is introducing Chase Sapphire Lounge by The Club, which started last year. There isn't much info on these clubs yet, but the first Chase Sapphire Lounge by The Club—an 11,948-square-foot space—opened in Hong Kong in October 2022. So, this is certainly something to look forward to if you're a Chase member.
2. Hotel Perks
This card offers a Luxury Hotel & Resort Collection with select properties offering daily breakfast for two, a $100 benefit (unique to each property), free Wi-Fi, and a room upgrade and early check-in and late checkout when available.
Additionally, there are Elite Hotel Benefits at Relais & Châteaux and Elite Hotel Benefits at Ennismore. These properties are in specific places throughout the world. For example, Relais & Châteaux properties are mostly located in Europe. In comparison, Ennismore properties are located in major hubs like Beverly Hills, London, New York, Rome, and Paris. However, if you end up in a city with Ennismore options, the Elite Hotel Benefits offers some solid perks like a complimentary fourth night, late checkout, food and beverage credits, and room upgrades.
3. Transportation Perks
Regarding transportation benefits, the Chase Sapphire Reserve offers a $100 credit toward Global Entry/TSA PreCheck fee every four years. And financial assistance for bag delays on any mode of transportation— airline, bus, cruise ship, or train—for more than 6 hours at $100 per day (up to five days) as long as your ticket purchase is made with your credit card or points.
Additional transportation benefits:
- Trip Cancellation/Interruption Insurance: Up to $10,000 in reimbursement for cardholders and immediate family members).
- Lost Luggage Reimbursement: Up to $3,000 per passenger, including cardholder and immediate family members (even if the cardholder is not traveling on the trip).
- Trip Delay Reimbursement: If your trip is delayed by more than six hours or requires an overnight hotel stay, you are eligible for reimbursement of up to $500 per person. This benefit extends to your family as well.
- Lyft Pink All Access free membership for two years.
- 10 points per $1 spent on Lyft (through March 2025).
- Primary rental car coverage of up to $75,000 for theft and collision damage.
Other Chase Sapphire Reserve benefits:
- Free subscription to DoorDash DashPass.
- Monthly DoorDash Food Delivery Credit ($5/month).
- Instacart+ Membership ($99).
- Monthly Instacart Credit ($15/month).
- No foreign transaction fees.
The Best Way to Redeem Chase Ultimate Rewards Points
Like many credit card points systems, with Chase Ultimate Rewards, you can use your points to purchase gift cards or even make a payment on your bill. But if you want to use them on travel, the best way to make the most use of your points currency is to transfer your points to Chase partners (there are 11 airline partners and three hotel partners). Before moving points, do thorough research to ensure you're satisfied with your investment.
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Capital One Venture X Card Benefits and Perks
The Capital One Venture X card is the last card making a splash in the fancy credit card convo. But this card came to play with an annual fee of $395, which is quickly offset with the card's $300 in annual statement credits when booking through Capital One Travel. Additionally, cardholders receive 10,000 bonus miles (a $100 value) on every account anniversary. And, you get 2X miles on everyday purchases, 5X miles on flights, and 10X miles on hotels and rental cars booked via Capital One Travel.
1. Lounges
Lounge benefits are similar to other cards, with cardholders being able to access Priority Pass. But if you want more lounge access, Capital One is introducing its own lounges, with the first opening at DFW in November 2021, with more openings slated for 2023.
2. Transportation Perks
Like the other two travel cards, Venture X offers $100 statement credits for Global Entry or TSA PreCheck. In addition, the card offers trip cancellation and interruption insurance that covers you and your immediate family member—up to $2,000 per person— on prepaid, nonrefundable tickets.
Additional Capital One Venture X transportation benefits:
- Trip Delay Reimbursement: Up to $500 per person to cover expenses like hotel rooms, food, and clothes when your flight is delayed overnight or by six hours or more.
- Lost Luggage Reimbursement: Up to $3,000 per covered trip if the airline damages or loses your bags.
- Rental Car Status: Both the primary cardholder and authorized users receive complimentary Hertz President's Circle status and primary rental car insurance (up to $75,000 for damage caused by collision or theft to a rental car).
The Best Way to Redeem Capital One Miles
The best way to make the most use of your points currency for travel is to transfer your points to Capital one partners. (There are 18 partners).
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Things like what exactly? So glad that you asked.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyOkay, so if you’ve never heard of the “10-date rule” before, it’s basically the belief that after 10 consecutive dates with someone, it’s time to come to the conclusion that you are officially in a relationship with them. Personally, I have lived, observed and counseled enough people to say that when it comes to knowing where you stand with another person, you shouldn’t assume one damn thing — you should 1000 percent communicate your thoughts and listen to theirs in return.
That said, it is a bit different (wouldn’t you say?) if you’ve been out on a couple of dates with someone vs. if you’ve been with them for almost a year. So yeah, the first thing to ponder is how serious the dynamic is. Because honestly, if things are new and fairly casual, I don’t see how ending things, whether it’s the holiday season or not, is going to matter much — one way or another.
Remember, the holidays tend to be a very emotional time; however, if there isn’t a huge emotional investment going on, I don’t think anyone in a casual situation is going to look back and think that you are a villain (or Grinch), just because you’d prefer not to go on a third date with them. Good lord.
Next point.
Do You Want to Slow Down or End Things Entirely?
GiphyAre you totally over him or is it more like there are some things about the situation that you want to step back and ponder before making any major decisions about the future? If the answer is “B,” I recommend talking it over ASAP; especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for a while at this point. I say this because, whether you all are at the “meet the family” (or have already met the family) stage or not, when people are in a relationship, they tend to factor one another into their holiday plans — and it’s hella inconsiderate to not take this into account when it comes to the guy who you are seeing.
That said, I will say this: It’s mighty interesting that you are choosing this time of the year for this type of relational self-reflection — so, while you’re on this break, think about what it symbolizes.
For instance, are you slowing things down right now because you’re not sure if you want to go into a new year with him or are you doing it because spending the holidays together tends to represent that a relationship is far deeper than you want yours to be right now? Because really, you could’ve gone with the summertime (for example) not the holiday season to make this type of move…so, if your “pump the brakes” time is now, chances are, there is some subconscious subtext going on that you really should get to the root of.
Actual Holidays Are a DEFINITE No-No
GiphyYou would think that this wouldn’t need to be said yet since I once experienced a guy who decided to be a complete a*shole on my birthday some years back — yeah, let’s address it. Isn’t it interesting that one study revealed that during the first week of December, searches for how to break-up with someone go up by a whopping 60 percent? Then, if you add to that the fact that the holidays can sometimes be pretty stressful — well, while most folks with a heart and a conscience wouldn’t dream of breaking up with someone on an actual holiday, sometimes the pressure of everything can create the perfect storm for it to happen anyway.
That said, a super-duper throwback song by Neil Sedaka entitled, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” — and it absolutely is. Know what makes it worse: It happening on a holiday, so that every time the day rolls around, it’s bittersweet because you remember that someone broke up with you then.
Listen, just because you may not love or even like someone (in that way) anymore, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them with some common decency and respect. Besides, don’t you also want your own Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to be as unscathed and drama-less as possible?
Whatever you’re gonna do, you’re grown, chile. If you want my advice, though — put good energy into your future holiday seasons and avoid breaking up (or even having deep decisions) on actual holidays.
Definitely Keep the Golden Rule in Mind
GiphyProbably, until the end of time, there are going to be debates about whether karma is real (in the sense of it being scientifically proven). While quite a bit of data says that it isn’t and that it tends to be adapted and promoted by certain faiths more than anything — if you do believe that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8), at the end of the day, that is pretty much what karma is all about and, as I oftentimes say, karma (or sowing and reaping) don’t have expiration dates. In other words, what you have said and done can manifest in ways and at times that you never saw coming. A cautionary tale, indeed.
So yeah — even if you’ve been with ole’ boy for a while now, you’ve tried to make it work and you just don’t see a future for the two of you anymore, however you decide to end it, definitely keep the golden rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you in mind.
Be as kind as you are honest. Be as empathetic (putting yourself in his shoes) as much as you possibly can. Avoid gaslighting him about how he feels about your decision. Be clear about how you’d like things to be moving forward (for instance, if you actually DON’T want to be friends afterwards, there’s no need to say it). And try not to do anything that will make him feel used — like waiting until after receiving a Christmas gift to end it (you’d be amazed by how many people do exactly that. SMDH).
The thing about break-ups is, live long enough, and you’re probably going to be on the giving and receiving end of one. So, even if you’re not really emotionally invested in your relationship anymore, be kind to your future self and be as respectful as possible throughout your…relational transition. Because even if you don’t feel like he deserves it, your feelings up the road, with someone else who may do the same thing to you…absolutely do.
Timing Is Everything
GiphyA bishop by the name of Fulton J. Sheen once said, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is ‘timing’ it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” And while it might seem really challenging to figure out when the RIGHT time to break up with someone is — “right” is about using good judgment, right is about conforming to certain principles (like integrity and fairness), right is about doing things in order. Now with that in mind, is the RIGHT TIMING now or should it be later?
Only you can really answer that yet what I will say is if your mind, body and spirit aren’t on the same page — figure out why before making any moves. Oh, and if it’s simply about fear — girl, whether it’s November 30, December 9 or January 14…break-ups are always going to be uncomfortable. It’s about knowing what’s best for you and then ending things in a way that is as respectful, timing-wise, as possible (again, due to the whole karma thing).
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‘Tis the season and sometimes “out with the old” means leaving a relationship behind. Just make sure that you move with wisdom and discernment and not hypersensitivity and knee-jerking.
That way, you can look back on every holiday season with as little regret as possible.
Due to how you handled things. Including a (potential) break-up.
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