
The summer after my freshman year at Spelman, I was my brother's social media marketing intern. Working with my brother as my boss was OK, but having my mother as the receptionist, my sister as a bookkeeper and my sister-in-law as the VP was just #teamtoomuch. There were so many personalities in the workplace that I was all too familiar with and whatever drama happened in the house was brought to the workplace. Needless to say, I was all the f*ck set after that.
While I may not have had the run-of-the-mill-working-with-family experience, I had the opportunity to speak to some dope siblings who work together creatively and have healthy relationships. We chatted about the importance of communication, the fine line between friends and siblings, being in business together and do's and don'ts of being siblings when working together.
Ceraadi
Known for their charisma, confidence and all around cool vibes, Ceraadi is the perfect example of the sister-best friend combo package we all envy. Sisters Saiyr and Emaza collaboratively create dope concepts for YouTube videos, dance challenges and music - how can they do it all and not be bored, tired, or ready to swing on each other? For these two, it's all about positive vibes and open-mindedness. "We're both head strong and opinionated. We believe in our ideas and that can cause minor bumps," Saiyr admits, "but we always find a middle ground - fusing our great ideas together."
"I believe we have become more open-minded to each other's ideas," Emaza adds. "Let's say we don't agree, our mom will come through to help us figure it out." The dynamic duo has taken to the 'gram to show off their unbreakable bond, from exuding collective confidence in their Savage x Fenty to car covers of Ari Lennox's "BMO". Their in-sync musical abilities are just one way that they show their love and admiration for one another, and they're not shy about bouncing creative ideas off of one another to create an even stronger sisterhood - even if it means being painfully honest. "Always be honest if something doesn't sound good regardless if the other will feel a way. Be open to other ideas," says Saiyr about their creative process and rules of the studio.
As these two embark on a journey to "secure the bag", pun totally intended, they recognize each other's strengths and abilities to pick up where the other may need support. "Saiyr observes and analyzes everything in-depth. Saiyr's thoughts and style come from a genuine place, so you never know what crazy and fun element she'll bring to any project we're working on," Emaza observes about Saiyr, while Saiyr boasts about Emaza's ability to conceptualize ideas and put the pieces together.
"I feel as the oldest sibling, you can't vocally say your favorite, but I knew once Emaza was born that would be my best friend," Saiyr gushes about her younger Capricorn counterpart. When asked about what it's like to have her Taurus-born sister as a built-in bestie, Emaza responded, "Life is easier having a built-in best friend. You don't have to put them through trials and tests to prove loyalty. I know I can depend on Saiyr. Plus we live together so I don't have to wait to see her and chat it up."
"Life is easier having a built-in best friend. You don't have to put them through trials and tests to prove loyalty. I know I can depend on Saiyr."
For more of Ceraadi, follow them on Instagram @ceraadi.
Simone and Jade Kendle
As influencers, mothers and entrepreneurs, Jade and Simone Kendle have their hands full - so having a sister by your side is just what you need to handle the twists and turns of life. As CEO and advisor of Life is Content, a source of e-courses for content creation, Jade and Simone manage their business, friendship and sisterhood with grace, style and absolute boss-chick mode. "We treat business chats like any other professional obligation; shoot one another a meeting invite and correspond through our business emails. We are both super mindful of work-life balance, especially as sisters. You have to be hyper-aware of one another, especially when we are brainstorming or trying to troubleshoot a problem," Jade Kendle tells us.
"The biggest thing I appreciate about working with Simone is the amount of grace we give one another. I can literally sense when she's had a tough day and the business call we're having is being impacted by that," Jade explains about their creative process and conducting business. "It's the level of comfort and commitment that is so special and unique to how we do business together." However, when it comes to flipping the 'sister-switch', Simone admits that working beside one another can become complicated and pose some challenges. "It's super hard swapping from family mode to business mode, without some overlap," Simone Kendle, CMO of Cannection, chimes in.
Simone continues, "We struggled a bit initially because we were so close, we assumed things the other person would do or feel, without always communicating those assumptions. It became super apparent that we had to be very conscious of treating each other as business partners during business hours, and sisters outside of that - as much as we possibly could!" Though problems may have initially been present, Simone and Jade don't draw a line in the sand when it comes to dividing between their relationships as sisters and friends. "I think a sister is a friend you didn't have to search the world to find. If anything, I think it helps maintain a foundation even through our disagreements, you know I'll be here no matter what. That's the best kind of friend," Simone adds cheerfully.
"I think a sister is a friend you didn't have to search the world to find. If anything, I think it helps maintain a foundation even through our disagreements, you know I'll be here no matter what. That's the best kind of friend."
For more of Jade and Simone Kendle, follow them on Instagram @lipstickncurls and @simonekendle.
Monica and Juan Veloz
Los Angeles-based brother and sister creative duo Monica and Juan Veloz are a pair worth not only following on Instagram if you need a dope aesthetic to your feed, but a pair of siblings worth admiring for their open and honest relationship as business associates and best friends. "We share three different relationships. We are siblings, coworkers and roommates and we think it's important to know when to wear our hats accordingly," the Afro-Latina YouTuber shares with xoNecole. "So we never bring work into a heart-to-heart conversation or use it against each other."
When it comes to practicing effective communication between one another, Monica and Juan both agree that they never let their emotions get in the way. By taking accountability for their actions, they find that by doing so, their creative process becomes seamless and effortless. "My sister is a bit of a perfectionist, but I've learned to be patient and try to calm her down if she ever tends to panic. I've gotten pretty good at that," Monica's talented photographer brother jokes. "We resolve these obstacles by taking into consideration each other's suggestions and somehow, someway meeting in the middle."
Though they face great challenges together and may not always see eye-to-eye when it comes to sharing a vision, Monica and Juan bump heads about their passion for the high quality content they produce. "We are each other's hype man. We don't allow each other to speak negatively about one another," says Monica, "but we are extreme because the last thing we need is for either one of us to put out subpar work."
When asked about turning off the "brother/sister" switch, Monica acknowledges that the two find the beauty in their difference of opinions when operating as business partners. "We turn it off when we sit back and remember that we did move across the country to pursue these careers and we have no time to waste," she adds before boasting about the creative eye and talent of Juan. "I think it's important to incorporate my brother in everything I do because I value his honesty and his critical eye."
"We share three different relationships. We are siblings, coworkers and roommates and we think it's important to know when to wear our hats accordingly... We are each other's hype man. We don't allow each other to speak negatively about one another."
For more of Monica and Juan, follow them on Instagram @monicastylemuse and @jveloz.
Coco & Breezy
What's better than having one dope, super talented melanated queen with a keen sense for style and swag? Two! Corianna and Brianna Dotson, known to the world as style icons Coco & Breezy, are the epitome of fashion forward female power duo. Founded in 2009, Coco & Breezy have taken over the world of fashion and entertainment world for their work with the late singer Prince and libation brand Ciroc while taking over the music world as DJs. "Being a sibling and a twin is a whole other connection," explains Coco as she hands the mic over to Breezy, who adds that she knew that Coco has been her best friend since her moment of realization and cognizance at two years old.
"I had a sister, a twin and a best friend who can be weird with me, who could learn with me and be creative with me. I learned that from jump," gushes Breezy about their young budding friendship which would later develop into worldwide domination in the entertainment and fashion world.
"Ever since we were little kids, our parents saw how close we were and they kind of taught us about always having each other's backs," Coco says. "I think what really got us to be so close is growing up. In growing up in Minnesota where we didn't really fit in with the other kids, [it] forced us to be even more of best friends than just sisters because with us going to school and not really having a group of friends to hang out with or a group of friends to have lunch with, we would be forced to do that with each other."
On conducting business together, Breezy shares that their creative processes are indeed different and that it took a while to reach a point of understanding one another's methods. "When we first started the company, we were stuck at the hip. I didn't know what I was great at, Coco didn't know what she was great at," Breezy starts. She explains their personality differences, from her sister's motherly, "super on it" demeanor, a personality that perfectly aligns with her strategic marketing and business development efforts. Breezy, as head of design and product development, self-describes as free-spirited and creative.
"We have our own responsibilities where we can hold each other accountable, which makes us a team and we're very aware of that," she continues. "I know her strengths are my weaknesses, and visa versa. There's no ego that is involved and we both allow each other to hold down what we're responsible for as opposed to arguing about something that I know Coco is great at."
"I know her strengths are my weaknesses, and visa versa. There's no ego that is involved and we both allow each other to hold down what we're responsible for as opposed to arguing about something that I know Coco is great at."
For more of Coco & Breezy, follow them on Instagram @cocoandbreezy.
Symphani and Nydiah Soto
If you haven't seen them on your Instagram explore page, which I'm sure you have, you've likely seen these sisters on YouTube with a bomb makeup tutorial or SoundCloud dropping melodic bars. Though the Soto sisters are miles away from living with one another, they still manage to keep the Instagram followers wanting more and their relationship healthy. "Symphani lives in LA and I live in Florida, so we definitely spend enough time apart, but I try my hardest to go out there for holidays and breaks between school just to keep her company. Living by yourself can get lonely, super lonely," Nydiah Soto shares about the distance between her and Symphani.
Not only are they states and timezones away from one another, they are also separated by seven years, but their sisterhood allows them to bond on a level not hindered by age differences. "When Nydiah was around 15 or 16 [years old], that is when we really looked at each as more than sisters, but as best friends. We are seven years apart - my being 27 and her 19 - but it doesn't feel like it most days!" the I Am artist shares about her younger half. "She feels like the older sister sometimes. It's amazing to have a tight bond with someone and it's forever; she will never not be my sister."
When it comes to creating dope, shareable Instagram content for one another's channels, Nydiah and Symphani have the natural instinct to get sh*t done and put on their boss babe hats. "I feel like we both bring different perspectives to things; whether it's where to pose, how to pose, or what ideas we can do for YouTube," shares Next Management Model Nydiah. "It happens organically. I push her to not be discouraged and she pushes me to get up and create content on the daily."
Symphani concurs that when it comes down to it, as content creators, she and Nydiah have a fun, loving business relationship in which they can rightfully hold each other accountable and push one another to do their best. "Nydiah goes hard! I've seen her outstand me at some points and it's super encouraging," Symphani gloats about Nydiah. "I am not afraid to try things and Nydiah doesn't give up easily. She's super determined and I really admire that about her. She makes me feel like I can and should do anything, and I make sure I give the same in return. We are a team."
"I am not afraid to try things and Nydiah doesn't give up easily. She's super determined and I really admire that about her. She makes me feel like I can and should do anything, and I make sure I give the same in return. We are a team."
For more of Symphani and Nydiah Soto, follow them on Instagram @symphanisoto and @nydiahsoto.
Featured image via Life Is Content/Instagram
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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While doing a podcast interview a couple of weeks ago, when I said my age, the interviewer complimented me by saying that what I said is not what they would’ve guessed. When they asked what the secret was, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Oh, I’m gonna take me a nap.”
I adore sleep. I’ve said before that it’s like what Six Flags is to some people. And really, it’s just a plus that there are so many health benefits from getting plenty of rest. Beauty-wise, science does reveal that getting no less than seven hours a night can slow down signs of aging. Know what else? There are some direct things that sleep — and the lack thereof — can do to your immunity as well.
And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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