
National Girls’ Night In Day Is This Sunday. Here’s How To Kick It This Weekend.

Raise your hand if you already know that September 22 is National Girls' Night In Day! And really, how cute is it that this year, it happens to fall on the eve of what I personally consider to be the best season of all—autumn? But before we get into some of the cool ways that you and some of your girls can celebrate it together, first a little history lesson.
My 'something new' for the day is the fact that the vodka company Ketel One is the one who is responsible for this truly awesome day of kickin' it with our female friends. Last year, they came up with the idea because they thought it would be great for ladies to have an official day, each year, to stay in, chill out, enjoy a drink or two and enjoy one another's company. Affirmative. The xoTribe could not agree more.
I will give this heads up, though. This year the holiday falls on a Sunday. This means that y'all might want to hang out on Saturday night until past midnight (you know so that you can say that you observed the actual day), meet up around brunch time on Sunday, or take it easy on any wine—or shots—that you'd like to take on Sunday evening. That said, if National Girls' Night In Day is something that you are totally down for, here are some of the ways to make it fun, memorable, and definitely worth marking down on your calendar every year.
1. Have a “Favorite Foods” Potluck
I don't know anyone who wants to do a night in and there not be any food around. But if you're the one hosting and money is tight, ask everyone to cook a dish that they are best at making. Also, ask them to bring along the recipe and a paragraph explanation of when they made it for the first time and their favorite memory surrounding the dish. You can compile all of the recipes and send them out to your friends later in the week so that everyone can learn how to make each other's best homemade meals.
2. Play the Online Version of Truth or Dare
C'mon. Does a round of Truth or Dare (or Never Have I Ever) ever get old? Especially when it's with some of your female homies? If you're not exactly sure what questions to ask, there's an online version of the game that lets you pick a category (such as "party" or "hot"); then it offers up questions (and dares) within that theme. If you want to take the dares up a notch, require that they be things that have to be done online like trolling an ex or posting a crazy statement on a Twitter account. Just remember that once it's on the 'net, it's documented somewhere forever, even if you do delete it. So yes, y'all, "dare" with wisdom—and foresight.
3. Hold a Dance Contest
Not too long ago, I was listening to Tha Dogg Pound's New York, New York on loop. What it did was two things. One, it reminded me that when everyone was making their top rappers list a few weeks ago, Kurupt should've definitely been on everyone's list. Second, it reminded me that a good song is timeless.
In honor of good jams, have everyone pull up their Spotify and share their favorite three songs, either from a particular year and era (y'all pick the year or era beforehand). Then have everyone try and find the dance that was big when those songs were out. Make sure some sort of prize goes to the one who remembered the dance without having to look it up first. Another prize goes to who could do the dance best. (If you need a 90s cheat sheet, you can find one here and also here. You can see some popular dances from the 2000s here.)
4. Bring Favorite Pics. Share Memories Connected to Them.
A lot of my besties, we've known each other for years now. But oftentimes, it's not until I see a picture of them that I've never seen before, and I get the backstory on it, that I end up learning something that I never knew. So yeah, another cool idea is to ask everyone to bring a baby picture, a picture from high school, and a college shot. Then have them share what was going on in their lives at the time. You can even make things interesting by coming up with a theme word and then have everyone take a shot for each time the word is said while everyone is in the midst of telling their tales.
5. Do an Affirmations Exchange
Several years ago, I was a bridesmaid at a wedding where the wife gave the sweetest bridal party presents. Instead of a piece of jewelry or paying for our shoes, she wrote and framed something that each of us taught her. Mine is hanging up on one of my bedroom walls; hands down, it's one of the best things that I've ever received.
Aside from the value of the affirmation, something else that I really like about her gift is it's a reminder that you don't need a load of dough to give a great gift to someone that you care about.
So, something else that might be cool to do is have everyone to write down something that they appreciate or admire about each individual, put it into a hat, draw them out, and share them. I guarantee that there will be lots of warm fuzzies shared by the time everyone is done.
6. Or Do a Clothing/Shoes/Jewelry Exchange
I don't know about you, but pretty much every friend that I have owns something that I wish was mine. Since the seasons are about to officially shift, something else you could do is have everyone bring the summer or fall pieces from last year that they don't want anymore—clothes, shoes, and jewelry included. Then, everyone can go through the stuff to see if there is anything that they want before you all donate them or give them to someone who might not be nearly as appreciative if they had it in their personal possession.
7. Teach Each Other Make-Up Hacks
There is not nearly enough time to get into all of the fly chicks who have online make-up tutorials. Today, though, I am going to shout out a channel that does do them but also has all kinds of other insightful and oftentimes very witty commentaries—nappyheadedjojoba.
You can connect YouTube to your television monitor and try and copy some tips from make-up experts like her and others (you can find more by putting "make-up tutorial for Black women" in the search field). Or, you can send out an email to your friends, asking them to bring some of their own make-up so that each of you can show one another a great tip, trick or hack. (You can even give out a prize to the best one.)
8. Watch a Favorite Movie. Then Have a Q&A Afterwards.
I really enjoy reading, so I fully support book clubs. But if you'd rather chill out than be all deep and philosophical, ask everyone to text their top five favorite movies of all time and show the top 1-2 of them once everyone arrives. Then afterward, just as you would in a book club meeting, go around and have everyone share what they loved about the movie, what stage of life they were in at the time, what the movie taught them, what they would do differently if they were the screenwriter or director—you know, stuff that encourages a stroll down memory lane and also sparks lots of conversation and laughter.
9. How About a Round (or Two) of 'Pick Your Poison'?
I've shared before that I'm a fan of Black web series. One that I checked out sometime last year that I really enjoyed was Diary of a Cheating Man. Interestingly enough, my favorite episode was one entitled "Naomi". The reason why I say that is because, recently, a podcast popped up in my YouTube suggestion feed that featured the lead character from the web series and the girl who played Naomi. They currently have a show called Shots of Honesty and the episode that I watched featured the game Pick Your Poison (at least, that's what they call it).
I'm not on social media, but according to Julian (the male host), a variation of this game has been circulating for a while. Basically, what you do is compile a list of really great and really bad traits for a hypothetical person. Then you do this for 4-5 other imaginary individuals and ask your friends which guy they would choose. Other than it being able to give you insight into what your standards and deal-breakers are, it's also a reminder that no one is perfect; that, to a large extent, long-term relationships are all about figuring out what you can tolerate, what you can't, and what good things about a person can make you endure the not-so-good parts of them. If you want to take some shots in between like Julian and his co-host Starr did, please feel free.
10. Participate in a DIY Spa Session
Listen, just because it's about that time to pull out your ankle boots and close-toed pumps, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't give your feet some attention. And a facial mask? This is the perfect time of year to give your face some extra moisture as well. That's why, as far as a girls' night in event goes, you can never go wrong with having a DIY spa session.
Think about what you'd like to focus on most—hands, face, feet, etc.—look up the ingredients that you'll need and ask everyone to bring one of the items in the recipe. For instance, if you're gonna do foot soaks, ask someone to bring a big bag of Epsom salt and someone else to bring a large jar of coconut oil. Or, if it's a facial, ask one person to bring a couple of cartons of eggs and someone else to bring a couple of containers of honey. That way, everyone can get pampered without breaking their budgets in the process. (Click here for some foot soak recipes, here for some hand cream and lotion ones, and here for some DIY facial recipes.)
Oh, and while everyone is getting the DIY star treatment, serve a signature fall cocktail or mocktail that will forever commemorate 2019 Girls' Night In Day!
Enjoy every single moment of it, y'all! You and your girls definitely deserve it.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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I Tried It: 3 Low-Maintenance Wigs That Will Elevate Your Look This Season
There's nothing like the feeling you get when your hair is done. It can instantly boost your confidence and put you in a great mood. I've never been a stranger to hair trends and I often experiment with the latest braided styles and colors.
But there are moments when I just don't feel like doing my hair. I'm natural and a lot of times I will braid or twist my hair up and cover it with a scarf or turban. However, when I crave a different look without the hassle of styling, I reach for a wig.
I've always had a love-hate relationship with wigs. Sometimes, I struggle to get them to lay flat and don't get me started with the bonding glue process. So when it comes to wearing wigs, I like to keep it nice and breezy around this b--- (word to Katt Williams), especially in the summertime.
That's why I jumped at the chance to try these three versatile wigs from Luvme Hair. Each one offers a unique look and is surprisingly low maintenance, which aligns perfectly with my philosophy that wearing wigs should make life easier. Let’s dive into the three styles below.
Headband Wig
Courtesy
This was the first wig I tried on, and I instantly fell in love with it. So much so that it took me weeks to even consider trying the other two. I’m partial to colored hair, especially blonds, browns, and reds, so I was skeptical about the jet black hair. However, I think the color, combined with the curl pattern, worked surprisingly well for me.
One of the things I really liked about this wig was that I didn’t have to braid my hair down first. I could simply throw it over a low ponytail, which is the epitome of a low-maintenance style. The headband has combs inside and velcro on the ends, ensuring a secure fit.
Half Wig
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I had never worn a half wig before, so I faced some challenges. I cornrowed the bottom half of my hair where the wig would sit, but I believe this made it more difficult to use the combs. It might just be me though. I straightened the top part of my hair to blend it with the wig, which looked cute for about five minutes.
Firstly, I have a brown/blonde color mix on the ends of my hair, and the half wig is black. So, I had to hide some of the color (I didn’t have time to dye the wig). Secondly, straightening my hair myself is always a hassle because it never lasts long. Add to that the summer humidity, and you get a hot mess. Despite all this, I managed to get some cute pictures before things got out of control, and that’s all that matters, right?
Would I consider this a low-maintenance hair style? Yes and no. I think it’s unrealistic for me during the summer, especially since I enjoy summer activities. However, when the weather cools down, I’ll definitely rock it, dyed, of course.
Bob
Courtesy
Now, this is the wig I was nervous about. I never had a bob and I didn't think I would like it. But once I put bobiana on, my mind instantly changed. I finally understood why the gworls rave about the bob so much. It was giving boss. It was giving grown woman. It was giving the bob means business. Iykyk. It was the ultimate statement.
I will say when I first put it on, one side of my wig just would not lay flat. It took some trial and error, but I finally managed to get it to look good. With the bob, I highly recommend braiding your hair down first as small as you can so it can lay as flat as possible. I really liked the ash blonde color, which is perfect for summer. The length also makes it a great low-maintenance style for the season, so you don't have to worry about the hair making your neck sweaty.
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