

National Girls’ Night In Day Is This Sunday. Here’s How To Kick It This Weekend.
OK. Raise your hand if you already knew that September 22 is National Girls' Night In Day! And really, how cute is it that this year, it happens to fall on the eve of what I personally consider to be the best season of all—autumn. But before we get into some of the cool ways that you and some of your girls can celebrate it together, first a little history lesson.
My something new for the day is the fact that the vodka company Ketel One are the ones who are responsible for this truly awesome day of kickin' it with our female friends. Last year, they came up with the idea because they thought it would be great for ladies to have an official day, each year, to stay in, chill out, enjoy a drink or two and enjoy one another's company. Affirmative. The xoTribe could not agree more.
I will give this heads up, though. This year the holiday falls on a Sunday. This means that y'all might want to hang out on Saturday night until past midnight (you know, so that you can say that you observed the actual day), meet up around brunch time on Sunday, or take it easy on any wine—or shots—that you'd like to take on Sunday evening. That said, if National Girls' Night In Day is something that you are totally down for, here are some of the ways to make it fun, memorable, and definitely worth marking down on your calendar every year.
1. Have a “Favorite Foods” Potluck
I don't know anyone who wants to do a night in and there not be any food around. But if you're the one hosting and money is tight, ask everyone to cook a dish that they are best at making. Also ask them to bring along the recipe and a paragraph explanation of when they made it for the first time and their favorite memory surrounding the dish. You can compile all of the recipes and send them out to your friends later in the week, so that everyone can learn how to make each other's best homemade meals.
2. Play the Online Version of Truth or Dare
C'mon. Does a round of Truth or Dare (or Never Have I Ever) ever get old? Especially when it's with some of your female homies? If you're not exactly sure what questions to ask, there's an online version of the game that lets you pick a category (such as "party" or "hot"); then it offers up questions (and dares) within that theme. If you want to take the dares up a notch, require that they be things that have to be done online like trolling an ex or posting a crazy statement on a Twitter account. Just remember that once it's on the 'net, it's documented somewhere forever, even if you do delete it. So yes, y'all, "dare" with wisdom—and foresight.
3. Hold a Dance Contest
Not too long ago, I was listening to Tha Dogg Pound'sNew York, New York on loop. What it did was two things. One, it reminded me that when everyone was making their top rappers list a few weeks ago, Kurupt should've definitely been on everyone's list. Second, it reminded that a good song is timeless.
In honor of good jams, have everyone pull up their Spotify and share their favorite three songs, either from a particular year and era (y'all pick the year or era beforehand). Then have everyone try and find the dance that was big when those songs were out. Make sure some sort of prize goes to the one who remembered the dance without having to look it up first. Another prize goes to who could do the dance best. (If you need a 90s cheat sheet, you can find one here and also here. You can see some popular dances from the 2000s here.)
4. Bring Favorite Pics. Share Memories Connected to Them.
A lot of my besties, we've known each other for years now. But oftentimes, it's not until I see a picture of them that I've never seen before, and I get the backstory on it, that I end up learning something that I never knew. So yeah, another cool idea is to ask everyone to bring a baby picture, a picture from high school and a college shot. Then have them share what was going on in their lives at the time. You can even make things interesting by coming up with a theme word and then have everyone take a shot for each time the word is said while everyone is in the midst of telling their tales.
5. Do an Affirmations Exchange
Several years ago, I was a bridesmaid at a wedding where the wife gave the sweetest bridal party presents. Instead of a piece of jewelry or paying for our shoes, she wrote and framed something that each of us taught her. Mine is hanging up on one of my bedroom walls; hands down, it's one of the best things that I've ever received.
Aside from the value of the affirmation, something else that I really like about her gift is it's a reminder that you don't need a load of dough to give a great gift to someone that you care about.
So, something else that might be cool to do is have everyone to write down something that they appreciate or admire about each individual, put it into a hat, draw them out and share them. I guarantee that there will be lots of warm fuzzies shared by the time everyone is done.
6. Or Do a Clothing/Shoes/Jewelry Exchange
I don't know about you, but pretty much every friend that I have owns something that I wish was mine. Since the seasons are about to officially shift, something else you could do is have everyone bring the summer or fall pieces from last year that they don't want anymore—clothes, shoes and jewelry included. Then, everyone can go through the stuff to see if there is anything that they want before you all donate them or give them to someone who might not be nearly as appreciative if they had it in their personal possession.
7. Teach Each Other Make-Up Hacks
There is not nearly enough time to get into all of the fly chicks who have online make-up tutorials. Today, though, I am going to shout out a channel who does do them but also has all kinds of other insightful and oftentimes very witty commentary—nappyheadedjojoba.
You can connect YouTube to your television monitor and try and copy some tips from make-up experts like her and others (you can find more by putting "make-up tutorial for Black women" in the search field). Or, you can send out an email to your friends, asking them to bring some of their own make-up so that each of you can show one another a great tip, trick or hack. (You can even give out a prize to the best one.)
8. Watch a Favorite Movie. Then Have a Q&A Afterwards.
I really enjoy reading, so I fully support book clubs. But if you'd rather chill out than be all deep and philosophical, ask everyone to text their top five favorite movies of all time and show the top 1-2 of them once everyone arrives. Then afterwards, just as you would in a book club meeting, go around and have everyone share what they loved about the movie, what stage of life they were in at the time, what the movie taught them, what they would do differently if they were the screenwriter or director—you know, stuff that encourages a stroll down memory lane and also sparks lots of conversation and laughter.
9. How About a Round (or Two) of 'Pick Your Poison'?
I've shared before that I'm a fan of Black web series. One that I checked out sometime last year that I really enjoyed wasDiary of a Cheating Man. Interestingly enough, my favorite episode was one entitled "Naomi". The reason why I say that is because, recently, a podcast popped up in my YouTube suggestion feed that featured the lead character from the web series and the girl who played Naomi. They currently have a show called Shots of Honesty and the episode that I watched featured the game Pick Your Poison (at least, that's what they call it).
I'm not on social media, but according to Julian (the male host), a variation of this game has been circulating for a while. Basically, what you do is compile a list of really great and really bad traits for a hypothetical person. Then you do this for 4-5 other imaginary individuals and ask your friends which guy they would choose. Other than it being able to give you insight into what your standards and deal-breakers are, it's also a reminder that no one is perfect; that, to a large extent, long-term relationships are all about figuring out what you can tolerate, what you can't, and what good things about a person can make you endure the not-so-good parts of them. If you want to take some shots in between like Julian and his co-host Starr did, please feel free.
10. Participate in a DIY Spa Session
Listen, just because it's about that time to pull out your ankle boots and close-toed pumps, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't give your feet some attention. And a facial mask? This is the perfect time of year to give your face some extra moisture as well. That's why, as far as a girls' night in event goes, you can never go wrong with having a DIY spa session.
Think about what you'd like to focus on most—hands, face, feet, etc.—look up the ingredients that you'll need and ask everyone to bring one of the items in the recipe. For instance, if you're gonna do foot soaks, ask someone to bring a big bag of Epsom salt and someone else to bring a large jar of coconut oil. Or, if it's a facial, ask one person to bring a couple of cartons of eggs and someone else to bring a couple of containers of honey. That way, everyone can get pampered without breaking their budgets in the process. (Click here for some foot soak recipes, here for some hand cream and lotion ones, and here for some DIY facial recipes.)
Oh, and while everyone is getting the DIY star treatment, serve a signature fall cocktail or mocktail that will forever commemorate 2019 Girls' Night In Day!
Enjoy every single moment of it, y'all! You and your girls definitely deserve it.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Fall Equinox: How To Make The Fall Your Season, According To Your Sign
The Fall Equinox begins on September 23, 2023, and it’s time to embrace abundance, gain clarity, and know that you are worthy of your desires. The Fall Equinox marks the beginning of fall and the end of summer and is a turning point of the year, where things settle in and come to fruition. The energy that fall brings is one of harvest, but it is also one of release, letting go, and finding your ground. Coming from a summer of intensity, drama in love, and overall moving through a space of deep spiritual growth- now that fall is here, we are ready to decompress, dream, and enjoy that which we have created for ourselves.
What Is the Energy of the Fall Equinox 2023?
The energy this fall is opening up new doors of abundance and is a time of reaping your rewards in life. Fall begins at the same time as Libra Season, and a lot of these blessings have to do with love and the relationship developments that will be taking place over the next few months. With a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Libra occurring a few weeks after fall begins on October 14th, something enchanting is happening in romance right now. The scales are coming into balance, new beginnings are occurring, and clarity prevails.
Relationships over the next few months are about focusing on the gifts and gratitude you find in them and accepting where things need to change as well.
By the time winter begins, most of the planets that are currently in retrograde will be direct, and this signifies the change of pace that fall is bringing. This fall highlights Eclipse Season overall, and the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Taurus on October 28th will be a time of creating boundaries, honoring your values and energy, and closing a chapter in your life that doesn’t align. Financial worlds are growing and finding new ground, but with Jupiter still in retrograde in Taurus until December 30th, patience is needed here.
Over the next few months, give yourself the space to gain some new perspectives, make room for love, and grow in abundance.
ARIES
Your guidance this fall is to take those first steps toward the goals you have been pondering over this year. There is a Full Moon in your sign a week after fall begins, and you get the opportunity to enter this season with less baggage and more closure. You will possibly be starting a new position or working in a new field, and you need all the good energy to back you right now. Know that you can count on your skills and talents to move you further in life and that help will be there when you least expect it. This is a fall of abundance for you, Aries, claim it.
Your lucky days this fall are: Sep. 29, Oct. 13, Nov. 13, Nov. 21
TAURUS
Patience, patience, patience, Taurus. You are creating something beautiful in the world right now, and the time it’s taken to get you here will all be worthwhile. Your guidance this fall is to nurture your world and your dreams and to bring more love and compassion to your life. You are preparing for a new reality but need some more time to dream it up and define that which you want for yourself and your future. The Full Lunar Eclipse happening this fall is occurring in your sign, and you are moving through some major closures in your life right now. This is a creative time for you, Taurus.
Your lucky days this fall are: Oct. 28, Oct. 29, Nov. 6, Nov. 20
GEMINI
This fall is all about taking care of yourself and valuing your time and energy, Gemini. The way you see yourself and your life are coming up for review right now, and you are being urged to look at yourself in a better light. Your ruling planet, Mercury, goes retrograde for the last time this year on December 13th, just before fall ends, and this time is all about taking what you have learned and choosing better for yourself. You may be tested to be more confident or true to yourself right now and over the next few months, and it’s about owning your part in this life and standing up for what you want.
Your lucky days this fall are: Sep. 25, Oct. 21, Nov. 20, Dec. 12
CANCER
This is an abundant fall for you, Cancer. You have worked diligently on claiming the opportunities and new doors that have been opening for you, and you are feeling free to be your successful self. You are encouraged in your independence right now, and you have proven to yourself just how talented you are and how much you have grown. No major aspects are happening in your sign this fall, giving you the space to breathe, create, and receive your rewards. Happiness fills your world, and even though you still feel like you are just getting started in a sense, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the gifts that are presenting themselves today.
Your lucky days this fall are: Oct. 13, Oct. 15, Nov. 12, Nov. 13
LEO
This fall is a turning point for you in love, Leo. New developments are taking place in your relationships, and you are being received especially favorably. This is the time to open your heart to growth and new possibilities and to get creative with what you are looking for right now. The Last Quarter Moon happening in your sign on November 5th will be a turning point for you this fall. Your unique charm and charisma are enough, and you attract many to you through your natural energy and love for life. Your ship is coming in this fall, and your heart is fulfilled.
Your lucky days this fall are: Oct. 1, Oct. 31, Nov. 5, Nov. 14
VIRGO
Virgo, this fall is a blessing for the heart space. You are feeling in tune emotionally, and there is positive energy coming your way and into your love life. You have spent a lot of this year healing, forgiving, and finding your voice, and over the next few months, you will be creating the spaces you have been looking to enter in your life. Venus enters your sign for a month on October 8th, and there are some pleasant surprises in store for you during this time. Fresh starts are coming in for you, and spiritually, you are awakening to the gifts within you and in your heart. Your beauty is showing, and love is coming in for you this fall.
Your lucky days this fall are: Sep. 25, Oct. 22, Nov. 5, Nov. 20
LIBRA
This fall is a new beginning for your financial world, Libra. Autumn begins the same day Libra Season does, and you have some extra motivation and energy within you right now. You are ready to put the action behind the intentions you have been setting for yourself financially, and this is a time of plans coming together and falling through to success. The more you stay focused and diligent, the more opportunities that can come for you right now. The first month of fall, the Sun is in your sign, and this is really the time to get things moving in your life, especially with a New Moon Eclipse in Libra on October 14th happening as well.
Your lucky days this fall are: Sep. 27, Oct. 14, Oct. 30, Nov. 20
SCORPIO
It’s all about the vision for you right now, Scorpio. You are focused on the future, your path ahead, and manifesting your dreams, and there is something passionate about the next few months for you. You may be taking some risks this fall as you test the boundaries on how far you want to go with something and what worlds are opening up to you now. Mars is in your sign from October 12th until November 24th, and life is exciting for you right now. You have your eyes on the prize and are ready to move forward toward the things that are lighting you up right now.
Your lucky days this fall are: Oct. 12, Oct. 13, Nov. 6, Nov. 13,
SAGITTARIUS
This fall is about taking a leap of faith, Sagittarius. Your guidance over the next few months is to do the things that you would do if you knew you would be supported in doing them. Less self-doubt is needed now, as you are walking on new ground. You are moving towards personal healing you have been wary of from the beginning, and you are ready to let go of some energy that has been holding you back. Trust that once you decide on something, the universe instantly begins to make it happen for you. Your season begins on November 22nd, and it’s time to put yourself first more. Have courage in yourself this fall.
Your lucky days this fall are: Oct. 8, Nov. 22, Nov. 24, Dec. 12
CAPRICORN
This fall is all about clarity for you, Capricorn. You are a wise soul, and you are owning this energy about yourself right now. Over the next few months, you will be developing spiritually, helping those who need your sound advice, and evolving in life. You have found a new sense of enlightenment and are enjoying the clear perspective that has been gained. Mercury goes retrograde in your sign on December 13th, right before fall ends, and this is when you will be feeling more tested to take the lead in your life and use your voice. Overall, fall 2023 is your time to surrender to the good within you and in your life, Capricorn.
Your lucky days this fall are: Oct. 10, Oct. 23, Nov. 4, Dec. 1
AQUARIUS
Things are moving fast for you this fall, Aquarius. This is a successful, harmonious, and passionate time for you, as many opportunities come your way at once. It will be hard to settle down with all the energy flowing through your life over the next few months, as you have so much to do and so many people to see. Overall, however, this is positive energy that you have been looking forward to in your life, and everything is coming together and moving forward where it was once stagnant. Fall is giving you the closure and the opportunity to reinvent yourself and start on new, solid ground in your life.
Your lucky days this fall are: Oct. 30, Oct. 31, Nov. 20, Nov. 28
PISCES
Your guidance for fall is to have balance in your life. There is a lot of new coming in for you, but you are also working on letting go of what has fallen. You have grown in many ways this year, and financially, you have seen growth as well but may be feeling the weight of responsibilities this has come with now. To move through this season with the most grace, give yourself more time to rest, to be, and allow things to fall into place on their own. Saturn has been retrograde in your sign since June and goes direct this fall on November 4th, Pisces. This is your opportunity to see things more clearly, protect your energy, and feel more in tune with your internal guidance system.
Your lucky days this fall are: Oct. 22, Nov. 4, Nov. 6, Dec. 12
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