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Trans People Are Not The Enemy
Cisters, we need to talk. (By “cis” I mean cisgender women–people who were assigned female at birth and also identify as women).
We’re living in scary times, battling multiple pandemics, and in the wake of the Supreme Court gutting abortion rights, the assault on autonomy over our bodies continues. With lives at stake, many trans and gender non-conforming people have come out to say to cis people, “Hey, please don’t forget about us in the fight for abortion rights,” as many trans men and gender non-conforming people have uteruses, are also able to give birth, and are already facing disproportionate harm when it comes to receiving healthcare. The backlash has been swift.
Many famous cis white women like Bette Midler and Pamela Paul in the New York Times have gone so far as to say that using inclusive language like “birthing people” or “people with uteruses” instead of just saying “women” when talking about abortion rights, is “erasure,” and just as violent as politicians and judges making anti–abortion laws. Unfortunately, Black cisgender women have also been attacking trans people. The latest Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist (TERF) to join the fray is singer Macy Gray who went out of her way to be a guest on noted racist and misogynoirist Piers Morgan’s show to say, “Just because you go change your parts, doesn't make you a woman, sorry."
This is straight up transphobia and just not true. Trans women are women. And “womanhood” is a social construction–which means its rules are made up by what a society decides at a point in time. It is not biological. (Even in biology, there are more than two sexes.) And looking to "parts" to make up the definition of a woman is dangerous.
Last week, a pregnant 10-year-old child, a rape victim, had to flee Ohio to get a legal abortion last week. This child has the “parts” to give birth, but is in no way a woman at 10 years old. There are women who have no reproductive organs. There are women who are unable or uninterested in giving birth. There are women who don’t want to ever be mothers. There are innumerable ways to be a woman. But when you reduce women to their “birthing parts,” you should not be surprised when your society dictates what you are and aren’t allowed to do with those parts. Motherhood is a choice and for all of our protection, it must be separate from womanhood.
Transphobia is violent and harms all Black women (that means cis and trans). To understand this, we must understand who constructed our ideas of womanhood and why.
The oppressive systems that all Black women are living under are interconnected and multi-faceted, targeting us for race, gender, sexuality, ability, class and so much more. This white supremacist, capitalist, ableist, cishetero patriarchy (to paraphrase bell hooks) has constructed our identities and assigned value on our lives based on how white we look, and how well we perform our assigned gender, heterosexuality, able-bodiedness and wealth. As a result, of course, white, straight, cis, able-bodied, wealthy men are at the top of this oppressive system and do everything in their power to oppress us so they can remain there.
When wealthy, land-owning, white men wrote in the Declaration of Independence that “all men are created equal,” they were only talking about other wealthy, land-owning, able-bodied white males, to the exclusion of everyone else.
Similarly, all the “women” (who did not even exist in any of America’s founding documents) were white, able-bodied, and married to men. Under white supremacist patriarchy, these white women could not hold elected positions or vote. Their property ownership was limited without fathers, husbands or brothers controlling their fates. Their pedestaling of white women as the ideal of womanhood, with a delicateness that needed to be protected and cared for by men has always been oppressive and infantilizing. But white women took comfort in having power over people with less wealth and people who weren’t white. And many of these footsoldiers of the patriarchy hold onto their white power in the face of their own gender oppression to this day.
When you understand the creation of womanhood and manhood as white supremacist constructs meant to specifically exclude the Black people they enslaved, you understand that womanhood and manhood are identities based on the whims of our oppressors, that can be taken away from us whenever they feel like it.
Ask Caster Semanya. The two-time Olympian and queer Black woman from South Africa is dark-skinned, muscular, married to another woman, and naturally produces testosterone in her body, which white people have decided gives her an unfair advantage to compete in women’s sports. The international governing body of sports decided she had to take medication to chemically alter her biology in order to be “female enough” to compete as the woman she is, or she would be banned from competing. Silver medalist Francine Niyonsaba from Burundi and bronze medalist Margaret Wambui from Kenya and many more were also banned for the same reason. That’s what happens when you win too much as a Black woman: they change the rules.
Ask Megan Thee Stallion. After all the hate she got for just literally being a victim of a shooting “allegedly” committed by Tory Lanez, she knew that her race, her complexion and the build of her body all played a role in why she was not allowed to be the dainty woman who deserves protection, care and human decency.
“And I don’t know if people don’t take it seriously because I seem strong,” Megan told Rolling Stone. “I wonder if it’s because of the way I look. Is it because I’m not light enough? Is it that I’m not white enough? Am I not the shape? The height? Because I’m not petite? Do I not seem like I’m worth being treated like a woman?”
Black cisgender women like Megan face transmisogynoir too, because the root of the violence against all Black women specifically is to reinforce our devaluation as people in comparison to white women and white men. Despite the ways individual Black women can gain proximity to whiteness (through colorism/featurism; through class; through performance of gender), we will never as a group be treated equally to white people under white supremacy. The police that murder Black people with impunity, regardless of our class and gender performance, will remind us of that. But cis people don't have to play the role of police against trans people for them. We don’t have to hold as sacrosanct a white supremacist construction of gender and gender expression that was never meant to include Black people in the first place!
When cis people reject transphobia, we are actively rejecting white supremacy and all of its spawn: classism, ableism, colorism/featurism, capitalism, and cishetero patriarchy. We are actively rejecting the idea that we can quantify people’s value and grant and restrict their rights as a result. We are boldly claiming bodily autonomy and personhood as a human right and becoming one step closer to our own liberation. And we need it urgently.
Trans people are under attack. More than 300 anti-trans rights’ bills have been introduced across the country in 2022 alone. Black trans women are being murdered with impunity in record numbers. Like Black cis women, Black trans men and gender non-conforming people are at extreme risk due to these abortion bans. Our siblings are in danger. They are not “replacing” or “erasing” us; they are us. And when white supremacists start to blur these so-called fixed lines about who these bans apply to – the same way they’ve done in sports to so many Black women; the same way they've done to a 10-year-old rape victim; the same way they've done to the chronically ill whose life-saving medication may be banned under the new abortion rules - we’ll all find out the hard way.
Cis people, we have a choice to make. The scapegoating of trans women, trans people and other gender non-conforming people will not save us. Trans people are not our enemies. They are not the ones who have built the systems that oppress us. They are our sisters and siblings and our liberation is tied up together. Our collective struggle is against white supremacist, capitalist, ableist, cishetero patriarchy. We can either be the overseers for white supremacy and eventually get crushed under its boots, or we can all be free.
Which will you choose?
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Here’s How To Start Running As A Beginner, According To An Expert
As the summer heats up, so does the desire to participate in outdoor activities that keep you moving and connected to others. Among these extracurriculars, running checks all the boxes.
If you look anywhere on TikTok, you might think that just about everyone is running these days. It only takes a few scrolls before you stumble across someone taking their viewers along for 10-mile runs or trading dating apps for run clubs.
Running is beginner-friendly, requires little investment, and offers a number of mental and physical health benefits, so it’s clear why the sport has become the hottest new hobby to participate in. And if you’re one of the countless individuals inspired to lace up your shoes and hit the pavement, you might be looking for a few practical tips to start your own running journey.
"The most important thing you can do for yourself as a runner or someone who's interested in starting to run is being consistent," Ashlee Green, co-founder of RUNGRL, a digital-first community for Black women distance runners, tells xoNecole.
When Green first began her running journey, she recalls never quite seeing herself as a runner “and certainly not an athlete.” It wasn’t until she moved to Chicago and worked for the city’s Nike store that her views on the sport began to expand. “I had a friend who ran, I had access to shoes, I had access to the Lakefront,” which eventually became her personal track.
A move to Washington, D.C., led to her joining a local running club, District Running Collective, which not only solidified running as a core part of her wellness practice but a cornerstone to building community.
“Community is absolutely what helped me to feel like I was an athlete and an actual runner,” she says. “It was through the opportunity to both show up as a community member and, over time, as a community leader, that deepened my commitment to the sport for myself and the impact that it would have on other people.”
Through RUNGRL, Green has since created a supportive environment along with her co-founder that encourages beginners to start where they are, grow in their journey alongside like-minded women, and “ultimately inspire more Black women to get and stay moving.”
To help get your running journey off on the right foot, Green spoke with xoNecole to provide the best tips for building stamina, finding a run club that fits your needs, and becoming the runner you desire to be.
Consistency Is Key.
“I feel like there's this sort of general, societal understanding that running must be easy, but it's not,” she says. “What does help it become easier is when you're consistent and committed to showing up for yourself and the miles on a consistent basis.”
“That doesn't mean you need to be running six or seven days a week. But what it does mean is that you’re committed to twice a week, three times a week, or whatever works for you and your schedule,” she adds. “Move your body and find ways to build up the stamina and the endurance you’re seeking because everybody's journey is different.”
Find an Accountability Partner.
“Having your ‘gworls’ with you makes it a lot easier,” Green says. “Somebody who can go through the experience with you, talk about how you're feeling, and tell you that your hair still looks great even though you're out there sweating. Having friends along the way, I have found, has made the journey better. Everything is better with your girls.”
Set a Personal Goal.
Green tells us, “Signing up for a race or just having an end goal and something to work towards makes it easier to build a plan or establish consistency because you’re working towards something specific.”
“Whether you want to run a mile by a certain day or sign up for this 5k, setting those types of goals helps you to have something to look forward to and work towards.”
Comparison Is the Thief of Joy.
“A lot of the times on the internet, we see success stories and people crossing the finish line, but running hardly ever looks like that all the time,” she says. “Most of the time, it sucks. I don't always physically enjoy the act of running, but what I do enjoy and appreciate, is what it brings and will continue to bring to my life: movement, wellness, community, accountability, and representation.”
“You don't have to compare yourself to the next person — you don't know what they're going through off of Instagram. One foot in front of the other is all that you can control, and that's all that you should feel beholden to in your process.”
Choosing the Best Run Club for You.
Green advises, “Seek out the groups, the clubs, and the crews that are into running for community, accountability, and creating safe spaces for people like us. This particular boom is really interesting, and it's trending around dating and things like that, which, in my opinion, takes away the feelings of safety and showing up because I want to be well and better myself.”
“So seek out groups that are in it for the right reasons as you are in search of your best self,” she adds.
Adopt a Healthy Mindset.
“One of the things that I often tell myself is, ‘You can do hard things.” Another one that RunGurl says all the time, “If you run a mile, you can do anything,” Green says. “One thing that I find myself saying when I’m actively running is, “No matter where you are on the run, you can do anything for 10 minutes. You can do anything for five minutes. You can do anything for however much longer you have to go. It's only a set amount of time left, but I can do it, I can show up for myself, and I will get through it.”
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