

When it comes to social media, viewers only get to see the results of our creative success, but to be honest, the majority of us are just winging it. I can wholeheartedly attest to not having all of the answers when it comes to work, life, and balance. I'm just figuring this ish out and learning more about myself and what I can handle during the process.
For the past few years, I've been juggling working in the beauty industry full-time, modeling, roller-skating, writing, and designing jewelry. Trust and believe that there are not enough hours in the day to do all of the things that I would like to. I have learned the hard way the importance of not pushing myself to the limit and neglecting the efforts of self-sabotaging because things aren't going as planned.
Like most of us blossoming creatives, this is a one-woman show, so on the days that I am being too hard on myself I say, "You are not Beyonce, and you do not have her team. Do what you can to achieve your goals when you can."
Most mornings, I designate time to separate work goals, creative goals, and personal goals that have worked best for me. Also, writing my accomplishments daily and writing encouraging notes to myself helps give me the reassurance that my hard work and dedication are worth it. Realistically, balancing working a 9-to-5 and being a progressive can be very time-consuming and overwhelming at times. It can take years before our creative dreams become the reality that we envision for ourselves.
Every now and then it helps to be reminded that your creativity is worth pursuing. Keep it pushing sis with these 6 tips:
Image via Giphy
1. Just go for it.
"Don't talk about it. Just do it." That is exactly what my best friend said after I shared one of my creative ideas with her on a train ride home. Ever find yourself sharing amazing ideas and forgetting to actually pursue them? Try your hardest to come up with ideas and then immediately create a plan to achieve them. Nothing in life is guaranteed, so now is the time to put your best foot forward. There will never be the "right" time to execute your creative ideas. My best advice for a blossoming creative is, that idea that you have just may not work but so what? At least you tried. I have made adjustments to my brand, tried things that worked, quit ventures that didn't suit me, etc. It all turned out for the greater good. I'm still a work in progress and making adjustments as I go.
Image via Giphy
2. Don't rush your creative juices.
We live in a world where instant gratification is so necessary. It's easy to get caught up in rushing ideas and the execution of creative projects. Remember, greatness comes with time.
When I first started creating my blog, I realized the importance of patience in creativity. I noticed that whenever I took my time with acting on my creative ideas, I had better results. Balancing a 9-to-5 and working on your creativity can be tough, but over time I learned to not beat myself up about taking breaks.
Sometimes you aren't going to be motivated to work on your creativity after work and that's OK. Commend yourself for the small efforts you do make towards your creative goals.
Try out different schedules to make your creativity more convenient and give yourself feedback in the process. Something that has helped me tremendously is scheduling creative freedom days. I literally wake up and say to myself, "Today, I'm going to come home straight after work, write in my journal and have 'me time.'" For whatever creative projects you are working on, make sure you take the time to create your best work. Don't rush, and take care of yourself.
Image via Giphy
3. Don't allow people to convince you to turn your creativity down.
Do you, and stay true to yourself. People will mislead you all the time, so you might as well do what you want. Get acquainted with being misunderstood. Way too often people will tell you that you are "over the top" and you do "too much". Let those people continue talking and carry on. Speaking your dreams into existence is just the beginning. Only you know what you want to do and how you want to do it. This is about you and your vision. No one else can see it but you.
Image via Giphy
4. Network and surround yourself with other creatives.
As a creative person, you need to keep a creative set of friends. If you don't have at least one, then it's time to find one. This is very helpful when it comes to expanding those creative ideas you come up with on the daily. When I first moved to Brooklyn, something that really helped me expand my business was surrounding myself with other creatives that I admired. I have creatives in my corner who I read my articles to and who try on the jewelry I design. I can always count on them to give me good feedback. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can be the push that you need. It's a great feeling to support other creative works and cheer each other on during the process.
5. Use social media to build your brand.
As a blossoming creative, it is essential to put your social media skills to good use in order to create your plan. You never know who's watching or who you might be inspiring through your platforms. Research yourself and figure out exactly what your social media accounts display about you. Allow your social media to show your most creative self.
Image via Giphy
6. Do it for you.
No matter what, do what you want and do it for you. I make sure that if no one else likes my content or jewelry, I like it. I try to ensure that I actually value everything I create and that the sole purpose is not money-driven. Don't be afraid to say "no" to projects that don't necessarily spark your interest or those that appear to be detrimental to your vision or brand.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured Image via Shutterstock
- 11 creative strategies to improve employee work-life balance ›
- How To Balance Full-Time Work & Your Creative Dream Job ›
- Here's How This Creative Entrepreneur Launched His Own Digital ... ›
- 9 Tips for Maintaining Your Creative Passion When You Have A 9 ... ›
- Why Flexible Working Hours Make Employees More Productive | Inc ... ›
- Why Flexible Working Hours Make Employees More Productive | Inc ... ›
- 9 jobs with top work-life balance - CBS News ›
- Kicking 9 to 5 to the curb is all about balance - WorkCabin Creative ›
- How to balance full-time work with creative projects ›
- Go Beyond the 9 to 5: Balancing Creativity with Routine | HuffPost ›
- How to balance full-time work with creative projects – The Creative ... ›
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
We Thought All-Inclusives Were Boring Until We Found These Twin Jamaican Gems
I’m not your typical all-inclusive resort girlie—especially for a couple’s trip. My man and I usually hop from one Airbnb or boutique hotel to the next, cooking our own meals, and chasing off-the-beaten-path adventures. But after eight years of host ghosting, catfish listings, and DIY travel stress, we decided it was time to switch gears. Our latest Jamaica baecation was the perfect excuse to give an all-inclusive resort a fair shot.
We landed on Couples Negril and Couples Swept Away—two Jamaican family-owned sister properties nestled in western Jamaica. With Caribbean roots dating back to 1949, this wasn’t just any chain resort—it had legacy and soul. And honestly? It was the reset we didn’t know we needed.
What made it even more special? We were back in the place where we first fell in love, now creating new memories in the same sun-drenched paradise. From booze cruises, pickleball matches, and wellness shots, to alluring late-night jacuzzi rendezvous, soul karaoke, and far too much champagne mixed with tequila, to really good jerk chicken and repeat-visit-worthy Asian cuisine, bae and I had a time.
Couples Negril And Couples Swept Away: Twins On The West Coast Of Jamaica
And it’s fitting that we visited in June (which is considered low season—a time when there are less travelers and better deals) because these sister resorts are like Gemini twins that embody two distinct sides of the same spirit.
Set between Negril and Hanover, Couples Negril is the social butterfly, full of energy and artistic flair; Couples Swept Away is the introspective dreamer, grounded in nature, wellness, and tranquility.
While they’re quite opposite in vibe, they’re united by a shared history and reflect the classic Gemini duality: light and shadow, play and peace, expression and reflection.
Bae’s Favorite: Chic, Modern, And Cozy At Couples Negril
Couples Negril Suite
Courtesy, Couples Negril
Bae’s favorite was Couples Negril—which has more than 230 rooms and spans 18 acres—for its mix of entertainment, modern minimalist vibes, and a diverse crowd of couples. He especially loved Otaheite Restaurant with its low-lit red velvet love seats and dishes meshing luxury with traditional island flavors (like the merlot stewed rabbit served with coconut polenta and the filet mignon with the jerk glaze.) And he lives for hearing me sing, so the piano bar was our jam.
We also spent lots of time at the beach bar, one of five on the property, snacking on fish tacos and sipping margaritas just steps from our suite.
We saved the rum for the included catamaran cruise (book ahead!), which came with endless punch and views of Negril’s West End—a fave spot of ours. Couples Negril made the all-inclusive life feel surprisingly easy and fun.
The property also features a treehouse spa, two pools, four jacuzzis, an au naturale beach (whew, chile!), and sports facilities. Everything was easy to access—the layout felt cozy and well-organized, making it simple to move between activities and amenities. At this resort, you can really have some grown-and-sexy fun without it feeling like a raunchy spring break episode of Couples Gone Wild.
My Favorite: Private, Classic Charm, & Nature Mystique At Couples Swept Away
Couple's Swept Away Suite
Courtesy, Couples Swept Away
While I loved Couples, once we stepped over to Couples Swept Away, the lush nature set on 19 acres won me over. This twin, which has 312 suites, 7 restaurants, 8 bars, 3 pools, 5 jacuzzis, and a spa, leans into intimacy and seclusion, and I felt like we had more privacy and room to explore–just the two of us—at this property. The rooms are rustic-luxurious, dressed in island cedar, with classic shutters and expansive verandahs that have hammocks where you can enjoy bright flora, the sounds of exotic birds, and the sea views.
The absence of TVs—along with its tropical fantasy allure— meant a 10 out of 10 experience for me. This resort invites couples to breathe deeper, slow down, and truly get to the core of intimacy, all within the hum of nature.
There were hidden enclaves with dipping pools, jacuzzis, open-air cafés, and quiet corners where you can sit by ponds filled with fish and bird watch (or have a little sneaky link with bae!)
One of my favorite stand-out amenities at this resort: the 10-acre fitness complex just a short walk across the road from the main property where I’d have my early-morning me-time while bae slept in. It has 10 tennis courts, squash and racquetball courts, a fully equipped gym, and a wide range of wellness and fitness classes are held there. I also enjoyed turmeric and ginger shots at the wellness bar.
Other standouts for food and nightlife included Lemon Grass (where you can enjoy Asian-inspired food and listen to the live music coming from downstairs), the chic Patois Bar (which was the late-night hotspot overlooking one of the pools and serving your usual bar fare like burgers and quesadillas—felt like we were at a Miami nightclub), and the Aura Bar (where bae sang with a quintet of other slightly drunken men and where we did the cliche but super-lit millennial couple thing: danced the night away to Top 40 hip-hop, salsa, and rock classics).
The Patois Bar
Courtesy, Couples Swept Away
Baecation Tip: Just be sure your partner packs a few linen or dress pants, loafers or soft dress shoes, and a few button-down shirts for the restaurants that require reservations. Also book your table and all-inclusive excursions in advance (or on the first day you arrive at the resort).
All in all, this resort-hop wasn’t the stifling, prison-in-paradise all-inclusive experience I remembered from the Jamaica family vacations of my youth. It also wasn’t the stereotypical AI disaster of bland food, lackluster customer service, and senior citizen activities that many complain about on social nowadays.
Both resorts offered a fresh take on luxury, great food, and good vibes—all without losing the intimacy we craved. All-inclusives might not be our every trip vibe, but for this chapter? It was exactly what we needed, and we look forward to making repeat bookings at both Couples Negril and Couples Swept Away in the future.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock