The world of dating can be tough, especially for the modern #girlboss. For some of us, we are dating our future King, but for the rest of us, we keep toying around with guys that are simply not worth our time. As we get older and established in our careers, we realize that we don't have time for bullshit or time to rush into a relationship that isn't meant for us.
As an girlboss or Alpha female, dating can be difficult. Once we find bae, and start to really like him, there are several things that we want him to know before things get too serious and we invest more time, feelings, and energy into him and the relationship.
1. We believe in being “courted"
No matter how good you look or how much we like you, there are thousands of things we would rather do than Netflix and Chill. We can pay for our own Netflix account (hell on top of Netflix, we pay for Hulu and Amazon Prime) so when we are dating someone, we expect to go on an actual date. Even once things get really serious, we still expect you to court us and chase us the same way you did when you were initially trying to get to know us.
2. Respect our time
As a working woman, we have so much going on. We put in a lot of hours in and outside of the office so with the few hours that we have left and dedicate to you, we expect for you to not take it lightly. If we are expected to go out to dinner at 8 p.m., be on time. Better yet, be early (but not too early). Show us that you understand that our time is valuable and since we make it a priority to give you time out of our lives, this means something.
3. We don't have to text and call every minute of the day
Just like I preached earlier, we are busy. When we are at work, we are at work. We are trying to build an empire and hope you are spending your time doing the same. Being successful doesn't come easy and it doesn't come quick. As a result, we can't build our empire and be successful if we are texting and calling you all day. On the bright side, dating a #girlboss means you don't have to worry about being with an overly possessive person that has to talk to you all day and know your every move.
4. We want you to take control
At work we have to make decisions all day. It's tiring. So when we get home or get away from work, we want someone to make decisions and cater to us for a change. If we are seriously dating, you should know by now what we like and don't like. Instead of making us choose where to go for dinner or happy hour, make the decision on your own. Whenever my man decides on the restaurant for dinner and even orders for me, it's an instant turn on and it shows that he understands me.
5. We want someone to complement our hustle
As a working woman, we hustle hard to achieve success and we want someone that hustles just as hard. We're Michelle and we want our Barack. Or maybe we are Jada and want our Will. Either way it goes, we want someone that can complement us in our work ethic and our “can't stop, won't stop" attitude. As we continue to grow in our careers, we don't plan on backing down. We plan on reaching higher so we want to date someone that is reaching beyond the sky in their own profession and goals.
6. No matter how serious it gets, our friends and family are important
We are believers in having separate lives, separate friends, and separate interests. As much as we love you, we also love our family, friends, and hobbies, and believe it or not sometimes we want to engage in those things on our own. Yes, we love spending time with you, but at the same time, girlfriend time is girlfriend time and no bae can ever take away from that.
7. We won't compromise who we are
We are happy that we have been shot by cupid, but we are not yearning for love that much to change who we are to impress you. Although with time we will grow, some things about us will not change dramatically. We expect you to love us as we are, and to not try to change our values, beliefs, and way of thinking.
8. We are not rushing down the aisle, but we don't plan on being the girlfriend forever
Even though we are not rushing you to put a ring on it, we want to feel confident that we are dating a guy that knows what he wants. Yes, we are not trying to elope the first chance we get, but we do know that in our future we want real commitment. If you know that you don't want that type of commitment, don't waste our time (or yours) by trying to grow something that will never blossom to its full potential.
9. Falling in love can be easy, but to stay in love requires work
When a relationship is new, your lives are like a fairy-tale. As time goes by, your life changes, his life changes, and for both of you, your careers may begin to have a high priority in your lives. Nonetheless, if what you have is true love, don't allow people or things to fizzle out the fire in your relationship. As you continue with bae, you are expecting him to be consistent in playing his part in growing the relationship.
#Girlbosses, what are some things that you think is important for your guy to know before things get too serious? Share below and let us know!
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
There’s nothing quite as humbling as navigating adulthood with no instruction manual. Since the turn of the decade, it seems like everything in our society that could go wrong has, inevitably, gone wrong. From the global pandemic, our crippling student debt problem, the loneliness crisis, layoffs, global warming, recession, and not to mention figuring out what to eat for dinner every night. This constant state of uncertainty has many of us wondering, when are the grown-ups coming to fix all of this?
But the catch is, we are the new grown-ups.
As if it happened without our permission, we became the new adults. We are the members of society who are paying taxes, having children, getting married, and keeping our communities afloat, one iced latte at a time. Still, there’s something about doing all these grown-up duties that feel unnaturally grown-up. Enter the #teenagegirlinher20s.
If there’s one hashtag to give you the state of the next cohort of adults, it’s this one. Of the videos that have garnered over 3.9M views, you’ll find a collection of users who are overwhelmed by life’s pressing existential responsibilities, clung to nostalgia, and reminiscent of the days when their mom and dad took care of their insurance plans.
no like i cant explain to her why i had to buy multiple tank air dupes from aritzia #teenagegirlinher20s #fyp
The concept of being a 20-something or 30-something teenager is linked to the sentiment of not feeling “grown up enough” to do grown-up things while feeling underprepared and even nihilistic about whether that preparation even matters.
It’s our generation’s version of when we ask our grandmothers how old they are and they simply reply with, “I still feel 45,” all while being every bit of 76 years old. In this, we share a warped concept of time while clinging to a desire for infantilization.
Granted, the pandemic did a number on our concept of time. Many of us who started the pandemic in our early or mid-20s missed out on three fundamental years of socialization, career development, and personal milestones that traditionally help to mark our growth.
Our time to figure out and plan our next steps through fumbling yet active participation was put on pause indefinitely and then resumed provisionally. This in turn has left many of us hanging in the balance of uncertainty as we try to make sense of the disconnect between our minds and bodies in this missing gap of time.
Because we’re all still figuring out what the ramifications of being locked away and frozen in time by a global pandemic will have on us as a society, there really is no “right” way of making up for lost time. Feeling unprepared for any new chapter of life is a natural rite of passage, pandemic or not. However, it’s important to not stay stuck in the last age or period of life that made sense to us because self-growth is the truest evidence of personal progress.
So whether you’re leaning on your inner child, teenager, or 20-something for guidance as you fill the gap between your real age and pandemic age, know that it’s okay to grieve the person you thought you would be and the milestones you thought you’d hit before you ever knew what a pandemic was. If there’s anything that the pandemic taught us, it’s that we have the power to reimagine a better world and life for ourselves. And if we tap into our inner teenager as a compass, we can piece together our next chapter with a fresh outlook.
Sure, we’ve lost a couple of years, but there are still some really amazing ones ahead.
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