9 Things Boss Women Want Men To Know
The world of dating can be tough, especially for the modern #girlboss. For some of us, we are dating our future King, but for the rest of us, we keep toying around with guys that are simply not worth our time. As we get older and established in our careers, we realize that we don't have time for bullshit or time to rush into a relationship that isn't meant for us.
As an girlboss or Alpha female, dating can be difficult. Once we find bae, and start to really like him, there are several things that we want him to know before things get too serious and we invest more time, feelings, and energy into him and the relationship.
Related: 6 Business Rules for Alpha Women
1. We believe in being “courted"
No matter how good you look or how much we like you, there are thousands of things we would rather do than Netflix and Chill. We can pay for our own Netflix account (hell on top of Netflix, we pay for Hulu and Amazon Prime) so when we are dating someone, we expect to go on an actual date. Even once things get really serious, we still expect you to court us and chase us the same way you did when you were initially trying to get to know us.
2. Respect our time
As a working woman, we have so much going on. We put in a lot of hours in and outside of the office so with the few hours that we have left and dedicate to you, we expect for you to not take it lightly. If we are expected to go out to dinner at 8 p.m., be on time. Better yet, be early (but not too early). Show us that you understand that our time is valuable and since we make it a priority to give you time out of our lives, this means something.
3. We don't have to text and call every minute of the day
Just like I preached earlier, we are busy. When we are at work, we are at work. We are trying to build an empire and hope you are spending your time doing the same. Being successful doesn't come easy and it doesn't come quick. As a result, we can't build our empire and be successful if we are texting and calling you all day. On the bright side, dating a #girlboss means you don't have to worry about being with an overly possessive person that has to talk to you all day and know your every move.
4. We want you to take control
At work we have to make decisions all day. It's tiring. So when we get home or get away from work, we want someone to make decisions and cater to us for a change. If we are seriously dating, you should know by now what we like and don't like. Instead of making us choose where to go for dinner or happy hour, make the decision on your own. Whenever my man decides on the restaurant for dinner and even orders for me, it's an instant turn on and it shows that he understands me.
5. We want someone to complement our hustle
As a working woman, we hustle hard to achieve success and we want someone that hustles just as hard. We're Michelle and we want our Barack. Or maybe we are Jada and want our Will. Either way it goes, we want someone that can complement us in our work ethic and our “can't stop, won't stop" attitude. As we continue to grow in our careers, we don't plan on backing down. We plan on reaching higher so we want to date someone that is reaching beyond the sky in their own profession and goals.
6. No matter how serious it gets, our friends and family are important
We are believers in having separate lives, separate friends, and separate interests. As much as we love you, we also love our family, friends, and hobbies, and believe it or not sometimes we want to engage in those things on our own. Yes, we love spending time with you, but at the same time, girlfriend time is girlfriend time and no bae can ever take away from that.
7. We won't compromise who we are
We are happy that we have been shot by cupid, but we are not yearning for love that much to change who we are to impress you. Although with time we will grow, some things about us will not change dramatically. We expect you to love us as we are, and to not try to change our values, beliefs, and way of thinking.
8. We are not rushing down the aisle, but we don't plan on being the girlfriend forever
Even though we are not rushing you to put a ring on it, we want to feel confident that we are dating a guy that knows what he wants. Yes, we are not trying to elope the first chance we get, but we do know that in our future we want real commitment. If you know that you don't want that type of commitment, don't waste our time (or yours) by trying to grow something that will never blossom to its full potential.
9. Falling in love can be easy, but to stay in love requires work
When a relationship is new, your lives are like a fairy-tale. As time goes by, your life changes, his life changes, and for both of you, your careers may begin to have a high priority in your lives. Nonetheless, if what you have is true love, don't allow people or things to fizzle out the fire in your relationship. As you continue with bae, you are expecting him to be consistent in playing his part in growing the relationship.
#Girlbosses, what are some things that you think is important for your guy to know before things get too serious? Share below and let us know!
Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage