Here's something that my friends know about me. More times than not, if I suggest going out (with one of them), I'll pick up the tab. Not because I have to but because it wasn't like they were dying to catch a matinee on a Sunday or try out a new restaurant — or even spend the gas that it took to get there. I called them. So, since I suggested spending money, I don't mind it being a "friend date".
By no means am I saying that this should be an implemented friendship rule or way of practice (of course not!); however, I am using it as a way to illustrate why, if a man asks a woman out, I don't get into the whole let's-go-Dutch thing. It's basically for the same reason why I oftentimes cover the tab with a friend. Whatever woman he approached was doing just fine (thank you very much) before he asked her out. Why should she need to fund the time that he initiated spending with her?
Once a couple has gotten some dates and clarity of what they're doing underneath their belts, her sometimes splitting the bill or even paying for a date altogether doesn't bother me in the least. But since first dates are a lot about making a good first impression, if a man extended an invitation, in order to make a positive impact, there are a few things that I think is OK — recommended even — for a woman to require ("require" in the sense of it being a deal breaker should he choose not to do them) from him.
Do you have a first date coming up? If so, I strongly encourage you to require the following guidelines:
I remember once reading a meme that said, "Chivalry isn't dead. It's wherever being ladylike went." Ouch. I will say this — chivalry doesn't work (well) if we as women don't allow men to be gentlemen. That said, I can't tell you how many times a male friend of mine has sighed as I opened the door for myself. Unfortunately, sometimes we are so busy trying to prove that "we've got this" that a man can't show us how gracious, protective, and caring he can be.
If you want to find out how good a man is at being a man, chivalry is a great starting point.
Whether it's calling rather than texting to confirm date plans; actually having plans before seeing you; picking you up (if you know him well enough, that is), and not honking the horn but walking up to your door to get you; opening your car door (and every other door you walk through); introducing you to anyone he knows that you both might run into; walking on the side closest to the street when you're on the sidewalk and/or walking you to the door at the end of a date — a man reveals a lot about his home training, intent, and the kind of respect he has for women in general whenever he's chivalrous on a date.
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