

Whether you’re someone who happens to be big on making New Year’s resolutions or not, if there is one thing that I definitely think every single reader on our platform should commit to doing in 2022, it’s getting some sound sleep on a consistent basis. Between all of these variants of COVID that are creeping up, the emotional roller coaster rides that keep on coming politically, professionally and financially, compounded with the everyday stress that comes from, shoot, just being a human on planet earth, now, more than ever, sleep has to be treated like it always should have been — an absolutely essential thing to do. Not some of the time but every single day of our lives.
So, how about doing your health and well-being a solid by making the following 10 sleep-related promises to yourself? Without question, being well-rested is one of the surefire ways to handle all that will come your way. That’s pretty much a guarantee. Anyway, on to the promises.
1. “I Will Get No Less Than Six Hours Each Night”
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 3 of us do not get enough sleep. And how much should that be? Believe it or not, even as an adult, you should be getting somewhere between 7-9 hours, each and every night for the sake of “recharging” your system. If you don’t, it could eventually lead to things like mood swings; stress; low productivity; poor decision-making; weak immunity; weight gain; lack of balance; a low libido; a higher risk of heart disease and diabetes, and even shortened longevity.
Listen, I know that hectic work schedules, kids, and whatever else you’ve got going on can make being in bed for nine hours seem like a real stretch; that’s why I said “six” in the title. That said, if you’re currently out here getting any less than that, that’s not good and the older you get, the more you’re going to notice it. Again, sleep is not a luxury; it’s a priority. Go into this year making sure that you treat it as such. Everything about you absolutely depends on it. Straight up.
2. “I Will Not Eat or Drink Two Hours Before Bedtime”
If you’re someone who struggles with acid reflux, you can’t account for some of the pounds that you’ve been packing on and/or it drives you crazy that you have to keep getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (especially since sometimes that can make falling back asleep seem damn near impossible), it could be because you are eating too close to bedtime. Consuming foods and drinks less than 2-3 hours before retiring for the night can cause your metabolism to slow down which can make it harder for you to digest your food (which can sometimes trigger heartburn).
Not only that but midnight snacking typically leads to eating foods that are full of sugar (which can keep you up). Plus, it’s pretty much a guarantee that drinking right before bed is going to result in you needing to empty your bladder at some point. So, if you want to sleep more soundly, stay out of the kitchen two hours before bedtime. If you don’t…prepare to deal with the consequences. Literally.
3. “I Will Also Be Intentional About What I Snack on After Dinner”
And what if you’re not prepared to stop snacking before bedtime? You’re grown, chile. Just make sure that you are more intentional about what you put into your mouth. Almonds are high in magnesium which can help to settle your nerves. Kiwi can boost your serotonin levels so that you’re able to fall asleep faster. Cheese and sunflower seeds both have tryptophan in them; this is a good thing because it’s an amino acid that can increase your melatonin levels which is a hormone that helps to regulate your sleeping patterns.
Sweet potatoes are dope because potassium, magnesium, and calcium can lower your blood pressure. Popcorn is a healthy carb that can help to produce more tryptophan in your system. Dark chocolate is loaded with magnesium (which can also keep your circadian rhythms in check). Pineapple is able to boost your melatonin levels too. And while you really should watch the drinking thing, if you must, tart cherry juice has a good amount of melatonin in it, oat milk contains tryptophan, and chamomile tea is great at relaxing you.
4. “I Will Create a Regular Sleep Schedule”
One definition of schedule is “a plan of procedure, usually written, for a proposed objective…”. When it comes to sleep if your “proposed objective” is to get all of the rest that your mind, body, and spirit require, you need to put a plan into action. This includes deciding what time you are going to retire every night, what your “wind down routine” will require and what time you want to wake up the following morning. For instance, if you want to turn in at 10 p.m. each night and get up at 6 a.m. (eight hours), you should give yourself 1-1 ½ hours to get ready.
This can include taking a shower or bath; reading a couple of chapters of your favorite book or listening to a podcast episode; doing some meditating and/or praying; listening to some soothing music; journaling; relaxing with an essential oil diffuser on; having sex (more on that in a bit) — whatever will de-stress you and relax you is ideal. Just keep in mind that the key to making a sleep schedule/routine work for you is that you do it, as consistently as possible, without fail, each and every night…until it becomes a natural habit.
5. “I Will Give Myself a Foot Massage at Least Three Times a Week”
It’s kinda crazy how many people ignore their feet when it comes to getting a good night’s rest. The reason why I say that is because a good foot massage can do everything from increasing blood circulation and easing pain to reducing anxiety and encouraging relaxation. The key to a successful foot massage at night is to apply an essential oil or even some CBD oil to (especially) your soles. The reason why is because there are thousands of pores on your feet (some say as much as 2,000) and they contain some of the largest pores on your entire body; this means that the oils that you put there will absorb into your system faster.
And just what kind of oils are best? Lavender will calm you. Ylang-ylang will slow down your heart rate. Bergamot reduces stress levels. Sandalwood will help to balance out your moods. And peppermint can reduce seasonal allergies so that you can rest more soundly. As far as CBD oil goes (something I’ve been using for my own feet for most of this year), it helps to relieve aches and pains and it works like a sedative which is always a good thing once you’re ready to catch some zzz’s.
For tips on how to give you (or your partner) a proper foot massage, click here and here.
6. “I Will NOT Have Deep Convos Prior to Bedtime”
A few years ago, Elite Daily published an article that said the best time for people to have deep conversations is during the evening hours. The logic is when you are more relaxed, you’re better at listening and communicating. While I understand the logic, my two cents are that “evening” should be no later than dinnertime. Yes, I am a huge fan of pillow talk between couples; still, I don’t think that should mean discussing bills, relationship stresses, or even sexual critiques. Although some people can compartmentalize these types of discussions to the point where they can have them, roll over and then sleep like a baby, most of us (especially people who are overthinkers) cannot.
Bottom line, when it comes to the really deep discussions that tend to take a lot out of you mentally, schedule times, preferably outside of the bedroom to have those. Inside of it, discuss things that create positive vibes and will make the two of you feel closer and safer. It can’t be said enough that a lot of interior decorators believe that bedrooms should ONLY be for sex and sleep; definitely not low-key business meetings or draining debates. Personally, I couldn’t agree more.
7. “I Will Not Use My Phone As a Way to Fall Asleep”
I’ve got a girlfriend who is a literal insomniac. She’s not really helping matters either because she is pretty much glued to her phone. She falls asleep looking at it and if she happens to get up in the middle of the night, she won’t go back to bed without peeking at the screen first. Yeah, that’s a real problem because not only does whatever intel she may see on her phone increase her chances of becoming preoccupied as her mind gets to racing but the blue light that comes from her phone screen can actually disrupt the melatonin production within her system.
I promise you that whatever is happening on your phone will be right there, waiting for you, come morning. So, unless you’ve got some folks within your home who are traveling or there’s a sick person who you are checking on and you want to leave the phone on in case of emergencies, there’s no need for your ringer to be on. Shoot, here’s a novel concept — how about turning it completely off until morning? (Close your mouth, it is indeed possible. LOL.)
8. “I Will Incorporate More ASMR”
If you’ve ever wondered what ASMR stands for, it’s Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. And what the heck does that mean? Well, a nickname for ASMR that might make more sense is “brain massage.” Yep, when you watch or listen to an ASMR video, it literally massages your brain in a way that activates the production of hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins — all of which are beneficial to you getting a good night’s rest.
For the past couple of years, I’ve been sleeping to the sound of rain falling and it has only taken my quality of sleep to another level. So, even if it’s not in your budget to cop an ASMR machine, at least hop onto YouTube to listen to the rain, wind, fans, ocean waves, or some other nature sound that can calm you, drown out outside noise, and take your quality of sleep to an entirely new level. (Just go to YouTube and put ASMR and the sound you are looking for into the search field. A lot of them will run for 7-10 hours without any commercial breaks.)
9. “I Will Sleep Naked More Often”
For many years, I’ve slept without any panties on, just so that my vagina can “breathe” (check out “What Your Vagina Wishes You Would Do More Often”). But it’s only been the past few years or so that I’ve been sleeping completely naked and boy — I really wish I’d been doing it for all of my adult life! On this platform, we’re such a fan of it that an entire article has been devoted to why it’s such a smart thing to do (check out “Yes, Sleeping Naked Could Help Your Anxiety & Sleep Pattern”).
Some of the perks that aren’t mentioned in this piece include the fact that sleeping in the nude can put you in a better mood, boost your metabolism, help you to maintain healthy skin, improve infertility (for both men and women) and most definitely increase your chances of gettin’ a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ if you happen to have someone in the bed with you. When you sit and think about all of the ways that sleeping naked can benefit you, it’s kinda crazy that only roughly 29 percent of people do it with only around 17 percent who do it every night. Still, if there is ever a time when you should want to be the exception and not the rule, sleeping in your birthday suit should most definitely top the list.
10. “Sex Will Become More of a Constant at Nighttime”
If you’re currently practicing abstinence or there isn’t a “contender” in your life right now, I’ll just say that this is a promise that you should make to yourself whenever the time is right. For the rest of you, though, definitely check out “Why Couples Should Engage In ‘Midnight Sex’ More Often” and seriously consider taking it to heart. The reason why I say that is because, if there is one act that can relax your body, calm your senses and make you feel safe and sound all night long, it’s sex — sex right before going to sleep.
For men, it increases their prolactin levels which can make them super drowsy, and for us, after sex, our estrogen levels tend to get a boost which can result in our REM cycle enhancing which can definitely help us to sleep so much better. Hmph. Not like any of us should need another reason to get it in more often, but if more sleep is what you’re after, more sex can certainly help you out. Happy New Year, y’all!
Featured image by Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'Black Girl Magic' Poet Mahogany L. Browne Talks Banned Books And The Power Of The Creative Pivot
You know you’re dealing with a truly talented and profound voice of a generation when the powers that be attempt to silence it. As a poet, educator, and cultural curator, Mahogany L. Browne has carved out a powerful space in the world of literature and beyond.
From penning the viral poem, “Black Girl Magic,” to writing Woke: A Young Poet’s Call To Justice (a book once banned from a Boston school library), to becoming the 2024 Paterson Poetry Prize winner and a poet-in-residence at Lincoln Center—her path exemplifies resilience, reinvention, and unapologetic artistry. She's published more than 40 works and paid the bills with her craft, a divine dream for many creatives seeking release, autonomy, and freedom in a tough economic climate.
A Goddard College graduate, who earned an MFA from Pratt Institute and was awarded an honorary doctorate from Marymount Manhattan College, Mahogany offers unapologetic realness with a side of grace and empowerment. "I started touring locally. I started creating chat books so that those poems will go in the hands of the people who were sitting in the rooms," she shared.
"And then I started facilitating poetry workshops, so I used my chat books as curriculum. And that, in turn, allowed me to further invest in my art and show the community and people who were hiring me that it wasn't just a one-off, that it's not just, you know, a fly by night—that I am invested in this art as much as I am invested in your community, in your children's learning, in our growth."
Mahogany has a special way of moving audiences, and her superpower sparks shifts in perspective, post-performance introspection, and strengthening of community bonds, especially among Black women. (One can undeniably recognize her gift for arousal of the spirit and mind merely from her listening to her insights from the other side of a Google Hangout call. I can only imagine the soul-stirring, top-tier sensory encounter when watching her perform in person.)
In this chat with xoNecole, Mahogany reflects on sustaining a creative career, the aftermath of writing a banned book, and using poetry for both healing, community-building, and activism.
Anthony Artis
xoNecole: What are three key things that have laid the foundation for a sustainable creative career for you?
Mahogany L Browne: What has helped me is that I'm willing to go in being an expert at knowing poetry and knowing the way in which art can change the landscape of our lives, not just as a poet, but also as a poetry facilitator. How you move through classes, those things are mastered, right? So when I go into another space that's maybe tech-heavy, I don't mind learning and being, you know, a student of the wonder of how we can make this magic, work together.
Two, you’ve got to know how to pivot. Sometimes we say, ‘Alright, this is what my life is going to be. I'm going to be a New York Times best-selling author. I'm going to, you know, have an album that's Grammy-nominated. And then, say you get dropped from your record label. That doesn't mean you can't make an album anymore. You can also still create an album that can be submitted to the Grammys. So, what does a pivot look like as an artist who doesn't have an institution behind them? Pivot being a student of the wonder.
Relationships also really help. How do I serve the community? And in turn, that tells me how the community can show up. For me, I have long-standing ties with a community that will outlast my one life. So, what does it mean to create space where these relationships can develop, can be nurtured, can be rooted, can be cultivated? Creating space—it happens through relationships.
xoN: With today’s economic challenges, what does your current creative process look like, and what are you working on?
MB: I’m always thinking five years ahead. I just reviewed the pages for two children’s books and recently released a YA novel. I’m drafting an adult fiction manuscript now.
Anything I create is founded with the root of poetry, but it can exist in captions. It can exist in commercials. It can exist as a musical. So that's where I’m at now.
xoN: You started performing "Black Girl Magic" in 2013, had an acclaimed performance of it via PBS and the work went on to viral success shortly after. Talk more about the inspiration. And what do you think about the continued relevance more than a decade later?
MB: I wrote it as a rally cry for the mothers who had been keeping themselves truly in harm's way by, you know, being a part of the community right after the death of their child or their loved one. They are usually mothers of victims of police brutality—and just seeing how they showed up in these community spaces, they are devout to the cause but obviously still grieving.
"I wanted this poem to be just a space of reclamation, of joy and of you, of your light, of your shine, of your brilliance, in any which way in which you fashion. Every room you enter is the room you deserve to be in. What does it mean to have a poem like that that exists?"
And the first time I did the poem, the Weeping that occurred, right? It was like this blood-letting of sorts. The next time I performed it, I'm moved to tears because I'm seeing how it's affecting other women who have just been waiting to hear, ‘You belong. You deserve. You are good. We see you. Thank you, despite everything that they said to make you regret being born in this beautiful brown, dark-skinned, light-skinned, but Black body.’
Black women are the backbone—period. Point blank. And so, that that poem became a necessity, not just to the fortitude of Black women in the community, but like you know, in service of healing the Black women.
xoN: One of your books was banned at a school in Boston, and it was later reinstated due to parental and activist support. What was that experience like?
MB: Well, I think it happened because they were racist. That's it. Point blank. The reversal of it was empowering, right? I realized, oh, I thought we just had to sit here and be on a banned book list. But no, parents are actually the leaders of this charge.
So to see that, the parents said, ‘Nah, we're not gonna let you take this book out of my baby’s school just because it's a Black kid on the front saying, ‘Woke’ and they're talking about being a global citizen. They're talking about accountability. They're talking about accessibility. They're talking about allyship, and you don't want them to have compassion or empathy or have even an understanding, right? So no, we rebuke that, and we want this book here anyway.’ To see that happen in that way. I was, like, reaffirmed. Absolutely.
xoN: You recently organized the Black Girl Magic Ball at the Lincoln Center in New York. Honorees included author and entrepreneur Rachel Cargle and National Black Theater CEO Sade Lythcott. What impact did it have and what expanded legacy do you hope to leave with your creative works?
MB: I was really interested in not celebrating just the book, but celebrating the community that made the book possible. And so I gave out five awards to women doing that thing, like, what does it mean to be a Black girl in this world?
I just thought it was gonna be an amazing time. Everybody's gonna dress up—we're gonna celebrate each other. And boom, I then realized that it responded to like a gaping hole. There was a missing thing for Black girls of all walks of life, all ages, right?
"It's very intergenerational. That was intentional to come together and celebrate just being us."
You have all these instances where just being you is either the butt of a joke or it's diminished and not worthy of a specific title in these larger institutions. So what does it mean to just to be loved up on and celebrated?
It felt like a self-care project at first. You know, for the first couple of years, folks were coming and they were getting that sisterhood. They were getting that tribe work that they were missing in their everyday lives.
I love the Black Girl Magic Ball because we got us. If I go out with a bang, they'll remember that Mahogany worked her a** off to make sure all the Black girls everywhere knew that she was the light. We are the blueprint.
For more information on Mahogany L. Browne, her work, and her future projects, visit her website or follow her on IG @mobrowne.
Featured image by Anthony Artis
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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Feature image courtesy