What To Know About Micro Weddings
The pandemic marked a shift in many societal norms, and not many were fun – except one – the reemergence of micro weddings!
Say what you will about weddings, but watching micro weddings throughout the pandemic brought so much joy and hopefulness in the opening act of despair as we know it (because, as we now know, COVID was just the tip of the iceberg). However, I’m sure it felt a bit turbulent to the couples at the time, or at least those forced to switch to a micro wedding after months or even years of planning a…macro…wedding.
What Is a Micro Wedding?
If you’re somehow behind on the times, micro weddings are more intimate in size but still have all of the imagination and extravagance of traditional weddings (if not more). This differs from a shotgun-style wedding in Vegas or at the courthouse. The magic number is 50 guests or under.
I recall a fellow alum from my college taking wedding photos in a beautiful gown with a ton of hot air balloons floating above her–in my network alone the micro wedding aesthetic went off!
Though this particular genre of weddings became popularized during the pandemic, micro weddings have always been an option. And, though you might think they’re on the decline since the pandemic is “over” one TikToker predicts they will continue gaining traction and becoming preferable over traditional weddings. This is largely based on the decline in wedding guest counts that predate 2020.
According to The Knot, weddings have gone from an average size of about 136 in 2017 to decreasing to an average size of 115 guests in 2023.
Something Old, Something New
What’s news to me is the existence of a "minimony," also known as a "mini wedding ceremony"–a new concept coined during the pandemic. Although both minimony and micro weddings prioritize intimacy, there are a few key differences, including how intimate the event gets. Size matters! So, while a guestlist of 50 is acceptable for a micro wedding, it’s closer to a perfect 10 as far as a minimony is concerned.
The other standout piece is that a minimony focuses more on the ceremonial aspect of the wedding – it’s closer to an elopement-style wedding than it is to a traditional wedding – focusing on the sharing of vows and cultural traditions. There is usually an officiant and a photographer, but rarely a full-blown reception. This portion of the ceremony is condensed down to a couple of desserts, allowing guests to celebrate with newlyweds closely.
Finding the One
Ultimately, finding the right wedding fit for you will rely on a variety of factors such as budget, family closeness and size, quality time with guests, convenience, and much more.
As a girlie who has only ever wanted to get married to appease my ego-driven Leo rising, yet is still on the spectrum of introversion – the micro wedding feels ideal because it meets that need without breaking the bank. I don’t know if I could justify tens of thousands on a wedding simply to have all eyes on me–especially because I’d much rather justify booking a flight or two with it. If I see a wedding in my lifetime, know this is where it’s at for me!
At the end of the day, so much of planning a wedding is truly about the individuals involved and their preferences. And, so you’ll want to consider how a micro wedding may or may not meet your needs when you begin the planning process.
LumiNola/Getty Images
Want to have a micro wedding? Here are some tips to assist with the planning process:
- A venue that vibes: Turns out “location, location, location” isn’t just talk for real estate enthusiasts. You will want to make sure you carefully choose a venue that fits your micro wedding just right. I hadn’t considered how important this might be until I had, but an extra large space on an intimate-sized wedding takes away from the intended intimacy – makes it feel unintentional and vacant. Consider spaces such as a rustic barn, restaurant, garden, or even your backyard.
- Small talk: You’ll want to inform your vendors that you’re going small – this will allow them to tailor their packages to meet your needs.
- DIY on the decor: Now that you’ve decided to entertain a smaller group of guests, you may be interested in and open to adding a personal touch by tackling a “do it yourself” project that pops. Maybe you do the calligraphy on your invitations or repurpose items you already have for decor.
- “Zoom” in: Though you’ve decided to go a more intimate route, this doesn’t mean there weren’t people you wish you could’ve invited. But, thankfully, we have advanced significantly in technology, and you’re able to livestream your wedding, so no one really has to miss out on the big day. (FYI: I’m not sure that you’d use Zoom – there might be something a bit more official and elegant).
- Up the ante: If budget constraints weren’t a reason for wanting to have a micro wedding, consider placing a great emphasis on quality when it comes to food, bar, flowers, and even your photographer.
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Featured image by Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Skylar Marshai Talks Hair Reset With SheaMoisture Bond Repair 'Revive & Thrive' Campaign
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
Skylar Marshai is known for her extravagant style, and her hair is no exception. But now, she’s giving her hair a break and focusing on hair care with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection. “I feel like my hair has always been an extension of my storytelling because I know it's so innately linked to my self-expression that I've been thinking a lot about how my love for crafting my hair into these different forms and shapes has honestly never given it a chance to just be,” Skylar explains.
“So for the next few weeks, I will be wearing my natural hair out.” The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is infused with AminoBlend and HydroPlex technology, scientifically proven to make hair 6x stronger with 84% less breakage by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds (vs. non-conditioning shampoo). That’s why it's the perfect hair reset for Skylar.
“It's been a long, long time since I've worn my natural curls. I haven’t nurtured it in its natural form so I’m scared of breakage, of it being dry, of it being damaged,” she admits. “I do feel like my hair is in good hands because I will be using the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection and it’s known for repairing damaged hair making it smoother, making it stronger like all of these very real concerns I have.”
Thanks to the unique blend of Amino Blend Complex (fortifying amino acids), Amla oil, and fair-trade shea butter used in each product, the hair will become visibly healthier after just one use. That’s because the collection focuses on repairing and reviving dry, damaged hair due to color, protective styles, heat, and more. This 4-step system, which includes Bond Repair Shampoo, Bond Repair Conditioner, Bond Repair Masque, and Bond Repair Leave-in, also enhances weakened hair bonds to reduce future breakage.
Skylar shows us how she uses the collection and it’s giving big, beautiful, healthy hair. “So I think it's gonna be some beauty to allowing my hair to rest,” she says. When it comes to styling, the influencer is “just gonna let Mother Nature do her thing.” Learn more about the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection below.
Step One: Bond Repair Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are infused with the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, Shea Moisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Conditionerdeeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Feature image by @skylarmarshai/ Instagram
Everything You Need To Know About Having A Doula, According To An Expert
Bringing a new life into the world is one of the most profound experiences a parent-to-be can have. Amid the excitement, anticipation, and anxiety, having the right support can make all the difference. Outside of your partner, parents, and friends, you might be curious about what a reliable, unbiased source of care could look like for your birthing process, and that’s where a doula comes in.
What Is A Doula?
While thoughts of an ethereal, peace-baring godmother may come to mind when imagining a doula, these trained professionals provide continuous physical, emotional, and informational support to a mother before, during, and after childbirth.
“We tend to fill in that spaces that the [medical] system don’t support,” Sabia Wade, a Full Spectrum Doula, Author, and CEO of Birthing Advocacy Doula Trainings & For The Village Inc. tells xoNecole.
“A doula says, ‘Let's sit down and talk about your ideal birth plan, what to do if things go in a different direction like needing to have a C-section or other medical interventions, and how to advocate for yourself and the medical terms you’re going to hear throughout the process,” she explains
Sabia Wade, a Full Spectrum DoulaCourtesy of Sabia Wade
New parents often experience a mix of excitement and worry, particularly concerning generational trauma, and parenting approaches, or feel grief over lifestyle changes. Doulas are there to support expecting mothers by offering guidance and being a reliable, knowledgeable presence. “At the end of the day, I need to know how you're doing,” she says. “We want the parents to have their own voice, so we stand in the space of being the translator.”
The Birthing Experience With Doulas
Doulas often meet clients at home between the 30-37-week mark and assess how the client is feeling, whether they need rest, movement, or emotional support at that time.
“We're doing a lot of education before so that when we get into the birth space, you come in with a base knowledge that helps you be a little bit more grounded,” Wade says. “We work on normalizing the birth experience because most people don't see birth until it’s time to give birth.”
From setting the atmosphere with the right music, from jazz, ambient sounds, and even Trap, to lighting incense, palo santo, or lavender, this time is all about setting the right mood to ensure the mother’s comfort.
“Every doula has their own flair, but I come into the space and check on my client to see how they’re doing, what they’re feeling, and getting oriented to the space,” she explains. “Then I start making the room the way my client wants it to be.”
Doula and Medical Professionals
With the mortality rate for Black women being significantly higher than rates for White and Hispanic women, doulas coach mothers to navigate conversations with doctors and nurses to ensure they understand all options, make informed decisions, and advocate for themselves effectively.
“It's important for a doula not to talk directly to a doctor since we’re not the ones that are receiving care,” Wade says. “Instead, I’ll coach the mother or their partner and say, ‘Let's figure out if this C-section or vaginal exam is urgent or not,’ — let me tell you what they said and you tell what you heard. Then let me help you ask the questions to make sure that we're navigating this in a good way.”
Benefits of Having a Doula
Studies show that doula-assisted mothers were “two times less likely to experience a birth complication involving themselves or their baby, and significantly more likely to initiate breastfeeding.”
From fewer C-sections, shorter time in labor, fewer negative childbirth experiences, a decrease in postpartum mood disorders, and improved communication between pregnant people and their healthcare providers, the continuous care of doulas is proven to produce better birth and postpartum outcomes.
Finding The Right Doula For You
When determining how to obtain doula services, it's essential to first clarify your financial situation. Explore community resources or organizations that offer free doula care, and check your health insurance coverage, as some plans may include doula services, particularly through Medicaid in certain states.
From prenatal care to postpartum support, the relationship with a doula can span one to two years, underscoring the importance of feeling safe and comfortable with them. When finding the right fit in your doula, one might take into consideration the shared background, age, communication styles, educational approach, gender and sexuality competence, and overall care and demeanor.
Ultimately, trusting your intuition and honoring your journey into motherhood, without feeling the need to justify or rationalize your feelings or concerns, is key. “You were this person before becoming a mother, so we’re going to hold that person and then hold your motherhood too,” Wade says.
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Featured image courtesy of Sabia Wade