Self-Care Practices For Creatives That Will Keep You Sane
Self-care is to self-love as action is to verb. It is an extension and a cultivation of what self-love embodies. It's one of those things that should be second nature to people today but oftentimes takes a backseat to other life demands. It is easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget to take care of yourself. Maintaining mindfulness and prioritizing self-care counteracts the negatives that deplete your mood, energy, health, and overall quality of life.
Self-care is vital.
When I think about self-love and the actions of self-care, the standard manicure/pedicure or going to the spa comes to mind, but I wondered if there were other go-to treat yo' self practices that creative women on-the-go used in their self-care practices.
I know for me, being on a budget does not allow much room to splurge on salon visits or massages too often (or not at all) so self-care practices had to take other forms. For a long time, I did not realize its importance until I became aware of how differently my experience with the world was when I took the time to be with me and there for me versus when I did not. I was so accustomed and so ready to be everyone's “yes" girl that I forgot to say “yes" to who mattered: me.
Self-care is mindfulness.
When I am mindful, I am centered and when I am centered, what goes into me and out of me flows in this wave of effortless beautiful energy. I enjoy running a luxurious warm bath, no bubbles, just clear water with music playing in the background, a glass of wine or a cup of herbal tea, and lit vanilla sandalwood candles to light the room. That's my ideal form of self-care. I am with myself, I am taking in myself, and I am enjoying myself and making myself feel good.
I spoke to ladies I admire about what all their self-care practices entail. Read below for some self-care practice inspiration.
"Self-care is keeping a close inventory of my time."
"My ideal method to practice self-care is to keep a close inventory of my time because time is one of the greatest resources we have. If I'm spending ALL of my time working without taking breaks or finding activities that replenish me, I won't be any good. So being mindful of what I'm doing and when I'm doing it helps keep me in check to make sure I'm spending time praying, writing, meditating, going to the gym, being around people who remind me of my greatness, working on what I love and anything else that restores me. Self-care consists of a really good workout, good food, amazing conversations, taking in art in whatever forms it comes, and a great night of sleep." - Melissa Kimble, Social Media Strategist & Creator of #blkcreatives
"Self-care is spoiling myself with myself."
"As someone who is constantly on the go, whether it be school, work, or personal projects, I often look forward to the nights I get to spoil myself with myself. I usually pick up my favorite bottle of chardonnay and start my night by delving into DIY's. I like to blend my own body oils while simultaneously indulging in the aromatic scents the essential oils exude while mixing. It's calming, relaxing, and gives me a moment to learn what my body and my brain respond to. I then apply the body oil to my body, taking the time to explore and appreciate the skin that I'm in. It is a liberating experience because it allows me to remain attentive to my body, while giving myself a break and simply focusing on loving what makes me, me." - Marie, Writer/Blogger
"Self-care is engaging all five of my senses in the best way possible."
"As a business owner, I have to practice self-care often or else I'll lose my mind, ha! To me, self-care means being mindful of how you're treating yourself and knowing what your needs are. We get so wrapped up in how to best serve others that we end up losing ourselves in the process. In order to center myself after a stressful day (and really, what day isn't stressful), I light yummy smelling candles, blast my trippy music of choice...or Drake, actually, it's usually Drake, and I eat my favorite foods while swaying around my room! For me, it's all about engaging all five of my senses in the best way possible, because sitting at a computer day in and day out can definitely weigh on you." - Jacque Amadi, E-commerce Entrepreneur
"Self-care is in the calmness of enjoying a good meal."
“I'm a huge advocate of the power of food: the moments after you've devoured an incredible meal are filled with such a wondrous sense of relaxation and satisfaction. For my self-care nights, I treat myself to a phenomenal meal. Sometimes I'll cook, sometimes I'll go out, but I don't worry about cost, calories, or time. Instead, I simply immerse myself in the calmness of enjoying an astonishing meal with myself. Also I always pair it with a bottle of either champagne or hard liquor, so that helps." - Zauni, Writer/Blogger
"Self-care for me is dance."
"Ideal self-care for me would be to go a dance class, workshop, or even a weekend retreat. I have neglected dance and movement for such a long time and it's a huge part of what makes me feel sensual and alive. It's easy to get caught up in adulting and let the things that feed your heart and soul fall through the cracks. Dance is an excellent creative outlet to give your mind a break and just flow." - GG Renee, writer/creativity coach
What do the self care practices that help keep you sane and centered look like? Share with me below.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images