I almost decided to unblock my ex from my Instagram. Unlike Issa Rae on the last season of Insecure, I was not afforded one last conversation with the man who I had spent the last three years of my life with. We never had the conversation that would bring my obsession with what went wrong to a screeching halt and prompt me to move forward.
Lawrence was the epitome of all of our exes, who we loved for their potential and let go of for the sake of the future we always dreamed of. I was able to live vicariously through Issa when she and Lawrence had their last conversation, one that signaled the end of their once impenetrable partnership.
There comes a time when we must let good things fall apart so that better things can fall together, and part of that process involves closure, a concept that we are not often afforded. Even when we are, we're left to wonder what's next. Our innate fear of the unknown has the capability to leave us paralyzed. This fear has the possibility to consume us whole and rob us of every hope and dream we've ever had.
After a tumultuous two-season long break up with long-time partner, Lawrence, Issa Rae's character on Insecure plans to tackle what life looks like after closure, and she ain't scared of sh*t
Earlier this year, showrunners announced that this season may not feature our #ExBae Lawrence (played by actor Jay Ellis). Although Black Twitter wasn't too happy about his exit from the show, Issa had this to say:
"I don't care! We want to stay as true to life as possible. They had a great conversation at the end of season two and it was just about like, hey, she's moving on. Sometimes we have those conversations."
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Insecure has quickly become one of the most popular television series among millennials because the writers seamlessly navigate the lives of women of color realistically. The show illustrates that the fact that breaking a bond is never easy, even if the relationship ended on a good note. Insecure is a reminder that it's okay to not unblock my former lover. She said:
"You never see the exes again. And it's okay! You gotta explore life without Lawrence."
Showrunner, Penny Prentiss, said that their focus overall was to tell a real story. And many times, closure really does mean the end. The show was never meant to follow the relationship between Issa and Lawrence, more so the relationship that Issa develops with herself. Developing a relationship with a new identity can sometimes mean cutting old ties. Penny said:
"At the end of the day, we're always trying to tell stories that are true and authentic. We were in the writers room and we were initially talking about, Okay, well what is he doing?… Well, he's not in her life right now. It was hard to make stories around that. We just said, well, if he's not around, he's not around. Let's just deal with the reality of what her life is now. Let's be true to that, when you breakup and you have closure."
Penny and Issa say that we'll see that glowing up ain't easy on the show's new season, set to premiere Sunday, August 12th.
Although we won't see our #ExBae too often on Insecure's latest season, we'll definitely see Issa explore life and love A.L. (after Lawrence), and it'll be one hell of a ride.
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“I’m a different person, you know, now than I was January 19,” King shared. “Grief is a journey, you know? I understand that grief is love that has no place to go.”
“I know that it’s important for me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, speak about him in the present because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us,” she added.
The Shirley star also added that it's vital to discuss the common misconception surrounding depression, noting that battles with mental health can manifest in diverse ways. “When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way — they expect it to look heavy,” King told Robin Roberts.
“To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand… He didn’t want to be here anymore, and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
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The Academy Award winner openly revealed that she was initially “so angry with God.”
“Why would that weight be given to Ian? Of all of the things that we had gone through — therapy, psychiatrists, programs — and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom,' " she said.
With the memory of her son near to her, King said through tears, “My favorite thing about myself is being Ian’s mom and I can say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that. I can’t do that if I did not respect the journey.”
Anderson, 26, was a musician, DJ, and King’s only child. In 2019, Ian escorted his mother on the red carpet of the Golden Globes where she took home the award for "Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture."
He toldE! News at the time, "She's just a super mom. She doesn't really let bad work days or anything come back and ruin the time that we have. It's really awesome to have a mother who I can enjoy spending time with."
Understanding that grief is shared by many others, King emphasizes the unique weight of her role as Ian's mother and acknowledges that the sadness will always be a part of her.
“Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. So it’s mine. And the sadness will never go away. It will always be with me.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741, or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
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