Why You Shouldn't Subscribe To The "No New Friends" Mantra
There is a quote that says, "Show me your friends and I'll show you your future." That quote truly embodies my thoughts and feelings on friendships. My friends are a very important part of my life. While I pride myself on being an unique individual, I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge how my friends have played a vital role in who I am and who I aspire to be. One of my best friends is why I left an 11-year career in state government to enter into the clinical research industry. This decision proved to be one of the best decisions I have made to date. My friends motivate me, inspire me, pour into me, love on me, and I truly don't know what I would do without them. While they each entered my life at different times, they are all equally important to me. When and how I met them has absolutely no bearing on how impactful they have been in my life.
I'm pretty sure we've all heard the sentiment "no new friends" before. The motto was made popular back in 2013 after the release of the hit song "No New Friends" by DJ Khaled featuring Drake. While the song may have popularized the "no new friends" slogan, the concept of loyalty and "staying down with your day ones" is not new. While I think that loyalty is an admirable trait and I have surely done a two-step to the song, I don't agree with the "no new friends" concept. Here's why:
It encourages staying in toxic friendships.
Let's be honest, we've all had a toxic friendship, or perhaps we've even been the toxic friend. Whatever the case, can we agree that no one should have to deal with that? However, the "no new friends" narrative encourages just that. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, we all need connection as human beings. If you aren't willing to meet new people and develop new friendships, you are more likely to stay in a place you don't belong out of sheer loneliness.
It encourages staying in friendships you’ve outgrown.
We are constantly evolving and changing and as a result we may outgrow friendships. It doesn't mean that anyone did anything wrong or that there was some sort of betrayal. It just means that you may have simply grown apart or that you don't have much in common anymore. Whatever the reason, it is OK to go your separate ways with someone you once called a friend and find your tribe.
You miss out on the chance to build friendship with some amazing people.
While I am blessed to still be friends with people I met over 20 years ago, I also have met some of my closest friends within the last five years or less. I honestly don't know what I would do without some of these friends and I am forever grateful for their presence in my life. These friends have prayed for me, seen me at my absolute worst, and dropped everything to be there in tough times. Had I followed the "no new friends'' mantra, I would have missed out on getting to know these gems.
It discourages having different groups of friends.
I have different groups of friends. I have friends that are from high school, from college, from work, married friends, single friends, church friends, Instagram friends, and the list goes on. While I'd like to think that if I got them all together in the same room, they would all get along, I still recognize that the likelihood that it will actually happen is slim because…life. If you subscribe to the "no new friends" way of life, you seriously rob yourself of having a diverse group of friends to do different things with.
While you may be closer to some friends than you are to others, or talk to some friends more often than you do others, it is OK to meet new people while still maintaining your friendships with your day ones. If you had to part ways with some of your day ones and have a completely new tribe now, that is OK too. Whatever it looks like, you have to do what is best for you. We only get one chance at this thing called life and you deserve to be surrounded with people that make you happy, new or old.
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Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
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Megan Thee Stallion On The Realities Of Being The Boss: 'You Do Everything On Your Own’
Rapper Megan Thee Stallion's recent appearance on Club Shay Shay is making headlines for her valuable insights on what it truly means to pay the cost to be the boss.
During the interview, the "Hiss" emcee discussed her decision to sign a distribution deal with Warner Music Group. This move came after settling with her former record label, 1501 Certified Entertainment, following years of legal battles over ownership of her master recordings and the right to release new music. Megan's new arrangement allows her to maintain her independence as an artist and release music through her label, Hot Girl Productions.
Another gem the "Cobra" lyricist shared on the platform was her advice from her mentors, Beyoncé and Jay-Z, regarding her legal woes and business ventures. Megan also got candid when discussing how much she spends on her productions as an independent artist.
Check out the highlights below.
Megan Thee Stallion On Why She Decided To Go Independent
“I’ve been in a situation where I felt I was so out of control for the longest. When I say out of control like I didn’t really have complete control over my music. I could barely go perform when I felt like it. They couldn’t use my music in commercials. I had to literally go to court every time I wanted to drop a song. So I just was like, you know what? I need to do what’s best for me like I can appreciate what a label can do for you, but if y'all can’t agree to these terms, then I don’t want to do it. So I wasn’t going to go nowhere where they wasn’t going to give me what I was worth, and they wasn’t going to give me what I was asking for. But that’s how I wound up with my distribution deal from Warner because they believe in me.”
“It’s really like a trust thing when you sign to a label. It’s all business at the end of the day, but you still want to be somewhere where y’all can trust each other. I know you ain’t going to mess over me, and I'm not going to mess over you. We both need to win. They seemed like they wanted to win with me. They didn’t want to win without me. It wasn’t a situation where I felt like we’re gonna do this with or without you. They wanted to win together, and that’s what I liked about Warner.”
Megan Thee Stallion On The Advice She Received From Beyoncé and Jay-Z
“When I was in the situation that I was in and I wanted to get out of it they told me you need to do this on your own. Like you already know what it is, you got all the tools. All the legal s–t that you are going through right now I know you are learning something, so you should figure out how to get out here and be your own boss.”
“Beyoncé is the person who actually inspired me to get my own tequila because I used to be the cognac queen. I’m still the cognac queen, but as much as I used to enjoy cognac and I promoted a lot of people liquor brands, she was like the next time I see you, you need to have your ownalcoholic beverage. I was like, ‘You right, queen. I am going to have my own s–t.’ So now I have my own tequila.”
Megan Thee Stallion On Spending Her Own Money
“I’ve been spending my own money for a long time. These music videos ain’t cheap. That’s what I definitely learned when I jumped off the porch and wanted to be independent. I said how much this s–t cost? I go in for myself. I believe in myself and I believe that I am making a really good investment in something that I believe in. If I don’t back myself up, who else going to do it? If I don’t believe it, y’all mother f–kers ain’t going to believe it. So the last three music videos y’all seen me put out that’s straight out of Meg Thee Stallion bank account, and that s–t was not cheap. But that’s okay because I like good art. When I look at a music video I want to watch that s–t over and over again. So I want to put out something that I know that my hotties are gonna want to watch over and over again.“
‘You can’t make money without spending money. When you ever heard somebody say it costs to be the boss. Now, I really do understand that. Like I like to have nice things, I like my things to look a certain type of way. I want it to be extravagant. I want it to look like a production every time you see it. Now, how is that going to happen? Whose money is that? You can either go get somebody to invest in you, but now you are making them a boss over you, too. Now, do you want to have complete ownership? You invest everything in yourself. You do everything on your own. I’mma say the money part is the part that I’ve definitely learned about having complete ownership and being your own boss.”
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